Disclaimer: Don't own YYH. I only own Katrina Kon.

Chapter 48: Getting In

"Okay, Hiei, how do we get into the castle?" I ask urgently, still a little uncomfortable with him. I must admit, a little bit of planning on this episode wouldn't have killed me.

"I thought you had thought this all out!" He tells me with raised eyebrows.

"My thoughts exactly."

He smirks. "Well, I guess we'd better take Kurama's advice and cause a diversion. I can't believe you didn't take him."

"Oh, knowing him, they'll catch up sooner or later."

"Why didn't you take him?" He presses.

"Because he was mad! I didn't need a snooty angry smart ass coming along for the ride."

"Then why didn't you take me?"

"Hiei, stop it! Can we focus?"

"Just this question. Why?"

"Who cares why?"

"Why?" He asks again.

"I told you. I wanted to do it on my own, okay? So what's the diversion? I'm quite eager to get out of this rat infested heap of junk." It's true. We are in the back of a dumpster overlooking the castle. I came here all ready to get in and we still are planning! We have been, for an hour! It must be three in the morning by now!

"Katrina, do you even know what a diversion is?"

"Of course! I just want to know how we do it!"

"Definition, please."

"Why? Don't you know it?"

"No, I'm just making sure."

He's starting to tick me off. "It's a distraction. I'm telling you, I know everything. I'm a whiz at English and Jap."

"Okay then, O Know-It-All-Of-English. What's an anesthesiologist?"

"What's a what?"

"An anesthesiologist."

"Anasi…anest…"

"Gesundheit."

I glare. "What does that mean? First anashiolojist and now geshundheight?"

"Haha. So she doesn't know everything. You even pronounced it wrong."

Damn, now I'll wonder about that forever! "What does it mean, then?"

"Gesundheit means…it means…damn, I used to know this…"

"You don't even know?"

"I used to."

"You are asking me the definition of something you don't even know?"

"Well…"

"Why are you like this? Are you on something?"

"Other than a heap of crud, no." He gestures to the stuff he's sitting on.

"Sheesh, how stupid are you? It means are you on a drug!"

"Like, crack? I tried it, but it tasted bad and my nose caught flame."

"You're not supposed to eat crack! You snort it!"

"I know. My nose caught fire, remember? But I initially thought that it was a whitish rock candy, which I love--"

"Forget I asked. What food did you eat last night?"

"Dried meat. Everyone ate dry meat. I hate dry meat very much. It is beef-flavored cardboard."

"Anything on the cardboard?"

"Other than some bits of green leaves,some sort of spice,which Mie told me was parsley…"

"How'd you get parsley, of all things?"

"Mie gave it to me."

"Go Mie. She gets a TEN for romance.That was quite an unusual way to express her feelings. Give your love an herb and he'll fall for you. Why haven't I heard that before?"

"It actually made me happy, eating it. Kind of like the crack. Only that was a very mixed feeling. I felt happy, but my nose was burning, so that ruined it..."

"Uh, Hiei, is that why your nose is shaped like a dagger?"

He feels his nose. "It is not shaped like a dagger! I just said that the parsley gave me a - as humans put it - high."

"O…kay then. No more parsley for you. I was getting worried, like you had ingestedheroinweed or something."

He gives me a look like I just said I like to make out with my credit card. "Who the hell eats weeds?"

He's never going to get it. I can tell. I bite back my temper. "Oh well, what's done is done. Back to the diversion, since you are the one with the super-human speed, I think you should challenge the guards. I'll sneak in."

"No, come on. Remember that the guards can't ever move?"

"Yes. Unless someone tries to get into the inside! Don't you get it? That's the diversion! The whole point is for you to sneak in, or attempt to, and get into a violent scuffle with the guards. That way, I'll get in around, and when I'm through…well, I'll call you on the Commir when I'm through. Then you can come in also."

"Tch. You make it sound almost reasonable."

"Well, why wouldn't it be?"

"It just seems flaky. For one thing, we'll be separated."

"Well, you're strong, you can hold them off, right?" Just play with his pride and it's a done deal.

"I guess. But---"

"No buts! GO!"

He rolls his eyes grudgingly, and jumps out of the dumpster. I watch as he almost lazily saunters up to the steps and tries to get in, when he is stopped by a huge shape that must be a guard, and begins arguing furiously with him. I watch, because there has to be fighting before I can reveal myself.

To my utter stunned amazement, the guard nods his head, and admits Hiei through. That wasn't supposed to happen!

I few second later Hiei calls me. I switch on my Commir, and I see a priceless sight. Hiei, in imitation of me, has arranged his black hair like mine, and is playing with it like a prep girl. There is a lot of light on his end, so I can tell.

"Hiei, I'm in! Now's your time to kill those icky guards!" He mimics.

"...Shut up.How did you get in? What did you say?"

"Hiei, I'm ready for you to kill them now! Now! Now! NOW!"

"SHUT UP!"

Finally bored, he rearranges his hair back to normal, and turns all business-like. "See, that was the but I was saying before you cut me off. I would have said that I have some friends here; you know I used to be a criminal, and that guard happened to be an ex-friend. He was still friendly though."

"You used to be a criminal?" A criminal kissed me? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Yes, of course, as did Kurama."

"KURAMA KISSED YOU?" I'm dying. Dying dying dying...how could that have happened? Is Hiei...(gasp) a bi?

"NO, you baka ningen! God! I meant that he was a criminal, like me! But he is a bisexual."

I pause for a second. "WHAT?" Oh, so I can't take one without the other, eh?

"Yes, sadly."

OMG. I can't deal with this. I instead revert to the other shocker.

"Oh wait. He told me he was a thief before he became human. I remember now. But is Suuichi a criminal? You know, my red haired brother?"

"Not that I know of. He's the nicest guy I know, even if he is a bi."

"Shut up. You must be lying."

"Nope."

Whatever. I refuse to believe him."Why did you reform?"

"From a criminal, or from a bi?"

"But you're not a bi, right?" I ask in a strangled voice.

"Katrina, please. I'm just cracking your shell, and your mind while I'm at it." He pauses and thinks for a moment. "Hm. I dunno what did it. Maybe I am not really reformed. As a matter of fact, look at that shiny thing over there…"

"HIEI!" I yell, but he has switched off. Damn! I'm pretty sure he's just breaking my shell, but what if he's not?

Okay, I guess it's time for me to pull a Hiei. I jump out like him, but then stop. Hiei said he only got through because he knew the guy personally, so I won't have the same good fortune. I guess my best bet is to act like I'm a friend of Hiei's. Which I am, in some twisted, weird way.

I swagger up like Hiei, and attempt to go through too. The same guard stops me.

"What is your business, O hooded stranger?"

"My business is…my business is…is…I'm a friend of Hiei's."

"Your business is telling me you are a friend of Hiei's?" He asks. This demon is surprisingly clean, and not oozing any weird pus, and he's well spoken, and a complexion like mine. He could be human if not for his stretched-out head and four arms and huge body.Undoubtedly a failure demon.

"No, that is not my business, well, that is, I am telling you I am Hiei's friend because I came late and was supposed to come with him."

"Why'd you come late?"

"Why is it your business?" I ask, annoyed.

"It's my business to protect Sensu."

"Like he needs protecting. He has too much business with his guards."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, take off your robe; I need to check it for "confiscate items." So, lemme check your pockets. This is my business, demon, move it!"

"Why this new security measure in your business?" Why does he like that word so much?

"Because some human girl rescued that human decoy and came out alive, and Sensu thinks it was due to new tech. So empty them out and let's see."

I'm glad he forgot about taking it off completely, though this isn't much of an improvement. I'm going to have to show him my Commir, and I really will need that later. Why do I always get into these conversations with guards? "Well, erm, that's the thing, well, gee, I really…it is against the custom of my people to search others."

"NO search, NO entry."

Damn. What do I do now? Where is Hiei?

PLEASE TELL ME THAT I TAKE PRIORITY OVER A SHINY THING!

55555555555

A/N Short, but too bad. It makes up for the length of the last chapter. What was that last one, 7 pages?R and R!