Disclaimer: Don't own YYH and all other characters not belonging to YYH are fictional.

And people, you seriously do not want to know how this was originally. It was the gayest little thing! Thank God I quick-edited this first!

Chapter 46: A Scuffle With A Moron

"Um..." says Jin worriedly. "You wouldn't arrest us...right?"

"I assure you, I am to arrest any suspicious looking individuals, or those who are disloyal to Sensu. His rules, not mine. Besides, didn't you hear the news this morning? He wants the human girlsbrought to him alive. And as you ate them already, you'll serve their purpose." He shrugs, and I can tell this guy can be easily swayed. He's just another stupid minion.

We all glare at Kurama. If he hadn't herded us out to look for Genkai and Botan, we might have thought up a better excuse for smelling of human!

As we watch, I notice Kurama is reaching into his hair, and Hiei is grabbing his sword, as well as Jin starting to wheel his fists very slowly, so that it only looks like a nervous reaction,for the Tornado Punch thing. I glance at them, silently persuading them not to fight. We can't fight this guy yet. He wields all the power. We just can't risk it. What if he can call up Sensu realy quick?

They glare at me, but stop preparing for war.

I start. "Oh, but why are you loyal to Sensu?" With all of the preppy barbie flair that most girls above the fourth grade consider a token of the utmost evil.

"Why---WHY AM I LOYAL TO SENSU? He's the greatest demon ever! He's slowly killing the Spirit World! Why else?" He rolls great, toadly green eyes. "You say I'm mad to follow him? Jeez, lady, the truth is that you're mad not to follw 'im!"

"But does he actually care about his guards?" This is so cliche, but it's worth a shot.

"I assume so. We haven't exactly had lunch together, butin what way are we talking about here? Oh, wait, let me get my stunner, will you come quietly?"

I ignore this. "Does he ever thank you for your duties? Rounding up human scum?"

"No, but he shouldn't have to. I'm his employee, and he doesn't need to thank me for anything."

"Don't you think that is a bit unfair?" Honey and oil makes the demon mind boil.

"Well, now that you mention it, maybe a change in the system would be in order. Although, I'm not treated badly, anyway." It tugs on its shirt collar awkwardly. "I'm going to get my stunner now! WILL YOU COME QUIETLY OR NOT?"

"I think that a well-working demon such as yourself should indeed be given more free rein. Don't you wish you were a regular citizen? At least they get rewards for their work, slaughtering...people. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Well, I suppose I could always quit...man, I must really be mad."

Out of the corner in my eye, I see Kurama whispering to Hiei with a look of awe. "Then why don't you just let us go, and continue your life in stride!It's so easy to quit!" God, I sound like one of those Beauty Salon commercials.

"Maybe I could…no, woman, believe me when I say I can't take that risk!I'd beflayed over a slow fire!"

"But you'll want to let us go after we tell you who we are!"

"Really?"

"YES!" Yells Jin suddenly."We can seriously help your legal position! Because…because we are representatives of the Underrepresented…Drooling Demons Club! So, we must get going to continue our crusade."

Kurama steps in, but Demon Face cuts him off. "How does that help me?"

"Because you are an underrepresented member...never mind. Just let us go, and you will not regret it!"

"No, I won't!" We start to leave, but he comes up behind us again."HALT!You!" He points at me."Drop the act!"

"I-I am not a human!" I say. How'd he know?

"Yes you are! The stench of human is not leaving you! If you had eaten a human it would be gone by now! Don't you try to sweet talk me, mortal bitch!"

My face feels hot. My honey talking only caused me humiliation and exposure.

At this rude comment, a huge mass of people and a whole mane of red hairjump on the space toad. In seconds, he is wrapped up in a green vine, definitely of Kurama's. He writhes hopelessly.

"Wha---why'd you guys stop killing the idiot?" I ask, looking at the guard just laying on the floor, twitching. "Don't you want him dead?"

"We're all getting a piece of this one. Demons like that." Says Kurama. "No one calls my little sister a bitch!" He smirks, and I see the Youko shining through that once pure smile.

"And no one calls my love a bitch." Says Jin. I hate him. Why does he like me? We're polar opposites. It must be the whole one is attracted-one is repelled kind of thing. Does that even exist?

"And no one calls my..." Hiei pauses, not knowing what to say. "...Friend a bitch!"

Mie says nothing, but smiles at me. "Same for me, but I don't really want a piece. I'll watch the pieces get shredded." It must be puberty. Now she's my friend again. What on earth is wrong with her?

Touya shrugs. "Hell, I'm just doing it cause everyone else is."

Good old Touya. "I love you, too." I hiss angrily. Why are they all doing this? Can't they all just admit that they only want this guy's blood?

They all count to three, and then bam...

For you to get the full feeling of this, let me ask you a riddle. What do you get when you mix Shards of Winter, Rose Whip, Tornado Fists, and some severe form of sword slashing?

A big, fat, pile of gloppy blue glop.

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A very sorry looking bunch is in the alley today. It's all of us. And believe me, we are unhappy.

Kurama speaks in a dead-sounding voice. "Let's consider what we DO know. Yusuke and Kuwabara have been captured, and probably will be tortured publicly before their soul consumption." I am not the only one who shivers. "As for Botan and Genkai, well, we have to assume that the worst has happened, and that they are dead. Or at least dying. We know they have not been captured, thus far. And...we just killed a guard, and that will not go uninvestigated. Anyone have any ideas about where to go from here?"

No one responds. He looks vaguely pained.

"In that case, I'll just have to continue my rant…again. We have to find the two that are definitely still alive, a.k.a. Yusuke and Kuwabara. In doing so, we will have to break into the castle. It shouldn't be hard, we just need a diversion, so I suggest-"

"You suggest. You suggest, Kurama, but nothing happens." Jin says dully. It doesn't sound like him at all. We are all falling under a depression. Kurama says it's the fog getting to us. I think it's the fact that we are getting nothing done, and none of us really know what to do.

"Well, if any of you would make an effort, than I could make my plans realities." Ooooh. If Kurama starts to snap, then he must be really angry. No response, and then...

"What's the point?" Mutters Touya. "This was ridiculous from the start. What did splitting up accomplish again?We only ended up losing Botan and Genkai, as well as imprisoning the Spirit Detective. We have lost our most valuable players, and there's no point in continuing without them. 'Make a diversion,' you say. What could distract some of the toughest looking guards I've ever seen? They are trained never to move, so believe me, they won't. I was a guard for a different demon lord about 40 years ago, before I became a member of the Shinobi. Believe, me, you move – you die. That's all there is."

"So, you'll just give up?"

"Yep." Says Jin softly. "Touya's right, it's pointless. Well, maybe not pointless, but the odds are so ridiculously slim that it's virtually nil."

"Look, what are you so down about?" Asks Kurama. I wonder why he's not affected.

"Everything. Lack of real food, lack of the others who are gone, lack or air, lack of real water…"

"And you call yourselves Shinobi," says Kurama disgustedly, "getting down because your tummies hurt."

"Yep." Says Jin. The sarcasm made a whistling noise as it went right over his head.

Kurama makes a snorting noise and sits down in a corner, not looking at any of us.

I wonder why I didn't defend him. I mean, he's right, as always. I should have come to his rescue. But I just get so dispirited when I look at them all. They're miserable as hell, so what's the remedy for that, Kurama? Where's the genius in you now?

I look around me, overcome by the hopelessness I sense from the others. Desperate, I drift off…

Soaring, on the back of a crow…It drops me and turns into people I trust. Lahri...Kurama...Hiei...Botan… Why is this happening?

The shadow of the crow materializes in front of me.

I look around. I'm in the alley. I stare ahead of me. It's the alley as normal as ever.

I see Genkai and Botan near me. They are whispering in dull voices to each other, and looking around, obviously confused…pointing at the palace…

The scene changes, abruptly. The background turns green. Genkai is now dressed in a chef's suit, and Botan eyes are crossed.

Botan turns into a paddle, and whacks Genkai on the side of the head, and Genkai starts hitting her with her apron...the battle continues...Genkai pulls out a knife and chops off the paddle portion of Botan...the chunk falls to the ground, motionless...Botan screams...then, a huge paddle scoops up Genkai and it turns into a ladle, and something eats Genkai in the ladle...

Botan's severed headpops up in the middle of the screen...HELP US...

Someone is slapping my face. I blink and open my eyes, making sure I'm still alive. Man, what a vivid dream!

But why did Mie wake me up? I was so close…"Mie, wha…what's up?"

"You needed to wake up." She is so insistent.

"Why?"

"You were twitching, and muttering about Genkai stop-cutting-up-the-paddle or whatever. Something wrong? Dream something?"

Innocent Mie. "No, nothing. I just…got a weird dream. It was real in the beginning, but then something happened...and it went all weird. Like, there was this paddle..."

"That's what a dream is, Kat."

I eye her. "Why are you being so nice?"

"I dunno. Mood swings, you know? You'll have to excuse them. I know I'm a baby one minute and a mature human the next, but it'll end in about 4 years."

"Great."I say sarcastically, and sit up, only to lie back down. "I think I'll go to bed."

"Fine. See you in the morning."

When she lies back down a couple of paces away from me, I contemplate the dream, trying to find it's meaning. If it even has a meaning. What on earth did the paddle have to do with anything? And since when does Genkai wear an apron? And why was she getting eaten by a doggish creature?

Was it really a premonition, or amI just so desperate to believe that they are still alive that I completely made a big deal over it?

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A/N Review again!