Chapter 6: Choices

Draco watched Hermione as she ran after her friend. He turned to look out into the night. 'She's right isn't she?' Draco asked himself, unsure of the answer. 'I mean, it was just a kiss. I don't even know why I kissed her again. But if it was just a kiss then why do I feel so bad?'

Suddenly, Draco felt something that he was desperately hoping never to feel again. His forearm began burning. He knew what it meant…the Dark Lord was calling him. The burning grew hotter and hotter, feeling as if the mark was being burnt into his arm for the first time. He had to ignore it. He couldn't go back…..could he? 'What am I thinking! I'll be killed if I go back!' Draco scolded himself, but the pain was becoming increasingly unbearable. He had to fight it but he didn't even know if he could or for how much longer. He finally decided he'd ask someone for help in the situation or at least advice. He looked around for Remus Lupin but then realized that it was a full moon and anyone who attended Hogwarts during his third year knew that Professor Lupin was a werewolf. The burning sensation became greater and more intense and Draco wondered how he'd ever ignore it and then as abruptly as it began, the burning stopped.

'I did it. I ignored it.' Draco thought. 'Well there's no turning back now, I guess.'

For some reason though, Draco wasn't proud of himself for ignoring the call of the Dark Lord. In fact he was even more worried and frightened of what would probably happen now. He shook the thoughts from his head, he didn't want to think about that right now. For the first time in his life, it seemed that he was actually able to be himself….that he may actually have a chance to really feel . 'I could really get used to this life' he thought to himself and turned to return the back yard….hoping deep down that she would be there, unfortunately she wasn't.

He sat away from everyone, down by the lake, the cool breeze rippling through his open green silk shirt (he'd borrowed it from one of the twins just for today) and looking out over the water as it reflected the moonlight. His thoughts traveled everywhere. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hear a certain raven-haired, green-eyed boy sit down near him.

"Evening, Malfoy.", Harry said, breaking Draco out of his thoughts.

"Evening, Potter." Draco replied. "Can I help you with something or did you just come over here to throw more threats my way?" He picked up a pebble and tossed it across the water.

"Actually, Malfoy, I came here to ask you something. I'm just going to be blunt about this but do you have feelings for Hermione? I noticed the two of you couldn't keep your eyes off each other earlier." Harry asked.

"Well if you must pry into my business Potter….I honestly don't know.", Draco found himself starting to pour out his confusion to his once enemy. "Ever since we kissed this morning, I haven't been able to keep my mind off of her."

"Wait a minute.," Harry interrupted. "Did you just say kissed? You actually kissed Hermione? I knew it was a bad idea leaving the two of you alone there. Bloody hell, what else did you two do huh?" Harry asked accusingly.

"First of all Potter, before you go jumping into something that you know absolutely nothing about Nothing happened. I'm not even sure how or why we kissed…it just happened. And now I don't know what to do about it. And it's not just her, I have other things on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harry asked, noticing that Draco looked like he could really use someone to talk to.

"Only if you can tell me how to ignore the Dark Lord and not be killed in the process." Draco stopped and remembered who he was talking to. This was after all, Harry Potter, "the boy who lived", who had defied being killed by Voldemort and his followers five times now.

"It's not easy, Malfoy, believe me. But the difference is I don't have a choice and you do. Its not as if I chose this life, frankly I hate it." Draco was almost shocked at these words. He always assumed that Potter liked the attention he got. What he didn't understand was how Potter didn't have any choice in it. Sure it wasn't his fault that he survived, there's no way a baby could've been anything that special…that much he knew.

"Look, Potter, I'm sorry for being such an insatiable prat for the past six years. But it wasn't completely by choice. You don't know my father, he expects things. I can only imagine what will happen to me when my father finds out that I failed and have betrayed him. If the Dark Lord doesn't kill me, Lucius sure as hell will and he wont hesitate to do it either." Draco lowered his head, thinking about what his father will do if he gets a hold of him.

"Listen, Malfoy, I know we haven't been on the best of terms for the past six years. But if Dumbledore," Harry shuddered at the thought of his deceased headmaster and mentor. "If Dumbledore believed in you, then I can give you the credit for it. It took a lot of courage to betray Voldemort," Draco shuddered hearing his name " Trust me, I know how hard it is. I don't want this life, I don't like it. He already set everything in motion when he murdered my parents and even if I wanted out of it, there's no turning back now. I have to keep facing him until the end….no matter what the outcome might be. I cant tell you what to do, it's your choice. But I will tell you one thing, you have to do what you believe in."

Harry sat there for a moment and then got up and retreated back to where everyone was starting to file out and leave for the night. Draco was left with his thoughts once again. It would be so easy to just go back to the Dark Lord and plead for forgiveness. Sure he would be punished but the punishment would be more severe if he didn't return. He laid back on the sandy shore not far from the Weasley's backyard. He had never been so confused in his life…he didn't want to go back to the Dark Lord but he didn't want to be hunted down either. He wrestled with these thoughts for what seemed to be an eternity when suddenly Hermione's face flashed in his mind. Did he really feel something for her or was the kiss(es) simply circumstantial accidents? He couldn't deny that he felt something when they kissed, something that he'd never felt before. He knew that she was already in danger, simply from being a muggle-born as well as from being Harry Potter's best friend. Could he really allow himself to put her in more danger by admitting he had feelings for her? They could use her to get to him, there's no way he could ever hurt her again. 'Dammit, what am I going to do?' he thought, cursing to himself.

Two months later (August 31)

The summer was finally over. Tomorrow they would all be back on the train to Hogwarts. Draco and Hermione had not shared anymore "secret kisses". Hermione had pulled him aside the day after the wedding and they had agreed that things were definitely moving too fast. They'd just spent the last six years tormenting each other (some more than others) and had only recently become friends. They had all just received their Hogwarts letters (sent from the new Headmistress McGonagall). Draco and Hermione had been made Head Boy and Girl, mostly (on Draco's side at least) in help to keep him safe. If Draco wasn't in the Slytherin dorms, there would be less chance of one of them getting to him. Luckily Draco's grades had made this a slightly easier decision…that boy definitely was not stupid, in fact he was second in the school only to Hermione herself. They had all Flooed over to Diagon Alley (since Ginny had just turned 16 and wasn't quiet old enough for apparation yet) to buy their new supplies. They were all sitting at Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor (it had been reopened under "new management" until Mr. Fortescue was found) when suddenly Draco sat up straight feeling a now familiar burning sensation on his forearm. He looked over at Hermione and the others and quickly jumped to his feet. Excusing himself, making up some lame excuse, he quickly darted down the street to Knockturn Alley so that they wouldn't see him apparate. He'd made the decision a few weeks ago that there was no way he was going to allow Hermione and the others to become to any more danger than they already had. A few weeks ago, Draco had taken a risk while the others were inside the house busying themselves with other things, and apparated to Malfoy Manor to check on his mother. Narcissa, who was different from Lucius in every way, was there. His mother had never really believed in things the way Lucius did, she was never that strict about the whole "pureblood superiority" as he was for one, nor did she really condone the actions of her husband and his "friends" (aka the Death Eaters). After talking to his mother, she begged him to find away to return to his "duty" in fear for his life. She didn't want to see her son dead and was fearful that if he continued on this path, the Dark Lord would eventually find him and kill him. He decided then and there what he had to do next time he was called. He was going to go back to Voldemort and accept his punishment, even though deep down he knew that he did not agree with any of it. He had a plan formulated, he only prayed that it would work. Taking one last look down the street at Hermione and her friends, he closed his eyes and apparated.

Back at the table, Hermione looked around, wondering to herself where Draco had run off to in such a hurry. Shaking herself back from her thoughts, she realized that the others were beginning to get up. She hastily stood up as well, tossing some money onto the table to pay for her part. The four friends (Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione) began walking down the Alley, talking and laughing like old times. As Ron and Ginny walked into Flourish and Blotts, Harry grabbed Hermione's arm pulling her aside for a moment.

"Hermione, I think I should tell you something." Harry began, noticing a confused look on his friend's face. "Listen, a couple months ago, I was talking to Draco and he was telling me that he wasn't sure what he was going to do about Voldemort and everything. A few weeks ago, I saw him apparate from the Burrow when he thought no one was around. I'm not sure where he went, but I think you should know that I think he may have rejoined the Death Eaters."

"Harry, come on, haven't you gotten over anything in the past three months!" Hermione said, a tinge of annoyance in her voice. This wasn't the first time her best friend had voiced his concern about Draco. "I trust Draco…why cant you just accept the fact that he's changed huh? Look, I love you, you know that, Harry. Its just really bothering me that you cant grow up and stop living in the past. We've got a lot at stake this year so instead of focusing on your former enemy, perhaps we should spend more time focusing on…." Hermione was suddenly cut off by a sharp pain in her chest that caused her to collapse and black out.

She was walking through a forest somewhere. It was dark and quiet. She saw a small light up ahead and noticed that there were many hooded figures standing there in a circle. A voice rang out through the trees when she got closer to the clearing.

"Well well Mr. Malfoy. So you have the courage to show your face here after betraying me and failing your mission? Well I must admit that you definitely have courage but now you must be punished."

"Yes, my lord." a familiar voice replied. She saw a curse fly at the familiar man in the center of the circle of hooded figures. The man screamed out in agony. She cried out, unable to stop herself.

"No!"

She came to screaming and found herself sitting against a wall outside Flourish and Blotts with her four friends gathered around her, all looking at her with very worried expressions. 'No please tell me that it wasn't him' she thought to herself. 'Please, oh god, no it cant be.' She started crying.

"Hermione! Hermione what's wrong? Are you okay?" a very worried Harry asked her, shaking her slightly.

"You were right, Harry." she answered quietly, not even looking up.