A Girl's Day Out
Chapter One: A Very Stupid Bet
Author's Note: Hey everyone! O.K., I deleted my Phantom's Bride story (more info about that huge catastrophe on my profile) cause of too many mistakes, bad reviews, and it just plain stunk, so I'm back and writing this story for your guy's enjoyment instead.Well, since everybody that read the story The Grass is Always Greener requested a sequel, I decided to write one for you guys. Happy now :) And please excuse all the errors I'm sure will be in this chap.
First of all, anyone that's reading this that hasn't read The Grass is Always Greener that's reading this, stop, and zip over to my profile and read it first before you go any further, because (obviously) you need to read the first story before you read the sequel. For the other readers that have read The Grass is Always Greener, hope you'll enjoy this story just as much! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!I'd like to possibly have 10 or 15 reviews per chapter! That would be cool! Okay, shutting up now!
P.S. As I said before, even though the fic's set in 1870 France, there will be a lot of modern objects and language in it. Please don't flame me in the reviews.
Summary: What if Christine and Meg made the exact same bet Erik and Raoul made? Who will win? Who will go insane first! (This fic takes place exactly where The Grass is Always Greener left off.) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Don't own it, yada, yada, yada.
Well, as I said, Erik and Raoul's plan worked marvelously for about a year, until Christine discovered what they were really doing and had an absolute fit. She had decided to go visit Erik and Raoul, and tell Raoul it was time to go home. Meg decided to come with her too. So, they both drove to the bowling alley where they thought Erik and Raoul were.
"Hey Christine" Meg said as they were pulling in the parking lot "Maybe we should go bowling while Erik and Raoul finish their game."
"Meg" Christine said "It's already eight o' clock. Raoul's up way past his bedtime"
"Christine, don't you think you're just a tad bit strict with him? He's an adult. He can take care of himself"
Christine had another fit "Oh, great! Just because I care about him, you think I'm strict! You think I'm too overprotective is that it? I'm no fun to be around, am I ? I'm too mean, is that what you and Raoul think? You guys were talking about me, I can't believe-"
Meg could sense where this was going, so she interrupted. "Christine, look at the big, glow in the dark sign up there! Isn't it pretty?" she asked, knowing Christine had an attention span of about two seconds
"Ooh, yeah, it is! That's pretty! And so shinny!" she said as she and Meg got out of the car. They headed inside and started to look for the boys.
" I don't see them anywhere" she said. Christine immediately flipped out.
"OH MY GOD! Maybe they got hurt! Or killed! Or dropped a bowling ball on themselves and broke their leg! Or got their hands stuck in the ball and cut off their circulation! Or-"
"CHRISTINE!" Meg broke in. "Let's just ask an employee if they're here tonight!"
"Okay" Christine said whimpering. She followed Meg to the management desk.
"Excuse me" Christine asked worriedly "Are Raoul de Changy and Erik here tonight?"
The employee looked up "Well, what's Erik's last name Ma'am?"
She looked confused "I dunna know. I don't think he has one. Maybe he signed in as the Opera Ghost. Or the Angel of Music. Or The Phantom of the Opera. Maybe he-"
Meg put a hand over Christine's mouth "Look, did you see two guys, one with a mask and cape and one looking like an extremely girlish fop-"
"Hey! That's my husband you just called an extremely girlish fop! Oh no, wait, never mind, he is an extremely girlish fop. Continue." Christine broke in
Meg groaned "Did they come in here?" Meg asked
The employee looked bored "No. The entire place's been booked for some senior citizen's retirement party."
Not even bothering to respond, Christine ran out to the car, dragging Meg along behind her.
"Owww, Christine! You're gonna pull my arm out! Let go!"
"Sorry Meg." They got in the car, and Christine revved it up. "Ooh, I can't believe Raoul isn't here! He told me he's always here on Thursday nights! Where could he be?"
"Maybe he's over at Erik's place" Meg suggested
Christine glared at her "Why would he be there?" She gasped "Oh my god! Raoul must be cheating on me! Maybe he's in an affair! Oh my god, what if he's gone out and married someone else! And I thought our relationship was fine! Ooh, how could I be such a-"
"Christine! Who in the hell would he have an affair with!" Meg asked impatiently. She and Christine were planning on going shopping, and Meg wanted to get on with it.
" I don't know. Maybe Carlotta. He always had a thing for Italian chicks."
Meg sighed "Just drive over to Erik's place. They're probably watching sports or something"
Christine gasped "They better not be. Raoul knows that sports games are to violant for him to watch!"
Meg sat for a moment, while Christine babbled, admiring her engagement ring. Erik had proposed to her two months ago. It was so romantic. She was actually getting married! To an Opera Ghost! "Hey Christine" she asked "You are going to be my maid of honor at my wedding right?"
Christine gasped "Why? Did you change your mind? You don't want me to, do you? Just tell the truth! You don't wanna be friends anymore, do you! I think-"
"Christine!" Meg said in a sing songy voice "Isn't my ring shiny?" she asked
Christine instantly stopped talking and stared at the ring "Oooh, sparkly." she said happily. Meg tried not to laugh.
Twenty minutes later, Meg and Christine were in a boat, rowing into Erik's lair. Before they even got inside they could hear Erik and Raoul whooping and screaming, and some background noise that sounded like a football game. Meg said "Uh-oh" And after a small gasp of shock, Christine said- -well, about every name in the book( which I won't put in here, since this is only a T rated fic )with the words "Erik, Raoul, football" and "asshole" strung in between.
Erik and Raoul were at Erik's place having a great time, completely unaware that Christine and Meg were coming in. They had both drank about four to seven cans of beer each, were completely drunk, and kept either
A. Screaming cusswords at the TV. when their team messed up
B. Body slamming each other
C. Drinking more beer or
D. Complaining about their wives /fiancées
"So" Raoul asked after gulping down even more beer "When's the big day for you and Meg?"
Erik groaned "Don't even get me started on it. Meg's driving me crazy! I thought living with Christine for a day was hell. Now, I'm getting married to her best friend that's worse than her!"
Raoul looked confused (which isn't unusual, considering his brain's the size of a peanut) and then said (sounding extremely drunk)"Wait a minute, I thought you guys were in love, weren't ya? Or is that you and me?"
Erik pushed his chair about ten inches away from Raoul's and said "Good god, you really are a girlish fop! Christine was right!"
Raoul grinned proudly and said "Yup! Hey, was that an insult? Wait, lemme think"
"Don't hurt yourself " Erik muttered
After a few minutes of silence, Erik drank more beer and said "Well, ya know, Meg is pretty damn hot. And her boobs are triple the size of Christine's."
Raoul looked at him, still grinning, and said "Yeah, she is hot!"
Erik shoved him "Hey, she's mine! You already got that adorable, pretty nutcase, Christine!"
"Yup. But wait, why are you marrying Meg again?"
Erik groaned "I already told you! I'm sick of living in tortuous solitude and isolation from the rest of civilization down here-"
"Hey, you got cable TV. and a neat swishy cape" Raoul broke in
"Yes I do, but I wanted a wife, and you already had dibs on Christine. So, Meg's a nice, little ballerina, looks like an angel, she's Christine's best friend, and the best that I'm going to get, so I proposed, but it's times like this when I wonder if I was sane when I did that"
Erik didn't tell Raoul the real reason he proposed was when Mme. Giry caught him sneaking around Meg's dressing room, pulled out the good ol' Punjab lasso on him, told him that Meg was already getting to be an old maid, and Mme. Giry was sick of having her hang around her all damn day, and threatened that if he didn't propose to Meg or find someone who would, she'd tell everyone that Erik liked to crochet. When Erik tried to protest by telling her he only did that trying how to learn how to make clothes for himself, she tightened the lasso and reminded him how long it took him to get his reputation back after what Raoul did when they made that bet. Erik shuddered remembering and when Mme. Giry repeated the demand, tightening the lasso, Erik broke down, promising he would propose. Meg recalled Erik's proposal as the most romantic thing ever. Erik recalled it as Mme. Giry watching them from behind Meg, and holding up 3 by 5 index cards, telling Erik what to say exactly.
It was at that moment when Erik and Raoul's favorite team scored a touchdown and Erik and Raoul body slammed against each other screaming "TOUCHDOWN!" and some other ridiculous macho guy stuff like "Whoo yeah! who's your daddy now! Uh-uh, uh-uh!" Christine and Meg were just coming in when that happened. Unfortunately, this was a Dallas Cowboy game, and at halftime, the cheerleaders came out. Here's what happened: Raoul and Erik were starring and drooling at the TV. like brain dead zombies, Christine and Meg came in, just when Raoul said "Damn, that girl is SO stinkin' hot!" and Erik said "God, her jugs beat Meg's by a MILE!" and all hell broke lose.
Christine stormed out of the boat, with Meg close behind, and came straight up to Raoul. Erik noticed the girls were there first, and tried to alert Raoul. "Raoul! Look to your left!"
Raoul (in his infinite wisdom) got his directions mixed up and looked to the right, where the TV. set was, and stated "God, why can't my wife look like that?"
Erik tried again "Raoul, LOOK TO YOUR LEFT!
But Raoul failed to do that, and once again wisely said "Damn, that cheerleader's ass is so hot! Why can't my wife have a butt like that?"
"AHHEMMM!" Christine practically screamed
Raoul turned around, a expression of shock and fear on his face "Hi hon. What brings you here?" he asked weekly
Christine threw an absolute fit "Bowling! THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF BOWLING? I was worried sick about you, and you're down here, watching this violent, idiotic sports game that you know I forbid you to see. AND comparing my ass to a cheerleader's ass!How damn stupid are you! I've been looking for you EVERYWHERE!" she screamed
Then she gasped as the realization hit her "You guys never did go bowling did you? You did THIS the whole time! You LIED to me! You don't like me, do you? Nobody likes me! You like your precious football better than your wife!" Christine sobbed, sitting down. Erik tried to use this opportunity to sneak off to his room, but Meg gave him a glare and said "Don't even think about it, asshole"
Erik sat back down
Raoul tried to apologize "Snookums, I-"
Christine slapped him straight across the face, much to Erik's amusement, until Christine slapped him too and then Meg did.
So, Erik tried apologizing "Girls, look, we were just-"
Meg glared at him "I'll deal with you later, and just wait until I get you all alone"
Erik gulped
Meg looked at Christine "Christine, calm down. We already know all men are macho idiots"
"HEY!" the macho idiots interrupted "We are not!"
"Well, okay, one of you is the macho idiot, and the other's a girlish fop"
"Which one's which?" Raoul asked, very confused
Meg looked at him stupidly "You just answered your own question, Einstein"
Christine sighed "You're right Meg. But, they lied to us, and what's worse, they acted more stupid than they ever did before"
"I disagree" Meg said
Christine looked surprised "You do? How much more stupid can you get than comparing your wives/fiancées to Dallas cowboy cheerleaders when they're in the room?"
"Last year, when they made that stupid bet and switched places, remember? That was pure stupidity"
"Oh yeah. You and me would never make a bet as stupid as that Meg"
Erik and Raoul could see where this was headed, and they grinned at each other
"Yeah, because we both know who'd win" Meg challenged
Christine looked confused "What do 'ya mean?"
Meg sighed "Come on Christine. You know you'd never last two minutes in my shoes"
Christine stood up "Oh yeah? Well you wouldn't last a minute in my shoes because they're a size six and you wear an eight"
Meg scoffed "Christine, that's just an expression. You don't really have to wear my shoes. Just last in my lifestyle"
Christine gasped "You're not serious! We were just talking about how dumb the guys were for making a bet like that, and now you wanna make one too!"
Meg stood up "Yeah, but the guys were so stupid they didn't even get a winner"
Normally, the stupid guys would have said something in their defense, but they could see that something was starting, so they remained silent.
"True" Christine said
Meg stared her straight in the eye "Come on, Chrissie, let's bet on it."
Christine looked unsure "I don't know. Why should we? Our lifestyles aren't that bad." she pointed out
Meg thought for a moment and then said "Yeah, but you're filthy stinkin' rich, had two guys madly in love with you, were the Prima Donna, and your nightgown is prettier than my ball gown."
Christine grinned "Yeah, my life is pretty sweet. But, then again, I'm a complete ditz, I'm married to a fop, I can't handle anything on my own without crying or running off to Erik or Raoul. You think my life's easy?" she asked
Meg scoffed "You're damn right it's easy! I'm like, over 20 something, barely got ten minutes on screen in the movie, hardly any lines, I still live with my mother, have no self esteem whatsoever, and don't even walk normally because I'm always wearing these stupid ballet shoes!"
Christine laughed "Yeah, your life's so hard Meg. I could totally last in your lifestyle easy."
Meg glared at her "Prove it"
Christine looked at the ground "I don't wanna"
"Chicken"
Christine's head snapped up "What'd you call me?"
"You heard me chicken" Meg replied
Christine shouted "Brat!"
"Ditz!"
" Baby!"
"Idiot!"
"Blonde!"
"Brunette!"
By now, Raoul and Erik had nearly wet their pants, and were going to burst from not laughing.
Christine stared at Meg hard "Okay Miss Smarty Pants, let's bet on it. I'll stay with Madame Giry and act like a ballet brat for twenty four hours. But, you have to stay with Raoul and act like me for a day. We'll just see who wins."
Christine and Meg shook hands on it. "Deal" Meg agreed.
Christine went to change into a frilly looking ballet tutu and tights, and Meg dragged Raoul with her out of Erik's basement while he shouted "Hey Erik, you mind if I have some fun with Meg? Cause she is hot!"
Well, needless to say, Meg slapped Raoul and Erik punjabbed him. Five minutes later, Meg and Raoul were on their way to Raoul's house, (with Meg muttering something about how stupid Christine was), and Raoul screaming for mercy since Meg was dragging him out of the lair by his ear. Erik, thinking that Meg and Christine couldn't hear him said "Yes! The two adorable psychos are gone and I finally get a break from living in hell!"
Unfortunately, the adorable psychos (Meg and Christine)both heard him and slapped him senseless til' he was screaming something that went like "Ahhh! No, I was only kidding! I love both of you adorable psychos! No, wait, that didn't come out right! Ahh, please, stop it! Oooh, the pain!"
Another five minutes later, Meg and Raoul had really left, Christine had started to sneak upstairs using the secret tunnels, got lost and started screaming for Erik to help her (which he did, after making her say "Erik is the hottest man alive, Raoul is a stupid fop" ten times, which made her slap him again when he found her), and after about ten minutes, Christine made it upstairs to the ballet dormitories, Erik went back to watching football and drinking, and this is the beginning of a(stupid) girl's day out.
I have a feeling that this is also the beginning of a very stupid story.
Please review! Let me know what you think!