I don't know of this has been done before but I'll give it a shot anyways. Here's how it works. I will choose a random theme and write an alternate reality on it. Sounds weird? It's actually quite simple. For example, in this episode, I'll write about what will happen if Asuka and Kaji happened to switch bodies. By the way, don't expect anything serious. It is supposed to be a parody
All characters are the property of Gainax. So, all rights to these characters belong to them.
Without any further ado, I present to you,
Episode 1: Asuka Switches Bodies With Kaji
"All readings clear, we can commence the experiment as soon as you're ready." A pretty lady with short, brown hair commented.
"Are there any fluctuations in the pilot's A10 readings?" a blonde woman in a lab coat enquired.
"None whatsoever. We have perfect conditions. Its now or never." Was her curt reply.
It was business as usual in the Geofront. Ritsuko was working on some unfathomable experiment while Maya sat and monitored the screens. Asuka was inside a cylindrical chamber covered in LCL. Overlooking her was practically everyone in the NERV family.
Yes, everything seemed normal.
But was it? A certain blue haired albino was not in sight. However, if anyone happened to glance upwards and gaze into the air vent, they might just happen to make out the outline of a bluish green pinafore.
"I better keep this quiet. Otherwise, I'll never get my revenge." Thought the albino inside the air vent.
Although her face would never portray any feelings, she no doubt felt them as strongly as everyone else. And one person she had strong feelings for was Asuka. Not good feelings though, all she felt for her was annoyance and Rei did not like to be annoyed.
"I'll just pull this, and this and spray a bit of this over there and… done." Rei examined her handiwork with pride. Around her, wires that had been connected to the cylindrical chamber lay in shambles. Not only that, they had been sprayed with mousse.
As she crawled quietly towards the exit at the other side of NERV headquarters, Ritsuko was heard to give the command, "Switch on power to full!"
To their credit, the reserve generators came on just before widespread panic surfaced.
30 seconds prior to the accident
"Mr Kaji is so cute… I wish he'd just look at me for a moment." Asuka mused. She reckoned that if she continued gazing at him, he would eventually have no choice but to look at her. Then she would give him a wink. "Yep, how long can he just stare at the floor? I'm supposed to be the centre of attention here." She thought.
On the other hand…
"Damn, why is she looking at me like this? I've told her so many times that I won't ever like her. She's really just a little girl still. Regardless whether she graduated from university or not." Kaji groaned inwardly.
However, he was getting tired of staring at the floor and Asuka did look pretty in the bright red plug suit.
"Just a glance won't hurt right?" he reasoned with himself.
Little did he realise how wrong he would be.
As Maya pressed the button that transferred all power to the chamber Asuka was in, several things happened. Firstly, instead of Asuka being able to pilot the Evangelion from outside the robot itself (which of course was the experiment), the short circuit caused her to have ten thousand volts of electricity coursing through her body. However, instead of killing her, a strange phenomenon took place instead. Asuka's soul was driven out of her body. What's more, it entered the body of the person she last had direct eye contact with. Which turned out to be Kaji. Kaji's soul on the other hand, left his body to accommodate Asuka's (without his permission of course) and settled into the only body without a soul. The one inside the cylindrical chamber.
Imagine how they would have felt when the lights came back on again.
Kaji grabbed his head groggily, "Why am I hurting so much? It was just a blackout right?" As he tried to take a deep breathe, the smell of blood nearly caused him to gag. "What the…?" he managed to choke out. Finally, he tried opening his eyes. What greeted him nearly cause him to faint. He was inside some weird contraception that was cylindrical in shape. However, what frightened him most was to stare at his own unconscious body lying on the floor. "This is not good…" he wimpered.
When Asuka woke up, she fully expected to be greeted with huge doses of aches and pains. However, she felt relatively ok. In fact, she felt great, and somehow… stronger. When she opened her eyes, she was ready to show the entire NERV facility that even a ten thousand volt electric shock was unable to do much harm to her. But what came out instead was a shrill scream. Shrill and sustained.
The room exploded with laughter in spite of themselves. Even the stern faced commander with white gloves grinned. Seeing a fully-grown man screaming like a schoolgirl can do that.
5 hours after accident
Kaji instinctively tried stuffing 'her' hands into the side pockets of a pair of pants. Unfortunately for him, he was wearing the ridiculous yellow dress that Asuka was always wearing. As his fingers slid across smooth fabric, he heaved another sigh. "Why does it have to be me?" he muttered a silent protest to the heavens.
As a technician walked past him and winked, Kaji almost wished for an angel attack.
Unlike her romantic interest, Asuka was having the time of her life. For the umpteenth time, she walked up towards Misato and pinched her butt cheeks, watching her face grow redder and redder each time. Luckily for her, their situation had been clarified two hours ago. Ritsuko's cross-referencing proved that they had indeed switched bodies. However, ridiculous that may sound.
In a deep voice, Asuka squealed, "I still don't believe it, Kaji and I actually switched
bodies! Now, maybe I can have a chance to get closer to him."
Despite her best efforts, Misato could not keep a straight face. "Maybe you could." She said at last. "Oh and by the way, we have changed your living quarters. From now onwards, you will be staying at Kaji's place. He'll move in with me and Shinji." She continued. Seeing the confused look at the man's (or girl's depending on what you prefer) face, she explained, "Kaji has never been a girl before, he'll need extra… guidance."
"I guess… and make sure he does not do anything… unpleasant to me." Asuka finally ventured.
Misato agreed and shook her hand formally, still grinning like the Cheshire cat.
2 weeks later in an apartment in Tokyo 3
"Um… Mr Kaji…are you done?" Shinji asked the person inside the toilet. "We're late for school."
"I don't think I can go today… I'm having my…periods." A female voice replied coyly.
Shinji's face coloured significantly.
"Um… get…well soon then…" he squeaked and left hurriedly.
Inside the toilet, Kaji groaned again as another spasm of pain shot through him. "Now this sucks." He thought. "Guess this is revenge for 'exploring' my new body the past week."
In case what he said confused you. Kaji actually did many…distasteful things the previous week. He may seem like a nice guy, but deep down inside, all men are the same. He engaged in some exploration first but slowly progressed to full-blown self-loving. He enjoyed the attention that he was getting from boys as well. Being a guy himself, he knew exactly what to say to hit their sensitive spots. The only person that seemed totally unaffected by this change in Asuka's character was Shinji. But he was already in the know so that does not count. All in all, Kaji was beginning to enjoy this new body… but in a disturbing way.
In Kaji's apartment 2 weeks after the accident"I hate this… object." Asuka complained after she pissed all over the floor. "How am I supposed to aim when its so…hard?" she thought. Then, a small voice niggling inside her head told her, "you can always sit down…" Asuka hurriedly did what it suggested.
"I wonder if Mr Kaji likes me now?" she daydreamed her favourite topic once again. "After all, he cannot avoid me now that this happened can he?"
Asuka, like Kaji, was still unused to her new body. She almost had a heart attack when she woke up with an erection. And although she would never admit it, she explored her body thoroughly as well. It fascinated her to no end. From his well-defined muscles to his scruffy chin, she ran her fingers over and over them again until she felt something between her legs grow warm. Then, the 30 year-old man gave a squeak and stopped molesting himself.
After about thirty minutes of daydreaming, Asuka gave a start. Today was supposed to be her monthly period! As she walked towards the telephone to call Kaji to see if she/he was ok, she had a strange foreboding about this. As if something bad would happen. Her twitching eyelids were not helping either.
"RRRIINNGG… RRIINNGG… click… Hello? Mr Kaji? How are you feeling?" A manly voice asked over the phone.
"Urrrg… how can you endure this every month?" Kaji groaned. "I tried everything to stop it. I even stuffed tissue paper inside but the bleeding won't stop!"
Asuka's "new" eyes widened in shock.
"You WHAT!"
"Oh what I meant was I tried my best to stop the blee…CLICK!"
And before Mr Kaji had a chance to finish his sentence, Asuka was already on the way to Misato's apartment.
30 minutes later…
Asuka was ready to give Mr Kaji a tight slap upon arrival but hesitated when she saw uncertainty on her original face. However, she was still determined to give him a piece of her mind.
"HENTAI! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY STUFFING TISSUE PAPER INSIDE!"
"I uh… I was hurting badly and the bleeding just wouldn't stop. So I thought…" Kaji said sheepishly.
Asuka had to check if he actually damaged anything.
"Let me take a look."
"What?"
"I said let me take a look!" Asuka said in embarrassment.
Kaji knew that he had to comply. He coyly took of his skirt and undergarments. Then, he waited for Asuka to check. Blushing furiously all the time.
Asuka wanted this to be quick but when she saw her own body in this submissive position, she hesitated. With trembling hands, she parted Kaji's 'new' legs and took a peek. Unknown to her, her breathing became heavy and… lusty. She was shocked to find herself fully erected.
Then all hell broke loose.
Kaji gave a shrill scream and pointed behind her, motioning for Asuka to look behind her. She paled as she realised it was probably Misato or even worse, Shinji, that was behind her. Knowing how this situation would look to outsiders, Asuka knew that she was doomed to humiliation for as long as she lived.
"YOU TWO HENTAIS!" A woman's voice sounded.
So… at least it was only Misato. Or so Asuka thought.
"We better get out and leave them alone Misato…" a boy's voice said in reply.
Unfortunately for Asuka, the boy she considered a baka saw them in this compromising position as well. Unable to take it anymore, blackness soon enveloped her thirty-year-old body.
"Um… Hi?" Kaji said uncertainly.
All he got in reply was a tight slap from Misato.
Somewhere in NERVRei looked at the live feed from the pinhole camera she planted in Misato's apartment. Although she never showed her emotions, since she orchestrated this event, she was undoubtedly proud and happy of her plan. Now, encouraged by her success, she was ready to think of a new plan to make her happiness complete.
"Now how can I make Shinji fall in love with me?"
THE ENDThat's it folks! My first Eva fanfic. Hope you guys liked it. Please R&R. Otherwise, how am I going to improve? Haha.