Pairings : Sirius x Remus.
Note : Dedicated to my cousin, Ichigo. Happy Birthdays!
Based on a Doujinshi with the same title by Shishinden.
Disclaimer : T-T Not mine.
Synodic Month
The Unsinking Moon's Sin
I…
Suffered a terrible injury.
It was a mistake, a triviality.
That was all.
It was nothing.
The black dog was bitten by the wolf during the full moon.
But this time, the wounds were deeper.
Usually, my wounds would heal before he woke up.
But this time, I messed up the spell and it took too much time,
He saw me.
I…
I was the one with blood flowing from my wounds.
But he…
He was the one whose normally expressionless eyes ((comma use wasn't need there)) showed a hint of pain.
Then his eyes suddenly grew calm.
He just leant down and took away my bloodied shirt. ((this sentence seemed out of place so I just changed the tense, it means the same thing only it does sound better in English))
"You should put the wolf in chains."
The morning after the 15th moon phase passed again,
If he saw my bloody form, tending to my wounds,
He'd leave, wouldn't he?
He would just leave a letter behind, he'd leave this room.
After all, he was always prepared to leave.
He hugged the smaller body close to him. Breathing in his scent.
No matter how much time we tried to spend in this room,
He kissed his lips, wanting to feel the warm lips forever.
No matter how much we tried to confirm each other's existence,
Things never change…
An antique trunk, the scant personal belongings that just barely managed to fit inside it.
And a worn-out robe.
That was all he had.
Even when I bought him things,
It was as though it were meaningless.
One time,
I don't remember long ago, he disappeared.
There was a single letter sitting on a crude desk.
His trunk and robe had disappeared from the room.
I picked up the glass that held down the letter, I grasped it with my left hand while I open the letter with the other.
The clothes…
And the belongings…
I had given him…
Had been left behind, just as I had.
"I won't see you for a while.
I'm giving you back the things I borrowed.
Thank you"
…………
I crushed the letter and gritted my teeth.
I threw the glass he's holding in his left hand at the wall.
I threw away all the belongings I bought for my lover. Making them scatter carelessly in the floor.
I became frantic and set off to look for him on foot.
Eventually I found him.
Sitting on a small bar, head down, Hands clutching a glass of butterbear. His face was blank.
Even when he saw me.
I tore up the letter in front of him; I dragged him back with me.
Because of that bitter experience,
I didn't feel as though I was living.
In the following month,
Every morning I would be struck with paralysing thoughts. I would always confirm that the trunk was still sitting in the entryway.
Every day, I would come up with a reason to stay in the room he was in,
It was as if I was keeping him under house arrest. I counted off the days until the next full moon.
But, in the morning when I woke up, 4 days before the next full moon,
I woke up to find him gone,
No longer beside me in the bed…
Flustered in a panic, I checked the entryway.
His suitcase was still there.
…………
A memo, not a letter, sat on a desk with an orange on top of it.
"I guess we'll be in trouble if we run out of food.
I'm out of shopping."
Sighing in relief, I ate the orange.
My relief was short lived.
He didn't turn for three days.
I tore the calendar on the wall, tore it into pieces.
With rage I threw the pieces across the room.
"'We'll be in trouble if we run out of food,' he says?"
"I haven't eaten in the past two days!"
The day before the full moon,
The part of me that believed his note
Was over shadowed by the part of me that thought he wouldn't be back.
But…
He returned; his hands full with his purchases.
"Sorry it took me so long."
"Here is a present for you"
Along with the mountain of food, he put down an old wooden box.
Inside was a gun, a trinket, and a wooden box stuffed full of bullets.
Everything… Was made of pure silver.
Was it an idea? Was it irony?
Or was this just a bad natured joke?
I guess it doesn't matter.
But I knew the saying "The classical techniques are the most effective"
It was a concrete practice sanctioned by the Ministry of Magic.
"… Oh, Thanks."
I put down the wooden box and searched through my cupboard.
"By the way, I decided to go along with what you suggested last month."
Anger welled up inside me, but I forced it down with an odd calmness.
Find it, I took it out and showed a pair of iron chains to him.
"Did I mention it before?"
He was a bit surprised,
But he quickly gave me a small smile.
He held his arms out to me.
The moon rose.
I had chained him to a wall inside a small room in the ground floor. It used to be storage room. It only had a window with a bar on it.
I can see the moon from there.
The full moon is this evening.
I sat down on a chair across where he sat on the floor. Chained to the wall.
"Want some more tea?"
He looked up to me and gives me a warm smile
"No, thanks"
He looked at his watch and smiled once more.
"It's time."
Silence fell upon us.
And…
The change began.
I'd known he was a werewolf for twenty years,
I don't think I have ever watched him transform without having to look away.
Seeing the terrible pain he suffered, I felt as though my heart would burst.
But I could count on one hand the number of times I'd seen him transform while I was in human form.
…………
No, I have to watch.
I looked up to see his transforming.
He was no longer there.
…………
In his place, bound in chains,
Stood a gigantic silver wolf.
The wolf,
Growled softly and glared at me; I shifted uneasily in my chair.
The effect of the wolfsbane potion was incredible.
Even he saw me in my human form; he wouldn't try to attack me.
…………
More importantly…
My breath was caught in my throat.
Seen from up close, the beast was lit up by the pale moonlight.
He looked like a phantom, he was so beautiful.
"Sirius, think about it."
James looked at the window. It was full moon.
"Why is our Moony afraid of the moon?"
Sirius stared at him, a frown in his face
"Because he turns into a wolf and attacks people of course!"
James shook his head and looked at him.
"It's because he's human."
"It's a very basic fact to hunt prey in order to survive."
He picked the gun on the table in his right.
He put the bullets on the gun while his eyes locked with the silver wolf in front of him.
"Humans are a werewolf's prey.
Isn't that it?"
James looked at the window again.
""only people fear them and think of them as crazed monsters."
"James?"
James gave him a sad smile
"Poor Remus."
"If your soul was that of a wolf, you wouldn't have any thing to fear. In fact, you'd be happy.
The night when you're freed from all humans ethical conditions, obeying only instinct.
The sweet fragrance of blood.
The delightful sound of tearing into flesh…
It's the ultimate thrill."
"Cut it out, James!"
"Don't insult him like that! Remus is human!
He placed his finger gently over the trigger.
A blank smile appeared on James's face.
"Oh… That's right."
He pointed the gun to the wolf,
Never breaking eye contact.
"Remus is human."
"We're the ones who made him human."
"…Heaven and nature will not condemn him."
The wolf stayed calm. Watching his every move.
And put the end of the gun onto the right of his fore head.
"The only ones who can ever condemn werewolves like him
Are humans…"
The wolf growled threateningly at him.
He dropped the gun into the floor.
The wolf stayed calm once more.
"…Shit!"
"Why…."
"He growled when I pointed the gun at my self…"
"Don't forget, Sirius."
"We've bound him with love.
Remus will never become a wolf."
"We've bound him in the chains of 'Humanity'"
The moon will eventually sink and morning will come.
But sin will never disappear.
Moony,
Do you know our sin?
We've turned you into a being that can only be filled with pain.
Nevertheless, can you
Forgive us…
He approached his lover that had changed back to his human form.
Remus looked up to him and gives him a smile, a real smile.
I can't help wishing…
For you to stay human.
Even if it's for our unbelievably cruel arrogance.
He knelt down and cupped Remus's face with his hands.
Smiling as they gazed at each other's eyes.
"Welcome back, Moony."
He whispered as he kissed him.
He released him from the chains and gathers him in his arms, holding tightly.
He smiled at his lover's warm gaze
"Do you want some more tea?"
Remus put his head on his chest, snuggled at the warmth body.
"…Sure"
Fin
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