Grandfather Grimm

Jaina held the piece of glass between her fingers. It was shaped like a narrow diamond and sharp on both ends. Tapping into the Force, she carefully placed it onto the table upright. "Okay," she told Jacen, "it's your turn."

Big Anakin watched in silence as Jacen took an identical piece and placed it perfectly on top of the first one. "Rotate it," Big Anakin dared.

"What?" Jacen said. "But that will make it too hard."

"That's the point. How else will you get better at mastering the Force if you don't do more difficult things?"

Little Anakin watched Leia empty her fifth drink. "Excuse me," she said as she got up for another trip to the refresher. When she was out of earshot, Little Anakin leaned towards the apparition.

"Can you tell us another story?" His eyes were large and filled with hope.

"I don't know," Big Anakin said with a shake of his head. "What if your mother doesn't approve?"

"She'll be in there all night," the little one said while pointing towards the refresher. "Trust me."

The big one leaned back in the chair. "I don't like the idea of one of my direct descendants asking me to trust him. It doesn't feel right. I, of all people, should know."

"Pleeeeeeeeeese!" the twins added with smiles. "We'll be good."

Big Anakin felt his face twitch. At the same time, he could not resist the overwhelming power of three whimpering Force-sensitive children, especially since they were his own grandchildren. His face twitched again. "All right, fine. What do you want?"

"Finish that story from the Clone Wars," Jaina offered.

"Oooooh no!" Big Anakin said. "I'm not getting into trouble for that again. Try something else."

"Well, you think of something."

Big Anakin sighed, then sat up. "I got it. This is a story that was told to me during my own childhood, during my Jedi training. About a woman who wanted a baby."

"Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww!" all three children said collectively. Big Anakin loudly cleared his throat. The children fell silent.

"Thank you," Big Anakin continued. "Well, anyway, there was a woman who wanted a baby."

"Was she married?" Jacen asked.

"Yes! Now, there was a woman, and her husband," Big Anakin added, "who wanted to have a baby. Then, the following year, they had a baby boy. Unfortunately, she fell ill and died."

"Is that it?" Jaina asked. "That's not much of a story."

"No, that's not it!" Big Anakin insisted. "Now shut-up and let me finish!" All three children gasped as if he had insulted them. "I mean, be quiet. Please."

The trio nodded. "Okay," Anakin continued. "A few years later, the father married another woman. She had a beautiful daughter named Marlichan."

"Can you name her Jaina?" Jaina asked. "And the little boy can be Jacen."

Big Anakin cringed. "I don't think you want them to have those names."

"Why not?"

"Well, if you let me finish the story, you'll find out."

"Well, what's the boy's name?" Little Anakin asked.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LITTLE BOY'S NAME IS!" The children leaned back at the spirit's sudden outburst. Big Anakin covered his mouth.

"What's going on out there!" The refresher door opened, and Leia stepped into the room. "Father, are you harrassing my children?"

Big Anakin lowered his hands. "No. They're just overreacting. Right?" he asked the children. The look on his face suggested it would be a good idea to play along. All three nodded. Big Anakin smiled at Leia. "See?"

"Right," Leia said suspiciously. "I'm headed for the kitchen to make a snack. Any of you want anything?"

"I want a sandwich," Little Anakin suggested.

"Me too," the twins added in unison.

"Good," Leia said as she headed for the kitchen. Only Big Anakin heard her mumble, "You can't talk with food in your mouth."

Bless the Force for that, Big Anakin thought. "May I finish the story now?" Anakin asked when Leia was out of earshot. The children nodded. "Now where was I?"

"What about the children's names?" Jacen interrupted.

Big Anakin thought fast. "We'll call the boy Wes, and the girl Keeli."

"Why can't they be Jacen and Jaina?"

"Trust me on this. Now may I please finish the story?" The children fell silent again. "Thank you," Big Anakin said.

"So," he continued, "the father married this woman who had a daughter named Marlichan . . .I mean, Keeli," he quickly corrected. "The woman absolutely hated the little boy because the father paid him more attention. So, one day, after the father left for a long trip, she came up with a plan to get rid of the little boy.

"When he came home from school," Big Anakin said with a faraway look in his eyes, "the stepmother invited him into the house and took him into the back.

"'See the chest over there?' the woman asked him.

"'Yes,' he said.

"'Do you want an apple?' she asked.

"'Yes,' he said again.

"'Then look inside and take one.' Then the wicked woman opened the chest for Wes to look inside. He dropped to his knees and leaned his head over into the chest. Then she slammed the chest lid closed!"

Big Anakin covered his ears as the children screamed. "Stop! Stop!" he said. "You'll get into trouble!"

"What's going on in there!" Leia screamed from the kitchen. Her voice sounded more annoyed than frightened.

The children instantly stopped screaming. "Nothing!" they called back.

Big Anakin gave them a few moments before continuing. "So, before her daughter Keeli got home, she opened the chest and took the boy's head out. She placed his body into a chair outside and put his head on top. Then she tied a scarf around his head to keep it from falling over and placed an apple into his hand.

"Later that day, when Keeli came home from school, she saw the apple and asked, 'May I have a bite brother?' Of course, he didn't answer, so she went inside and told her mother about it.

"'What did he say?' the woman asked.

"'Nothing,' Keeli answered.

"'Then ask him again,' the wicked mother said. 'If he doesn't say anything, then hit him on the ear.' So Keeli went outside and asked for the apple again. Of course, Wes didn't say anything, so Keeli slapped him on the head, and it popped right off."

The children screamed again. This time, Jaina dove under the table. Jacen ran back to his bedroom. Little Anakin ran for the kitchen. Seconds later, Leia returned with Little Anakin in her arms. He was bawling loudly and leaving a combination of tears and drool on her shoulder.

Leia glared at Big Anakin. "What did you do!"

"Nothing!" Big Anakin said. "I was just telling them a story. I swear!"

"That's it!" Leia said. "From now on, you are forbidden from telling any more stories to my children. Ever!"

"But I haven't finished it yet. I haven't gotten to the part where the mother makes a stew out of the little boy."

Upon hearing this, Little Anakin's scream increased several pitches. "Anakin!" Leia called. No one knew if she were talking to her father or her son. She sat on the couch and bounced Little Anakin against her leg. She touched him through the Force to help him calm down. Jaina poked her head from under the table.

"Jaina!" Leia said. "Get up here. And find Jacen."

Jaina scrambled from under the table and ran to her bedroom to get Jacen. He was still drying his face when they returned. Leia mentally reached out to both of them as they approached her. They threw themselves against her and continued crying.

"See what you've done," Leia said to Big Anakin. "You may have permanently traumatized my children. What is wrong with you?"

Big Anakin snorted and rested his elbows against his knees with his chin in one hand. "There is just no getting along with you."

"Oh no," Leia said while waving her finger at him. "Don't go blaming this on me." On a whim, Leia flicked her hand at Big Anakin. His head jerked back as if she had slapped him across the forehead.

The impending argument was cut short when the door to Leia's bedroom opened. Han stomped into the living room. "What the hell is going on out here!"

Everyone stared at Han. The makeup was worse now than it was before. The lipstick somehow made its way across Han's chin, while the mascara covered his eyes and the bridge of his nose as if he were a masked superhero. The children suddenly began giggling.

"Stop it!" Leia said. She glanced back at Han and felt something form in her throat. She looked away and fought back the growing sensation. Then she started giggling.

"Leia?" Han asked. "What's going on out here?"

Leia rested her forehead against her fingers. She quickly began losing the struggle against the laughter.

"Leia?" Han took a step towards her before she exploded in a guffaw. "What's wrong?"

Big Anakin realized that Leia's reaction could not be distinguished between laughter and crying. She was obviously disguising it as crying.

"What's wrong?" Han repeated, this time with undeniable concern.

"I can't sleep," she answered in a panting voice. "I can't stop drinking, the kids won't go to bed, and my father's ghost is bothering me!" She "broke into tears" immediately afterwards.

Big Anakin leaned forward to look at her face. The distinction between laughing and crying was becoming increasingly blurred as Leia continued huffing and panting. Han walked to her and took Little Anakin from her arms.

Big Anakin put two fingers between his lips and let out a suggestive whistle. "Whooo, baby! Looking good! Who does your makeup!"

Leia reaction was a mixture of chortling and a hippup. When Han looked back at her, she instantly returned to the crying persona. "I'm all right," she said with a wave of her hand. "Really."

"I'll put the kids back to bed," Han offered. "Come on, you three."

"But Dad!" they started.

"No buts!" Han said. "Let's go! Now!"

Pouting, Jaina and Jacen stood and followed him back to their bedroom. When they disappeared, Leia looked at the spirit. She unconsciously raised her hand as if to Force slap him again. "What is wrong with you!" she repeated.

Big Anakin shrugged. "I just wanted to have some fun. You don't get to do that a lot after you die. You'd better calm down, or you'll blow up something vital and end up on my side of the universe."

Leia pointed two fingers at him. They were shaking in controlled rage. "When you were a Jedi, did you make it a point to make Obi-Wan Kenobi miserable?"

"A point? It was practically a way of life. I should have gotten paid for it."

"Perfect." Leia folded her arms and leaned back into the chair. She could see the beginnings of early morning twilight through the window. "Now what?" she asked.

"Well," Big Anakin offered, "since the kids are back in bed, I can finish telling you that story."

Leia rolled her eyes. "No thanks."

Author's Note: That horrible story Big Anakin told the children is based on "The Juniper Tree" by the Brother's Grimm. It's a real fairy tale.