Chapter 34
"So, how does it feel to be free?" Eddie asked Raven, who was moving her arm around so rapidly he was afraid she was going to jam it up again.
Raven looked over at Eddie, who was sitting on her bed. She turned back to her mirror, examining the inner and outer parts of her forearm, and rubbed her elbow. "You know, you never know how important having two arms is until you lose one."
"Rae, you didn't actually lose your arm. It's still there."
"Yeah, but I couldn't use it." Raven muttered, preoccupied as she bent and unbent her arm. She looked up suddenly at Eddie, gasping. "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"It's cracking!"
"What's cracking?"
"My elbow! Listen!" Raven softly shouted, unbending her arm and then bending it again. Eddie leaned in closely, scrunching his face in concentration.
"Oh yeah."
"Oh yeah what?" Raven panicked.
"Something's definitely cracked…you. I can't hear anything; have you lost your mind?"
"It doesn't feel the same." Raven moved on as if Eddie hadn't just called her crazy.
"Well stop bending it so much."
"Tell me the truth; is one arm shorter than the other?" Raven said, holding both of her arms out to Eddie.
Eddie got up, took both of Raven's hands, and forced them down to her sides. "Rae! You have only been out of the sling for an hour! You've had that thing on for a week. Your arm is going to feel weird, but it ain't any shorter and it ain't cracking so please stop messin' with it!"
"Ooh…I'm detecting a little attitude problem." Raven said, moving to her bed and sitting down.
"I'm sorry." Eddie said, running a hand through his short hair. "I haven't been getting much sleep lately."
"Me either." Raven said softly, her eyes wide but unfocused.
"Chelsea's been calling me a lot."
Raven looked at Eddie. "How is she?"
Eddie shook his head a little before taking a seat next to Raven. "See now, I thought that was something you were supposed to know."
Raven frowned and her shoulders drooped.
"Chelsea says she hasn't seen or talked to you for days."
"I-I figured she needed some rest." Raven stammered, looking anywhere but directly at Eddie.
"What's up Rae? Why are you avoiding Chelsea?"
"I…I…" Raven sighed, closing her eyes and hanging her head. "I don't mean to. It just…every time I see Chelsea I think about what happened and how I could have stopped it."
"Chelsea thought it had something to do with that. Look, you can't keep blaming yourself. No one else blames you. Rae, you're hurting Chels more than helping her."
"Well, what do I do?"
Eddie shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that Chelsea needs you, just like you need her. And not being with her when you both need each other so much isn't a good idea."
Raven whimpered a little, doubled over and put her face in her hands. Eddie put a comforting hand on her back, patting it slightly. "What are you going to do Monday when we go back to school?"
Raven shrugged as a muffled, "I don't know" came out.
"Why don't you go talk to her?"
Raven sat back up and looked at Eddie.
Chelsea slipped her headphones from her ears and tossed them aside, sighing very loudly. Sam perked his head up from the foot of her bed, but put it back down once he realized nothing was wrong.
Chelsea looked around, wondering what she would do. Her parents had left her alone for the first time since she had come home from the hospital and Chelsea was starting to miss them. When they were out, the house was quiet…too quiet.
Chelsea inched herself upward into a sitting position and then whimpered as that all too familiar itching feeling filled her plastered arm. She tried to ignore it. She tried to think about other things, but her arm itched more and more until she couldn't bear it. It was then that Chelsea snapped.
Smacking the cast as hard as she could she shouted, "God freaking stupid damn cast! OUCH!" Her last stroke had been so hard it rattled the cast and her broken arm, sending needles of pain throughout it. Tears burned her eyes, not because of the pain, but because of the frustration. Raven hadn't talked to her all week and it hurt Chelsea. She knew it was because Raven was feeling guilty; what she couldn't understand was why they couldn't work through it together.
Worse than the pain, however, was the intense anger that Chelsea felt for Rocky and his crew. Why did he have to pick on them? Why couldn't he just leave them alone? Hadn't he done enough almost destroying their relationship by spray painting that word on their lockers?
Every time Chelsea thought about Rocky she felt her face get hot. She was never a violent person; she never had a reason to be. But every time she though of Rocky she felt like hitting or kicking or throwing something.
"MIKEY CATCH THAT BITCH"
She heard him all the time: when it was quiet, when she was alone, at the dinner table, in her dreams…everywhere. 'I need Raven,' Chelsea thought miserably. Nobody understood how she felt but Raven. Eddie and Ben were there, but they weren't the ones being attacked. They weren't the intended targets; they were just an unfortunate miscalculation on Rocky's part. Raven was the only person who went through the same thing as Chelsea…and she wouldn't even talk to her.
Sam, sensing Chelsea's depression, moved further up on the bed and nudged Chelsea's hand with his nose. Chelsea smiled a little, patting the dog on the head. His tail wagged slightly as he licked her hand.
"Thanks Sammy." Chelsea said as the dog laid down and rested his head on her stomach. "At least you're here--"
DING DONG.
Sam looked up toward the door, a slight curious growl escaping his mouth. Chelsea sat up. "Now who could that be?"
DING DONG!
Both Chelsea and Sam got up from the bed. Sam's paws clicked on the hardwood floor as he ran to the door. He barked twice, wagging his tail. Chelsea walked to the door, looking at Sam. She opened the door a crack, peering outside.
Raven stood on the step just in front of the door with a big bouquet of flowers in her hand. Chelsea's heart fluttered as Raven looked up and right into her eyes.
"Hey."
"What are you doing here?" Chelsea asked, her words firmer than she actually wanted them to be.
"Can I come in?"
Chelsea nodded, opening the door all the way and stepping back. Raven stepped in, smiling as Sam barked loudly, wagging his tail rapidly. She bent down and rubbed his head. He sniffed her and then walked away. She straightened back up, holding the flowers awkwardly. "These are for you."
Chelsea took them and tried her best to smile. "Thank you." She walked through her living room and in to her kitchen with Raven in tow. "Let me put these in water."
"Let me help." Raven said, grabbing a clear glass vase that was sitting just above the sink on the window sill. She filled it half way with water and placed it on the counter. Chelsea slipped the flowers in, taking one in her hand and smelling it.
"They're beautiful." Chelsea said to Raven, but it lacked any real emotion. "So I see your arm's all better."
Raven nodded. "Yeah. I gotta clean bill of health today. How about you? Are you okay?"
Chelsea sighed and walked into the living room, making Raven's stomach flip. Her heart leap up into her throat. "Chels, what is it?" She shouted, following the red head through the living room and into her bedroom.
Chelsea sat down on her bed and Raven followed. She grabbed Chelsea's good hand, her eyes filling with nervous tears. "What is it? Is it your arm? Your head?"
"I'm okay. The cast comes off in a couple of weeks. Doctor said my head's fine, I just need some more rest."
Raven sighed in relief, closing her eyes and titling her head back. "Oh God, Chels. You scared the crap outta me just now."
"Really?" Chelsea said, looking away, "I didn't realize you cared."
"What? Of course I care!" Raven shouted in her high-pitched squeal. "Girl I love you, I wouldn't know what to do if something was wrong. How could you think that--"
Chelsea cut Raven off. "Well I don't know Rae. Could it be that you haven't come to see me or called in the past few days?"
"You know I care about you Chelsea. And you know that it's…it's just been really hard for me the past couple of days."
"What? It hasn't been hard for me? Do you think you're the only one who can't sleep at night? You think you're the only one who can hear their voices in your head all the time? I was there too Rae."
"I know, I know!" Raven shouted, frustrated. "I-I just feel that I could've stopped it. That if I told you about my vision before the attack…you wouldn't have gotten hurt."
Chelsea sighed and shook her head. "Raven, it's not your fault. Please, please stop blaming yourself. You couldn't have helped what happened. And even if you did, Rocky would've found another way to hurt us, you know that. All we can do is deal with it, and I don't want to do that alone. I can't do it alone. I need you to be here with me."
"I'm sorry." Raven whispered, realizing that Chelsea was right. Raven needed her too; Chelsea had always been a great source of comfort, even when they were just best friends. They should work through it all together; it would definitely be better that way. Raven wrapped Chelsea in a tight hug, resting her head on her shoulder. "Forgive me?"
"Of course."
As they broke apart, Chelsea laid back down on her bed. Raven got up. "You're tired, you want me to go?"
Chelsea shook her head, grabbing Raven's hand. "No. Just lay here with me for a little bit, okay?"
"Ooh snuggling! We really haven't tried that yet." Raven said giddily, hopping on to the empty side of Chelsea's bed. Chelsea laughed, shaking her head. Raven moved in closer, wrapping her arm around Chelsea's waist and resting her head on her shoulder.
Chelsea inched into Raven, moving her body so they would fit together perfectly. "You know, you can sleep too." Chelsea said, her eyes already closing. "Because, I'll be here when you wake up."
"I'll try." Raven whispered, but she feel her eyelids getting heavy too. She hadn't slept well in days and there was something about holding Chelsea that made her feel so comfortable. Raven kissed Chelsea on the cheek and whispered, "Good night." in her ear.
Soft, slow breathing was the only response Raven got from the slumbering Chelsea. Raven smiled, resting her head by Chelsea's once again…and she drifted off to sleep.
For the first time in what seemed like forever her dreams weren't about Rocky or that horrible day.