Chapter 2: WTF?
"Hey Ron, I had the weirdest dream last night," Harry said the next morning at breakfast.
"I don't care, Harry!" Ron yelled. "I'm sick of you and your fucking dreams! Go fuck yourself! Just die, would you! You get all the attention and I get none! It's not fair! You're such a fag! I hate you, never talk to me again!"
Harry left the great hall and went to angst in the astronomy tower. When he had been sitting there for some time, who should arrive, but Draco Malfoy!
"OMG!" Exclaimed Harry, jumping up. "I thought you were dead!"
"I was," said Draco, who had acquired stunning good looks, a six pack, and a completely different personality over the summer. "Dead inside, anyway! I left Voldemort after he killed Ginny. I just couldn't take it anymore."
"I guess it was meant to be," Harry sobbed. "Draco, were you in love with Ginny! Is that why you always hated me!"
"No," said Draco, sweeping Harry into his arms. "I hated you... because I loved you!"
"Dude!" Harry exclaimed. Suddenly Madame Pomfrey ascended the steps. "Run!" Harry exclaimed again.
Draco jumped out the window, and Harry pretended to be looking for his lost characterisation.