Chapter 9
Occlumency
I dont own any characters of HP
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September came and went and it wasn't long before the students were talking about the upcoming Hallowe'en feast, some had even started to count the days to the Christmas holidays.
"Christmas!" Hermione shrieked, "I have too much homework to even start thinking about Christmas. Dean, I don't care if its only fifty five days away and Fred shut up singing Jingle Bells in October."
As Ron and Harry headed to the Great Hall for dinner, Harry heard his name being called. He turned around and saw Cho walking towards him. It had been a number of weeks since Harry had seen Cho and he wasn't in the mood to continue their previous conversation.
He went to turn and pretend he hadn't heard her when he heard, "I know you heard me the first time, I just want a quick chat." Harry went to continue but stopped when he heard her say, "Please, it won't take long." He told Ron to go ahead and keep him a seat at the table.
As Cho came up behind Harry Ron walked away leaving the pair in the cold corridor.
"Harry" she said more gently.
"Oh! It's not Potter now," he snapped back. "What do you want Cho?"
"I want to apologise for that day," she said looking straight into his eyes.
"Don't give in already; don't fall for the puppy dog look. She was rude to you for no reason come on Potter get a grip" Harry thought to himself.
He hadn't realised he had stopped listening to Cho and he suddenly found himself not knowing what she had said.
"So that was why I was annoyed that day, I'm sorry" she finished, "You do understand don't you?"
Harry had no idea what her reason was, he had been looking at her lips go up and down but had heard nothing. His heart was doing a marathon in his chest and he realised his wand in his right hand was now all sweaty from holding on to it so tightly.
"Sure" he replied his voice a little higher than he wanted.
He coughed clearing his throat and this time said "Sure" more manly and confident.
"Good" she said with a smile appearing on her face, "Thanks."
As she went to walk away Harry was relieved that he had gotten away with the fact that he hadn't listened to one word she had said.
"You know you are really cute when you have that distant unfocused look. You know the one you have when you're not listening," she called back from further down the corridor.
"Damn it" Harry said when Cho was gone, "She knew."
He finally joined his friends at the dinner table. He hadn't realised his cheeks were so red until he heard,
"You alright Harry? You look very flushed" Dean called across the table.
Ginny had her hand over her mouth to stop herself giggling. Harry's cheeks went redder from embarrassment and he put his head down to start to eat. He was about half way through his steak and kidney pie when he gave a yelp. His scar seared with pain, he dropped his knife and the clatter made his friends at his table stop their conversations and see if Harry was okay.
"Harry" Ron asked, "What is it? Are you okay?"
Harry looked up to the staff table and saw Snape talking to Dumbledore. His pain was getting worse but he could also see Snape was in pain too.While Snape made his apologies to the other teachers for leaving dinner early, he had his right hand holding on to his left forearm and Harry knew exactly what Snape covering, Voldermort was calling his Death Eaters.
As quickly as the pain had started it ended leaving just a small throb. Harry looked at his two friends reassured them that he was okay and that maybe he might go to bed early. He caught Dumbledore staring at him and as if he knew what the headmaster was thinking, he rose from the table and headed to the headmaster's office.
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"Sugar stars" Harry called and the stairs appeared leading to the headmaster's private office. He knew Dumbledore would take a few minutes longer to arrive so he sat down in one of the leather chairs and waited. He looked around the room.The Sorting Hat slept gently on his shelf, the old headmasters talked among themselves in their photo frames not even noticing Harry in the room.
"How are you feeling now Harry?" a voice came from behind and Harry turned around in his chair to see Dumbledore coming into the room with Professor McGonagall.
"Much better. Thank you sir."
Dumbledore took his place behind his desk and did his usual by offering everyone in the room a lemon drop. Taking one himself he spoke again,
"Harry, we both know Voldermort has returned to full power and he his stronger than ever. I fear for your safety especially after the two previous dreams you have had. The fact that your scar is bleeding is bad enough but when you are unable to wake from the vision or dream that is very different."
"But Professor," Harry interrupted, "I haven't had one of those dreams since that night, maybe it wont happen again."
As soon as he had said it he knew that sounded unrealistic and he waited for Dumbledore to laugh, but the headmaster didn't move he just blinked and as if he was gathering his thoughts he continued as if Harry hadn't opened his mouth.
"These visions you are having are quite serious and terrifying for you so I would like you to take some lessons in Occlumency from Professor Snape."
"Snape!" Harry said a little louder that he meant to. "Occlu, Occlum, whatever you said. Why?"
"Professor Snape" Dumbledore corrected Harry, "Is going to teach you Occlumency. It's a very clever and helpful piece of magic. It will help you cut the link that Voldermort currently has over you."
"I don't understand Professor" Harry looked to the floor and shook his head.
McGonagall's voice was heard, "Occlumency Potter is the magical defence of the mind against external penetration, in other words, it seals the mind against magical intrusion and influence."
"But why do I need to learn this, is there not another way?"
The headmaster looked over his half-moon spectacles and spoke more gently than usual, Harry thought that would be impossible but Dumbledore mastered it.
"Harry, Voldermort is skilled at Legilimency."
Again Harry looked to his headmaster in a state of confusion. Dumbledore knew that would happen and patting the sky with his hand he explained,
"Voldermort has the ability to extract feelings and memories from a person's mind. I think I heard a muggle refer to something similar called mind reading."
"Mind reading. Voldermort is able to read minds," Harry said jumping out of his seat. "Could he be doing it right now, would I know if it was happening?"
"Relax, relax" Dumbledore whispered, "Usually people are in no danger while they are within the castle's walls and grounds but Harry the link between you and Voldermort is different, so I feel that these lessons are of benefit to you."
"Your visions Potter, when do they most often occur?" McGonagall asked.
Harry stopped to think. "When I'm asleep Professor"
"Exactly and why is that?"
Again Harry looked to the floor as if all the answers were written there; he shook his head and said "I don't know Professor."
"Because Harry" Dumbledore answered, "Your mind is relaxed and the most vulnerable when you are asleep. If Voldermort knew that you couldn't stop him breaking into your mind, Merlin knows what could happen."
There was silence in the room for a few minutes afterwards. Harry's heart was thumping in his chest and his mind was full of thoughts. His worst fears had come true Voldermort could read his mind.
As he walked back to Gryffindor tower he went over the conversation in his head again and again to make sure he had heard everything correctly. He mumbled the password to the fat lady and entered the common room. Hermione and Ron were waiting for him but he explained he wasn't feeling well and that he needed to lie down and relax. He promised his two best friends he would tell them everything in the morning.
Lying in his bed with his curtains drawn around him Harry suddenly felt ill and his face went pale. He thought back to his Second Year when the school had all thought that he was the heir of Slytherin. He remembered asking Hermione and Ron if they had ever done something and not remember doing it. He remembered how Ginny had been placed in a trance and how she woke up not remembering anything. "I can be very persuasive" Voldermort had said down in the chamber.
Harry shivered he was scared to fall asleep in case Voldermort tried to possess him or in case he would see something he shouldn't see and then find himself back in the hospital wing and waking up two days later. He pulled the covers further around his shoulders and brought his knees closer to his chest not even realising he had starting to gently rock back and forth in a comforting way.
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One week later Harry, Hermione and Ron were in the Common room working on different subjects when a tapping was heard at the window.
"Harry, isn't that your owl?" Neville asked as he undid the latch.
Hedwig flew to Harry and dropped a note infront of him. Harry recognised the handwriting straight away he had seen it enough times on his essays. Sighing Harry opened the letter.
"Dear Mr. Potter,
As arranged by the headmaster your extra lessons will start Monday evening after dinner. If anyone asks where you are going you are to inform them that you are taking remedial potions and from your classwork anyone would believe this."
Harry could just see Snape laughing as he wrote that line. That's all he needed people thinking he was doing extra potions. The letter was signed,
"Don't be late Potter.
Professor S. Snape"
Folding the letter and with another sigh he handed the letter to Ron and he returned to his Charms essay.
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Monday came too quickly for the students and another weekend was in the past. As the students dragged their feet to their various classes, one thing helped them get through the day. During the Sunday lunch Dumbledore had announced that the weekend after next was going to be the first Hogsmeade trip of the school year. Hermione quickly started to create a list of items she needed to get while Harry, Lee, Dean Fred and George immediately started to discuss Honeydukes and Zonko's joke shop.
Dinner time arrived on Monday and everyone was relieved that the worst day of the week was over.
"I hate Mondays" Ron whined as he stuck his fork into his pork chops. "I think someone should remove Monday from the days of the week, nobody likes it."
Hermione clicked her tongue, "Oh! Really Ron, do you not think that if you remove Monday then everyone would hate Tuesday, because that would be the first day of the week instead."
Ron's cheeks flushed and realising what Hermione was saying he coughed slightly and turned to Harry. "You ready for your lesson?" he whispered so the rest of the table couldn't hear him.
Harry who had been playing with his beans whispered back, "I'll never be ready Ron, never."
"Don't worry mate, just think you'll get to see Snuffles at the Hogsmeade weekend."
A smile appeared on Harry's face, how could he have forgotten that he had arranged to meet his Godfather on the first Hogsmeade weekend. He thanked Ron for reminding him and grabbing his bag he left for Snape's classroom.
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Arriving at the door he gently knocked and waited for Snape to say enter.
"Well at least you are on time, sit down Potter."
Snape took his normal seat behind his desk and entwining his fingers together he looked at Harry.
"As the headmaster has already explained. I am here to train you in the art of Occlumency. This is very advanced magic Potter and I expect your full co-operation and focus at all times. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes sir" Harry answered.
"Good, now stand over there, I am going to break into your mind. There's no need to look scared Potter, it won't hurt. Think of it as a game. I'll surely get enjoyment seeing your thoughts, finally knowing what actually goes on in that head of yours." Snape sneered, "But then again I might just see blackness and emptiness which would also explain a lot."
Harry tried not to respond to Snape's comments and through clenched teeth he just replied, "Yes sir."
"On the count of three Potter, I want you to force me out using any spell, incantation or any other way you feel will work. Wand at the ready, one, two.."
Before Snape had said three he had struck. Harry didn't know what was happening, images flashed before his eyes. He could see Uncle Vernon shouting at him, he saw Aunt Petunia at a pot stirring Dudley's old uniform. The image changed again and he saw himself being thrown into the cupboard and the image going black form the darkness of the cupboard.
"NO" Harry shouted, "Stop it. You are not seeing that."
He felt the room coming back into focus and a sharp pain in his knee made him realise he was on all fours on the floor. Harry was breathing heavily and his messy hair was stuck to his forehead from the sweat.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" he shouted
"Manners Potter" Snape replied. "I broke into your mind just like I said I would. You managed to stop me seeing anymore, it took you long enough, but you managed it."
"Did you see all that?" Harry questioned but with a sharpness in his voice
"Mr. Potter, can I remind you that I am doing this for your benefit. I am not interested in the images but now that you ask, what was that woman doing with the uniform?"
Harry's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "She was dying my cousin's uniform so I could wear it." Harry sighed as he rubbed his scar that was beginning to hurt.
"Pain Potter?" Snape asked when he saw what Harry did.
"Nothing serious" Harry replied the sharpness leaving his tone of voice. "It's always hurting these days, especially at night time."
"Well, that is the reason why you need to grasp this as soon as possible, ready to try again?"
Harry nodded and before he had even raised his wand Snape whispered, "Legilimens."
Once again the room disappeared. Harry saw Dudley hit him and then chase him down the street with Dudley's friends. The image changed again and this time it was more recent, Hermione appeared and she was smiling at Harry and then it changed to Cho flying on her broom from an earlier match and the smile she gave Harry.
"NO" he shouted. "No, that's enough no more."
The room swirled back into focus and again Harry was on the ground panting.
"Two women after you Potter, can't you decide which one you want?" Snape sneered. "You're not even trying Potter, I told you to focus"
"I am trying, its not easy having someone go through your thoughts" Harry stared at his professor and sharply added a "Sir" after his statement.
Snape continued the process three times more, when finally he said, "Get up off the floor, and we will continue this next week. Now go see Madam Pomfrey and get something for your headache or you won't be able to get any homework done tonight. I want you to clear your mind before going asleep, do you understand?"
"Yes sir" Harry replied hating Snape more and more.
As he went to open the door he heard, "I hope you're not scared of the dark Potter!"
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Harry slammed the door behind him and headed towards the hospital wing.
"Bloody greasy git" he complained, "Who does he think he is? I hate him"
"You know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness" a voice came from further down the corridor, "but then again everyone knows about your mental health Potter"
"I'm not in the mood for you Malfoy, so why don't you shove off once and for all."
"Oh! That's not very welcoming,is it Potter" he grinned, "Now where are you off too?"
"I don't have to answer to you Malfoy, I can go where ever I want to, it's not curfew yet, so I haven't broken any rules. Now if you would step aside I think I hear Goyle calling you, he's lost the way to his dorm again and he needs you to help him" Harry laughed.
"Just you wait Potter, someday that smile will be wiped off your face and we'll see who will be laughing then."
As Malfoy walked off he shouldered Harry out of the way.
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Later that evening Harry, Hermione and Ron were sitting together in the Common room. Harry had promised he would tell his friends everything when the room would be empty later on. As he struggled with Snape's potions essay he thought back to his lesson earlier. He remembered how he had finally got Snape out, not knowing how he did it but it worked. He looked at his knee and saw a huge bruise from where he had fallen.
Harry felt he was being watched and looked up to see Hermione looking at him with a worried expression. She gave him a smile similar to the one he had seen earlier and he blushed.
"I don't fancy Hermione" he thought, "She's just Hermione, I fancy Cho no-one else and anyway Ron fancies Hermione, and I certainly don't need Ron after me."
He decided not to tell them everything that happened after all, and "anyway I don't need anymore people knowing about the cupboard. I hope you're not scared of the dark Potter!"
Harry rolled his fist into a ball and then he heard a click of someone's fingers and a, "Hello, earth to Harry"
Harry blinked and the Common room came back into focus.
"You alright mate?" Ron laughed, "We thought we lost you there for a few minutes, you had that glazed over look."
"Sorry, I was just thinking" Harry quickly looked away, "This potions essay is boring"
"I wouldn't blame you mate" Ron said returning to his Charms homework, "Spending an hour with the git and then doing his homework is bound to have some effect on you."
"Shh!" Hermione spat, "We don't need to have the whole common room hear about what Harry was doing earlier. Finish your essay, so I can check it later."
Harry caught Hermione's eye and nodded a thank you and looking over at Ron who was scribbling away he noticed two very red cheeks.
A few hours later the room was empty except for the three people sitting on a couch watching the ambers of the nearly gone out fire. Harry picked up the poker lying on the grate and started to prod the smouldering pieces of coal that now looked like ash.
"Did you ever feel" he started as he poked around the fire, "as if your head was about to explode you had so much going on up there at once?"
He returned to the couch and started to tell his two best friends about what happened earlier in Snape's room.
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