Chapter 3
"Hey little bro you left early this morning" Gretchin said to pacey whilst unpacking the groceries pacey had bought. "Yeah I just needed to get some air and think you know" pacey told Gretchin whilst getting a drink of orange juice. "Run into a beautiful girl who goes by the name of Joey potter did ya?" Gretchin aksed looking concerned. "How did you know that" Pacey asked dumbfounded "let's just say that I know your pinning after miss potter look far too well, so how are you guys last time I was here you weren't speaking and you were both in absolute agony" Gretchin asked giving her brother a hug. "Well unfortunately only one of us still feels that way" Pacey said sadly "I know you love her Pacey, but if you feel you are doing the right thing then nine out of ten times it is the right thing, did you tell her about those courses you taking?" Gretchin asked hopeful that he had, yet knowing her little brother like she did she knew full well he hadn't. "No, I couldn't bring myself to tell her she would have gotten all hopeful about the two of us getting back together and I just couldn't put her through it all again Gretch, she deserves better than that" pacey answered slouching down on the couch and taking in a deep breath. Gretchin felt for her little brother and as much as she knew pacey and Joey were meant to be together she was glad In some way that the never ending love triangle that was pacey Joey and Dawson had finally come to a halt. " I know its none of my business pace, but you need to know that she really did love you, you know she thought the world of you and while you were away with Doug I found out just how much she loved you" Gretchin finished already knowing that she shouldn't have said what she just said yet Gretchin had a remarkable talent of letting secrets slip. "When did she come to you Gretchin" Pacey asked but got no reply he could see from Gretchin's expression that she hadn't meant to tell him and this angered and panicked him "What happened while I was away gretchin" pacey asked in a very calm yet angered voice. Gretchin knew she had given too much away now to not tell him. "Look pace I don't want you to freak out and I am only telling you this because I love you and I wanted you to know just how much Joey wanted to be with you and that no matter what she would have stuck by you…" she trailed off she could see by Pacey's expression that he was getting really mad at being kept in the dark.
"She…..she thought she was pregnant and she came to find you and she was really upset and I told her I would get you to ring her as soon as you got back from your fishing trip with Doug, only I told her where you really was…I am so sorry pace" Gretchin finished with tears in her eyes.
"I cant believe this so not only was she scared upset and needed me and I once again failed to take care of her but I lied to her when she asked where I was and she knew I was lying, Gretchin!" Pacey shouted "You……you should have told me" Pacey screamed now crying. "I know I should Pace but she asked me not to because she didn't want to worry you and then when she found out it was a false alarm…" Pacey cut her off mid sentence "That Gretchin is completely besides the point, she needed me and you never told me, and I lied to her……. I lied and I failed to be here when she needed me most!" Pacey screamed and stormed out of the door, knocking all the groceries off the table as he went, Gretchin called after him but he kept on running.
Pacey ran up Joey's porch and banged hardly on the door "Joey are you in I need to speak to you" he shouted, Joey answered the door a little confused and scared when she saw the expression on his face and she knew he was mad and had been crying. "What's wrong pace" she asked grabbing her coat from inside and going outside as not to wake Alexander who was asleep on the couch.
"Why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant? Why did you let me lie to you about where I was with Doug? Joey was silent. "Gretchin told me, she told me that you came looking for me and that you was upset and then when I called you, you let me lie to you Joe, why?" Pacey finished and took a deep breath. Joey completely in shock at Gretchen's betrayal remained quiet for a moment and then answered "It doesn't matter pace why I did it, it still wouldn't have changed anything, and it doesn't change anything, you left me pace, you left me and it is irrelevant and too painful to go down that route again". Joey finished her face frozen and blank, she refused to go down memory lane again only to drench up the past, she refused to get upset about pacey any longer he ended it and he would have to deal with it she thought to herself. "That's it…that's all you're going to say?" Pacey shouted he didnt know why he was mad at her, it was him who wasn't there for her, it was him who had once again let her down but for some reason he was mad and he refused to let It lie. "Goodbye Pace" Joey said and left him standing on the porch alone once more.
Darius –Don't leave now lyricsDon't leave now
Not yet
There were time we regret
And I'm sorry
Somehow
I only
Wanted to make you proud
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
When you told me
I froze
It still echoes
In my soul
Please forgive me
If I didn't say
I love you
Every single day
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
Nobody told me we'd only get one chance
I didn't know that our tide would turn so fast
Why we have to say goodbye I don't understand
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
I could not let it pass me by
Nothing I give to sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
We'll meet in another life
If only we could live twice
Joey found it hard to sleep that night she tossed and turned into the early hours of the morning, her mind was like a broken record replaying over and over again the evenings events and the look on Pacey's face cut her deep. She wanted to tell him she wanted to cry, scream and tell him that she loved him, but she had decided that If he wasn't prepared to share his feelings with her and also because there was no prospect of getting back together it was time to move on. As hard as it was it needed to be done she couldn't go to college pinning over Pacey, especially when he hadn't even hinted or shown any signs of them getting back together. That was one self-loathing and self-deprecating route she did not want to embark on. Besides she didn't want to put Pacey through it all again, she hated how she made him feel, she had tried on countless occasions to convince him that he many qualities he should be proud of, he was honourable, loyal and sweet, but instead it just him more angry at her and in her view she wasn't good for him.