Nathan, can of beer in hand, walked over to the crackling fire. He had wanted to be alone so he took a walk with the purpose of clearing his head. It hadn't worked. He had been trying to get things into perspective for weeks and so far nothing had changed. He was no closer to finding what he was looking for or finding peace or a resolution for all his thoughts and problems.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"Huh?" Nathan looked up.
He had barely noticed Dayton sitting a few feet away roasting a marshmallow.
"You just look so serious", she smiled. "But what else is new?"
He shrugged.
"Just thinking."
"About?"
"Stuff."
"You're always thinking, Nate."
He took a deep breath along with another sip.
"I know."
"And honestly, what does it do for you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I want to know. It's like you spend so much of your time thinking and trying to figure out life's divine plan or something. I just want to know what you get out of it besides a headache."
He thought for a minute.
"Honestly? I don't know."
"Then maybe that's the problem."
"What?"
"You think too much. And you know how to solve that problem?"
"How?" he threw her a bone.
"Don't think at all. Just be. Live. Feel."
It seemed so easy.
"I don't know if I can, Daytona. I don't know if I can be that guy."
"You used to be", she said softly. "And I remember him, too. You were happy then. You had peace in your heart."
Nathan closed his eyes.
"That was a long time ago."
"It was nice, wasn't it?"
"I guess."
"You know it was. You were better then and so was life. You might want to think about trying to get it all back."
"How?"
"By enjoying what you have. Living your life. Nate, you're a natural born athlete. You are so talented, it's sick. Do you know what most people would give to be able to have half the skill you have in not one but two sports? Enjoy that. You love what you do and that's okay. It's okay to love what you do and be proud of yourself. You need to start taking care of Nathan because if you don't, then who will? It's okay if you have to leave all that other stuff behind. Tree Hill, Lucas, Haley, your mom even. No one would blame you."
He used his boot to scuff at the dirt beneath his feet.
"I don't know, Daytona. It's hard leaving all that behind. It's like I'm stuck. This is what I've always wanted and now I have it and I'm here and things couldn't be going better but it's like a part of me keeps getting pulled back to Tree Hill. I try to fight it but I can't."
"Why?"
"I don't know. A part of me is still there and I keep looking for it."
She half smiled.
"Ah. The famous search for something more. Maybe there is something else out there for you, Nate. Maybe it's away from here or maybe it's where you thought you left it in North Carolina. Or…or it could be right here. And you just don't know it. You can't see the things in front of you because you're blinded."
"You don't understand…"
"We all have things in our past that maybe we're running from or we wish that we could run to and change somehow. But you can't change the past no matter how hard you try. And if you spend all your energy in the present trying to do so, then it's just a waste of time subtracted from what could maybe be a happy future."
Nathan closed his eyes and a faint smile crossed his lips.
"When did you get so smart?"
Daytona grinned.
"For your information, I have always been this smart. Remember the stuff I said about you being to blind to see the things in front of you? It's your loss that you have spent all these years missing out on my brilliance."
"I may have missed the brilliance but unfortunately I didn't miss that smart mouth."
"I prefer quick wit but whatever", she joked. "Now seriously. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
"You know I'm right."
"Probably."
"You'll think about what I said?"
"But I thought you said I shouldn't think anymore."
Daytona balled up a piece of paper and hit him square on the side of the head.
"Jerk! When did you start listening to me?"
"About five minutes ago", he teased. "No, it's cool. For real. I mean, life isn't so bad."
"It could definitely be worse."
"It could."
She sighed and nodded.
"Can I interest you in a marshmallows, Mr. Lee?"
"Maybe later. I had to find out the hard way once upon a time that marshmallows and beer really don't mix."
"Spare me the details", she laughed. "I've heard and unfortunately seen most of the horror stories from all the adventures you and Cooper have gone on."
"Speaking of, where are the Coopster and the other guys?"
Daytona rolled her eyes.
"First of all they went bear hunting. And when that brilliant idea didn't work out, they decided to go ghost hunting."
"Great", Nathan laughed out loud. "We sharing our tent with the Blair Witch tonight?"
"They got drunk and passed out before they could find her. Looks like it's just you and me."
It was something about the way she completed the last part of her sentence. "Just you and me", sounded softer, almost hopeful even. And it didn't go unnoticed by Nathan.
"Uh yeah", he said nervously. "Just you and me."
A night wind blew causing them both to shudder.
"The temperature is really dropping", Daytona observed, pulling the thin jacket closer to her body.
"Yeah. It's gonna get pretty cold out here tonight. You might want to put on another jacket."
"I didn't bring anything else."
He looked at her thin material.
"You okay?" he watched the breeze blowing through her hair. "You're shaking."
"I'm fine…"
Nathan reached into his bag and pulled out a blanket.
"Here. Use this for tonight."
"And what are you going to do?"
"I'll be fine."
"Nathan, I can't take your blanket."
"It's cool. Besides, my jacket is thicker anyway. I'll be okay once I get in the tent. Actually, I'm kind of tired. If you're gonna be okay, I was gonna go lie down…"
"I'm fine but I feel bad about he blanket."
"Don't worry about it."
"Well at least come over here and warm your hands by the fire before you go to sleep."
That was a good idea and Nathan slowly rose . He sat behind but blushed as their bodies touched. It had happened so many times before but something was slightly different about this time.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. You know, Nate we could…I mean, we could share the blanket and stuff. The tent is big enough. There's no use in being cold if we don't have to be."
Nathan swallowed hard. Why did that notion suddenly make him feel nervous?
"Uh, uh…yeah. I guess. I mean whatever."
She hoped the darkness camouflaged her reddening face.
"We've done it like a hundred times before…"
"Excuse me?"
"Sleep together. I mean, you know, camping…the same tent and stuff. When we were little…"
"Yeah", he cleared his throat. "It's no big deal."
No big deal? He wondered why he had never noticed how pretty she looked when her hair blew in the wind? Or how nice her fruit scented shampoo smelled.
"Um, okay…"
They put out the fire and situated their things before climbing in the tent. Nathan kicked off his boots and his body lie stiff as a board as she slid next to him.
"You comfortable?" he asked.
"Yeah. You?"
He smiled.
"It beats laying next to Cooper's ass", he half joked.
She laughed as well as she looked at him. They were both surprised at the visibility inside the tent and how good it was. Their eyes remained permanently locked.
"Um, good night", she said in almost a whisper.
Nathan stared at her.
"Yeah…night."
She reached up and couldn't resist or contain herself. Daytona placed a soft kiss on Nathan Lee's even softer lips.
"I'm sorry", she instantly winced, embarrassed. "I shouldn't have. That was a mistake. I didn't meant to."
"Daytona…"
"It's okay. I'll sleep in the other tent…"
"Wait", he grabbed her arm. "It's okay. I mean, it's cool. You don't have to leave. I…I don't want you to leave."
He had no idea where the words were coming from but he just knew that he meant them, at least at that moment.
"Okay."
He pulled her back down and she placed her head on his chest just listening to the sound of his heartbeat.
"Good night, again", he said, his voice breaking with laughter.
"What's so funny, you?" she looked up at him.
"Nothing. It's cool. It's just that…"
"Say it. Spit it out."
Nathan raised his eyebrows.
"I bet you've been dying to do that forever", he teased.
"You are so conceited", she rolled her eyes.
"Am I lying?"
Daytona looked right at him.
"No", she said truthfully. "You're not. I guess I've been waiting for a long time to do that."
Her heart pounded and her palms became sweaty. She had flirted with Nathan in a friendly way before but nothing like that. She had actually, finally kissed him and now she was putting some of her feelings out on the table. It was a scary thing.
He smiled at her as he tucked hair behind her ear.
"And how was it?" he asked in a serious, breathy tone.
She smiled at him.
"Definitely worth the wait."