Wow...I was meant to finish this months ago, but I kinda got sidetracked...but I finished it today and I'm happy! Does anybody remember this one? Prolly not but still!Please read and review and I love you! Squee!

I do not own Stargate/actors/characters, but I do wish I owned Daniel Jackson or Michael Shanks...sigh, that would be the best!

"So…tell me again why I'm dressed up as a pimp?"

"Because, sir, it is a good cover," Sam answered patiently. Jack rolled his eyes, glancing around the area.

"I don't see any other pimps around here Carter! Nor do I see any road workers for that matter…Teal'c and I look like rejects from the Village People!"

"Jack, if that was true, you would be dressed up as a cowboy, not a pimp." Jack glanced at his best friend, then did a double take, forgetting for a moment that Daniel was Davis.

"I think that Davis could fit in with the Village People," he muttered under his breath. Daniel gave him a warning glare.

"I believe that you could too O'Neill, but only when you are attired as your normal self." It was Jack's turn to give the warning glare, this time is Teal'c's direction. Sam snickered behind her hand, then covered it up as a cough.

"I had something in my throat sir."

"Of course you did Carter."

"We're here," Daniel's soft words brought Jack's mind back to the mission. He straightened slightly, adjusting his fur coat and hat. Sam fixed her scarf while Teal'c finished his ice cream. "Okay guys, look busy."

"On it." Jack wandered over to the corner, dragging Sam along with him. "Hooker! Anybody want a hooker?"

"Sir!" Sam shrieked, recoiling in horror as people stopped to stare. Jack glared at her, causing Sam to flush. "I mean…continue…I guess."

"Thankyou…hooker!"

"I require a hooker, unidentified stranger," Teal'c bellowed, walking up to the two. Jack grinned widely at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah…I want one too," a nervous man muttered discreetly. Teal'c glared at the man.

"I have already claimed her as my own. I suggest you find another woman to buy…leave us!"

Daniel watched the man scamper off, shaking his head at the scene being played out in front of him. He couldn't believe that he had just witnessed Teal'c saying the word hooker.

"Major Davis?"

Daniel continued to watch his friends, still shaking his head. Sam was now strutting for Teal'c's amusement, while Jack clapped along, looking giddy.

"Major Davis!"

"Oh!" Daniel whirled around, suddenly remembering why they were here. A man stood in front of him, looking dishevelled. He was slightly older then Paul, and his eyes were wild. "Mr Price, I presume."

"Don't presume, Major Davis, you know it's me."

"Yes sir…what can I do for you?"

"Do you remember Lindsay Green?" Price asked after a minute. Daniel frowned. Lindsay? Paul had never mentioned her.

"…no sir."

"Don't play dumb with me Paul, you know her! You had an affair with her for three months!" Daniel's eyebrows shot up at this. There was some new information.

"What does this have to do with what we discussed on the phone Mr Price?"

"Not a damn thing…I have been watching you for years, waiting for the perfect moment… I just knew that the only way to get you alone would be to pretend that it had something to do with your Stargate program!"

"Why did you want to get me alone, Mr Price?" Daniel was starting to feel nervous.

"Because you stole my girlfriend from me…and you're going to pay for that!"

Oh yeah, Daniel thought. He was in big trouble.

Not knowing what to do, Daniel did the first thing that came to mind.

"I want a hooker!" he screamed. Price gave him an odd look, then shrugged as Daniel started to back away. Just as Price was pulling a gun out of his coat, Jack was pulling one out of his pants, realising that Daniel was in trouble. Either that, or he was horny.

Jack whirled around and pulled the trigger three times, hitting Price square in the chest. The man dropped to the ground, and everyone around them stopped and stared.

Jack glanced at them warily, then put his gun back into his pants.

"He owed this pimp some money," he explained lamely. The lady closest to him started to scream, and was closely followed by the rest of the crowd. Jack tuned to the others, a frown covering his face as Daniel walked up. "Not convincing enough?"

"A bit too convincing," Daniel muttered. Teal'c inclined his head, then turned to Sam.

"Major Carter, I still 'have' you for another hour."

"Teal'c, I was only joking about that," Sam said after a beat. Teal'c merely smiled.

"Complete your dance."

"Teal'c-"

"I require it!"

"Well, despite a few…mishaps, I think that the last couple of days went great!" Sam said brightly.

"Indeed…April Fools is most amusing," Teal'c said, raising an eyebrow at Jack. "As was Major Carter's dance."

"Can we not talk about that?" Sam muttered. Teal'c smiled.

"As you wish."

"Yes, it was great…can we eat now?"

"Jack, we have to wait for the food to be served," Daniel said patiently. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Jonas! Hurry it up!"

"I'm coming sir!"

"So is Christmas!"

"I can't believe that all this was because Major Davis had an affair with some woman," Sam said after a moment's silence.

"I know!"

"I think this is a mission that shouldn't…be talked about too much," Jack muttered, glaring at the fur coat that sat next to him. The other's had changed, but hadn't let him for obvious reasons. As if he hadn't been embarrassed enough.

"Okay!" Jonas raced from behind the counter, attired in the usually Burger King uniform. "This is just as fun as I thought it would be!"

"I'm…glad you are enjoying yourself."

"Enjoying myself? Daniel, this is incredible! I mean, I know I've only been doing it for an hour but…wow! Daniel, you should do this!"

"Yeah, I'm sure Daniel will be giving up his rocks for this any moment now…can I please have my food?" Jack exclaimed. Jonas looked at him for a moment, and then his eyes widened.

"Oh! Of course!" he raced back over to the counter and picked up a tray. "I made it myself Colonel, just for you!"

The tray was set down in front of him, and Jack looked down at it in distaste. It was possibly the most unappealing burger he had ever witnessed and he was pretty sure he would die if he even touched it.

"You…made that?" Sam asked after a moment. Jonas nodded.

"Of course I'm only learning…but I think it looks great! What do you think Colonel?"

Jack continued to look at the burger, not saying anything. "Colonel O'Neill?"

"Jack? Aren't you going to eat the food that Jonas cooked just for you?" Daniel asked pointedly. Jack ignored his friend. As he looked at the burger, a familiar thought entered his mind.

This is it, he thought. Jonas is finally gonna kill me.