Chapter 13: The First Lesson with Snape
"Hermione?…Hermione!" Harry called through the portrait of the Heads dormitories. Realizing that either she couldn't hear him or she was indisposed or something, Harry muttered the password to the portrait. (Hermione had given it to him at the beginning of term in case he ever needed to get to her for whatever reason.) "Hermione?" He called again, making his way down the hallway to her room. Knocking momentarily, he opened the door to find that she was not in fact in her room. He made his way to the bathroom and once again knocked first before entering to find that just as her bedroom, the bathroom was unoccupied as well. He was about to turn and leave the dormitories when he heard a sound coming from the opposite door at the end of the hallway. He knew that was Malfoy's bedroom but for some reason, he swore the small voice he heard was Hermione's. But it couldn't be…right? After all hadn't they just talked the night before and hadn't she decided that she was going to break off this…whatever it was…from Malfoy for him? Harry shook his head, obviously his mind must be playing a trick on him, and turned to leave again when he heard the sound for the second time. Looking towards Malfoy's door, he saw that it was open slightly so he decided to chance a glance to simply set his mind at ease. At ease was the furthest thing from his mind when his eyes met the sight inside the room.
"Mmm." Hermione sighed, cuddling up closer to Draco. The thoughts of the previous night fluttered through her mind as she awoke to the morning sun streaming through the open curtains. Draco stirred beside her and unconsciously repositioned his arm around her waist, holding her tightly.
"Mmm." Hermione sighed again, somewhat loudly as she stretched from her comfortable position. Suddenly her nerves stood on end when she heard someone calling her. Oh my god…Harry. She thought nervous. Nudging her companion, she tried to wake him up as well. "Draco. Wake up. Harry's in the dorm." She hissed, nudging him again which resulted in a groggy response she couldn't make out and his arm tightening its grip around her waist. Realizing that she couldn't move because Draco had a death grip on her, she tried to scoot herself into him and hide herself from being seen as much as humanly possible. Unfortunately it wasn't good enough.
The door suddenly flung open, (Hermione cursing herself silently for not making sure that door was closed all the way), to reveal a very pissed off looking Harry Potter. Without thinking, Harry stormed across the room to the side of the bed where Hermione was laying. Reaching down, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her upright. Hermione grabbed the sheet and covered herself, noticing that she was still naked from the night before. The sudden movement of his companion caused Draco to shoot up from his sleep. He saw Harry standing by the side of his bed, holding Hermione's arm and looking rather angry.
"Get your bloody hands off her, Potter! What in the bloody hell is wrong with you!" Draco asked, pulling Hermione's arm out of Harry's grasp.
"Listen, Harry. I can ex…" Hermione began saying before she was very rudely interrupted.
"Oh shut up Hermione! How could you? Last night, you told me that you still loved me after all these years. You said that you were going to break it off with this stupid git and now I find you not only sharing his bed but NAKED! You fucked him didn't you? Damnit Hermione, how could you?" Harry started off screaming but by the time the last question was out of his mouth he sounded more hurt than angry. Noticing that Harry wasn't paying any attention to him, Draco carefully reached beside his bed and grabbed his boxers, pulling them on inconspicuously under the blankets. He stood up and walked slowly around the bed to where Harry was now kneeling beside Hermione. Draco grabbed Harry by the shoulder and yanked him to a standing position.
"Why don't you get your sorry ass out of my room and maybe Hermione will come speak with you…after she gets a chance to wake up." He pulled Harry towards the door and shoved him out of it, slamming the door behind him. Hermione began to pull the sheet around her and climbed out of the bed, shaking slightly at what just happened. She was so caught up in the previous night's events she had completely forgotten about her meeting with Harry. She collapsed back on the edge of the bed and began sobbing silently. Draco, noticing her distress, sat down beside her and placed his hand on her back to show he was there.
"Oh my god. What have I done?" She asked, more to herself than anyone else. This left Draco looking slightly unnerved, wondering if she was regretting making love to him last night. She quickly tried to compose herself and ran around the room trying to find all her clothes. Gathering them up she rushed into the closet, not wanting to dress in front of Draco, and quickly threw her clothes on. She had to hurry and talk to Harry…she had to explain what had happened.
What had happened? She asked herself. She had come back last night to break it off with Draco. They had talked and cried a little and talked some more and then they had kissed. And kissed some more and then they….oh my god. She thought again. I gave my virginity to Draco Malfoy last night. Feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, she smoothed out her hair slightly and rushed from the closet. She was just about to disappear out of the door when Draco caught her by the arm.
"Wait, 'Mione." Draco asked softly, pulling her towards him.
"No, Draco. I've got to talk to Harry, to explain what happened." She pulled her arm from his hand and disappeared out of the room and he heard the portrait hole opening and closing.
She rushed towards Gryffindor Tower, figuring he'd more than likely head that way rather than to the Great Hall for breakfast. She turned started up the stairs to the portrait of the Fat Lady when she saw him. Harry was crouched against the wall, looking completely in shock. She rushed over to him and kneeled down by his side, placing a hand on his arm lovingly. He noticed her hand and turned a saddened face towards her face and she saw that he had been crying.
"Harry, I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to happen. I never meant to hurt you like that." She quickly blurted out.
"You…Malfoy. You had sex with my enemy. I loved you. How could you do that to me, 'Mione? To us? After everything we said last night, how could you run to my worst enemy and shag him?" Harry slowly got to his feet so that he was looking down at her, right into her eyes so she could see the pain within them.
"Harry please. Let me explain. I.." Hermione began, only to be interrupted once again by Harry's lips on her own. She melted into his kiss. What was she doing? She'd never been so confused in her life. Harry pulled away from her and stared into her eyes for a moment.
"Goodbye Hermione." he said and walked towards the stairs, leaving Hermione staring after him. Just before he reached the stairs, he turned to her. "Oh by the way, tell your boyfriend that we have another Order meeting tonight at 8." With that last comment he stormed off down the stairs and away from her.
After he was gone she slowly made her way back to the Heads dormitories, taking her time to think about the situation she was in. On one hand, she deeply loved Harry…she had loved him for three years now and he loved her as well. On the other hand, however, she was seemingly falling for Draco as well. But it was more than that, it was almost an unspoken and unguided infatuation. The month and a half she was apart from him after school started had almost broken her heart. And yet, after what just happened to Harry, she felt sure that her heart was now completely shattered. Right now all she wanted was to take a long hot bath and clear her head…after she got something to eat. She made her way down to the Great Hall where there was still some time left of breakfast. As soon as she walked in, she saw Harry sitting at the Gryffindor table with Ron and Ginny. She started to walk over to where they were sitting, like she always did, but when she got halfway there, Harry looked up and saw her heading that way, a look of sheer hurt and anger on his face, so she turned around and sat down at the opposite end of the table. She glanced over to the Slytherin table as she began picking at her oatmeal, but saw that Draco was not there.
She was still lost in her own thoughts when out of the corner of her eye, she saw Harry and Ron walk past her and out of the doors, without saying as much as a hello to her. Not even two minutes after they left through the doors, however, she heard a sound coming from the Entrance Hall…it sounded like a fight had broken out. She looked around the hall and evidently she wasn't the only one who heard it because all around her, students were exchanging looks, getting up from their tables and rushing towards the Entrance Hall to see what was happening. Curiosity set in and Hermione grabbed her bag and darted towards the doors herself. As soon as she pushed her way through a few second and third years who were gathered closest to the Great Hall doors, she wished she hadn't come out to see what was going on. There in the middle of the Entrance Hall, now surrounded by what seemed to be at least a quarter of the student body, was Harry and Draco in a drag-out, knock-down, fist fight. Swelling up with anger, she immediately rushed towards the two boys and, grabbing Ron and Neville to help her (who were standing nearby watching), started to try and pull the two apart. Ron grabbed Harry and pulled him back as Neville grabbed hold of Draco's arm, pulling him as well. Hermione jumped in between the two boys who were struggling against their restrainers.
"What in the bloody hell are you two doing?" Hermione yelled at the boys, looking back and forth between the two. Draco pulled himself free from Neville and wiped the blood that was coming from his bottom lip away with the back of his hand.
"Why don't you ask your friend? He's the one who attacked me as soon as he came out of the Great Hall. He just rushed at me out of nowhere and started throwing punches." Draco blurted out, obviously still pissed.
Hermione turned to Harry who was sporting a very apparent broken nose as well as a small trickle of blood that was streaming from his left eyebrow. She walked over to where he was hunched over, trying to catch his breath, and knelt down beside him. She placed her hand gently on his shoulder….she had a pretty good idea exactly what this fight was about.
"Harry," she said quietly, so only he could hear her. "Are you okay?"
"Okay?" Harry started, pushing her hand off his shoulder angrily, accidentally knocking her back slightly (which she quickly recovered from and stood in front of him). He stood up and glared in her eyes. "Yeah, Hermione, I'm bloody brilliant!" He was about two inches from her now and yelling through a clenched jaw. "I finally announce my love to my best friend, who supposedly returns the feelings, only to find her not even seven hours later lying naked in bed with my worst enemy! Yea, I'm bloody fucking brilliant!" With that last comment he turned on his heel and stormed off through the crowd and out the front doors, leaving Ron and Hermione standing there staring after him. Hermione felt a lone tear slide down her face (she'd been crying A LOT in the last 24 hours) as she felt a warm hand on her arm. She turned to see Ron looking at her compassionately.
"What is he talking about 'Mione?" Ron asked her. She looked at him for a moment, deciding whether or not to explain everything to him, but realizing there was still a good size crowd around them that hadn't fully dispersed yet, she decided against it and instead took off out the front doors to find Harry. She had to talk to him…to make him listen to her side of things. She headed towards the Quidditch pitch and saw a faint figure flying very rapidly around in circles in the middle of the pitch. Hermione had known that Harry loved to fly when he was hurt or angry or confused to clear his head. Reaching the middle of the pitch, Hermione looked up and started yelling his name to get his attention.
"Harry! Harry, please come down! We need to talk about this!" Hermione yelled up to the flying figure overhead. She watched as he flew a couple more laps then slowly and gradually made a descent, landing on the ground a few feet from her. She saw that he looked very distraught, as if he had actually been crying. He walked slowly over to where Hermione was standing.
"We don't have anything to talk about Hermione. You made your choice." Harry said, a line of regret forming across his handsome face as he said the words. He was directly in front of her now, close enough to touch. "I just don't understand it."
"You think I understand it," Hermione said, slightly louder and more irritated than she actually intended to. "I finally have the one person that I've wanted and waited for since third year and what happens, a moment of weakness because of another person, who I wouldn't have dared in a million years to actually have feelings for or get them in return from, breaks down in front of me and I couldn't handle it."
"So Malfoy cried huh? So that just made you decide to break my heart and screw him?" Harry shot back at her, a tinge of anger forming once again behind his words. That caught Hermione like a hard slap to the face.
"I told you, I didn't expect nor did I intend anything that happened last night to actually happen. I didn't expect anything to happen that's happened to me since June. I sure didn't expect to fall for Draco Malfoy of all people, and I sure didn't expect to give my virginity to him either. But you know what I didn't expect even above all that? You, Harry. I never in my wildest dreams actually expected you to love me. I always wanted it, I always hoped for it, but I honestly never expected it to happen."
A silent solitary tear slid down Hermione's cheek (A/N: I know I know…again) and Harry saw it glistening on her light skin as it reflected off the sunlight. That touched Harry, he didn't realize how hurt she was over the whole thing. He had been so obsessed with his own feelings he hadn't even thought of hers. He still longed to hold her again, to feel her soft skin in his hands, her warm lips on his. He softened a bit and reached for her, pulling her into him and wrapping his arms around her. She started crying into his chest and he just stood there holding her, neither of them saying a word. He didn't care that just hours ago this was the same girl he had professed his love for and then found naked in the arms of his worst enemy…even though Draco was on his side now he was still his enemy as far as Harry was concerned. The two stood there, in the middle of the pitch, just holding onto each other for what felt like hours. Neither of them wanting to lose the other but neither knowing what to do at that moment.
Draco had been standing close to the pitch, having followed Hermione out of the entrance hall after the fight, when she ran out after Harry. He had been watching Harry and Hermione since she had gotten there. He was close enough to hear their words, but kept himself hidden behind a large bush on the edge of the pitch. Draco watched as the two stood, holding each other for the longest time. He could feel the pain in his heart as he watched his love embracing another man. They weren't kissing or anything but just knowing how the two felt about each other was enough to hurt Draco. He forced his eyes away from the two of them and slowly made his way back to the castle, his heart aching the entire way.
That came much more quickly than Hermione had hoped it would. She had been avoiding both Draco and Harry since that morning. She'd simply left Draco standing in the middle of the entrance hall after breaking up their fight and ran after Harry. She hadn't seen Harry since their small conversation in the Quidditch pitch either. She just wasn't ready to face either one of them but unfortunately for her, they had an Order meeting that night and both of them would be present. She had spent all day locked up in her room, not coming out unless absolutely necessary. When it was time to head to the meeting, she quickly and absentmindedly threw on an old pair of faded jeans and a plain dark purple jumper, grabbing her black cloak and pulling her hair into a loose ponytail at the base of her neck on the way out. She took off her pendant, not wanting Draco to have any chance to use it to see how she was feeling. Deciding to Floo to Grimmauld Place rather than apparate along with Harry, Ron, and Draco, she climbed her way to McGonagall's office where the only Floo-linked fireplace was located…or at least the only readily accessible one. After muttering the password, Felis catus domesticus, to the gargoyle (since the headmistress was in fact a feline animagus, it was a somewhat fitting password), she made her way up the familiar spiral staircase and knocked politely on McGonagall's door.
"Come in." McGonagall's voice answered. Hermione stepped timidly through the door. "Oh good evening Miss Granger. Aren't you supposed to be heading to the apparation point with Harry and the others?"
"Um, that's what I came to ask, Professor. I was wondering if it would be possible for me to simply use your fireplace to Floo to the meeting?" Hermione asked, not looking up to make eye contact with her favorite professor.
"Well, I suppose there would be no harm in that Miss Granger. May I ask why you are choosing not to travel with your friends though?" McGonagall asked, her still stern appearance softening just slightly.
"I'm just not speaking very well to a couple of them and I thought it best to keep my distance for awhile. I am only going tonight because it's required." she answered quietly.
"Well you better hurry on along then Miss Granger, it's almost time for the meeting to start. Before you go however, I was just wondering if you wanted to talk about anything." McGonagall asked, her face giving a sincere look of concern towards her best student. Hermione paused for a moment, but then shook her head and walked to the fireplace in the back of the office. Saying "12 Grimmauld Place" as quietly as possible, she tossed the powder and was sent in a green whirlwind, landing uneasily in the sitting room of Harry's house. Steadying herself, she brushed the dust off of her black cloak, jumper and jeans and slowly made her way to the living room where the meeting was just starting.
Hermione inched her way quietly into an empty spot on a couch at the back of the room, hoping not to be noticed, sitting down next to Tonks. Tonks smiled sweetly at her when she sat down but then noticing Hermione's disheveled look, leaned over and whispered to her, asking if everything was alright. Hermione felt herself nodding very lightly and Tonks leaned away again, focusing back on Lupin who was talking.
She continued to space out all during the hour long meeting, never really paying attention to anything that was being said which was very unlike her. She found herself glancing around the room occasionally, chancing looks and Harry and Draco who were sitting as far away from each other as possible…Draco in one of the high backed chairs on the side of the room and Harry, of course, sitting backwards in a spare dining chair next to Remus Lupin that had been brought in from the dining room. She continued that behavior until someone mentioning her name shook her from her thoughts.
"We were able to make it out with very few injuries, with the exclusion of Hermione." Harry was telling the room, obviously talking about what had happened during their visit to the Department of Mysteries. For a moment, all eyes seemed to be on her but she quickly gave a look that she was fine and nodded to Harry to continue. "Hermione unfortunately was badly injured by Voldemort when she was thrown across the room. Madam Pomfrey had to put her in a magically induced sleep for a week to help her injuries heal. Luckily Pomfrey was able to fully heal her up and she was released a few days ago."
The meeting went on and Hermione dazed out again, completely lost in her own battling thoughts, and unaware of what was going on all around her. When she broke out of her "trance" again, she noticed that the meeting seemed to be over and that people were starting to get up and disperse. She took this opportunity to try and sneak out without Harry or Draco noticing. Unfortunately that was not to be the case.
"Hermione?" Lupin called from across the room, just as she was about to slip out of the living room. She quickly turned around and saw Remus motioning for her to come over. Harry and Draco were both standing near Remus so she kept her eyes on her former professor as she made her way through the remaining members.
"Yes, Remus?" Hermione asked, trying not to show how incredibly uncomfortable she was in the present company. She felt both boys' eyes baring into her but she refused to look at either one of them.
"Stay behind. Given the events that happened at the last meeting, you were unable to begin your lessons with Severus so he has graciously decided to stay behind and give you and Draco your lesson tonight. I've asked Harry to stay as well to ensure that you all get back to Hogwarts safely tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Why can't we just go home tonight?" Hermione asked, a small sound of uneasiness coming through in her voice.
"The lesson is going to take an hour or so and given that it's already past nine, it would probably be easier rather than sneaking through the school at close to midnight. Headmistress McGonagall has given the three of you permission to miss your classes tomorrow so there is no need to worry about rushing. Well, I must be going myself. Good luck with your lesson." Remus gave them a nod and quickly left. Snape was standing at the entrance to the living room and immediately motioned for Draco and Hermione to follow him, leaving Harry alone.
Snape took them to the study up the stairs that Hermione recognized from when they had cleaned it out the summer before fifth year. It was the study that they had found the curtains full of doxies and it had taken them hours to finally get rid of them all. Draco and Hermione took seats opposite a large desk that was in the corner of the massive room as Snape sat behind the desk and gave them his usual snide look. After looking the students over for a moment, Snape began.
"Professor Dumbledore asked me to help the two of you establish and build your mental connections. The mind is not a very easy thing to manipulate nor is it easy to teach the mind extra perception but that is exactly what we are here to accomplish. Dumbledore was very convinced that these lessons should come very easily to the two of you but we will see about that. It will come in extremely handy for the two of you during the war. Tonight we will simply be working on your abilities to enter each others minds.
"You must both remember that the workings of the mind and reading others minds is not a task to be taken lightly. When done incorrectly, it is possible for the initiator as well as the person to who's mind you are trying to enter to receiving devastating mental injuries. It is even possible, when done incorrectly, although very rare, for a slip up to become fatal." Snape gave them both a stern look as to get across the seriousness of the task at hand.
"I assume that you have both received the Triquentra pendants. These will help you until you master your connections however once mastered, the pendants will no longer be necessary. These are tools that will aid you, which is why Dumbledore told you both that you are to wear them constantly in case a situation should arise….what is it Miss Granger?" Snape stopped, looking annoyed at being interrupted by Hermione making a small "um".
"Is it possible for this, um, connection thing still able to work without the pendants? I mean, is it still possible to get into each others minds without them?" Hermione asked quietly, looking up timidly at Snape.
"Well yes, it is possible, but given the fact that you were told to wear them at all times, that shouldn't be necessary, correct?" Snape replied, definitely annoyed at Hermione's question. Seeing the apprehensive nod from Hermione, Snape continued, rising from his seat and walking around so that he was standing directly in front of Hermione. "You did not take it off did you Miss Granger? After you were specifically told not to?"
Hermione looked over at Draco for a moment and saw that he was looking at her questionably, a slight look of irritation apparent on his pale features. She looked back up at Snape and quietly answered, awaiting the inevitable repercussion.
"Yes, sir." she answered meekly. "I wasn't thinking about it. I did not know we'd be needing them tonight."
"Miss Granger, I am honestly surprised at you. Disobeying a direct request? Or did you consider yourself too much of an insufferable know-it-all to follow directions? I suppose you will just have to work extra hard tonight then. You will not be leaving until you have successfully accomplished tonight's agenda." Smirking snidely, Snape sat back on the edge of the desk and waved his wand towards the two students, quickly turning their seats so that they were facing each other. This made Hermione even more uncomfortable and she hurriedly shifted her gaze back to Snape to await instruction.
"First thing you both need to do is relax yourselves…this includes your bodies and your minds. Make yourselves comfortable." Snape said, his tone unusual to anything that Hermione had ever in her entire school life ever heard him use. It was almost…nice. "Once your minds are empty, you need to concentrate on each other…concentrate on what the other person is thinking."
Hermione chanced a quick glance at Draco, who was lounging back in his chair, his eyes closed and his breathing deep and even, before drawing her legs up under her comfortably and closing her own eyes, leaning back in the chair to become fully comfortable. She tried to empty her mind but it took her close to ten minutes to do this because thoughts of Draco and Harry kept throwing themselves in. Finally after a long ten minutes, she was able to clear her mind and started her concentration.
She tried to focus her energy on his thoughts but instead kept focusing on him in general…the way he smelled, the way his hair felt when she ran her fingers through it, the way his eyes sparkled blue when he looked at her. She felt a small smile drifting on her lips when she was abruptly brought back to her senses by Snape's voice.
"What are you smiling about Miss Granger? You are supposed to be concentrating, not daydreaming! Try again."
They went on like this for the next hour and a half, every time Hermione felt like she was making progress, Draco's face, or even a couple times, Harry's face, would pop suddenly into her mind, breaking that concentration. She felt like it was hopeless. She had so much going on in her mind that it would just be impossible to stop thinking about it.
After being yelled at by Snape probably about 20 times, she was trying again. After about 20 minutes of trying to concentrate she heard something strange.
"Hermione?" the voice called softly. She opened her eyes and looked around the room. Draco was still sitting across from her with his eyes closed and Snape had left the room. She closed her eyes again and tried to focus on the voice.
"Can you hear me?" the voice asked. Hermione suddenly realized that the voice was inside her mind. It was Draco's voice. She closed her eyes tightly and focused all her energy on his voice.
"Yes." She thought to herself, trying as hard as she could to send the message to him. "Can you hear me?" A few moments went by and she didn't hear his voice again. She got frustrated thinking that he couldn't hear her. She'd never been beaten by anyone when it came to lessons and now Draco was doing something that she couldn't do.
"Yes I can hear you too. This is weird." Draco's voice popped back into her head. She could almost hear him laughing lightly in her mind.
"Yea it is kind of strange, in a good sort of way." Hermione answered back. "So do you think that Snape will let us go now?"
"I don't know, probably I guess." Draco replied. "Hermione? Are you alright? You've been acting weird all day."
"I'm fine, I don't want to talk about it. Or think about it either." Hermione answered sternly, opening her eyes and breaking the link. She got up from her seat hastily and rushed from the room. She really did not want to get into that topic of discussion right now. She threw herself through the door, running right smack into Snape.
"I trust that you have finished the task I gave you for this evening Miss Granger?" Snape asked, back to his normal snide tone.
"Yes, sir. Now if you don't mind I would very much like to go to sleep now." Hermione replied with a tone of irritation as she swept past Snape and ran up down to the second floor to her room, slamming the door behind her.
She threw a couple good locking spells on her door and flung herself down on the bed, determined to force herself to sleep before she ended up thinking about all the stuff that had happened in the past day. Luckily for her, the energy she exhibited during their lesson wore out her mind so she easily drifted into an uncomfortable sleep.