AN: Guess who be updating, guys? Like anyone actually cares . . . but I should probably finish the fics I got. Then I can submit: NEW CRAP! Yay! Oh, here's something weird for you. Last time i updated, my pen name was Lil Cosmo still, and that was like last fricking year!
The fumes of the dump had a slight intoxicating affect on the young boy. "Whoa," He giggled (not the most masculine thing for a guy to do, but no one was watching). "I'm so gonna . . . tee hee . . . die! Ha ha . . . I'll probably starve or even . . . hee . . . drown! Too bad I can't . . . hahaha . . . swim back to shore."
He collapsed into a pile of compost, by this time immune to the putrid aroma, though he smelled enough to make a skunk gag. "Maybe I could make a . . . tee hee . . . boat out of banana peals."
Luckily, he was the genius of the KND or he might be in trouble.
Hold up . . . Numbuh 4's GPA is dipping into the negatives.
Well then, my friends, what we have here is a royally screwed Australian, I tell you what.
"I'm royally screwed!" muttered Numbuh 4.
To make matters worse, the skyline seemed to be bobbing up and down. He squinted from behind his bangs, watching the black shape aproach.
"Oh crud! It's the . . . hee hee . . . lock ness monster! All the way from Scotlandburg, Ohio!" He broke into hysterical laughter, sick in his stomach from fear. He stood quickly before falling head over feet into the black waters of the ocean.
Meanwhile, on the less smelly edge of town.
"I can't believe a villian could be so . . ." Kuki began.
"What? I'm so what?" She crossed her arms over her bright red spandex body suit.
"OLD!"
"What did you call me?" Her voice dropped to a deadly whisper.
"You heard me Grandma. And you should really consider Slim Fast if you're going to dress in that . . . what is that? Red garbage bags? Lady, you have no fashion sense."
"You should talk Ms . . . Ms. Rainbow Monkey . . . freakoid! Besides, my stylists says I look ravishing and he would know!"
"He must be blind."
"Shut up!" she walked circles around the ensnared child. "I've been watching you, Kuki Sanban. You and that little boyfriend of yours. And I'm tired of the way you flaunt your love. It makes me sick to my stomach that you," She thrust a bright red manicured fingernail under Kuki's nose, "Can get a guy, when I get diddly squat. Not even so much as a date!" Her bottom lip quivered. "What's wrong with me?" She sobbed, raccoon circles of mascara running down her face. "Am I that revolting?"
"Oh, there there . . ." Kuki cooed, being the sweety she was. "I'm sure it's not that bad."
"Yes it is! when I was in school, I was the fat girl. I didn't even have any FRIENDS, let alone a boyfriend. For the prom, I stayed at home and gorged on Chunky Monkey icecream and watched old silent movies."
"Oh, you poor thing!" Kuki cryed.
"Spare your sympathy. When my father died, I was left with an inheritance. Now look at me! Nine stomach stables and boob inplants later, I'm finally hot. And I still don't have a date. But don't worry, I have a plan." She waited expectantly. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Aren't you gonna ask what my plan is?"
"No. I don't honestly care, actually."
"Fine then! I'll tell you. No more skinny girls . . . except me, of course . . . will get dates."
"What? that's insane!"
"Is it? With all the other girls gone, that'll just leave me and a bunch of Fatties! And who do you think those guys are gonna choose? Me or lardbutt?" She laughed demonically. "And I'll start with you."
"What are you gonna do?" Kuki became slightly fearful. This woman was insane!
The woman grinned, revealing lipstick on her teeth. She wheeled out a machine which looked like a cannon, only clear. Inside resided a strange green liquid. "I call it Operation: Sleeping Beauty." She ran her fingers across the smooth glass. "It'll put you into an eternal sleep, unless of course you get kissed by true love or whatever, which isn't gonna happen because you'll appear dead to the outside world, of natural causes I might add, and you'll be buried under ground! And worm kisses don't count I might add." her laughter chilled to the marrow, or maybe someone just flipped an air conditioner switch. Whatever the case, Kuki shivered as the thing came closer to her, whiring. She tried to turn her head, but it was no use. The sickly liquid was emited in her house and she felt tired, so tired, and she felt as if she were falling straight through the floor with no one to catch her.
Then it was just dark.