A/N- Everybody set your VCRs! 'Deliver Us From Evil' is playing November 6 at 11:00 at night on the sci-fi channel. Don't miss it!
TesubCalle- Glad you liked it! As to what Zoey and Lothos are up to, this chapter should answer your questions.
PippinDuck- Thanks! That's one of the reasons I held off updating. In the first draft, the Watsons weren't 'real' enough, so I had to go back and rewrite it. I'm glad it seemed to work! As for the showdown, you should like this chapter…
Deranged Lunatic- Thanks for reviewing! Actually, that chapter is a kind of an interlude. I figured Alia needed a break after everything that had happened to her, and some time to prepare for what's coming up in this chapter. This story's not over yet, we still have a ways to go.
And it's nice to meet another young Leaper! I was also too young to watch it the first time around, having been only five when it was cancelled. Luckily I have grandparents with cable, and I make them tape the show for me.
Korean Pearl- Don't be sorry. Fanfic was down for me as well, and refused to show me my reviews for the longest time… argh. Glad you reviewed! As I said before, Alia wasn't the main character and was only in three episodes, so I don't think she had anything to do with the cancellation. This story will show what happened to Alia and Sam after the show, to an extent… :grins: Yes, last chapter shows that I really like cats… tee-hee.
Same Disclaimer Applies.
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Chapter 20- Confrontation
"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you." –Matthew 6:13-14
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It seemed that thinking about Lothos and Zoey had given them more control over me, and now I couldn't take my mind off them. Not even when I was asleep.
I must have had a thousand nightmares that night. I dreamed of being trapped in the Holding Chamber, of being tortured by Thames. I relived all the deaths I had caused. When I relived the nightmare Lothos had scripted for me the first time I failed to kill Sam, it became too much for me to handle, and I jerked violently awake.
But even awake, my nightmares still plagued me. They were burned into my memory, etched into my being… and I couldn't stop. I sat in bed and cried, a river of tears that never seemed to end. I was broken, and I just didn't know how to put myself back together again.
Andrew nearly broke down my door trying to reach me.
"Alia!" He took in the scene, then quietly closed the door and turned on the light. Still sobbing, I turned away from him as he sat on the bed beside me.
He said nothing, offered no words, just sat with me as I cried. And gradually, my sobs abated. Even I couldn't cry forever, I realized. And when I was calm enough to talk, he spoke to me.
"Alia. What happened, honey?"
That was all it took. I couldn't hold it in anymore; my barriers were down. I told him. I told him everything.
And he listened. I mean, really listened. He was entirely neutral as I told him about Zoey, Lothos, and Sam. And when I had finished, he put his arm around me gently, as Renee had so long ago, and said, "It's going to be okay, Alia. Everything is going to turn out all right."
I didn't want to accept his false comforts, though. Renee had told me that once, and look what had happened to me. I pushed myself away from him, snarling, "How can it ever be all right? I'm a murderer, don't you understand? I deserve…to die!" I flung myself around and into a pillow, trying desperately to hide from myself, and failing miserably.
Andrew took this in for a moment. Then he reached out and took something off the nightstand. A book.
"You don't have to die, Alia," he told me quietly.
"You don't understand. I've taken so many lives! I deserve death!"
"But you can be forgiven," he answered.
I laughed mirthlessly. "No one would forgive me. No one can forgive me!"
"It sounds to me like Sam did."
Cautiously, I raised my head from the pillow. "You believe me?" I asked, incredulously.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure if I believe it, yet. But I do know, whatever you've done, that you can be forgiven. I know you can be loved."
"Nobody loves me," I stated harshly.
"God loves you."
I glared at him. "Oh? Where was God when Zoey found me? Where was God when I was tormented by Lothos? When my own father hated me, where was your God then?" I spat, and sobbed into the pillow.
"I can't account for the actions of your father, Alia, but I do know that God was there."
"Then why didn't he do something? Stop me Zoey from finding me, rescue me from Lothos, give me a loving father?"
"I don't know. Sometimes we can't understand the actions of God until we look back on them, and see that he had a plan all along."
"I see no plan," I retorted.
"Maybe it was to bring you here," he suggested softly. "So that you could hear this message, and know that He loves you, and He doesn't want to see you suffer like this."
"Not even God could love me. I've done so many things…"
He opened the book and read aloud from it, cutting me off. " 'You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.'"
He closed the book and looked long and hard at me. "He wants what's best for you, Alia. But you have to accept forgiveness first."
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After Andrew had gone back to bed, I still sat there, the light on, thinking about what he had said. Forgiveness. To be wiped completely clean, to have someone who loved you, no matter what your faults were… it seemed a complete fantasy.
Yet Andrew had assured me it was true.
Sighing, I fell back among the pillows. I still didn't understand. Maybe I never would. I closed my eyes then, and heaven sent me a great blessing… an uninterrupted night of sleep from that point on. The thoughts that troubled me faded away, and I sunk into peaceful oblivion.
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The next day, my last day with the Watsons, was uneventful for the most part. I was restless the entire day, and was glad that Stephie and Andrew had left the house. Instead of staying to help Carol, I went for a long, wandering walk about the grounds. Something was missing. Something was incomplete.
It hit me like a jolt- I couldn't stay here any more. I realized what had been bothering me for the past couple of days- Sam. I hadn't let myself think about him for an entire week, but after last night's episode, I was more willing to face my thoughts and fears.
After I had Leapt out, what had happened to him?
He had helped me so much, he had freed me from Lothos, and what had I done for him? Nothing. And now he was still out there, Leaping, while I had finally made it to a place I could call home.
It isn't right, was my first thought. And my second was- I have to do something.
As soon as I thought it, I knew it was true. I couldn't stay here any longer, or Lothos might catch up with me, find the Watsons… I couldn't let that happen. And I had to do something, anything, to help the man who had saved me.
And slowly, carefully, I came up with a plan. A plan that would hopefully eliminate the possibility of Lothos ever finding me, or the Watsons, and one that would help get Sam home once and for all. It all hinged on one thing, though.
I remembered that Sam had once mentioned that God had put us against each other. Was it possible- however remotely- that God controlled his Leaps? And if so, had He controlled the last two of mine, as well? It meant, as much as I didn't want to think about it, that God had rescued me from Lothos and Zoey- twice. And it also meant I wouldn't be able to carry out my plan without His help. And I wasn't sure He'd approve.
There was nothing I could do about that, though. I was determined to carry out this plan to the end, with or without God's help.
That night, I hugged my adopted 'family' tight before they went to bed. I couldn't tell them what I was planning, couldn't even give them a hint… but I wanted to say goodbye as best I could.
An hour after I was sure everyone was asleep, I stepped out of bed and crept quietly downstairs. As I reached the front door, I paused, and realized I couldn't leave without at least writing a note. So I turned back around, grabbed a piece of paper off the counter, and began to write.
To Andrew, Carol, and Stephie-
Thank you. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. You cared for me when no one else could, and I will be eternally thankful for that. However, I realize that there is something else I have to take care of, something I have to do. And I'm determined to do it. Please don't worry about me, and thanks again… for everything.
-Alia
I taped the note to the fridge, and slowly walked outside.
The moonlight spilled over everything, bathing everything in a soft, silver glow. I took a last glance back at the home I was so foolishly leaving behind. Then I bowed my head and closed my eyes, as I had seen the family do at the dinner table.
"God," I whispered, "If there is a God… and if You are the one who controls Sam's Leaps… I really need a favor. I know I've done nothing that makes me deserving of a favor, I've done things that are quite the opposite in fact… but I want to help Sam. I know, if You are the one controlling his Leaps, that it may be that You don't ever want him to come home… but I don't think that's quite fair. And I'm going to do every thing in my power to bring him home, even if it means hitch-hiking all the way to my destination and maybe dying in the process- so it would be easier if You just helped me and were done with it, okay?" The last part came out shaky; I wasn't quite sure how to phrase anything. I'd never prayed before, never thought I needed to- but I needed to now. And I was hoping… and praying… this would work... "Please…"
The almost familiar feeling came over me then- the blue light- and I Leaped.
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My surroundings solidified. The table lay in front of me, as I knew it would. The weapons lay there, too, ready for tomorrow's patrol. Minus one stun gun, that is.
I wasn't sure if a stun gun was lethal or not. But I knew it delivered a pack of electricity, and I knew it was sufficient to scramble the electronics of Lothos' circuits. Gun in hand, I glanced up towards the ceiling.
"I'm going to kill him, You know. If you have any objections, You'd better not Leap me," I said, softly. I was taking a risk, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to lie. Not now.
So I was still faintly surprised when the energy surrounded me once more, and even more to feel hints of amusement from all around me.
What is going on? I wondered. Is there something I don't know about?
But it was too late to wonder. The light had vanished again, and I found myself back in the familiar cavern where I had Leaped for the first time. A pang of terror flowed through me.
Have courage, Alia.
I took slow, faltering steps towards the corridor, glancing around and freezing when the security cameras focused on me. I was not stopped.
The corridor was lit with red light, same as the cavern. At the end of the hall waited Lothos. But that wasn't my destination, not yet.
I stopped at the third door on the right, and softly opened it. This was Zoey's room… or it had been Zoey's room, at least. The room was clean, with none of the usual clutter. Her things were gone. I looked around in confusion. Where was she?
Nervous, I stepped up to the computer consul, typed in a password, and looked up Zoey's name.
Subject Terminated.
I stepped away, shocked. Zoey was dead? How… I quickly typed in a query as to how she had died. I received a video transmission in response.
Watching the scene, I realized I recognized it. I saw myself in the video, along with Sam, Zoey, and Thames…
"Run, Sam, save yourself!"
"No!"
"Come on, Zoey, its you or me!"
Zoey cocked the gun.
I threw Sam to the ground.
Zoey fired.
I Leaped.
I got to see what happened afterwards, then. I watched as Angel Leaped back in, and fell to the ground, shocked.
"Lothos has lost her," said Thames, shocked.
"That's impossible," Zoey snarled. "She Leaped!"
"She didn't Leap back! We lost her!"
She turned towards Sam, hatred in her eyes. "But we still have you!"
Sam looked up from Angel long enough to shoot Zoey with Vivian's rifle before she could fire. Zoey fell backwards, crying out, along with Thames.
He pounded at the hand-link frantically, crying, "Zoey's dying! Leap her out! Leap her out!"
Red light swirled across the image for a moment, then faded. I was now looking at a scene in the Accelerator.
I watched as Thames went crashing in to the room, but he was too late. The blood seeped through the white Fermi suit, and Zoey gurgled in her throat, and she was silent.
The image faded and went out.
I don't know which shocked me more- that Zoey was dead, or that Sam was her killer.
Part of me understood that he had acted in self-defense. If he had done nothing, he would have died. Angel and Vivian might have died. He had done the right thing. And yet…
At least now I knew why Lothos had been unable to find me. Zoey, his link to me, was gone.
I took a deep breath and left the room. There was nothing there for me now. One of my tormentors was dead; I only needed to find the other to be able to rest in peace.
The terror blasted though me again, and I halted my footsteps outside the door to Lothos' chambers. How could I even think of doing this?
I had to. I knew it, too. This was something that was long overdue.
I flung open the door, vaulted over the desk, and held my gun at arm's length by what used to be a man's head. I watched as all the cameras in the room pivoted towards me in shock.
"Don't move, Lothos," I ground out. "Don't call your guards, don't try anything. Before you could do anything to me, I'd have scrambled your circuits with an electric shock. So don't move."
The terrifying voice sounded out from all around me again, as it had so long ago.
Alia.
It wasn't a question, at least it didn't sound like one. But I answered anyway.
"Yes, it's me. Alia. The Evil Leaper. Whatever you want to call me. But I'm not going to be your Leaper anymore, Lothos. I'm not your slave anymore. You don't own me."
I felt an ache in my head, but it was no more than that. Reaching up to feel the back of my head, I realized what had happened. "You can't control me anymore, can you? You can't deliver pain to me any more!"
The machine hummed all around me but said nothing.
"It's because Zoey is dead, isn't it?" I insisted. "She was the key, wasn't she?"
She taught you well.
"I wish I'd never had anything to do with her!" I spat. "Or you!"
Why have you come back, Alia?
I took a deep breath, to steady myself. Stay calm, Alia. Focus. "Because I'd love to see you dead. But I'd love to see Sam home even more."
I cannot bring him home. I have no power over him.
"Of course not. I don't want you to."
Then what do you wish to gain from this futile endeavor?
"I want the retrieval program, Lothos. You perfected it. I want it now. Or you die."
You will kill me anyway.
"If you do not cooperate, it is a sure death. If you cooperate, you stand the chance of being freed."
The computer considered that for a moment. Unless another 'random event' occurred, even I knew what the odds were like for him.
I will make a disk for their 'Ziggy' to download.
I laughed harshly. "Do you think I'm a fool? You would only infect it with a virus! No. I want it printed out, and on paper, so their scientists can analyze it for any bugs before programming it."
It is a long and complicated program. It would take an hour to print the entire program out, and then the stack would be a foot thick.
"I've got the time. Start printing."
You speak boldly. But will you be able to keep yourself in position for so long?
"Only time will tell."
That hour was the longest of my life. I never realized how standing in one position for an hour could kill your muscles. Now, I knew.
The paper continued piling up on the desk beside me, until it was a foot tall and taller. Finally, the last paper had been finished.
It is complete.
The computer sounded almost tired. I shoved the thought away.
"Do you know how much I hate you?" I demanded. "Do you really know how much pain you have caused me?"
Of course. That is all you are. Hate and pain.
Seething, I yelled, "That's not true!"
Anger and fear as well. You have no redeeming qualities, Alia. None that they would accept. They will never let you live, even if you bring them their precious retrieval program. You tried to kill their leader.
"No!"
Look inside yourself, Alia. You know that it's true.
"No! I…" But as I looked, I saw he was telling the truth. There was only anger and pain, fear and hate inside me. I couldn't stop it from overwhelming me, I couldn't…
I hated him. I hated him for torturing me, for making me face my true self, for making me the person I was today. I hated him!
I began to pull the trigger on the gun.
And stopped.
I took a long, shuddering breath to calm myself.
"What happened to you?" I asked, softly. "Why are you doing this?"
Power, Alia. It's all about power. You've felt it before; you feel it now that you hold my life in your hands. It is that power I crave.
You have the power, Alia! You can choose not to kill me!
"You were a man, once. What happened to you? Why are you like this?"
I was a scientist of great renown, once. That is all you need to know.
"No, it isn't! What happened?"
An accident.
"What accident?"
The machinery whirred, hummed, considering.
I had been developing life support machinery. During that time, I was involved in a car accident. My body was barely alive. They tested my own equipment on me, and I lived…but I could never leave the machine. There was no power in my body anymore.
The thin lips spread out in a grim parody of a smile.
But physical power is not the only power. The human mind is a wonderful thing, Alia- combined with artificial intelligence, there is nothing it cannot do. I am the most mentally powerful being in the world.
"And that wasn't even enough for you. You had to mess with time, too, destroying other people's lives because your own was destroyed!"
The machine did not answer.
I waited, trembling.
Are you going to kill me now?
I took a deep breath. Anger, fear, hatred- was that all there was of me? Was that all I was? That was all I was feeling right now. All I wanted to do was kill Lothos, then my life would be complete. I would be able to die knowing he was gone from the world. I would no longer have to be afraid.
But something stopped me. A flashback, of when I had turned a gun on the wrong person…. "If I kill you, I can go home…"
"No!" Sam shook his head vehemently. "No, not that way. Killing me will only add to his power or her power…whatever power…you have the power Alia. You can choose not to kill me!"
I…could choose…And now I had another choice. I had made the right choice last time. Did I have the strength to do it again? What was right and what was wrong, anyway?
"There's got to be an end…" I whispered, echoing words I had said long ago, in another lifetime.
And when it ends, what kind of a person do you want to be?
I didn't want any more blood on my hands. Not even Lothos'.
I held the gun out at arm's length, and walked slowly around to the back of the chair that projected from the giant computer. A long, thick bundle of wires ran from the chair to the computer. I glanced over at the machine, then grabbed the bundle of wires and ripped them from the wall. The man in the chair jerked, disconnected from the computer, but still living, thanks to the life-support.
"I'm not going to kill you, Lothos," I said softly, pointing the gun at the wall and pressing the trigger. Lines of electricity snaked up and down the machinery, grinding, shrieking, and died. The lights burnt out and all was still. "But I won't let you harm another again."
I stepped away from the giant, burned out computer, set down my gun, and picked up my bundle of papers. "I can't continue hating forever," I murmured. As I took another step backwards, the blue surrounded me once more, and I Leaped.