Diary
Chapter Eight- Beautiful
Disclaimer: I own none of this it's all Amy, etc.
Summary:If you take him, add some stilettos, a push-up bra, and some lip gloss you've got me...well, actually you have a funny-looking cross-dresser but you get the point'…Set after Jason and Lorelai break up, Lorelai tries to find the missing piece from her package.
A/N: Shout out to my reviewers:
The27thGilmore: Haha. I don't know. I just made it up.
Mirax Corran: Yupppp...
lollysamantha: Thank you!
Luke'sGirl: Yeahhh...I don't know. I just figured I'd make it a little different from how the show went, you know?
gilmoregirlsfanatic: Thanks, I try. Lol.
Ronata: Lol. Sorry it took a little longer than I thought, I've been pretty busy.
orangesherbert7: Hah, don't we all? Sucksss about missing the eppy and school. At my school we only have study halls for the first half of freshmen year and then after that we have free periods. It's pretty sweet. So I get 3 frees a day. Lol. Yeahhh, we wouldn't have much a story then. Yes, closer and closer...lol.
lukelorelai-en: Yeahh...it's like when Sookie found out they kissed. Exactlyyy...
Lukelorelaichick: I'm not entirely sure if the test run will be included, it all depends...I haven't really decided yet. The way I have it written so far, the testrun is included but I might end up changing it. I'm not sure yet. Yeah, I just wanted the whole wedding thing to be different from the show.
schnitzel21: Hahaha.
LLfreak8285: Yeah, what a great episode. I was sohappy when she told Luke about her dream in that episode.
Adam's Song-182: Ummm...we can pretend it does. Lol.
SAGRA05: Thank you! Yeah, that was such a great episode. One of my favorites.
tom: I know, this chapter is a little bit longer, I think. It's weird thought because when I type it on word I think it's so long because it says it's like 8 pages. Then whenI post it, it seems so short. I'm working on it, though.
Crazy for Luke: You'll see...
She had been up the whole night, reading almost every entry that had to do with Luke or any of her ex-boyfriends. She was trying to analyze it all. Did she really feel something for Luke or was she just lonely and over thinking things?
November 11thLuke and Nicole postponed their divorce and now they're dating again. Can you say Daytime Soap Opera? I mean, seriously...Who does that? Basically they are just waiting around until they really get sick of each other and want to get a divorce.It'sjust because they are too lazy to sign a few papers and get divorced. It's too much of a 'hassel' as Luke pretty much said earlier. Soo, they'll get sick of eachother anddivorce or they'll decide to be married for real...I mean, what happens if they decide they want to be married? Will they just suddenly be like 'hey, we're married!'and start acting married? Will they go on a honeymoon? Will they have another wedding? Will they justthrow a party or something? 'Hey, come celebrate Luke and Nicole being married for real this time, we swear!'
I know this shouldn't bother me but it does. I mean, they were gonna get a divorce but now they aren't? So what are they now? By law, they are married. They are married but they are acting like they're not. Are they going to just keep dating? Will they do married couple things or just girlfriend/boyfriend things? Are they going to wear their wedding rings? Whoa...do they have wedding rings? I don't think I saw Luke wearing one. I don't remember. Was he? Ughhh...
I don't get it. How could you just suddenly decide you don't want to get a divorce?
I had this fight with Luke about it. I'm not sure why we fougt about it,I guess I just kind of blew up about it. I know that it's stupid, but we fought. I hate fighting with him. But, c'mon, this is so weird!
He's married, but he's not. He says they are just getting back together. He says they aren't getting a divorce but they aren't married either. But they are married!
This is so weird.
Lorelai
She was starting to see it now. She was beginning to see how much Luke being married had bothered her before.She didn't know why it bothered her back then, but now she was beginning to understand that the reason it bothered her so much is because she felt something for him. She hadn't know it at the time, and still hadn't known it until recently, but she had a thing for Luke. She didn't let herself believe that she did for all of those years, but now, finally…She was beginning to let herself believe it.
January 20th
…Well, I'm dating Digger. Yes, Digger Stiles. My old, summer camp buddy.Theonewhose head was shoved down a toiletcourtesy of Christopher. He was my partner in a 3-legged-race once when we were eight. We lost because he tripped and fell in some mud, bringing me down with him, and causing my dress to fly up and give everyone anice, little viewof my Snow White underwear. He had been the type of boy who snapped your bra in junior high. Hehad beenthe type of kid who ran around singing 'the song that never ends' until you punched him.He was the rich boy who got everything he wanted. He got parties and an amazing, expensivecar on his 16th birthday. While I was in labor, he was probably running around buying countries or something.
Now, just like I didso long ago, he ran away from that life. Well, not really the life, just his father's company.He ran away from his father's companyto become my father's partner. He's different now. He'll always be Digger, but he's definately changed.
He's the male version of everything I ran away from.He was the male verson ofwhat I could have turned into if I didn't run away. If you take him, add some stilettos, a push-up bra and some lip gloss, then you've got what I would have been.Wait...No...You've actually just got a funny-looking cross dresser, but you get the point...
He was successful and rich and was living in that life that I tried to so hard to get rid of. It's weird to be dating him. It's weird to be coming back into that life that I hated so much. He's the type of guy that my parents tried to set me up with before I got pregnant. He's the type of guy I never wanted to be with.Of course, now my mother hates him. That's pretty much why Iagreed to go out with him. I know it's wrong to only date him becauseit'd make my mother angry...but now...I'm with him. And, we had a good time on our date. Sure, the begginning was weird when he reserved us that creepy, quiet room. Then he wouldn't eat Mexican food, but we ended up sitting in front of a grocery store eating random food and drinking the remainder of the Fun Flask in tiny, plastic cups. We had fun.
I made sure he knew that it was going to be kept a secret from my parents. I don't want them knowing. Nothing good would come out of them knowing, right?
Lorelai
She didn't think much of it at the time. But, if she really wanted this relationship wouldn't she want people to know about it? At the time she thought this was the right thing to do if she wanted it to last. She thought if her parents knew, everything would be ruined. But really, she never wanted it to last. If she really did, she would have told people. She would have told her parents because if she thought it was going to last, they would eventually know. If it was going to last, they would find out and it wouldn't be kept secret. Secret relationships don't last. But then, why did she go out with Jason? Why? Why would she go out with him if she didn't want to be with him?
January 27th
I wonder what I would have said if the priest didn't interrupt us. I have no idea. What would I have said? What did I even want to say? What was I thinking? What was I feeling? What am I feeling right now?
We fought earlier that day because he didn't tell me he moved in with Nicole. Was that so out of line for me to be mad at that? I mean, friends tells their friends those type of things...But anyway, I hate fighting with Luke so I made what you could call a peace offering. I walked into the diner and asked him to help me break the bells.
So, we were in the church, breaking the bells and I brought it up again. I know I shouldn't have but I just couldn't let it go. I mean, I spent so much time trying to get used to the fact that Luke was moving in with Nicole. They were taking that next step in their relationship. Then, I went in his apartment to find all of his stuff was still there.There were dishes in the sink and thebedwasn't made. I had to ask about it, I had to. So, I did. I asked him why his stuff was still there and then I started telling him how he hadn't really moved. I basically told him that he was lying to himself and he was still living above the apartment.
I mean, he was... right?
Keeping a duffle bag and a toothbrush at her house didn't mean he lived there. Eating dinner there a fewnights a week didn't mean he lived there.Sleeping there every once in awhile didn't mean he lived there. I told him that. Then he asked me why I was flipping out about this so much.
Truth is, I still don't know.
I told him that I wasted a week of my life, getting used to the fact that he had moved. Then he started ranting about how nothing had changed and he was still the same guy who made me coffee every morning.
But the thing is, things have changed. He's not that same guy.
That guy didn't just make me coffee in the morning. That guy built me a Chuppah, he brought the ice to Rory's birthday party, he fixed my shoe at the Dance Marathon, he tried to beat up Dean after he broke up with Rory, he taught me how to fish, he came to movie night because he knew I was lonely, he listened when I talked to him, he did so many things.
He was never just my coffee guy.
I just told him that I didn't want him to move. And that's true, I don't want him to move. I really, really don't want him to move. Then he asked me why.
That's the part I'm still stuck on.
Maybe I'm just jealous. Maybe I'm just jealous that now, instead of fixing my oven he'll be fixing hers. Instead of bringing ice to my kid's party he'll be bringing it to her lawyer party or something.
He's always been there for me, but now he's going to be there for her.
I guess now it's just, more serious. They are moving in together. It's serious now. He says nothing has changed, but really everything has. He won't be around anymore. He just won't be around. He'll be with Nicole. He'll be with his wife.
I'm not jealous, am I? What would I be jealous about? That Nicole is his wife? I don't want to be Luke's wife…I'm with Jason. I'm not supposed to want to be someone else's wife. Maybe I'm just scared. Maybe I'm just scared that I'm losing a friend. I mean, I lost Rory to Yale and Sookie has Davey and Jackson to take care of and now Luke is leaving, too? Maybe I'm just scared...
I don't know. I don't know anything. I just, I wonder what would have happened if the priest hadn't interrupted us.
Lorelai
She still wondered what would have happened that night when they broke the bells. If they hadn't been interrupted, what would she have told him?
Was she jealous? She wasn't supposed to be. She was with Jason. But Jason was never really anything. Part of her thought that maybe she only went out with him because Luke was with Nicole. Maybe subconsciously she just went out with him because Luke had somebody and she felt like she should have somebody, too?
So…Did she want to be with Luke? Did she want to be more than just a customer? More than the coffee-addict that came in every morning? More than just friends?
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes. She wanted to be more. She wanted it.
She almost felt her heart stop at this realization. She wanted Luke. She wanted to be with him. She had admitted to wanting Luke.
She had admitted to wanting other men before but this was so much different. She knew that she could have it with Luke. She could have that 'thing' she was looking for with Luke. She could have that whole package. He could wait for the cable guy, he could turn the coffee pot on in the morning, he could be there for her,he could take care of her and love her. And she could love him. She could let herself love him and she knew that.
But did he want to have it with her?
That was the question. It was the question that she was afraid to know the answer to. She had just made a life-changing realization, but it didn't really mean much until she knew how he felt.
But, she could find out tonight. She could find all of it out tonight at Liz's wedding.
He hadn't invited her to wedding with him, did he? That part was never really clear. Did he want to go with her? Did he want to go alone? Why didn't he give her an answer? Maybe he wanted to go with her but he wasn't sure what she wanted? But he would know tonight...She was sure that he would know by tonight.
She stared down at the diary in her hands. She turned the page and it was blank. There were two pages left in the diary. Two, blank pages were left. They were waiting for her to write in them. They were waiting for her ending. They were waiting for that perfect, fairy tale, happily-ever-after, ending.
She just hoped that she could have that happy ending.
"But what should I wear!" Lorelai yelled as she threw things around her room and Rory dodged them, trying not to get a concussion tonight.
"Why are you flipping out?" Rory asked.
"I'm not flipping. Nobody's flipping." Lorelai said.
"Mom, look around...You've gone crazy." Rory said.
"No, I haven't. I just want to find something nice to wear. It's a wedding, Rory." Lorelai told her.
"Yeah, I know." Rory said. "But...Don't you think you're going a little overboard? It's a Renaissance wedding..." Rory said.
"Well, I want to look nice." Lorelai said.
"Why?" Rory asked.
"What do you mean, why?" Lorelai asked.
"I just mean, any reason in perticular?" Rory smiled.
Of course there was. Luke. I want to look nice for Luke. I want him to think I look amazing. I want him to think I look beautiful. I want to take his breath away.
"No." She answered when she realized that Rory was staring at her.
"You sure?" Rory said. She knew there was something Lorelai wasn't saying, she just didn't know what.
"I think I like Luke." I know I like Luke.
"You what?" Rory asked.
"You heard me."
"You like Luke?" Yessss I do.
Lorelai nodded.
"When did you decide this?" Rory asked.
"I don't know...Recently." How about two hours ago?
"Whoa..." Rory said.
"What?" Lorelai asked.
"You like Luke." No shit, Sherlock.
"This is huge." Rory said.
"Yeah, it's pretty huge... It's not reallybannanas are going instict huge, but it's up there." She said.
"Luke." Rory said.
"Yes, Luke." Lorelai said, feeling a little bit embarrased. She had always been able to talk to Rory about things, but this seemed so awkward.
"Our coffee guy Luke." Rory said.
"He's not just the coffee guy, Rory." Lorelai said.
"I know that...I just didn't know you did..." Rory said. What does that mean? Stupid, Yale brains...
"Well, I do." Is that the right answer? I don't even know the question.
"OK...Well...Here, wear this." Rory said picking up a pink dress that was lying on her bed. It was perfect. Rory always found the perfect outfits.
"It's perfect." Lorelai said.
"Luke will love it." Rory said.
Lorelai blushed a little bit. It still felt weird talking to her about this. Maybe because they both knew how serious this was. They both knew that this could be it. Luke could be it.
"Thanks." Lorelai said and then Rory left to go let her change.
Lorelai stared at herself in the mirror when she was done. She was wearing the pink dress Rory had picked out for her and a crown made out of ribbons and flowers. Rory had run up to her room and given it to her a few minutes before. She wondered where Rory got it, but it wasn't that important. Her hair was down and flowy and she was wearing the earrings that Luke had given her a few weeks earlier.
She glanced at her furry clock. It was almost 2 o'clock. It was almost time for the wedding.
She sighed. She was so nervous. She felt like she had a mafia of butterflies inside her stomach.
She just wished she knew what he was thinking. Did he feel something for her? Were those rumors that had been swarming around Stars Hollow for years, true? Did he feel the same way that she did? She just wished she knew...
She was more nervous than she had ever been. She couldn't remember ever being even half as nervousas she was right now. But, of course she was.
This was it. This was her chance. It was her chance for that whole package. Her chance for the man to complete her almostcomplete package.
It was her chance to have that happily-ever-after ending.
"How do I look?" Lorelai asked Rory as she slowly twirled around.
"You look amazing." Rory smiled.
"Are you sure?" Lorelai asked.
"Posotive." Rory nodded.
"OK. I'm off..." Lorelai said.
"I won't wait up." Rory laughed.
Lorelai rolled her eyes. Why was Rory so sure? How was she so sure that by the end of the night she'd be with Luke? What if Luke didn't feel the same way as she did? What if he was really only inviting her because Liz told him? What if he really couldn't care less if she came or didn't.
Stop it, Gilmore. You're just freaking yourself out over nothing. You don't know anything yet...You'll just have to wait and see what happens.
She had never been a very patient person. The waiting was killing her. When she saw the square, she began to speed up a little bit without even realizing it. Then she realized she was breathing hard and decided to stop and catch her breath. Panting like a dog probably isn't very attractive.
"Hey." Luke said when he saw her.
"Oh, hey." Lorelai said. "You look nice." She said. And he did, he looked really nice.
"Thanks...You look...beautiful." He smiled.
Chapter # 8. Wahooo...Um, yes soo there you go. There's going to be two more chapters and then the story will be done. tear tear I know. But then I'll probably post one of my other stories. I have two that I'm writing at the moment.
One is set after Luke and Lorelai break up in Season 5 and things don't go the same way as they do in the show, they take an extremely different turn...but probably not in the way you think..It's a bad summary but that's all I can without giving things away.
The other is set about two years into the future and Luke and Lorelai are married. Something bad has happened and sometimes, when facing reality gets to be too hard, it's easier to just remember a better time...Has a lot of flashbacks and stuff...Another bad summary but again, I can't give too much away.
Soo I'm not sure which I'll post first, butI promise they are much better then they sound and both are of course L/L!
Anyways,
please review, thoughts about the chapter, anyone?
...also, thoughts on which story to post first and ideas for other stories since I'm currently done writing all of my other ones...so yes ideas for new stories would be great!