"He was my North, my South, my East, my West. My working week and my Sunday rest, my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong."

-W.H. Auden "Stop all the Clocks, Cut off the telephone"

A love truer than love

Part 1: The stranger across the atlantic

By Valkyrie Skye

Selma, Alabama, United States

May 28, 1948

Anne Louise Guthrie's wedding day was today and she couldn't help but to cry.

She made for a beautiful bride; all her family and friends said so. Sunny blond tendrils swept up and kept in place with tiny flowers carefully positioned in her hair. Her makeup was like her, delicate and natural. Her dress was beautiful, passed down from her mother. She wore her new white satin shoes and borrowed her cousin's lucky gold bracelet. And to top it all off, she wore her soon to be mother-in-law's wedding gift, a sapphire necklace around her neck. The color was the same as her cerulean eyes.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, as they say.

But the tears started when her female family members left the room to enter the chapel down stairs. She laughed and smiled with them and kept her smile when they left. When she looked at the mirror to check herself one last time, she thought about Johnny.

John McDougal. He's such a wonderful man. They met in High school, Louise was 14 and Johnny was 16. Johnny was planning to graduate early so he can join the US air force and fight the war. He's so patriotic and sweet. His family is god-fearing like hers and they attended the same church. They had so much in common that they just clicked. He's planning to wear his military uniform for the wedding and that brought back memories of the war and her short time as a USO girl in her first tour in England. And the memory of England brought the memory of the certain young man. And with that, the tears started. She sighed and looked down. Under her breath, she whispered his name

"Walter"

Then came the memories of when Anne Louise Guthrie was really was in love.

London, England

September 14, 1947

Louise was so used to her small town that a city like London overwhelmed her senses.

This her first tour as an official USO girl. As soon as she turned 17 and graduated from high school, with honors and after much, much begging to her parents for permission she finally arrived to England. She was so excited and nervous and homesick. She missed her church's choir group, her friends, and most of all, her parents. She missed her dog, Dolly and her old room. But her homesickness was quelled with the fact that her boyfriend, Johnny was stationed in England. She joined the USO cause not only did she loved her country, she missed her boyfriend as well and couldn't bear to go on another day without him. When she first heard that he was leaving to be stationed in England 2 years ago she was upset. Birthdays and holidays were spent without him. Correspondence through heartfelt letters was all they had. So she joined the USO in the hopes hat she would see him again. Just her luck when her USO troop was selected to entertain the troops stationed at RAF Mildenhall in Suffolk, England.

And so here she is, in the middle of the capital of England, with a map, her purse and tears in her eyes.

Not only is she homesick, she is lost.

One minute, she was in a tour group exploring the sites of London and the next, she is in the middle of a populated street, alone and very much lost. Louise tried asking people but they seem to walk past her until she gave up and walked towards a bench were the tears welled up and she began to cry. What was she to do? Is she ever going to see Johnny again or her family? How is she ever going to get home let alone to the military base? Its 70 miles away!

"Miss? Miss? Are you all right?" she heard a voice.

She peered up, her blues eyes suddenly locked in with a pair of wide, sympathetic gray eyes. "sniff No" she murmured, her light southern drawl held agony making her look more like a wounded creature you had to feel sorry for, "I'm… I'm lost and I dunno anything about this city and I dunno where I am or where my group is…" then she let out another sob, this time it came from deep in her throat. "I'm so lost, mistah."

"Oh don't worry. Ok, lets think back. How long ago was this?"

She wiped away the tears with the back of her hand "I dunno, about 20 minutes ago? I looked back to where they where and they were gone. I looked up and down these streets and… and… oh my god." And then she sobbed again. Then she thought about the gentleman next to her. He was so nice to even bother checking on her and here she was, babbling and weeping like some sad, deranged widow. She collected herself and looked at him again.

The young man was still sitting next to her. His gray eyes held sympathy for her. His handsome face held a soft smile and his dark hair was unusual for her plain, vanilla tastes but it didn't look so bad. In fact, she kind of liked it. It was wild and beautiful on him. He dressed nicely and it was rather impressive. A vest, black tie and black slacks. He was tall and lean and his presence was very comforting even though she never met him in her entire life. She smiled back at him; sort of weakly and said "I'm sorry. Here I am, going crazy, boring you. You're probably pretty annoyed me."

"Actually" he said, with that dignified air young English men tend to carry, "I was finding your accent very charming and cute."

She laughed, blushing at his comment "Thank you. I was actually thinking that same with you." Then they both laughed.

The young man sighed, "My name is Walter Dollnez and you are?" he said with an extended hand.

She let out a sweet smile and gave her small, soft hand to his rough large hand. His hand enclosed gently around hers and they shook tenderly "I'm Anne Louise Guthrie. Nice to meet you Mistah Dollnez."

"Walter, please. And Anne Louise is such a lovely name. So what brings you to England?" he asked, releasing his hand.

"Well," she began sadly, "I'm on tour with my USO group. In fact, I was here with them and well." Then she frowned again.

Walter frowned "Oh, I'm sorry Anne Louise, I didn't mean to make you sad again."

"No, no, its ok. I'm just… sensitive. And my friends call me Louise. Only my parents call me by my full name." She said.

"Oh. Right, Louise."

She laughed "Walter."

They both stared at each other and smiled. He was so comforting and so mysterious. Her heart was beating in her chest. Was he making her nervous? She hadn't remembered the last time she felt this way.

"Well," he started "are you hungry?"

"Well… a little. I dunno anything about English food so I guess I could use some help." She giggled.

He smiled brightly this time "Well I know a small café down the block, we can go there and chat a little bit more."

Louise was raised by old fashion values. Proper young ladies didn't have male friends. The only male she knew in any level was Johnny but other than him, she had no friends that were men. She was not allowed to have one and she never questioned it. She was raised not to question her parents or her old time values.

But here and now, sitting with a young handsome dignified young 18 year old, she realized she had more questions than answers. Why can't ladies be friends with men if there's nothing going on between them?

Louise found out so many things about him that she found in common with herself. When they talked about music, Walter said he loved American jazz and that his favorite musician was Louis Armstrong. Her eyes widened at this revelation, he was her favorite musician too! None of her family and friends knew this about her. Jazz was nigger music and she was not allowed to listen to 'such filth' as her parents would put it and she understood. But hidden underneath a pile of junk in her closet was a small collection of Jazz music from Armstrong, Ellington, Holiday and various other musicians. It a big secret she kept hidden away and she felt alone in this until now. What a relief, someone in this world likes the same music as she did and he didn't care if they were black!

Why can't she be free to listen to whom and to what she wanted?

Walter, she realized, was an amazing young man, and very handsome too. It was thrilling to be in the company of someone such as he. They were in the café having lunch, laughing at jokes each of them had, although Walter had more amusing ones.

"No, he doesn't believe that!" she asked incredulously

"Indeed he does! My employer firmly believe you are not officially drunk until, and this are his exact words, 'Until your glass and asre has hit the floor!'"

They laughed some more

"I apologize" Walter said, "I shouldn't use such language in the presence of a woman."

"Oh don't be silly Walter, you haven't even met my father. My daddy can be quite the potty mouth. Once, I remember at a family picnic, he said to his brother that he couldn't tell the difference between my uncle's car and pile of horse…" and then she stopped. She never really said a curse word in her entire life. Louise felt nervous saying the word 'Hell' let alone saying a real dirty word. Walter was waiting "ya'know." She said.

Walter knew what she was trying to say but trying to push her button he played dumb anyways "No, I don't know, what is it?"

"Walter! You know. Horse…poop."

"Poop?" he said. Louise couldn't help but to laugh, it sounded funny coming from an English man. Walter then let her off the hook by saying "Oh! You mean 'Shit!'"

She laughed "Yes, that word."

He smirked "Say it."

Louise gasped "Walter! No! I can't I'm a lady."

"It's ok, I won't tell anybody! Come on. 'Shit'"

"Walter…"

"It's just a word. Just say it, please."

Louise looked around then came close towards Walter across the table and whispered, "Shit." Then she broke into a grin.

Walter feigned shock "Oh my lord! You little foul mouth bad girl! Shame on you!"

She laughed. There was no words to say how amazing he is and how his openness is truly wonderful and liberating. For once, she didn't feel confined. For once, she can see the world before her eyes and it was big and open with possibilities and experiences that she knew she would never know in the small town of Selma, Alabama.

For once, the world didn't seem so plain as Louise once thought it was.

She told him about the USO and Alabama and her community. She told him about her friends and family and he was actually interested in hearing all about it. Walter frowned a little as a question crossed his mind. Louise caught on to it, was he getting bored?

"I'm puzzled Louise."

"Are you?" she asked, moderately taking a sip of her tea.

"Yes." Then sat straighter and looked into her azure eyes. "It puzzles me that such a beautiful young woman such as yourself doesn't have a boyfriend."

Louise almost choked "Oh, well…" then she stopped. For the first time since she met Walter, she thought about Johnny. She felt bad, Johnny is such a sweet man and she paid no mind to him at all. Guilt crept in her body, she wanted to talk about Johnny, about how he serving their country and his likes and dislikes, how they met, and what they had in common but all she can say was "I don't have a boyfriend."

It came out so quickly and so stoically like the words were made from cardboard. She heard herself saying 'why did I say that?' but she never gave herself an answer. What she settled was that it seemed appropriate to say at the time. Walter on the other hand lighted up. He smiled as if he heard something delightful, which in his case, he did "You don't have a boyfriend?"

Louise paused. "No." 'What?' she asked again, 'Johnny's your boyfriend!' "I don't have one. Never really was interested in anybody I knew." Then she smiled a small, weak smile.

But Walter never questioned her subtle actions; he heard exactly what he wanted to hear. "Well, since you're unattached, I was thinking maybe…"

"Oh my gawd! Louise!" A young woman was yelling across the café by the doorway. She was properly dressed brunette female with eyes as wide as saucers. Louise rose up quickly and ran across to meet the woman, a sea of laughers and cries as they wrapped their arms around each other. They broke their embrace and looked t each other, their eyes wet with tears "Louise" the young woman started "We looked all over for you and when we couldn't find you, we panicked and here you are, oh my gawd." They hugged again.

"Katie, I was looking for you guys all over."

"You should tell us this in the bus, they waiting for us outside." Katie said, pulling Louise by the arm.

Louise stopped, looking back at the forgotten young man at the table. Louise couldn't believe how wonderful he really is, just sitting there, smiling while she totally forgot about him. Louise looked back to Katie "Wait for me, I need to say goodbye to someone."

"Al… Alright."

Katie walked away looking back once before entering the bus. Louise turned back to Walter walking over to the table. She smiled at him while she took her pocketbook she forgotten on the table. "Well" she said quietly "I guess this is goodbye."

"I guess." He said.

There was an untold amount of silence and tension between them before she said, "Thank you for the food, it was very kind."

"It's not a problem at all, I was happy to do it."

Another silence. It was short since Louise quickly extended her hand "Walter, you've been nothing but nice to me. I dunno how to pay you back for all this."

He took her hand and instead of shaking it, he pressed his lips on her smooth hand and kissed it gently "Truly, the pleasure all mine. And you don't have to pay me back, I expect no payment from it." He let go of her hand and smiled softly "And it doesn't have to be goodbye, you know." He reached into his vest pocket and took out a polished black pen. Taking a napkin he proceeded to scribble on the paper, then fold it and handed it to Louise. Dumbfounded, she looked at the paper in her hand and looked back at Walter, which he was leaving pound notes on the table and stood up to face Louise. They stared at each other, blue meeting gray. There was something about him that made Louise feel that if she refused, she'd be a fool. Heart beating loudly in her chest, she numbly put the napkin in her purse and turned away towards the exit. By the doorway, she turned to look at him one more time.

Tall and lean, in a dark vest and slacks ensemble, slender, nimble fingers, dark wild hair, and gray eyes framed with long dark lashes.

Louise never had a chance.

The bus ride to the base was surprisingly silent. All the girls wanted to know happened but Louise only said a one or two word answer; things like "nothing" and "I'm fine" seem to come out of her as if her mind was so far away. Looking at the valleys of the Suffolk towns, she was suddenly reminded of the napkin in her purse. She looked over to the side to find Katie napping. Taking that as a sign that the coast was clear, she opened her purse and took out the folded napkin. She opened it up and read what was written:

555-0245

please call me,

Walter

She was stunned. She couldn't. Louise shook her head and decided she won't. It's wrong, she has a boyfriend and she loves him.

Louise strangely felt a pang when she said that. She loves Johnny. Doesn't she?

She rode the rest of the way back to the base with a question hanging about her like a dark cloud.

To be continued