A/N- I'm deeply sorry about how long it took for this to get up! Life caught up with me, and it turned out that this chapter needed heavy revisions. So, its been redone, and hopefully is better now… it took a little longer, but I think in the end, this is a better product. Enjoy!
PippinDuck- Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the Scripture. As for it being from Alia's perspective, it didn't come out of her own head. Her family sure never taught her about God, and she hasn't really had time to learn ever since she began Leaping. I think that she could possibly have heard the words while the action was taking place, but never actually understood where they came from or what they meant.
Korean Pearl- I'm glad you like it! As for what happened to Sam, he wasn't touching her when she Leaped (remember, she threw him to the ground to protect him from Zoey) so they didn't Leap together. By now he's Leaped on to another life and another episode. That being the last Evil Leaper episode, Sam never saw Alia again for the duration of the series, which was cancelled five episodes after Alia disappeared. But this fanfic is going beyond the end of the show, so stay tuned… No, the Bible verses were not in the TV show, I included them because I felt they were appropriate. I'm glad you liked that! And Alia is seeing herself in the mirror again, which means that yes, she is herself. As for when she is, that will be revealed in this chapter.
TesubCalle- Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked the Scripture… everyone seems to agree that was a nice touch. And here is what happens next, I hope you like it!
Deranged Lunatic- Thank you so much! This story is on your favorites list? Thanks again! And if you haven't seen the rest of the shows, definitely try and see them some time. Some of my favorite shows aired during the 4th and 5th seasons. J
Discalimer- Alia does not belong to me, but to Belisarius Productions and Don Belisario.
Claimer- I own Andrew, Carol, Stephie, all their cats, all the dialogue, and all the plot events from now on. Whee!
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Chapter 19- Finding Myself
You take me in
No questions asked
You strip away the
Ugliness that surrounds me
Are you an angel
Am I already that gone
I only hope that I
Won't disappoint you when
I'm down here on my knees
-Sweet Surrender by Sarah Mclachan
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Sunlight on my face woke me up the next day. I blinked, wondering who, where, and when I was… until I remembered. I was free. Heaving the covers off the bed the family had offered to me, I went to look out the window. The sight took my breath away.
The sun came up from behind the hills, casting long shadows all throughout the countryside. I could see a barn and a chicken-coop outside, and it seemed as if the animal occupants had been up long before I was. I smiled at the soft glow of early morning.
Then a thought came to me, and I glanced down at myself. I was wearing the same things I had been last night- a turtleneck, a sweater, and a pair of jeans. Absently I wondered where they had come from, but the problem boggled my mind and I finally set it aside. Quietly, nervously, I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.
I tiptoed down the stairs, but didn't make it to the bottom before the mirror caught my eye again, and trapped me. I'm not sure how long I stood there, staring at my reflection. It was Stephanie who finally pulled me out of my trance.
"G'morning, 'Leah," she said, smiling brightly.
I glanced down at the girl awkwardly, unsure of what I was supposed to say to a five-year old. I've never had that much experience with children. "Um, hi… Stephanie."
She frowned a bit at that. "It's 'Stephie'," she corrected me. "Ever'body calls me that, so you should too."
"All right, Stephie," I said. Then I noticed that the kitten she was carrying up the stairs was a different color than the one she'd been cuddling last night. "Is that a different kitten?" I asked, unable to hide my curiosity.
"Yup," she said, smiling again. "Last night I was playing with Misty. This is Joker," she told me, holding him up high so I could see. Joker didn't seem to appreciate the attention, and squirmed out of her grasp. "Whoops," she exclaimed, as the kitten went running down the stairs and out the door. Then she turned back to me, and took my hand. "We got lot's an' lots of cats. You wanna meet them?" She asked, pulling me down the stairs all the while.
It didn't look like I had much of a choice, so… "Uh, sure," I agreed, staggering a bit.
Fortunately, before Stephie could take me out to the barn and personally introduce me to each and every one of the cats, Carol intervened. "Oh, Alia, you're awake," she said, smiling at the sight of her daughter pulling me along. "Won't you sit down and have some breakfast?" she asked. "I'm making pancakes this morning."
"But Mommy," Stephie pouted, "I'm taking 'Leah to meet Misty and Joker and Simba and Buttons and Pookie and 'Nonny an…"
Swiftly Carol interrupted her daughter's flow of chatter. "That's nice, sweetie, but I think Alia would rather have some breakfast first, don't you? And besides," she added sternly, "you're supposed to be upstairs getting ready for school, Missy."
Stephie made a face at this and turned to look at me sorrowfully. "I'm sorry, 'Leah, I gotta go get ready for school." Then she brightened, and said, "But I can show you the kitties after I get home, okay?" Then she turned and ran pell-mell up the stairs, leaving me flabbergasted in her wake.
Carol laughed after her daughter and gently pulled me to the table. "Now, what would you like on your pancakes?" she asked brightly.
It had been so long since I had had pancakes, and my mouth watered hungrily. "Um, I don't know. Whatever is best," I answered finally.
I certainly got the best, in my opinion. Breakfast that morning was pancakes topped with strawberries and whipped bream. It seemed to me it was the best breakfast I had ever had, and I was almost sorry when I had finished. "Thank you," I said gratefully when I got up from the table. I wasn't sure there was much else I could say, so I put my dishes in the sink, and then stood by the door, unsure of what to do. Unbidden, thoughts of Zoey and Lothos crept into my mind, and I pushed them away with effort. Now was not the time to think about that, now was the time to think about the future… whatever that held for me. Yet I still couldn't keep away the fear, fear that Zoey would find me and take me back… and now that I was done eating, it was harder not to think about such things.
Once again, it was Carol who saved me. "Andrew is taking Stephie to kindergarten, but he'll be back soon enough." A pause, and then she added, more softly, "The police are coming this morning, Alia. I thought you should know."
A surge of panic ran through me, and I thought of Miss Sophie from Mallard. My breath quickened, and I fought to remain calm. They wouldn't take me back there, I knew that rationally. But the thought of going back to jail… even if I did deserve it… was a frightening one.
Carol noticed my discomfort, and hurried to comfort me, saying, "They aren't going to take you away, sweetie. Andrew and I won't let them. We've prayed about it, and Andrew believes he can trust you. That's good enough for me," she said with finality, in a voice that left no room for arguing. So I didn't, but I did begin to pace nervously.
In an attempt to take my mind off the upcoming visit, I glanced down at the newspaper on the front table. I was surprised to find it was June 5th, 2000… five years after I had first begun Leaping. What had happened to the world in all that time? But before I got the chance to delve deeper into the paper, the doorbell rang
The police were here.
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"What did you say your name was, miss?" Officer Sanders questioned gently.
"Alia."
"I mean your full name, honey," she clarified.
I swallowed. If I told them, there would be no going back. Lothos would be able to find me. I would be trapped.
I was tired of lying, though, tired of hiding. What was the point of being myself again if I couldn't even tell anyone my name?
"Alia Heaton," I declared.
"Heaton," she mumbled, typing the name into her laptop. "Heaton." She frowned, and retyped it. Finally, she gave up, and shut down her laptop. Putting it away, she remarked flatly, "So you say you were hired as an assassin for a secret organization."
"Yes, that's right," I grudgingly admitted. It was not the kind of story I would have chosen to tell the police, but it was the story I had told Andrew last night, wanting to be as truthful as possible. Now I was paying for it.
Frowning again, she studied me closely. "Care to give me the details?" She asked.
I shook my head hastily. "No, I can't. You'd… you'd never trace it anyway."
She nodded ruefully and sighed. "Well, I'll take your fingerprints down to the station and see if anything turns up about this organization you claim exists. In the meantime, I'd like to speak with Mr. And Mrs. Watson, please."
I nodded, realizing that she didn't want me to hear their conversation. But that wasn't about to stop me. I had to know what was going on, what was going to happen…
I climbed normally up the stairs, and shut the door of the room they had given me without actually going inside. Then I crept back to the handrail silently, and listened to what the others were saying.
"…have the results by?" I caught Andrew saying.
"We should have the results by the end of the week," said Officer Sanders. "As I told her, we'll take these prints down to the station. If she's been involved with an organized crime syndicate, something might show up. But I doubt that this is that kind of a case."
"What do you think happened to her, then?" asked Carol, her voice somewhat nervous.
"My best guess? She's either mentally unstable or a homeless person who's run up a good story for some room and board," she offered. "Although why anyone would want to pose as a criminal is beyond me." I heard her pause, stand, and start walking to the door. "But I have a hard time believing she's an assassin. They tend to be cold, calculating, and never let any emotions show. This girl? She's so unsure of herself. But if you'd rather have her out of your hair, we're willing to take her down to the station until this all clears up."
My breath caught in my throat as I thought of Mallard again. Instinctively, I reviewed the exits of the house- there was a window in my room, I remembered. If worse came to worse, I could climb out and escape, disappear forever…
But that was just the problem, I realized. I couldn't be content with disappearing anymore. I couldn't run forever. And if I truly wanted to be myself again, then… this was the first step. I forced myself to breath deeply and listen for the Watson's response.
After a long pause, Andrew said, "We won't mind having her here for awhile longer." I breathed a deep sigh of relief. "I think… it's obvious she needs help. And I think we can help her more than the police could."
"That's fine, then," said the officer. "Just so you know what you could be dealing with. If anything goes wrong, call this number…" Here she paused, probably to write something, "and someone will be by as quickly as possible. Within a week, this should be all cleared up," she remarked as she walked outside and the door shut behind her.
Without wasting time, I opened the door of my room again and hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. With luck, they'd never know I had been listening to them.
Standing in front of the mirror, I realized how lucky I had been. To be set down in a place where people would care for me, to have a chance to recover… it was unthinkable. It was totally out of my realm of experience.
Is there such a thing as… luck? What if this was no accident?
But I shoved that thought away. I wasn't ready to deal with any of that, not now, not when I had narrowly escaped being taken away… not when I had narrowly escaped being killed last night. Not now.
When I had finished in the restroom, I opened the door and stepped cautiously down the stairs. Once more, Carol was waiting for me.
"Oh, there you are," she said, smiling upon seeing me. "Andrew took the morning off to show you around this place, since I have some things to do in the house." Her eyes twinkled merrily. "If you're lucky, you might be able to persuade him to introduce you to all our furry friends."
Smiling shyly, still unsure about myself, I went off to find Andrew and see the place I'd be staying for the next few weeks.
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The Watsons farm wasn't actually a farm, as many would define it. The only plants cultivated were Carol's flower-beds. There were a few chickens on the premises, and two horses for riding, but not much else. However, there was one animal that the Watson's owned in abundance… cats.
The entire family seemed to be… obsessed… with cats. Some of the animals didn't even belong to the Watsons, but they fed those cats anyway, unwilling to let any of the creatures go hungry. There were at least four indoor cats, and over ten outdoor ones, as well as several anonymous strays they fed. True to her word, when Stephie came home from kindergarten, she introduced me to each and every one of the cats. Joker, his brother Batcat, and his sister Misty seemed to be Stephie's favorites, because they were kittens, but the rest got fairly equal attention. As for me, I was simply glad I wasn't allergic to the critters, or the entire week would have been unbearable.
Despite the cats, the place was peaceful. I learned to enjoy sleeping in, never worrying about who I was or what I had to do that day. In spite of my dislike for household chores, I insisted on helping Carol around the house when the rest of the family was gone. Maybe it was talking to someone who actually listened rather than someone who went on about herself all the time, but I stopped hating chores so much. They gave me something to do, to take my mind off what I had gone through. And that was a huge relief.
In spare moments, when I let my guard down, I would begin to wonder why Zoey and Lothos hadn't locked on to me yet. They were supposed to be able to find me anywhere in time… but when thoughts like those crept in, I smothered them. For whatever the reason, Zoey and Lothos had not found me, and I wasn't going to dwell on them unless I had to.
However, stifling thoughts of my past forced me to think about the present, which in turn brought back memories of the past. But these were from farther back, before Lothos had ever found me.
I watched Stephie's father read her a book and kiss her every night before she went to bed. I saw him put an arm around his wife while we watched an evening movie, and watched as she did not pull away in fear. I noticed that when Stephie asked if we could make brownies for her class picnic the next day, her mother dropped what she was doing and went to help, asking me to join them. And I wondered in amazement at it all.
The family was by no means perfect. Stephie threw tantrums some mornings, when she had to wake up early, or when she didn't finish her food and was denied desert. In moments when things were not going as was planned, sharp words and stinging phrases were said. But afterwards, when it had blown over, I watched as the family apologized to each other, and became one again.
I couldn't understand it at all. This family had something that mine had never had. And even though I had been accepted into their home, for a time, I still didn't have it. Would I ever get to experience this kind of life?
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Near the end of the week, Officer Sanders returned, and we had another chat in the den.
"Well, the results of the fingerprint tests are in," she said, looking at me steadily.
I nodded nervously. When she offered no more information, I asked, "Well?"
Instead of answering my question, she asked another one. "Alia," she said softly, "What happened five years ago?"
I froze, not daring to move. How had they discovered what had happened? Did they… did they know about Lothos? No one was supposed to be able to hack in to his files, or find out anything about the project…
"I don't know what you mean," I stumbled, hoping she would let it go.
"I think you do, Alia," she said gently. "Can you remember the Clifton Bridge, and a woman named Chloe Lofton?"
Confusion set in. What was she talking about?
"What happened after you jumped, Alia? Where did you go?"
That final phrase was all it took to make me realize what was going on. Lothos had conveniently faked my death after I had Leaped. But since the police had never found my body, Officer Sanders must believe that I had somehow survived… and ended up here. It was all I could do not to breath a huge sigh of relief at that moment.
Instead, five years of acting took over. I called up the tears I had used, time and time again, to make myself look innocent. I told her that I could remember nothing about the past five years, which was true enough- I hadn't experienced them. Finally I convinced her to let me stay with the Watsons, at least until I could get back on my feet. She agreed, on the condition that I would seek help from a psychiatrist over what had happed. This was something I definitely did not want, but there was no help for it. I had to agree to get her to leave.
I think it was that afternoon that forced me to think about what had happened, and what would come next. I forced myself to remember that Zoey and Lothos were still out there. And I knew if I stayed, they'd eventually trace me here. I couldn't let that happen. For some reason, they didn't seem to be able to retrieve me back to the Project, but if they knew where I was, they would send someone after me. And the family that had taken me in would get hurt.
I couldn't let that happen.
Frustrated, I began cleaning out the horses stalls in an attempt to clear my mind. As I poked through the junk at the back of the barn, I found an old metal rod, with a switch on one end. When Andrew came home, I asked him what it was.
"That's my Grandfather's cattle prod," he answered. "from back when this place was a real farm. They used it to get the cows moving, by giving them a jolt of electricity," Andrew said. I looked at it more closely.
"Wasn't that dangerous?" I asked.
"Nope. A cattle prod just delivers enough of a shock to get the cows moving. It feels like a bee-sting. Its nothing like a stun gun, although some people insist on comparing the two."
I stood up from where I was crouched beside the prod. "What's a stun gun?"
"It's something police officers use, I think. It delivers a shock, too, but nothing like the cattle prod. A stun-gun sends electricity coursing through your entire body, and can knock someone out." He frowned. "I'd hate to see someone using that on their animals."
As he walked away, I thought about that, decided it was valuable information, and filed it away for later.
But I still wasn't sure what I was going to do.