Disclaimer: Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, I only claim onto the fictional character Katrina Kon and the storyline. And thanks to all of my signed reviewers, like RebelWriter, Weird0, smiles4100, RoseMaiden, so on, and Myself. Hehe.
Chapter 49: Alice in Wonderland
Why do guards ALWAYS freaking hate me? "I told you, I'm a friend of Hiei's! You have to let me in if we're to be friends!"
"Number 1, we aren't friends. Number 2, Hiei never mentioned you."
"I'm a recent friend, all right?"
"What sort of friend?"
All right, now we're getting somewhere! "Simply a close friend. I am a very rich upperclassman dude."
"How close?"
"What's it to you what type of friend?"
"Ah, I see. You're that type."
"I'm what type?"
"Aw, c'mon, you must know what type you are."
"What type?" I ask again, totally nonplussed.
"You're his girlfriend type, aren't you?"
Thank god he can't see my blush under this hood. "No, I'm a different type." I say quickly, in my best of-course-not voice.
"Really? You seem like his type. You hide your face and you don't answer straight questions. If you are, you really have found yourself a soul mate."
"I'll definitely look into that." I mutter under my breath. This is getting a little personal. Why does it matter anyway? "Okay, first of all, I do not plan on marrying anyone, particularly not Hiei. And secondly, are we going to chat, or are going to grant me passage?"
He hardens again. "I just have no proof that you are who you're telling me you are, so, sorry, kiddy, but you gotta wait for your friend to come back and show me." He grins meanly, thoroughly enjoying himself. Glad at least he's amused.
On a sudden impulse, I shout "HEY LOOK, IT'S SPIDERMAN!" I point behind him.
The cop rolls his eyes. "Nice try."
I try again. "AHHHH! YUSUKE URAMESHI IS ABOUT TO KICK YOUR BUTT!"
"Heard that one, too. And he's in jail."
One more time. "Then what is that dark shape I see?"
He sighs. "I've been telling people all week, that's the newtorture chamber." He spins around and points. "See, that's the door with the skeleton of a demon on his last few minutes of his life..."
And I thought he was smart, too. Behind him, I start to edge away towards the now unguarded door.
"...Specially ordered by Sensu himself. He has very fine taste in door ornaments. Now, I have no idea how you picked Yusuke out of that picture, he looks kind of human...and that guy is distinctly purple..."
Another, smarter guard sees me and runs towards me. Using this moment, I charge inside for all I am worth. Behind me, I hear an anguished cry of "WHAT--" And another demon yells at him. Seconds later, feet pound the floor after me.
I run into the bright lobby, cast a quick glance for Hiei, and find none, nor do I see a shiny thing that distracted him. Hoping to find cover, I charge down the hallway where I went to the slaughter room to rescue Lahri, all those ice ages ago. I can't risk going in there, with all of the bounty hunters and all. Even with my hood, the guards will surely search there and find me. Instead, I duck inside a dark room where the door is slightly ajar. I hold my breath as I go inside, in case I walked into a place with twenty noxious gases just waiting to kill me.
To my relief, when I feel around with my fingertips, I can tell it's a broom closet, only with many strange bottled liquids and pills instead of floor detergent. Oh well. Better a chemical closet than getting caught.
I shut the door hurriedly, and listen carefully for any movement outside. I hear none, and that's a real relief. After several minutes of intense waiting and breath-holding, and the chemical closet is now getting really hot, I open the door cautiously, and I see light. Perfect. I don't see any shadows. And then...
"LOOK! IN THE CLOSET!"
Shit. I try to shut the door, but a pale arm is thrust there in time.I soon peek right into the face of the guard I tricked. I take in his ugliness. The overlarge head looks a lot scarier all of a sudden, and the only thing that makes him look alive are his eyes. Currently gleaming with triumph.
"Hellllllo there."
I screech and try to shut it again to snap his arm,but another arm blocks the way. Damn it! I try to force the door, but the hairy arm, which is very spongy, is only minorly squeezed. Major damn it!
Out of options. I seize one of the nearest potions, a fizzing purple beverage, and drink it in a hurry. One of these has to help! Maybe it can give me laser vision! Or--or--
The next moment, time seems to stop for a second, in which I feel a rapid shrinking sensation. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. This can't be what I think it is!
Inches from my face, the appendage suddenly raises very quickly. Oh boy. Now what's going on? The door is shut far enough so that I can't really see. But there are lots of ledges speeding past me...
Even more strangely, the tentacle is taking more swipes at me, still missing. Maybe the potion gave me a shield or something. But why is the guard so much bigger?
If this is what I think it is...
Another guard runs onto the scene. I charge under a large ledge. No way will I be able to fend off two of them. "C'mon, Maurice! Haven't you found her?"
"She was right here!" He says furiously. "She took a draught from a bottle, and disappeared!"
Wait, I what?
"Sure, sure. Maurice, I thought we agreed that we didn't want to make Uncle Tim put you in the white room again, am I right? Now what do you do? You screw up again! You're going to the ward again, for a mind straining session. We're doing multiplacation tables. That'll be a nice punishment. Imbecile! Now what do we do, huh? My God, consider doing math an easy punishment, too..."
Maurice tries to persuade his pal some more, but to no avail. Muttering darkly about math, Maurice casts a dark look as he follows his co-worker out.
I simply can't believe it. I've just come to grips with what I've just done. I am as big as that stupid toy twit Polly Pocket. I've shrunk down to the size of my hand, at least judging by the bottom of the shelf, which I originally thought was a ledge. Stupid! Why did I drink that juice? How'm I ever going to get changed back? I feel like stupid little Alice in Wonderland; the little moron drank or ate from anything that asked her to! What if it had been arsenic? Would she have eaten that? But of course, that was her stupid little dream, whereas I'm in real life, which makes it even more humiliating. You are supposed to do stupid things in dreams! Not in real life where demons run amok!
Oh wait. There's that bottle I dropped, lying in the middle of the stream of light from the door. I walk over. I can make out some vague shapes. Apparently, Japanese demons do write in Japanese.The label reads:
USE: TO BE ABLE TO SHRINK ONE. THE MORE INGESTED, THE MORE SHRINKING WILL OCCUR.
Then, in fine print, reads "Side effects may include itching on the left ear, oozing on the wrists, bleeding out of the right foot, reduction of the intestines, swollen tentacles, overlarge big toes, and possible permanent paralysis of the left nostril."
Oh my God. What have I done?
I look up at all the many rows of potions above me. I have to find a growth potion. I have to think logically. If there was a shrink potion, there must be a reverse.
I climb up the shelf, on the ornamental metal holes that line it. It really looks easy, so I try it, figuring what do I have to lose anyway? Idid notcome hereto be rodent food!
But it really is harder than it looks. Trying to find footholds in a straight line can be rather challenging, and while I'm somewhat athletic, I never got into rock-climbing, nor was I very good at it either. This time it's mandatory, so I guess I will have to learn to like it if I ever want to get back to normal size again.
OW! I twisted my damn elbow! Fine time to! It's going to swell even more with that stupid side effect...
OW! Skinned my wrists. Going to start oozing any second...
OW! OW OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
MY TOE! THAT WILL PROBABLY ENLARGE OUT OF BOTH SWELLING AND THAT STUPID SERUM!
Oh my God. If my left nostril starts to freeze up, I'll throw myself down to my death.
Here we are! I have finally ascended to the next level of shelf. The lowest level of potions! I guess I have to read each and every label.
I stare at the big writing on the first one.
Poison. No.
Bad breath. No.
Disease. No.
God, how long will this take? Rotting. Definitely not.
I go through several hundred more, it seems, until finally, on the very top shelf, some sort of strange gibberish, but I recognize the word RAISE.
This is what I need...I hope! I reach for it, and then, of course, someone opens the door.
"Where is that growing pill? Maurice shrunk himself again, the moron! Man, anything to get out of multiplacation! Let me see, let me see…yes there it is!" It's that same demon who carried Maurice out to the math ward, as he called it. "How in earth...why on earth would make him want to do something like that? Why did he smuggle in more pills? Ugh, we've got to get him replaced, my nephew or not..."
He grabs my bottle. The one I'm clinging to. He does not seem to notice me. He just holds it by the lid for his friend. I hold onto the bottom for my life.
As we start to move, I dangle over the ground, helpless, trying not to fall. Could this day possibly get any worse?
55555555555555
A/N Thanks for reviewing everyone! Like this change of tactics? And this is just the beginning...cuz we still got 15 more chapters! Review them all or die! Have a good life until then!