A/N- I like this chapter because it gives me the chance to write from 'another' character's POV. It's written as if Angel were really the person experiencing everything. Everyone, remember that 'Angel' sees Sam as Liz now.
PippinDuck- Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Here's more…
TesubCalle- I can't wait for them to come out on DVD too. I have them on VHS, but there are all these commercials between them, which is very frustrating.
Korean Pearl- Not exactly free yet, as you'll see in the next chapter… As for what the guard said about rights, that was part of the original episode. I'm not quite sure why they put that in there, but I think it might be supposed to tell you something about the prison. It's not exactly a lawful place- the warden, who is a man, sleeps with the most attractive prisoners, and accuses them when something goes wrong. Really, at Mallard, prisoners do not have rights. At least, I think that's the point they were trying to make.
Disclaimer- All the dialogue belongs to Belisarius Productions and Don Belisario.
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Chapter 17- Angel
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand faces,
And none of them are me.
-From 'Please Hear What I'm Not Saying'
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Drowsily I opened my eyes. I was in a broom closet with Liz…how did I get here? Suddenly, Sophie flung open the door. "All right, tea-time's over. Get out here!"
She shoved me into the corridor just before Meyer's office…what was I doing here? What happened? I couldn't remember… She shoved Liz as well.
Vivian looked up from her desk. "He's off the phone. You first," She gestured to Sophie.
"Jenson and Tate, sit," Sophie said pointedly before going in.
As the door closed, Vivian got up. "How long you been in here, Tate?" She asked.
"Ah," Liz hesitated. "Three years."
"Then you should have known enough not to mess with Benning!"
"Benning..." Liz muttered, turning away.
Vivian came closer to me. "I understand what you went through when they put you in that box. I couldn't take it either. But I can't help you, not this time."
The box…I remembered something.
"Carol told you the truth," I told Liz.
"Told me what?"
I searched my mind frantically, but I couldn't think of anything…what was going on? "I can't remember."
"Well, if you didn't do it, tell 'em who did and walk away," Vivian suggested. "Don't let them put you back in there!"
But I couldn't remember who did it, or what Carol said…I could remember the box. The solid, concrete block of space that held me in and admitted no light…no! Don't think about that!
Sophie stepped out of the office then. "Well, come on ladies. It's show-time."
I glanced at Liz, frightened. I did not want to see Meyers. I hadn't done anything wrong, not this time, I just didn't know who did! But Liz was glancing at the wall again, so I turned and entered the office by myself. After a minute, Liz followed.
We found Meyers examining his reflection in the mirror. Silently, we waited for the blow, which was sure to come.
"Well?" asked Meyers finally.
"Well what?" Liz feigned ignorance.
Meyers chuckled and strolled back over to us. "Oh, don't get smart. Smart-mouthed people bore me. And when I get bored, I get angry. And trust me, you don't want to make me angry."
Meyers strolled back around his desk and turned around to face us. Don't say anything; don't say anything, I chanted to myself. Let Liz do the talking. She knows what she's doing.
"I'm waiting." Meyers glanced at us impatiently.
I folded under his stare and said, "I can't remember anything." Now please, just leave me alone!
Liz hurried to defend me. "She's confused from all the time in isolation. We just need a little more time, that's all." I groaned inwardly. We didn't need more time; if she said that, Meyers would pus us back in the box!
"You haven't answered my question," Meyers said pointedly. After a pause, he said, "Since she's drawn a blank, why don't you tell me why we're all here."
"Look, we didn't kill Carol Benning. You gotta believe that," Liz stated. As if Meyers would believe us.
"Really? Then who did?"
I swallowed, speaking up again. "I don't know."
"Neither one of us knows," Liz clarified.
"You're not making this easy," Meyers grumbled.
There was a long pause, and I wondered if after all Meyers was considering letting us go.
"Look, if we knew anything, we'd tell you."
Meyers considered that, then leaned down to the com and said, "I need someone in here."
The door opened behind us, and my heart sank. It was Miss Sophie again.
"Our guests here don't seem to know anything," Meyers informed her.
Sophie laughed in astonishment. "Hah! That's a crock! Fiddler was cleaning the toilets when Liz and Angel dragged Carol in there. Now, Fiddler couldn't hear what they were saying cause that little accident last spring blew out her ears, but she saw Carol all bent over. Next thing she knew these two ran out and left her there, dead on the floor in a pool of blood."
Meyers glanced at a file. "Autopsy says she was stabbed."
"That's right."
He glared at us full in the face. "Which one of you did it?"
"We didn't," stated Liz.
"So Fiddler's a liar?" asked Sophie.
Meyers stood up from his desk suddenly. "I want to talk to Fiddler." He walked slowly around the desk and got in Liz's face. "My friends here aren't being very cooperative."
"Maybe I pulled them out of the cooler too soon," said Sophie with relish. The faint stirrings of fear churned in my stomach.
"Maybe you did. Perhaps you'd better escort them back."
I opened my mouth wide, my body trembling in terror! No!
"I'm sure a few more dies in isolation will help them remember."
I took a step backward. "I don't want to go back in there!"
"She's got a bad case of claustrophobia," I heard Sophie explain through the blood pounding in my ears. "We practically had to knock her out to get her in there."
I tried to say no, but my throat would form the words. Gulping for air, I backed away further. "I can't go back in there! No, no!" Let me out! Oh please Daddy, let me out!
Liz rushed to me, to comfort me. A red haze of panic engulfed me, and I fought to remain conscious. Liz turned back to Meyers then. "Warden, listen. If you make us go back in a small, dark space again, thinking about something we don't know anything about, it's not going to do any one of us any good. But if you let us go back into the cell, we can be with the other inmates, and maybe we could find out what happened."
I whimpered in fear and pain. Meyers would send us back, I would be returned to my torment! No!
"Why should I?" Meyers demanded.
"Because if you put us back in that box, we won't be able to find out anything. Angel and I will end up taking the rap."
"The rap?" The warden questioned. "Haha! How perfectly forties." He meandered back around his desk and sat down. "Because nobody wants to rat to the warden?"
"Exactly!" Liz exclaimed. "But they might talk to us."
Meyers considered this for a moment. 'You go back to C-block," he said to Liz. I gulped. "And you go back in the box."
I tried to protest, but the fear overwhelmed me. It sounded like an animal was squealing somewhere in the room; then I realized that was my voice doing the whining. "No!"
"Take Angel back to the cooler," Meyers instructed Sophie. She moved towards me gladly.
"No!" I struggled, hit out as hard as I could. Anything, anything, only don't put me back in that box! Liz pushed Sophie out of the way and held my arms. I squirmed, tried to escape from her well-meaning help. "You don't understand! I'm claustrophobic!"
The red haze engulfed me again, and I couldn't see anything but my father's leering face as he hit me, again and again, and locked me away in that tight little room. "No! No!"
"Listen to me!" Liz shouted over the voices of the guards, asking me to calm down. "Go to the mountain! Stay on the mountain, I'll be there as soon as I can."
"No!" I shrieked. I cried, I pleaded, I screamed, but it did no good. It never did.
They locked me away to die.
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The door clanged behind me with finality. I was trapped. Trapped! There was no way out!
I ran to the door, hoping they hadn't locked it. Hoping…
It was locked.
"No!" I shrieked, tears streaming down my face. "No! No! It wasn't me!"
The darkness clutched at me. Its icy fingers surrounded me; the walls hemmed me in.
Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage. My own mind was the prison here.
The walls were closing in! Surrounding me, they would come closer and closer, until I was smashed between them, without ever seeing light again. No!
I rolled myself into a ball to protect myself from the walls, from the darkness. "It wasn't me!" I wailed, tears flowing freely. "It wasn't me!"
An eternity passed before the door was flung open. Would they let me out? I scrambled up, rushing for the door. "Let me out!"
Sophie slapped me. "Shut up," she snarled. "If you won't calm down, we'll make you."
I struggled again, but they were stronger. They clutched at my arms, forcing them open, and chained them to the wall. They chained my legs up too, and shut the door again.
"No!" I shrieked, trying desperately to break free. I flung myself away from the wall, but the chains dragged me back. The cold hard steel chilled me. I couldn't break free! I couldn't even try to protect myself from the walls or the darkness! As it crushed the life out of me, all I could do was wail in despair.
"Somebody, please help me! Anybody! Please! Help…"
My cries echoed back at me from the walls, hurting my ears, and I was afraid. I slammed myself away from the wall, again and again, but each time I was forced backwards. Despair washed over me.
Another long, horrible period of time went by until door was open again, and this time Liz came in. I wept with relief. Liz ripped the chains off, and I pressed myself against her, sobbing. She helped me outside, murmuring soothingly. Outside!
Vivian continued to argue with Masterson, who was complaining they shouldn't have let me out. I didn't care. Liz was with me, and she would make everything better. She would sooth the pain away.
"Don't make me go back," I begged her, hugging her tightly. "Don't make me go back."
"Shhhh," She soothed. "Shhhh. It will all be okay."
I cried myself out in her arms.
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When I could talk again, I sniffed and smiled gratefully at Liz. "Thanks."
"Sure," she said, rubbing my back so I knew she was still there and she wouldn't go away.
But there was still something bothering me. Why couldn't I remember anything? I remembered a little bit, yes, but it was as if I had watched every memory on a TV screen. I knew what had happened, but it hadn't really affected me.
"Liz?"
"Huh?"
"What's…what's happening to me?"
"Your mind is still Swiss-cheesed from the…from the confinement."
I looked at her in confusion. "What?"
"Big pieces of your memory are missing," she explained. "If you imagine a hunk of Swiss cheese, right? The big holes could represent things like, like your mother, your father, or your name or something like that, and the little holes could represent simple little things…"
"No, its more, Liz," I told her with conviction, panic beginning to rise within me again. "It's like I'm living someone else's life! Every memory I have, its not, its not my life!"
Liz urged me to calm down. "I know."
"I mean, this is insane!" I exclaimed, hoping she could help me.
"I know none of this makes any sense to you right now, but everything you're feeling is real. It's all the truth. You've got to trust me. Stay where you are right now, stay in that place until I can figure a way to get you out of here. Okay?"
I took a deep breath, meant to calm me, but it didn't.
"Angel, I need you to remember everything you can about Angel's life. Okay? Everything about the day that Carol Benning died. Right? She came to you and she was hurt and bleeding and she wanted your help. You gotta remember!"
I racked my brains, but the memory twisted out of my grasp. I wondered why Liz needed me to tell her what happened; after all, she had been there too.
"She was afraid," I said at last.
"Afraid of what?"
"I can't remember!"
"Try! Just try."
The memory seeped closer to me, and I said, "Well, Meyers was angry at her because she was…"
Masterson's loud voice interrupted me and the thought fled. "Get up! I said get up!"
Liz pulled me to my feet as Vivian rushed in. "Meyers is on a rampage. You didn't tell me he was expecting you! You didn't tell me you were going under!"
"Going under?" Liz asked, unsure.
"Everyone knows what going under means," snapped Masterson. "Now get back in the box!"
"No!" I shrieked, and clutched at Liz.
"She can't go back in there," Liz said to Masterson.
"You must be stupid and crazy."
"Look, if you put her in there it'll kill her."
"If she doesn't get back in that box I'll kill her myself!" Masterson shouted, shoving Liz, trying to get at me. I backed away, afraid. Please, help me! Don't put me back in there, please…
"Wait!" Vivian said. "I'll take her down to the old transfer tunnels."
"You can't take her down there! Meyers will skin you alive!"
"I don't know how long I can keep you down there but at least it's not that box. Come one!" She shouted, tugging me with her.
"No!" I said, and clutched at Liz. Liz would protect me!
"What are you doing?" Masterson yelled.
Liz brought me close. "Look, it's the only choice you've got."
"Well, you better hurry up and do whatever it is you're gonna do," Vivian said, impatient.
"Don't be ridiculous Vivian. She's a prisoner!"
I nodded slowly. Liz would come find me later. She had to.
"Vivian…"
Liz guided me towards the door, but Masterson blocked it. "I can't let you out of here," she said.
Liz looked at her for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry about this." Then she brought up her fist and punched Masterson out, catching her before she hit the floor.
I only had a moment for shock before Vivian pulled me out of the cell and towards the transfer tunnels below.
"Go, go, go!" Liz shouted after us.
We were racing down the hallway when I heard a noise in front of us. Vivian dragged me into an open cell. "Shhhh, Shhhh, inside!" We pressed ourselves against the wall hoping nobody would see us. Meyers and Sophie passed down the hallway, arguing. They didn't see us. I breathed a quick sigh of relief.
"Come on," whispered Vivian, and we were off again.
We climbed carefully down two flights of stairs, until we reached what appeared to be the basement.
"Over here," whispered Vivian, motioning to some boxes. We crouched behind them, safe, for the moment.
Just then a siren went of and my heart went cold. "Security breach in block C," called the voice over the intercom. I heard dogs barking, searching for us. Vivian became frantic.
"Now what?" She shouted. "Now what am I supposed to do?"
I shook my head numbly, backing away. The sirens continued, then footsteps came crashing down the corridor. Liz!
Vivian grabbed her by the shoulders, asking her the same question. "Now what am I supposed to do?"
"Where's Alia?" Liz asked frantically.
Alia…
"What?" Vivian shouted.
"Angel, where's Angel?"
"Get down, over here." They came towards me, crouching.
"What happened?" I asked, frantic, as they came.
"They know you're gone," Vivian stated miserably. "And I'm gonna get shot right along with you!" She gasped for air, considering. "I got to take you back."
"No!"
"Vivian, listen to me," Liz said. "This isn't going to make sense, and I don't expect you to believe me, but I don't have a choice now. I gotta tell you the truth."
I stared at her in confusion. The truth? And who was Alia?
"The truth is, I'm gonna take you back!"
"No," I said, blocking her way. Liz took hold of her and stopped her.
"Just listen to me for one second." She took a deep breath. "I'm not Liz. And this is not Angel. We're time travelers, from the future."
Vivian was surprised. Quite frankly, so was I. Liz must be…she must be high on something, to come up with such a crazy story. I wondered mildly how she managed to get drugs in a tight place like this, and if she had any left. I could use an escape right now, no matter the consequences.
"And so is Meyers," Liz added.
"This is no time to be funny, Liz," Vivian said, shaking her head.
"I'm not Liz."
Vivian rolled her eyes.
"I'm a man. My name is Sam Beckett. And Meyers is a woman named Zoey."
Sam? Zoey? Who were these people that Liz was referring to, and why did their names seem familiar?
Vivian chuckled. "Meyers is a woman?"
"Zoey?" I asked. The name was so familiar, but I couldn't remember…
The sirens stopped, and Liz resumed talking. "Look, we don't have a lot of time. This Zoey person is a horrible, horrible person. She traveled across time," Liz turned to point at me, "to kill her! And you're our only hope!"
Vivian shook her head in disbelief. "This is unreal!"
"Forget reality!" Liz said, shoving Vivian against the wall. "Forget everything you've ever known! If you don't help us, then…you gotta help us! Please!" She shouted.
Vivian shoved herself away. "Wait a minute! If I'm getting ready to step into the Twilight Zone I need a minute." She paused, panting hard. "Now give me one good reason why I should believe you."
Liz paused, then said, "How long have you know Liz?"
"Long time!"
"Would she make up a story like this?" Tension strove throughout Liz's voice, but somehow, I knew it wasn't Liz. But then, who was she? Was it possible her story was true? And if so, then who was I?
Vivian took a breath. "All right," she said finally. "All right, I know how I can get you out. And this better be a flashback of some drug I did in the sixties," she added.
Yeah, me too, I added silently.
Vivian led us down through the tunnels, to a small crawl space. As we crawled through, she whispered, "Okay. Here. At the end of the tunnel, there's an electric gate. Give me about five minutes, I'm gonna cut the power. And when I do you got fifteen seconds to cut the lock and get out before the back-up generator kicks in. I'll be right behind you."
"Alright," Liz whispered. "Come on."
I turned to Vivian then. "Why are you doing this?" I asked. No one had ever, ever helped me, in my memory, that is. Liz had been kind to me, but I'd never had to ask her to do anything- in prison, there isn't much you can do for other people. That is, unless you are planning an escape.
"Does it matter?" asked Liz.
"Yes. I want to know why some people help other people." I said it with conviction. I needed to hear this answer, needed to know why anybody would risk herself to help me…when I had never done anything for her, and probably would never repay her anyhow. Why?
"Cause all my life, I never did anything really special. And if one-tenth of what you're saying is true, then this is special. For once, I wanna be the good guy." She grinned, panting slightly. "Go ahead."
Liz pulled me down the narrow passageway, saying, "Come one, hurry up, come on."
I panted on behind her, thinking on Vivian's answer. I want to be the good guy. I want to do something special. What good did being good get you? You'd only get hurt, in the end. Vivian could die for being the 'good guy.' And yet she helped us.
Wanting to do something special, I could understand. I had been like that once, just wanting to make my mark on the world, just wanting to prove that I was special. I stopped, confused. Had that really been me? Angel? I couldn't remember.
"Come on!" Liz urged, and I hurried after her. We reached the gate. Liz waited ten seconds, then the power was cut. She cut the lock, pushed me through the gate, and ran out behind me. We found ourselves outside the jail, in the forest. As we scrambled up the bank, Liz continued to urge me forward, saying, "Hurry up!" Didn't she know I was hurrying?
I tried to go faster, and only succeeded in tripping over a dead root and falling on my arm. Liz fell on top of me, and I gasped in pain.
"You all right?" Liz asked, concerned. "Come on." Then she appeared to be looking behind me at someone. I turned, but saw nothing. "Then have Ziggy over-ride it!" She gasped.
I stared at her in confusion. What was she doing? What…
She took my face in her hands and said, "Rumplestiltskin!"
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A/N- This is for KP. If you haven't guessed by now, Zoey has Leaped after Alia, and right now she's Meyers, the Warden. Sam knows all this, but he never took the time to explain it to 'Angel' in the episode, so that info isn't included. Thanks for reading!