4 March
Figured out why my record player doesn't work: too much MAGIC, Tonks! I really must be going mad. I thought if I bought one and only used it from time to time, SURELY it would work if I wanted it to badly enough. I never learn…things don't just work out because I want them to.
And speaking of that…
I saw Remus face-to-face FINALLY, and I was all set for it to be a somewhat romantic visit, considering we've both confessed love. However, it turned out to be horrible. The moment I brought love into the picture, he immediately started going on about how he's too old for me (which is not really that true, it's not nearly as big a difference as there is between Nellie Harleton and her husband – they've got twenty-six years between each other!) and too poor (as though I care about that) and too dangerous (right, because he's such a horrible bloke, sure to strike at any moment). I very politely told him that he was being a git and that I didn't care about any of that, but he stood really firm by his point.
Needless to say, the day went nowhere. I didn't even get a peck on the forehead as comfort, though he did hug me. I feel sort of empty and confused now, because he's just denying both of us happiness by being all noble and such. I think he might also be thrown off by my attraction to him, but seriously, he really ought to get over that.
I like to run around with odd hair and act like a silly thing half the time (I can get serious when needed, but I really do prefer to be fun), and he's so dignified most of the time. I mean, he can be playful, but usually he's quite serious…but he's just so kind that I can't help but love him. Most of the people who are attracted to me are punk guys who think they could get away treating me like dirt, and I don't go for that. I know Remus would treat me with nothing but respect.
I've stopped making sense, I think, so I'm off to bed for tonight.
8 March
Kingsley wrote to me to tell that he heard of a pack of werewolves attacking a lot of wizards in Leeds, which is where Remus was stationed last I heard. I panicked and I immediately ran off to find Dumbledore to see if he'd heard anything, but he wasn't there. I ran into Harry, but I was so distracted that I wasn't exactly good company.
I'm really nervous now that Remus has been hurt, and I tried to get in touch with Kingsley through the fireplace, but he wasn't home. I just hope he'll be all right, because I think I would completely crack up if anything happened to him.
14 March
Turns out Remus is okay, but he wrote to tell me to stop worrying about him. Yes, Remus, I'll stop that right away, since it's no difficulty not to worry about your best friend (who is also the man you love) as he runs around with a pack of known killers on a monthly basis in a town he is unfamiliar with and while the most evil Dark wizard to date is ordering immediate death for anyone in the Order. Yes, yes, I'll stop worrying this very moment, you mad thing.
Kingsley Flooed over to have a visit and talk about some Order business, which was nice of him. It was good to see him again. He and I did indeed drift to the topic of more personal business, but I didn't say much about Remus. I'm still a little embarrassed about the whole ordeal, since most people would look at me and say that it's a silly infatuation to have. I don't think Kingsley would say or think any such thing, though, but I'm still not really close enough with him to talk about it. Mostly we just talked about general worry for everyone.
He's a good bloke, really, and we're getting to be better friends every day, so maybe at some point we'll be comfortable enough with each other to have a love-life chat. But I think one at this point in our friendship would scare him out of his wits.
-Tonks
22 March
It's so hard to be angry with someone when they're being very sweet to you.
I talked with Molly the other night about Sirius. I'm really beginning to accept it all a bit more, and I don't feel as guilty about it, but I still miss him. I feel really cheated of a good friend and better cousin. She and I got into laughing a bit about some happier memories about him, which was nice.
Anyway, she and I also talked (of course) about Remus, and she suddenly remembered to go get something from her living room. When she came back, she had a little package wrapped in brown paper for me. She said Remus had sent it along ages ago, but that she hadn't seen me in so long that it had slipped her mind. I opened it, and it turned out to be a large crystal. He'd attached a little note to it:
Tonks –
I know this isn't much of a present, but I'm sure you'll appreciate it all the same. This is a bloodstone, a crystal that is meant to represent and give courage to the holder of it. I know you are not lacking in the slightest in bravery, but I still thought of you when I saw it. I hope you had a happy Christmas, and I hope to see you very soon.
Love,
Remus
He signed it "love"! And this was ages ago! I couldn't believe how wonderful it was. Molly said he'd sent it just after Christmas at great personal risk, so I did feel a bit of guilt for that, but all I wanted to do was find him and tell him how perfect it was. I wrote to him tonight, so I'm waiting to hear back. I hope he writes soon.
-Tonks
5 April
Remus wrote back. He said how glad he was that I liked my gift and that he hoped to see me soon. I was a bit disappointed in the brevity of the letter, but I know he means well. He does love me, after all, even if he's being a prat about the whole thing.
-Tonks
16 April
Reedbuck got promoted, and I don't know why. Kingsley is stumped as well. There are rumours circulating that gold was exchanged, but I don't know anything about it. I really hate Reedbuck quite a lot.
19 April
Gold was indeed exchanged, but none of us can do a thing about it since the donation wasn't "explicitly an enticement for a promotion" (Scrimgeour's words, not mine). Kingsley said that since he's still ahead of Reedbuck and holds rank over him, he's going to try and do a bit of digging into him to see if he's really trustworthy. I'm having my doubts at the moment. All this gold talk seems to have shades of Lucius Malfoy, if you ask me.
30 April
I was wrong about Reedbuck, it turns out. The gold he passed Scrimgeour went to help fund the ward in St. Mungo's that helps treat (of all things) werewolf attacks. Odd, since Reedbuck despises werewolves (narrow-minded git), but there's no record saying whether he specified which ward it could go to, which means there's no record that says he actually intended the money for St. Mungo's in the first place. Once I'm back at the Ministry headquarters, I'll be having a word with Kingsley about our paperwork system.
Speaking of Kingsley, his neighbour was arrested for attempting to conjure the Dark Mark, just to see if he could do it. It came out wrong, but Aurors were called to the residence anyway, and it caused such a ruckus that Scrimgeour ordered his arrest on the charges of falsifying an emergency situation. I doubt the bloke can be held long on that, considering how much space we're going to need in Azkaban for the Death Eaters when – and I do say when – we catch them all.
-Tonks
A/N: Hello my loves…I'm sorry it's been so slow going with all these hundreds (well, three or so) stories I've got, but I'm trying to balance writing these with writing my own novel and school and being Titania in "A Midsummer Night's Dream"…so you can see the problem. I'll have the rest of it out as soon as possible.