A/N- Final chapter of the novel- we'll be moving on to the second episode soon enough. This chapter has more action than most, whee!
PippinDuck- You're welcome- I enjoyed writing it!
Korean Pearl- I'm glad you liked that line! (I can take credit for that one ;-) ) And this Leap actually never happened on-screen- these three chapters are from a novel based on the TV series, and I've taken it as canon. The whole chapter's dialogue occurred in the novel, but the scene was written from Sam's POV, so I felt free to re-write it from Alia's perspective and show why she might have said what she did.
Disclaimer- The dialogue from this chapter (except for Zoey's near the end) does not belong to me. It belongs to Melanie Rawn, author of Knights of the Morningstar.
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Chapter 12- The Joust
How can you see into my eyes like open doors,
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home.
Wake me up inside, wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone,
Save me from the nothing I've become.
-Wake Me Up Inside by Evanescence
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"Hello, darling!" Zoey caroled, popping in from the future. "The court is assembling…absolutely wild with excitement, and betting ten-to-one against Sir Percy…and that ridiculous herald person is about to blow his silly lungs out on that trumpet."
"I'm almost ready," I replied, finishing my hair. "Is Lothos ready? What does he say about my plan?"
"Exactly what he's been saying ever since you proposed it: interesting, possible, but difficult."
I had come up with the plan before my talk with Sam the night before, and even Zoey admitted it was brilliant. But, as Lothos said, it would be difficult. And if it worked, I would end up facing Sam on the battlefield. Zoey and Lothos expected me to kill him then, with the help of an especially lethal weapon I had bought that morning.
Unknown to Zoey and Lothos, I had a different outcome in mind.
"What about the other problem? The aura?" I asked, trying to take my mind off of the upcoming confrontation.
"Oh, didn't I mention that earlier?" Zoey giggled. "Lothos is perfectly fascinated. He and Thames have been discussing it all night. The theory so far is that because with the present configurations you and Beckett can see each other, the opposite will probably hold true. Fix your mascara, pet. It's flaking."
"So if Sam can't see me, I won't be able to see him, either?" I frowned as I redid my make-up. "That's not what I had in mind, Zoey. That's no help at all!"
"You'll have to work with what Lothos gives you. It was tough enough convincing him to even consider this other little trick. Thames was…and still is…skeptical."
I had to admit, it was something we had never done before. Leaping into another person in the same time might prove difficulties, and what's more, could only be done as long as Sam was touching the other person. Don't ask me why, I'm no physicist. But that was how it worked.
I straightened and draped a yellow length of chiffon over my elbows. "Thames has all the imagination of a gerbil," I stated acidly. But then again, that wasn't quite true. Thames could figure out a hundred different ways to make a person wish she were dead, a talent that Lothos respected him for, and which I despised.
Zoey smirked. "My, what a generous assessment! I'd have chosen something a bit lower on the evolutionary scale."
After glancing around the tent one last time, I started for the door. "I'm ready. I hope you and Lothos are."
"Alia, darling, this…"
"Had better work," I finished. "I know. I know! Come on."
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"Why is he laughing?" Zoey hissed.
I shook me head wordlessly. I honestly had no idea. Sam had no reason to laugh; he was about to go head to head with a man probably five times as strong as he, and yet he was laughing. He even clapped Roger on the back as they approached the dais, looking as if he'd already won.
"Now?" Zoey asked.
"Not yet," I murmured. The plan depended on Sam being worn out from fighting Roger, and me being fresh. "Wait."
The two men bowed before the dais, and I made my way to stand beside the king and queen, for this fight was partially over me. I tried to catch Sam's eye, but he never even glanced my way.
"…terribly silly of them," the Queen was saying. "But I must admit it's rather exciting all the same. Frankly, my lady, I'm wondering why you let this go on."
I shrugged, and too late remembered I was supposed to be a lady addressing the queen. "With all respect, Your Majesty, do you think anything could have stopped them?"
The queen gave a rueful smile. "Proud as Lucifer, those two."
"How would she know?" Zoey asked.
"And stubborn," I added.
The queen sighed. "Well, you're right, of course. They're angry and nursing a grudge, but they're also accomplished fighters who know the rules. I'm glad they're both using shields today, though."
"At my insistence," said a brown-clad noble seated directly behind the queen. "Better they should dent steel than skulls."
The queen half-turned to nod at the man. "Very wise of you, Duncan. But I don't think we need worry overmuch. Neither will be seriously hurt, though I do anticipate quite a few bruises." She laughed. "I trust, Lord Physician, that you have your poultices and potions ready. The stinkier the better, to teach them a lesson!"
"Eh, those two need a shrink, not a surgeon." Lord Duncan snorted, and the two went on about the strangeness of character between the men and writing a novel. Then the herald blasted on his horn, and the joust began.
The two men circled each other, and tested their opponent's strengths and weaknesses. Then Sam went on the offensive, forcing Roger to heft his shield up again and again, as the crowd went wild and the king cheered. I kept my mouth shut by biting my lip, but released it because Cynthia's lipstick tasted horrible.
Zoey stepped in front of me, blocking my view. "You'd better give me plenty of warning. Lothos says it might not be instantaneous. There's a possibility that it won't work at all. Alia, darling, do you really know what you're doing?"
Did I? I wasn't quite sure, but I had to convince Zoey. I glared at her instead of speaking, and shifted to the right so I could see. I watched as the men traded blow after blow. They'd be sweaty and hot. The chain mail weighed at least forty pounds, and it had to be as hot as an oven in those suits. It was surprising they could stand, let alone fight.
"Alia!" Zoey shouted, trying to get my attention. I was focused on Sam, who had begun to falter, but was I afraid for him or afraid he would lose too soon? I couldn't be sure. "Lothos has a lock!"
About time, I thought, but said nothing. Sam would have been in a lot more trouble, but at that moment, Roger skidded on a muddy patch of grass, and his shield went flying. He lost his balance and fell. Sam, being the chivalrous person he was, threw his own shield away as well and even offered a hand to help Roger.
This was what I had been waiting for. "Yes, yes, yes," I chanted under my breath. But Roger slapped the hand away and stood on his own. They began to fight again, but slowly and sluggishly, trying to regain strength.
"Alia!" Zoey exclaimed again. "It had better be soon! Lothos can't keep this lock on forever!"
It was soon. As the fighting resumed once more, before it got too deep Sam slid within Roger's guard and grabbed his sword arm for protection. He was probably trying to convince Roger to stop the madness now and do the rational thing.
"Now!" I cried. Zoey must have anticipated it, too, because the red swirled into my vision, and I was momentarily disoriented before I found myself again- this time encased in steel and sweating like a waterfall. Sam stood in front of me, once again gaping at my appearance.
I taunted him, enjoying his confusion. "I told you, Sam…you don't dare touch anyone again." And I attacked.
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Sam blocked the blow, but just barely, and I swept in again. Zoey popped in a few feet away, grinning like an idiot, and rambling something about how flabbergasted Thames would be.
"Nice work, Zoey!" I flung in her direction, between blows. "Give Lothos my compliments!" I swung at Sam's left thigh, laughing out loud. Inwardly, I was trying to work myself up to what I knew was coming next.
He blocked the blow, and the shock of it swept up and down my arms as I readied for another strike. We parried, again, and again. He stared into my eyes through the visor.
"What're you going to do, Alia?" He gasped. "Run my through? You won't kill me. You can't kill me. Whatever it is you want, you don't want to die."
My anger flared. "I want exactly what you want, Sam…to be free." And I wasn't going to find that freedom in life.
Sam understood my unspoken meaning, and I saw the pity on his face. If Zoey saw it, and understood as well, my personal plan could not be completed… "You make me sick," I spat, "you with you're self righteous nobility…"
"Was that for Zoey's benefit?" he guessed, and I gasped, afraid.
"What are you saying, darling?" Zoey demanded. "What does he mean?"
I didn't respond to her, but rallied nonetheless, saying, "Either you kill me or I kill you!" Either way we'd both die. And I'd be free…
"No, not that way!" Sam blurted out. "Neither of us has to die, Alia! I can help you, I know I can…"
"Alia," Zoey said dangerously, "I know what you're thinking. He's wrong! Do you remember what happened last time? Or are you still too weak to get the job done?"
"Stay out of this!" I cried. "I can take him!"
"Alia! Don't listen to her! Look at me, let me help you…"
But I barely heard him. I vaguely heard Zoey saying in the background, "Now, Lothos! Now!" And some of the holes in my brain were filled in.
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'Alia, I have a wonderful job now! You'll never guess who hired me. I can't believe I'm going to be working on this! Time-travel!'
'That's…that's amazing Renee! Who are you working for? Who's in charge?'
'It's a government Project, called Quantum Leap. I'm amazingly lucky to have been even considered for it. I'm going to be working on some of the less important mathematical equations.'
'Who did you say was in charge?'
'Oh, Allie, he's a genius. You must have heard of him- Doctor Samuel Beckett!'…
'Miss Heaton, I regret to inform you that all positions for this Project have been filled.'
'But…I could work as a secretary…''There just isn't any room.'…
'Zoey, dear. I'm Zoey.'
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The onslaught of emotions left me swaying with dizziness- and anger. I'm not sure I've ever felt as much hatred for one person as I did for Sam at that moment. He had started the Project that had rejected me, what had forced me to become Lothos' pawn, he had done this to me…and I would make him pay. I would kill him.
Red seeped into my vision, red that was deeper and more terrifying than the sensation of Leaping, because if came from inside myself. I forgot where I was or what I was doing, I only knew that the creature in front of me had caused me pain and I would kill it for that. I parried and slashed and thrust with more strength then I had ever known I had. I gave ground, and my prey gave up ground, until we were near the fence. I lunged and the prey dodged, but knocked into the fence doing so.
Through my fury I heard a woman's voice calling, "Alia! The Morningstar! Use it now!"
The Morningstar? Yes. The weapon I had bought earlier.
I forced myself to will the redness away, to regain control- this was not the time or place for bloodlust. One mistake, and Sam would win. One mistake, and I would be in Lothos' and Zoey's power forever.
I let Sam knock my sword away and dove under the fence, grabbing the Morningstar I had placed there. Taking a breath, I smiled. "I bought you a present this morning, Sam."
I raised myself up to my knees and whirled the weapon over my head, faster and faster. I brought it down towards Sam's knee, and he barely dodged in time. The weapon struck the fence and splintered it.
"Nice moves, Alia!" Zoey crowed.
But I had meant to miss. I had a plan that Zoey didn't know, that Lothos didn't know. I was sick of them controlling everything in my life. I couldn't go on like this anymore, trapped in time, killing people… I wanted to die.
And I wanted to choose the manner of my death.
I would make Sam believe he was in mortal danger, and he would have to kill me to save himself. It would be poetic justice, I supposed. The man who had lead me down this path would end my life. I was too crazed and blind then to see the truth.
I jerked the Morningstar out of the fence and whirled it again, but then Sam got smart. He thrust the sword…not at me, but at the chain that held the Morningstar. At the same time he lashed out with his foot, kicking the arm that clutched the weapon. I shrieked from the pain and dropped the Morningstar as I collapsed.
Crazed with fear, frustration and pain, I groped for the weapon as Sam thrust himself on me, trying desperately to hold me down.
"Stop it, Alia! It's over!" he shouted. He managed to roll over and pin me underneath him, although I struck at him time and again.
I writhed, trying to get out of his grip. "You'll have to kill me to make it stop, Sam!" I screamed.
"Alia!" Zoey cried, horrified.
"That's not the way out!" Sam insisted.
"It's the only way! If I die, I'm free…because you'll stay here and never Leap again! That's why I did it, Zoey…" A lie. I had no idea how Sam's Leaps worked. And certainly my death would mean a triumph for him…wouldn't it? It would be better for Zoey to believe me a hero for her instead of suicidal, though why I cared I couldn't say.
"Alia, I can help you! Listen to me!"
"You're a fool, Alia, if you think you can fool Lothos with that lie," Zoey snarled. "You are much too valuable for death. And you have failed once again!"
Fear spurted through me and I tried desperately to redeem myself, I grasped Sam's throat and began to throttle him. He choked, gasping for breath, but I wouldn't let him have it. Maybe he would end up dead, or someone would come and kill me for trying to kill him…I didn't know. I just needed to do something. Anything.
"Phillip!" Someone cried, and before I knew it I was knocked to the ground, gasping for breath.
Sam pulled my helmet off, and in a daze I heard him send Cynthia for a doctor.
I lay on the ground, unable to move. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to. Please, just let me rest, just a few more moments of peace before the world exploded. The sky was dazzlingly blue… why had I never taken the time to look at the sky before?
Sam bent over me, concerned. He was blocking the sky. That frustrated me, but there was nothing I could do. Please, Sam, if you ever cared for me at all, you'd free me now. Death here, underneath the blue sky… it's all I ask for. All I want. Free me.
But I knew he wouldn't. He wouldn't, because he believed there was always a solution, always a way to make a happy ending. He wouldn't because we were too alike, and yet not alike… he couldn't kill himself any more than I had been able to. He wouldn't.
I swallowed a few times before I could talk. "Sam?"
"Here, Alia." He cleared his throat. "I'm here."
He stared down at me, and I felt that maybe he saw into my soul. I sank back onto the grass. Lothos would kill me now. I was sure of it. But I no longer feared death.
"Idiot!" Zoey spat as she punched the hand-link furiously. "How could you think he would kill you? Him, in all his noble self-righteousness?"
I ignored her. "Stupid," I whispered. "Should've known. I can't even die."
"How could you ever think I'd kill you?" Sam asked incredulously.
I gave a half-smile. "That's what Zoey just said. I'm sorry, Sam."
"You don't have to die to be free of Lothos, Alia. There's another way. There has to be." He sounded so convinced. But even those who had convinced themselves could be wrong.
"That's something Zoey would never say." I became serious, as I heard Zoey yelling in the background, calling for Lothos to pull me out. Zoey would never understand. But Sam might. "Do you understand? Do you know why, Sam?"
"Yes," he nodded. And I could see it in his eyes. He understood. That reminded me of something.
I reached up to touch his face, and smiled. "Sam? Your eyes…they're green."
He blinked away the tears. "Yours…yours are blue, Alia. And beautiful…"
I remained smiling even when I felt the redness seeping over me, and my master claimed me once again.