When I woke up I glanced at the clock. It was 7:30 PM, I stretched myself and sat up. 'Jetlagged much.' I muttered to myself getting out of bed. I pulled my robe on and slippers walking down the hall and the stairs in search of anyone with a pulse. 'Hello?'
It was eerily quiet inside the house but once I made it to the back I heard voices in the back yard. I walked towards the sound and was amazed by the garden. It was huge, a big outdoor swimming pool at the side with rocks and everything. 'Hello?'
'Stacy!' Mike tackled me from the side.
'Mike watch out!' We stumbled towards the water and soon we hit it with a loud splash. When I came up for air I gasped whipping my hair out of my face. 'MIKE! Dammit.' I scowled.
'Sorry! My bad.'
'You're bad? Ugh Mike!' I wadded over to the side and Chad helped me out once he was done laughing at me. 'Ha ha very funny.'
'Maybe you should get dressed.'
'Yeah maybe.' I shot Chad an amused look before walking back to my room. I had to chuckle about it, Mike was always as excited as a loyal puppy.

Once I was showered and dressed I made a second attempt to walk into that garden. Eyeing Mike as I made my way over to the chair. 'Hi again.' I smiled.
'How was the shower?' Marianne wondered as she poured me a glass of cola.
'Aw man its great! I love that bathroom.' I nodded. 'Which reminds me, where did you buy those towels? Their so fluffy.'
'Are you sure you brought Stacy back from the airport little brother?' Mike spoke up. 'Cause it doesn't sound like her.'
'It's been 10 years since we last saw her. Things change.' Ryan replied matter of factly before bringing the bottle of beer to his lips.
'Stop talking about me as if I'm not here.' I pouted crossing my arms. 'Besides; what's so different?'
'The way you dress for one.' Mike smirked.
'I always wore stuff like this.' I look down at my black top and jeans. 'I swear to god. When I wear a dress Josh starts to nag, when I wear this you lot start to nag. Where does it end?'
'I think you look nice.' Marianne piped up. 'What do they know? Their men.'
'Very true.' I agreed. 'Look at what their wearing!'
'What?' Mike pointed at his shirt. 'Diesel, it's a brand.'
'It's also a fuel.' I smirked. 'And a bit plain.'
Mike looked as if he was thinking about my words and then his face lit up. 'Well I knew you were coming so I figured I didn't have to wear anything special.'
I gasped exaggeratedly. 'You don't want to dress up for me?'
'Mike never knew when to impress someone.' Ryan chuckled.
'So you do like what I'm wearing then?'
'It's different but yeah.'
'What's so different from way back when?' I asked. 'It's not as if I changed so much.'
'I don't know, it's just different.' Chad shrugged.
Ryan smiled. 'It's the person in the clothes who changed… for the better off course!' he added quickly when I shot him a look.
'Well, I don't know. I think it was good for me to leave to England when I did. It did me a lot of good, met new people and made new friends.' I replied resolutely.
'Did you even miss us woman?' mike pouted.
'Duh, off course I did. I've never met anyone like you besides off course… you.'
Chad laughed pointing at me. 'You're starting to confuse yourself again!'
'Shut up Kroeger boy. When's dinner anyway?'
'We're waiting on Ryan's wife and daughter. We're going out for dinner.'
The air was knocked out of me. 'You're wife and daughter?' I asked trying to keep my voice from breaking.
Ryan frowned at Chad before answering. 'Yeah.'
'Cool. Well I erm… I'm gonna go change since we're going out.' Before anyone could object I fled from the garden trying to figure out why I was so thrown off by this. Did I really expect things between Ryan and me to be like they were ten years back? Just then the phone started ringing stopping my whirl of thoughts. 'Hello?'
'Stacy?'
'This is Stacy.' I answered.
'It's James.'
'Oh hi.'
'Wow, don't break anything by being so enthusiastic.'
I sighed. 'Sorry. How are you?'
'I'm good. Just called to see if we're still on for Saturday?'
'Yep we are.' I nodded though I knew he couldn't see. 'Is it okay if I bring Chad? I don't want to get lost y'know?'
'Sure, no problem.' James told me where we were meeting and what time. 'So we'll meet then?'
'Y-yeah, that's cool.' We said good bye just as I reached my room. I walked in and let myself fall face forward onto the bed. 'Get a grip Stacy.' My voice was muffled by the blankets.
The door opened and I moaned frustrated knowing it was Ryan. 'Stacy, what's wrong?'
'Nothing, just jetlagged you know?'
'Oh come on! You were doing fine until Chad told you my wife and baby were coming.'
'Well it kinda surprised me okay?' I sat up looking at him. 'I didn't expect that.'
Ryan joined me by sitting on the bed next to me. 'You couldn't have thought we still had a chance for a thing right?'
I frowned. 'Off course not!' I lied. 'What on earth makes you think that Ryan?'
'I don't know. All I know is that you're the one who left me, and I gave up trying when you didn't want to talk to me. I moved on.'
'So did I okay?' I answered. 'A-a-as a matter of fact, I'm meeting up with my boyfriend this Saturday.' 'Nooooo! Why did you go and say that for? Idiot!'
'Who is he?'
'James Hetfield.' I answered as smugly as I could. I walked to the closet and looked through the clothes.
'ing Hetfield? Yeah right!'
I turned around at the sound of his voice. Sadness made room for anger when he spoke to me like that. 'You don't think I can get with someone like that Ryan?'
'No as a matter of fact I don't.' he crossed his arms. 'I think you're making it all up. He's married for 's sake.'
'hole in one' 'I can't believe you're saying this!'
'if it's true then I'm coming with you on Saturday.'
'And what makes you think I'd want you too?' I asked in a last attempt to keep him home.
'He's you're boyfriend… don't you want to show him off?'
'Unlike my other boyfriends he's not some big fluffy show puppy.' I poked my tongue out. We heard the doorbell ring. 'Oh… wife and kid. Hurry along now.'
As soon as Ryan scowled at me and walked out the door I closed it behind him and ran to my phone. I pressed speed dial number two and waited.
'Josh Herin'
'Josh! I ed it up!'
'Already?' He laughed.
'Don't laugh! I really did something stupid this time.' I told him about the flight and how I met James Hetfield. After explaining who he was and what I said to Ryan, Josh was already planning my wedding. 'Josh, stop it! I'm not getting married! I'm not even with James.' I hissed. 'Not even ing close! I don't even like him that way. Oh god. What did I get myself into now?' I took a deep breath and fanned myself while I paced the bedroom.
'Stace, relax and breathe. I know you, you're probably turning purple. What you're gonna do is the following.' He replied in a drawling tone of voice.

About half an hour later I was calmed down, dressed in new attire and the knowledge that things would be okay. I put a smug look on my face while I walked down the stairs. When I reached the last step I was faced with Chad. 'What happened with you and Ryan?'
'Nothing happened. Why?'
Chad crossed his arms and stared into my eyes. 'Stacy.' He spoke my name slowly and with a hint of warning.
'Fine! He threw the whole wife and kid thing on me so I,' I took the last step and started walking away from Chad. 'I kinda told him James Hetfield is my boyfriend.'
'What?' He grabbed my arm and pulled me back. 'Does he know this?'
I didn't reply. 'Stacy! Why did you say that?'
' if I know! It was out of my bloody mouth before I knew it. Please don't tell Ryan. I will be humiliated for life!'
Chad sighed. 'I'm not telling him. You are.'
'Yeah… but not today!'
'There she is!' Marianne's voice announced herself and a brunette whom I guessed was Ryan's wife. 'Stacy, meet Gabrielle.'
'Hi.' I put on my most charming smile. 'Nice to meet you.'
'And you, Ryan has told me a lot about you.' She smiled back.
'He tells me you have a little girl together?' By now I was forcing the words out of my mouth and trying not to let them see or hear it.
Gabrielle nodded and called for Ryan. I closed my eyes letting out the softest sigh and when I opened them I was facing the cutest little baby face I ever saw. 'Meet Sandy.' Ryan spoke up. He practically forced the baby into my arms.
'Hey Sandy.' I cooed. 'Aren't you a pretty little girl? How old is she?'
'6 months.' Gabrielle said.
I forced another smile. This could've been my baby, my husband had I not left.
'Ryan tells us you and James Hetfield are together?' Marianne piped up. 'Why didn't you tell me?'
'Ah well you know? Ha… yeah.' I shrugged moving my foot over the floor checking it for cracks that could open up and swallow me to the underworld. 'I'm shy that way.'
'Let's stop chatting and get going, I'm hungry!' never have I been more happy with Mike. My hero of the day.
'Yes Mike is right.' I saw Chad's look and quickly turned to hand Sandy over to Gabrielle and get my jacket. 'I'm famished!'

'Great restaurant.' I looked over the menu and already saw about ten things I didn't know what it was because it was in French.
Marianne leaned into me. 'I never know what it says. I usually let Chad order for me.'
'Oh I know what it all means.' I glanced at Chad who gave me a disapproving look.
'How about I order for us all?' Mike asked.
'That sounds great!' I was starting to feel sick with myself. I knew Nick would be turning in his grave, not because of shame but laughter.
Mike ordered our meals and we were having a really good time drinking wine. I found I had a lot in common with Gabrielle and Marianne. Everything was going great; nobody mentioned James yet this evening. Maybe they would all forget about it!
'Stacy, what a coincidence.' I stiffened and didn't dare to turn around but knew I had to.
'James.' it's karma… I know it is. I am being punished. I'll be reincarnated in a next life as a dung beetle.' 'What a surprise.' I choked.
'James Hetfield.' Chad jumped up and shook his hand. 'What are you doing here?'
'I was here earlier and Lars left his phone.' He showed it to us. 'I'll better leave you to it.'
'No way man! You're Stacy's boyfriend, stay with us. You're more than welcome.'
I was about ready to die when Mike opened his mouth. I didn't dare to look at him but from the corner of my eyes I saw Ryan put a chair between me and Gabrielle for him. I felt my cheeks burn with shame, what must he think of me? James didn't say a word but sat down and to my amazement put his arm around me. He planted a kiss on my cheek. 'Well when Stacy told me she was going to meet up with her old friends I figured I'd leave you all to it. You know?'
Now I did look at him, in amazement.
'Are you having fun darlin'?' he asked.
'Y-yeah baby.' I answered. 'It's been so long since I saw them and… yeah. How's Lars?'
'Lars is great.' James answered he winked at me and all I could do was try not to open my mouth to wide. I was so grateful that he covered me.
'I thought you were married James.' Ryan suddenly asked. I held my breathe wondering how he was going to react. He arm on my shoulder tightened around me. 'We broke up quite a while back.' I glanced at his hand, the ring was gone yet it had been there in the plane, or wasn't it?
Soon he was deep in conversation with Chad, Mike, Nik and Ryan about music and his hand lay contently on my leg as if it was what he always did. Everyone seemed to buy it and I felt happy for the first time in months. I was content with just listening to Marianne and Gabrielle, I sat back sipping my glass of champagne, my stomach full when James softly squeezed my leg. I looked up and he leaned in. 'I think we need to talk?'
I nodded in reply not sure if he wanted to talk right now or later tonight but he stood up. 'I really have to go now. Stacy, can you walk me to the car?'
'Off course.' I nodded again and got up as well. 'I'll be right back.' I smiled at Marianne who was rocking Sandy in her stroller.

'Boyfriend huh?' James asked chuckling softly when we got outside.
'Ryan cornered me with some news and I didn't think and I just told him that, I'm really sorry. I'm really not crazy even though you must think that right now.'
James shook his head. 'I don't think that.'
'You do.' I pouted. 'And I can't blame you. I always manage to make a mess out of things.'
'I didn't mind to play you're boyfriend for tonight but I think you will need to tell them the truth eventually.'
I nodded. 'I know… only Chad knows the truth right now.'
'Tell Ryan. I honestly think that guy is not over you. He kept throwing me looks all through dinner.'
'I don't care. He's married and he's got a little girl now. There's no place for me in his life anymore.'
James pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. 'Just don't invite anyone for our imaginary wedding huh.'
'Ass.' I slapped his back weakly while I laughed.
'What shall we call our imaginary baby?'
'James Junior?' I triggered an outburst of laughter from James. 'Glad you think it's all funny.'
'To be quite frank, I haven't laughed like this in a long time. I've known you for what? About 16 hours and I feel more comfortable with you than Lars at the moment.'
'Wanna talk about it?'
James pulled out of our hug, shoving his hands into his pockets. 'Nah, I don't wanna bore you with my crap.'
I snorted. 'And I didn't with my crap?'
'True.' James winked and kissed my cheek again. 'Are we still on for Saturday.'
'Oh! Ha… yeah… About that.' I started nervously. 'Chad and Ryan want to come along.'
'Will I still be you're boyfriend?'
'I'm not looking forward to telling Ryan the truth but I will before its Saturday.' I sighed. It was gonna be the hardest thing I would have to do not to mention the humiliation of telling everyone James wasn't really my boyfriend but just a guy I met on an airplane.
James was silent for a few minutes. 'Let them think whatever they wanna think okay? Don't worry so much about what they think about you.'
'You don't understand.' I shook my head. 'I can't tell them about all my , they will feel sorry for me and I don't want that.' I felt tears starting to burn their way to the surface and I frowned blinking them away.
'Hey,' James rubbed my upper arms with his hands. 'You know they say it's easier to talk to someone you hardly know than someone you've known for ages… If you need to talk I'm here for ya.'
'Why are you being so nice to me?'
'I don't know Stacy; I just get a good feeling around you. That's what I need right now.'
'Aah so you're using me?'
James laughed. 'You're silly. Go inside, it's cold… I'll call you.'
'Yeah okay.' I watched James get into the car. 'See you.'
'Good luck.' He added.

That night we came home late. It was a lot of fun and I was extremely tired but still I hadn't told anyone about my lie. I lay in bed in the dark thinking about how great James had been about this all. If it had been me in his shoes I would've been angry. James was great, he had been so sweet and I felt it too. The comfortable feeling I got from being around him. Would it be so bad to have a relationship with him? He was cute, considerate. 'Ugh what are you thinking about! You've know the guy for a day, you don't know, know him.' I turned around pulling the blankets with me and I tried to think about something else. But the last thought on my mind was James.

I woke up at 6 am cursing at myself for waking up so early; on the other hand it seemed to become a normal thing for me ever since Nick got sick. I sat up and rubbed my eyes before heading to the shower. There was no chance I was going to get sleep now.
I undressed and turned the water tap on. Moments later I stepped into the shower and allowed myself to relax under the streams of hot water. My mind became foggy and all bad memories of the previous day seemed to drift away. After a few minutes I opened my eyes and grabbed the shampoo to wash my hair.
When I came out of the shower I took the time to look at myself long and hard. I shook my head when I felt ashamed for what I did and then tried to talk myself out of feeling just that. 'You're wrong.' I told my reflection. My phone rang in the bedroom so I quickly made my way over to it before it woke anyone up. 'Stacy.' 'The deceiving lying idiot'
'It's Mrs Hendriks.' The voice on the other end announced. 'Nicks mother.'
'Yes hello Mrs Hendriks, how are you?' I clutched the towel around me and sat down on the side of my bed.
'I've been alright considering. I was cleaning out Nick's room and I found some stuff you might want to have.' I could hear she was having trouble keeping her emotions in check.
'Is it possible for you to send them out to me? Or shall I ask Josh to come by?'
'Ask Josh, I have stuff for him too.'
'I will do that Mrs Hendricks.' I spoke softly.
Mrs Hendricks scraped her throat. 'How are you feeling?'
'I miss him.' I answered simply. 'I'm trying to move on but it's just hard.'
'I know sweetheart… I feel the same way.' She sniffed. 'I will call Josh… And I will talk to you soon.'
'Alright, and thank you Mrs Hendricks.'
'Welcome dear.'
We hung up and I sat there wondering what stuff she had for me. I was sure josh would send them out to me soon. After a few minutes I got up and continued dressing myself before I went down for some coffee. This day had a harder start than the days before.

That morning was slow. I came down and discovered nobody was up yet and by the time it was 8 AM I was still alone but now I was hungry too. I decided to make coffee and found some bread in the cupboard. I made toast and took my breakfast outside where the sun was warming the terrace. I sat myself down and sipped my coffee enjoying the rays of sun on my face.
'I was thinking about Hanna yesterday.' I jumped at Ryan's voice.
'Ryan, what are you still doing here?'
'I just came in to record some stuff.' He shrugged.
'I see.'
'When did you stop being happy?'
I eyed him wearily. 'What do you mean?'
'With me, us.' Ryan sat down on another chair and eyed me. I knew there was no way out of this.
'Gee, never thought being reunited with you lot would bring so much drama.' I joked but Ryan wasn't amused. 'You and the guys were leaving me. You were on the way of being famous and I knew you wouldn't need me anymore. I just figured I'd protect my heart and leave you before you could do it to me.'
Ryan nodded taking in my words. 'So that's why?'
'Yes the truth. I was afraid to be left alone in the end and loosing you all. I figured it would be selfish if I asked you not to go. Then the opportunity to go to England came and I just took it.' I watched Ryan closely. 'We were young Ryan.'
'I'm glad you're happy now.' Ryan replied. 'With James.'
'About that.'
'No really, I mean it. I would've felt worse if you weren't happy at all. I'm just glad you got him.'
'Hello guilt trip!' 'Yeah… thanks.'