A/N: Okay okay, I know I'm going to get hell for this chapter and the past few but I promise this is still a Draco/Hermione fanfic! On a side note: the "tablet" that we saw briefly in Chapter 9-The Order Meeting will come into play...I PROMISE!
Oh and a quick thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, havent had nearly as many as i had hoped but given this is my first story i'm very honored that you all seem to like it. Extra special thanks to marajade64 (i hope i got your name right!) for sticking it out so far and reviewing often, it's very much appreciated! I'm leaving for the weekend and will be working on a short fic for a contest at another site so chapter 16 is going to take a little longer than normal, but please check back often!
Chapter 15: The Fire Never Dies
As the Christmas holidays approached, the couple found themselves sliding farther and farther apart. Hermione wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with her. She had chose Harry over Draco right? Then why did her heart ache just at the thought of the blonde haired Slytherin? She missed him, missed everything about him. She missed the way his eyes would change to blue when he was happy, she missed the way his hands felt as they caressed every inch of her body. The way his hair fell carelessly in his eyes when he looked down at her. The softness of his lips on hers. Hermione found herself daydreaming about him constantly, so much in fact that even her professors took note of her odd behavior. Harry noticed it as well, as much as he tried not to.
During the Heads/Prefects meeting the first week of December in the Heads common room, McGonagall announced that they were going to be holding a New Years Eve Masquerade gala this year. It was something that was done every year in the Muggle world and she thought that the students would enjoy it as well.
"The gala will be held on December 31 and it will go from 9 pm until 2 am for sixth and seventh years. Years 4 and 5 will disperse at midnight, following the reveal. First through third years will have their own small party earlier that evening, from 7pm until 10. Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, it will be your job to put together the gala for the older students. The prefects will be in charge of organizing the party for the first through third years." McGonagall told them. Hermione had mixed feelings about this idea as she looked towards Draco, who was seated on the other side of the room, his attention fixed on McGonagall.
She pointed her attention back to McGonagall as the older witch continued her instructions.
"Next weekend will be a Hogsmeade weekend in order for everyone to shop for their costumes, as well as for all of you to purchase anything extra you might need for the parties. Alright, you may all go back to your common rooms now." The prefects dispersed to their houses but McGonagall held the head boy and girl back for a moment.
"You two will not only in charge of the gala, but I think that it will be most appropriate for the two of you to go together to show the house unity. New Years is a time to put aside problems from the past year and start over. The other professors, as well as myself, have noticed a change in both of your behaviors and we all hope that you will be able to put whatever problems you two have been having aside for that evening. Goodnight." McGonagall said, then whisked herself out of the portrait hole, leaving Hermione and Draco alone in their common room.
"Um, so when do you want to get together and start planning this thing?" Hermione finally spoke up, breaking the uncomfortable silence that was always present whenever the two were alone in the same room. Draco simply shrugged, not wanting to talk to her. Hermione noticed this and walked over to where he was still sitting.
"Draco, come on. We're going to have to talk sooner or later." Hermione said softly, standing in front of him.
"Fine," Draco grumbled. "What would you like to talk about first? How about how you left me for Golden Boy? Should we start there?" His voice was growing louder, and Hermione could hear it shaking slightly.
"I thought we talked about that. I told you what I was doing and I tried to explain to you why." Hermione said, trying to keep her cool.
"Oh yea that's right. You just had to throw what we had out the window because Potter finally grew a backbone and told you he loved you right? That's bullshit Hermione and you know it! You were scared and that's why you chose him, because he was "safe"." By now, Draco was standing as well, sheer inches from Hermione and yelling at her.
"That's not true! I'm not scared, what do I have to be scared about?" Hermione shot back at him, not wanting to acknowledge that deep down she knew there was truth in his words. She watched his eyes glimmer for a moment. His lips took on that familiar smirk.
"You are scared of us. You're scared because of this…this chemistry that we have between us." He told her, his eyes focused deeply on her own, the distance between them decreasing. "You are scared because you know that what we have is more than anything you will ever have with him."
"You have no idea what you are talking about Draco. I'm with Harry because we love each other, not because he's the 'safe' choice, as you say. And what about us? What do we have? Nothing Draco we have nothing." Hermione knew she didn't really mean that, but she had to say something. She knew that he was right, but she'd never admit it. Admitting how she felt was like playing with fire and Hermione was not ready to get burned.
"Nothing? We have nothing? Really then….well tell me, my dear Hermione, have you had sex with him yet?" Draco knew they hadn't, he wasn't blind to the arguments that he'd overheard the couple having on countless occasions in the head girl's bedchambers. He had overheard at least two or three arguments, usually hearing Potter bring up that topic.
"Not that it's any of your business, Malfoy, but no we haven't. We aren't ready for that yet. What happened between you and me that night was an accident, you know it as well as I do. It was something that just happened, something that never sh…" She was cut off suddenly by Draco's lips crushing down on hers. She tried to push him off but found herself melting into the kiss.
That spark, that fire that she had felt those many months ago when they had shared their first kiss was still there, more evident than ever. She slid her hands up his arms and they found their home behind his neck, one hand running itself into his soft blond locks. His hands wound themselves instinctively around her back, pulling her body into his. She felt his tongue grazing her lips, asking for entrance. Hermione parted her lips slightly, allowing him entrance. As their tongues caressed each other and battled for dominance, she felt his hand run through her hair, grasping her head and pulling her in closer. Suddenly reality made itself known in her mind again and she quickly pushed herself back from him.
"What in the bloody hell are you doing Draco!" She backed away, out of arms reach so that he couldn't grab her again.
"Tell me you didn't feel anything! Tell me that you didn't feel that fire that we have between us! Tell me that and I swear I will leave you alone." Draco demanded, not breaking eye contact with Hermione and walking over to her. Lowering his voice again when he reached her and looking deep into her eyes he said, "Tell me that you don't love me anymore."
"I cant! I cant say that! There are you happy now? I cant tell you that because it's not true. I still love you Draco, so much that it hurts!" Hermione shouted at him, tears swelling behind her eyes. She turned around and quickly darted from the common room before he could say anything back.
Instead of retreating to her bedroom, however, Hermione darted out the portrait hole. She needed to be alone, completely alone and she knew that if she stayed in their dorm, she wouldn't be able to think with him right next door. So, wiping her cheeks free from the left-over tears that had fallen and taking a deep breath, she made her way through the now deserted corridors. Her footsteps seemed to be resonating off the stone walls as she walked aimlessly.
"Ugh, what is wrong with me? Damn, get a grip Hermione!" She said quietly out loud to herself as she walked down the Charms corridor. She glanced around momentarily to make sure no one was around to hear her yelling at herself. "This is utterly stupid. It's Draco-bloody-Malfoy for gods sake! I'm sitting here in a wonderful relationship with a person I've loved for years and I'm getting worked up over a kiss from Malfoy!" She stopped in her tracks and leaned heavily against the stone wall in frustration with herself. She was so off in her own little world that she didn't hear the slight sound of footsteps coming up the hall behind her.
"So, Granger, do you talk to yourself often or is this a trait of being part of the Golden Trio that is finally coming to the surface?" A sneering voice sounded down the hall. Hermione sprung off the wall, her wand in her hand.
"Oh, jeez, Granger, no need to resort to violence." Pansy Parkinson's face appeared out of the dark shadows of the Charms corridor.
"Parkinson, what are you doing here? It's past curfew…you know I could give you detention right?" Hermione said, trying not to show her annoyance at the slutty Slytherin's presence. Pansy just laughed her annoyingly shrill laugh at Hermione's comment.
"Whatever Granger. I'm just curious as too how insane you've gone. I mean, perhaps I'm hearing things but I could've sworn I just heard you muttering something about kissing Draco…MY Draco. But then, that cant be right, my Draco would never contaminate himself that way." Pansy sneered at the Gryffindor who was glaring daggers at her. The girls glared at each other for a few moments.
"Parkinson, if you don't remove yourself back to the dungeons where you belong this instant, I'm taking 50 points from Slytherin and giving you a weeks worth of detentions." Hermione told the black haired girl, a touch of authority in her voice. Pansy simply sneered back at her and turned to walk back down the corridor. Before she got out of sight, she turned back to Hermione momentarily.
"Oh and Granger, if I were you, I'd watch myself before I go ranting on insanely about some bullshit like kissing Draco. You never know who could overhear you." Pansy winked slyly at Hermione and continued off into the shadows.
The week following Pansy's confrontation in the Charms corridor passed rather quickly. A couple more arguments about the "sex subject" flared up between Harry and Hermione, the latest of which took place in her head girl room, with the door partially open. (Due to Harry's insanely incessant tries to get Hermione to sleep with him.) Draco hadn't returned to the dorms yet, even though it was a little past midnight already, so Hermione didn't see the harm in leaving the door open.
"Harry, come on, I said not yet." Hermione told him as they lay together on her bed one night after Quidditch practice. Hermione was lying half way on her side, her back leaning on him. Harry's arm, which had been innocently lying across her waist, had now moved slightly, allowing his hand to begin gently caressing her stomach. While his hand was trying to play its way under her shirt, his lips were leaving light, gentle kisses from her earlobe to her shoulder.
"Oh, come on 'Mione." Harry said, pleadingly, while pulling her chin towards him and pressing his lips reverently against her lips.
Caressing the side of her face, he deepened the kiss hungrily. Hermione did enjoy their kisses, even if it wasn't Draco she was kissing (she couldn't keep the 'kiss' that happened between them the week prior to this out of her mind). She leaned into him, turning herself towards him and innocently sliding her leg over his own. As they continued their kiss, Harry's hand (the one that had been caressing her stomach before she turned over towards him) slid its way from it's place on her lower back to her subtle bottom. Hermione lost herself in the kiss, not noticing that his hand was sliding back up her back and under her tank top.
Harry maneuvered himself around slightly so that he was half on top of her. Breaking away from their passionate kiss, he moved his lips (almost expertly--A/N: Harry is not a virgin by the way, at least in my story ;) ) down her jaw line, planting innocent little kisses down her neck to her tank top. Hermione sighed heavily, allowing herself to get into it. Closing her eyes and leaning her head back slightly, she felt Harry's lips move down to her bare stomach and felt his hands slowly begin pushing her shirt up, following her receding shirt up her stomach to her chest. With swift, seeker fast ability, Harry whipped her tank top over her head, allowing her golden brown curls to cascade back onto the pillow around her, revealing her subtle breasts which were covered by an almost sheer, light blue bra. Harry looked down at her lovingly , his emerald eyes sparkling as they took in every beautiful inch of her upper body before crashing his mouth down on hers again in another kiss. As their tongues battled each other hungrily, his hand wandered up her body from her bare waist to her covered breast. His lips broke away from hers again and kissed down her neck to her breasts as his hand reached around her, fumbling with her bra clasp. As Hermione felt his fingers fumbling with the clasp, something in her mind clicked suddenly.
"Harry…Harry…stop…." She breathed heavily. Harry didn't seem to hear her and continued what he was doing, kissing her nipples through the soft fabric. She found her strength and pushed him back gently but forcefully.
"Harry. Stop, please." Hermione said more pointedly now. Clasping her hands in his own as they tried to push him back, he pulled them over her head and leaned in to kiss her mouth again. She turned her head this time, struggling slightly to release herself from his grasp.
"Harry…I said no!" Hermione said again, louder and more demanding this time. She struggled her hands free from his and shoved him off of her with more power than she had intended to, causing him to almost fall off her bed.
"What the hell Hermione!" Harry yelled at her, climbing off the bed and staring at her with frustration and anger in his emerald eyes. Hermione sat up and pulled her legs over the edge of the bed so her feet were on the floor and her back was facing her boyfriend, her head lowered so that her hair fell around her face.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I just cant okay?" Hermione said quietly, trying not to cause another argument on the subject.
"No, it's not okay Hermione. I'm your boyfriend for gods sake!" Harry replied forcefully.
"So? Just because we're dating doesn't mean we have to have sex you know!" Hermione told him, standing up and turning around to face him, grabbing her top off the bed.
"I know that! But it's alright for you to shag Malfoy of all effing people but your own boyfriend isn't even allowed up your bloody shirt? That's the most screwed up logic I've ever heard in my life!" Harry spat back at her, his anger rising in his voice.
"Leave Draco out of this Harry! That has nothing to do with this!" Hermione was getting angry herself now. How dare he bring up Draco! She thought to herself.
"Nothing to do with it? Nothing to do with it! Dammit Hermione, I think he has EVERYTHING to do with it!" Harry yelled at her, coming around the bed to where she was standing, grabbing her arms. "Tell me, Hermione, do you love him? You're in love with him arent you? Is that why you wont even allow me to touch you?"
Hermione stared at Harry for a few moments, debating her response. Finally she gave up.
"Harry I think that you should leave." Hermione said quietly, not looking up at him, but pulling her arm out of his grasp.
"No. I'm not going anywhere until you answer my question 'Mione." Harry said, his voice lowering to a normal tone.
"Harry, I asked you to please just leave. I suggest you do it now before I have to remove you myself." Hermione replied flatly, grabbing her wand rapidly off the nightstand and pointing it at Harry.
Harry looked at her, not knowing what to do or say but knowing that she was serious. Finally, after about five minutes of silence, he headed towards her door.
"Fine, 'Mione. But this conversation is not over." He said intently and then walked out of her door. Hermione stood there, watching her door until she heard the portrait hole close.
As soon as she heard it close, she collapsed to the floor beside her bed, tears flooding down her cheeks. She began sobbing into her bed, her hands covering her head, still grasping her top that she had picked up off the bed. God, what is wrong with me? She cried to herself. Why cant I get him out of my head? Hermione was sobbing so hard that she didn't hear the portrait hole open and close again, or the footsteps sounding down the hallway to the bedchambers.
Draco had been trying to avoid the heads common room as much as possible, coming in late at night when he figured Hermione would already be in bed asleep. Ever since their conversation the week before after the prefect meeting when she stormed out of the dormitory, he hadn't wanted to be around her. This night however, he was surprised to enter the common room to hear soft sounds coming from her bedroom. As he walked slowly and cautiously down through the common room to the hallway heading towards the bedchambers, Draco realized that these "soft sounds" were actually sobs coming from Hermione's open door. He crept closer to their rooms, peaking into her room. Her cries had become much louder by this time but at first glance, he didn't see her anywhere. Stepping slowly into her bedroom, he finally noticed her messy hair peaking out over the edge of the bed, he could see her head shaking slightly as her sobs grew stronger.
Throwing out all his thoughts of avoiding her, he quickly crossed the room and knelt down beside her. He placed his hand gently on her back and realized that she was shirtless. He put two and two together and hoped to god that his assumptions were incorrect. After a moment, he started to rub her back gently and pushed her hair aside softly with his other hand. As soon as he did this, she jumped backwards at his touch and looked up at him.
"Hey," he said quietly. "It's just me. Whats wrong?"
Hermione looked in his eyes for a moment and then shook her head, the tears falling down her cheeks again. Draco wrapped his arms around her trembling figure, pulling her close to him and letting her cry into his chest. He knew that this had something to do with Harry.
I swear, he thought to himself, if Harry did anything to hurt her I'll kill him myself!
"'Mione, talk to me. Tell me what happened, please. Did Harry do something to you?" Draco asked softly, his hand caressing her tangled locks. He felt her shake her head. "Please don't lie to me, 'Mione. You're sitting here half naked and crying your eyes out. Did he try to force himself on you? Please you can tell me."
Hermione's sobs quieted down and she pulled away from him, her honey colored eyes full of sorrow and confusion. Draco took off his cloak that he still had on and wrapped it gently around her shoulders.
"No, he didn't force himself on me. We, well, we were getting….'intimate'," she started, not sure of how to talk about it with the only person she'd ever slept with. "I told him no and he got angry and started yelling at me."Draco just watched her intently as she replayed the night's events to him.
"He doesn't understand why I cant sleep with him. He thinks it has something to do with you….but of course that's just crazy." She said quickly, trying not to let Draco know what she was really thinking about it.
"Don't worry, 'Mione. He cant hurt you now." Draco said softly as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close again. Draco quietly vowed to himself that he would get Harry Potter for making her cry. No one makes her cry and gets away with it, he thought furiously to himself as he held her tight, rocking her gently into the night.