Chapter 5: Epilogue
On the last day of school it was discovered that the last horcrux was the one ring. Harry bit Frodo's finger off and destroyed it and the wizarding world was saved.
Harry and Draco got married and had identical twins, a boy and a girl, named Skylar and Skyler.
Remus and Sirius got married and had no kids but lots of gay sex because they are so gay. And Sirius isn't really dead. He is having gay sex with Remus. And writing about it on the internet.
Hermione and Snape got married and had twelve children named Bridget, Constance, Priscilla, Fliggetyflop, Ryan, Blop, Mogwort, Stupidhead, Fluffball, Dumbass, Sparklypop, Tom Marvolo Riddle, Prostitute, Raven, and Steve.
Ginny moved into a carpeted bathroom with a toilet in the shower.
Ron died.