Thought you learned the first time around

by Dimitri A

It starts when Jono thinks he sees a comet. It gets worse when it turns out to be a Yeerk ship and his family is killed. It gets insane when he's forced to fight. (TOMC, MA, JC, RMe SLASH, HET)

6. Tobias, Jono, Jake: Lack of Intellgenc

Thought you Learned the Second Time Around

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Chapter six

Lack of Intelligence

Tobias and Jono and Jake

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Tobias

It was a stupid thing to do really…well it was a stupid situation. Untying him, getting close to him, getting overpowered by this guy, then agreeing to go eat with him. It was the only thing I could think to do that wouldn't end with him bashing my skull in.

I like my skull in the state its in, thank you very much. I'd prefer if it wasn't made flat anytime soon. And I could really go for something that wasn't alive and wiggling anyway.

So I de-morphed and flew overhead, directing him towards…well civilization. I suppose I should have been more worried about whether he had a slug in his head, but the way he was acting about it made me think he wasn't. Besides by now the Yeerk in his head would be weak and dying, having been in his head at least a little more then two days.

I was pretty sure he was slug-free. And if he wasn't then…opps? It's not that I was exactly apathetic (though I'm that too from time to time) it's just that sometimes I don't feel like playing at saving the world.

We ended up on the side of a highway, which was littered with fast food places, gas stations, and signs for hotels and other advertisements. He raked a hand through his hair then walked over to the rest stop: more specifically a fleet of trucks and RVs. He paused next to an RV, looked around then knelt in front of the door. He reached into his jeans, pulled out something and focused on the door, working whatever it was into the lock. A moment later he opened it and ducked inside.

Fantastic. He was crazy and a delinquent. I circled the gas station a few times then flew down to the edge of the woods to take on my human form. I had to take a moment when I was done, feeling a little drained. Flying combined with morphing was taking a bit out of me.

Nothing some food couldn't solve though. I'm pretty easy that way. Coincidently that's not the way he would have liked me to be easy, but that's a completely different adventure into breaking various laws.

I walked out, drawing a few strange looks. It was probably the spandex. Marco's right about one thing; we looked like morons. I walked over to the RV and cautiously opened the door, hoping that he hadn't killed anyone inside and that whoever this did belong to was very busy elsewhere.

I went up two steps and ducked in time to avoid a broom handle to the head. I looked up at the kid, who blinked then smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. Thought you were the owners or something."

"Right. Heaven forbid the people who own this should show up while you're robbing it."

He smirked then turned and headed down the aisle, past the small kitchen and living room area and through a door. At a loss for what else to do I followed him. The door led to a bedroom and he was in the middle, stripping off his shirt. He tossed it aside then popped the button on his pants, pausing to toss a wallet and assorted items onto the bed.

I blinked at him. He wasn't exactly buff or anything, but he wasn't a so skinny you could see his ribs, unlike certain other people who were currently standing in that room. The pain of not aging any I suppose. I'd like to think that if I actually got older I'd be less of an obvious bully target.

Hey, it's a thought.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure Blondie?" He asked, eyebrow going up as glanced over his shoulder at me. I opened my mouth to say something to dispute the 'pleasure' part of that statement when I found my eyes drawn to the tattoo on the small of his back. It was an orange and red flame with a four-armed man, holding a crossbow, a sword, a box, and a flame, standing inside. (1)

"See something you like?" His voice was the same suggestive one he'd taken with Jake but he was wearing a teasing smile this time. I coughed and looked away. Right. Staring. I was staring. Which I shouldn't have been. I was a great many things and voyeur wasn't one of them.

Yet anyway.

He laughed then something smacked me in the back of the head. I grabbed a blue t-shirt just before it fell to the floor then looked up at him. He stared back for a few seconds then arched an eyebrow, as if asking a question. It took a moment to grasp that I was staring. Hard.

Still.

Being human was still something I had problems with. Humans didn't stare like I had a tendency to do. No one noticed if a bird watched something, but they got uncomfortable if it was another person.

"Sorry."

"It's cool. I understand; my sexiness is distracting."

I snorted. "I wouldn't take it that far."

"Why not? I'd let you." He smirked at me before tossing a pair of jeans my way. I had the strange feeling that I was blushing. He turned away again, going back to fishing through a suitcase that was on the bed. He came up with a pair of black jeans and started to hop into them.

I looked at the clothes in my hand. In a generic sense I could understand why walking around in just my morphing outfit was a bad idea, what with not wanting to draw attention to the two of us. It was just a little odd. I was used to Rachel dressing me in times like this and, being the fashion happy girl that she was, I had gotten used to looking mildly preppy.

It'd been a while since I just wore jeans and a t-shirt. I pulled them on, glad to find they more or less fit and that the band name scrawled across the front wasn't terribly offensive. He stopped, glanced around, and then made a noise of approval. He picked up a wallet from the dresser, opened it and withdrew a few bills. He tossed it back down, grabbed his own things from the bed, and turned to face me.

"Ready to go?"

I shook my head. "You can't just take their money. You're already stealing their clothes."

"Well I'd use my own but someone forgot to exchange my money when we crossed the border." He shrugged then pushed past me and all but bounced back to the door. "Move it before we get caught. You're a terrible accomplice."

"I'm not an accomplice." I argued, trailing after him. "I'm an unwilling bystander in all of this."

"Uh hu." He went down the stairs and, once I was out, shut the door. "Drugstore next. My contacts are…on the verge of becoming fused to my eye. And they itch."

"Ah." I said, not really sure I was supposed to answer that. His smile seemed to be almost sarcastic before he made a beeline for the store across the highway, practically bouncing his way around the cars and people in his way. I followed, unable to keep a small smile from quirking my lips.

There was something really wrong with this kid and, though that should have been bothersome on a logical level, it was just amusing. More amusing than it should have been by far.

The trip into the store found him stealing a pair of glasses and shears. He also bought a box of hair dye and flirted with the girl behind the counter shamelessly, leaving her a blushing stuttering mess by the time he'd paid. A funny image on a girl with bleach blond hair, more holes in her face than I cared to count, and wearing tight, black, shiny clothing, in my humble opinion. I was coming to realize that just about everything he said was laced with innuendo and double meanings.

The old couple behind him was beginning to look scandalized and the man who may have been the girl's manager looked a few seconds away from losing it, if the almost purple color of his face was any indication. He was leaning against the counter, one finger trailing up and down the girl's bare arm and seemingly oblivious to the chaos he was the cusp of causing.

I caught his elbow and arched an eyebrow. The girl, who'd pretty much ignored me up to this point, blinked at me. "You owe me lunch, remember?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, lunch." He moved away from the girl, pushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "I forgot. I'll have to be going Paige, he gets jealous very easily. I think it's low self-esteem; like I'd ever want anyone else."

He heaved a dramatic sigh while a flash of regret moved over 'Paige's' face. I was too surprised to even glare and so allowed him to pull me out of the store, grinning maniacally as he did. He pulled me closer and wound an arm around my waist.

"Let me go." The glare I laid on him was probably ruined by me squeaking like a little girl. In my defense his hand really shouldn't have had that much contact with my ass. "I'll kill you."

"Tsh. Don't tease." He laughed softly but moved his hand obligingly. Not that the small of my back was any better but in the grand scheme of things. "It's all in fun…I haven't had any fun in a long time."

The wistful tone of his voice gave me a moment's pause. I looked up at him again and saw he was looking ahead with a far away expression on his face. Then he cleared his throat and smiled again.

"Besides, I didn't make you come along did I Blondie?"

"I don't trust you to not put horrible things in my food. And I have a name."

"And?"

"It's Tobias."

He blinked. "That's nice." He let me go and pulled open the door of the Subway, allowing me to enter in front of him.

"Do you have a name?"

"Are you hitting on me?" He smiled sweetly and I rolled my eyes. He pouted. "S'pose not then. It's Jonathan, but Jono works. Never Jon or Nathan or Nat or any of that shit."

The first sign something was wrong was when a girl, brown hair and a school uniform, started screaming her head off and pointing at Jonathan, who just blinked mildly then glanced around and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then some guy aimed a gun at him and he yelped before ducking under a table.

And as I hit the floor, so as not to have my body take on a few new holes, I couldn't help but think I really should have expected something like this.

Jono

This is not my fault! I feel I should point this out; I wanted to go get a burger. The bird had to be picky and thus we were at Subway.

So I stroll in, calm as ever with Blondie at my side making totally pointless small talk. I was about to go into the long list of things not to call me if you liked having all of your various 'bits' intact.

Then the shit hit the proverbial fan when this chick in there started screaming and pointing to the TV in the corner, which, coincidently enough, was showing me and talking about how I'd apparently killed my family then fled.

Excuse me while I bang my head against the nearest counter. Stupid, what the hell was going through my head anyway? Hello, number one suspect in a multiple murder and I'm walking around in Subway. The bird really should have known better. What kind of superheroes were these people anyway? I've seen people on crack have more through plans.

Plans for like…getting more drugs, yes, but good solid plans nonetheless.

But I digress.

So anyway she's screaming and soon everyone is screaming and I'm kind of mystified. I should have run but for whatever reason I just stood there infinitely confused by all of this shit. Not exactly the moment that breeds belief in my apparent intelligence but there is something about a dozen people shrieking and pointing that will really through you off. Then some guy, I guess the manager since he was the oldest person in there, whipped out a gun.

More screaming as I duck like the scared little boy I am. I don't know, but at the moment I just wasn't feeling the whole gun-wielding thing. It was disturbing. I mean if I wanted more holes in my body I'd just get more done professionally.

Lord knows I already have a few. Giving a full list would take a minute or two, so we'll just skip that. I think I'm just a little off topic, my fault.

Anyway, there we were, on the floor, crawling to hide under a table.

"This isn't my fault you know."

He glared at me. "How is this not your fault?"

"You're the hero, it's your job to protect me." I frowned at him. "And thus far I have to say I would not recommend your services to anyone else."

I'm not sure if you realize this yet but I do bullshit a lot to cover up fear or pain or nervousness or happiness or…just about everything. Emotions…tend to make me really uncomfortable. It's easier to just cover them up with dirty jokes, curse words, and random observations that almost never actually help a situation.

Cassie would say I'm like Marco that way but I don't really see it that way. Marco has been known to give productive, if not pessimistic, suggestions from time to time. Everything I say is for the soul purpose of deflecting from the situation and throwing everyone off.

"I'm crushed." He hissed. "Since I'm so horrible at this why don't you come up with an idea to get out of here in one piece?"

I blinked then shrugged. Okay, if he really wanted my advice on how to get out of somewhere alive that was on him. I looked around quickly.

"We'll go out the window."

"We are not going out of a window." He looked at me like I'd lost it. Yeah well, you ask a stupid question. I shrugged. Fine, no window.

A hand grabbed me and hauled me out. I came face to gun with the manager guy…could it really be face to gun with a guy? He smiled a wholly unpleasant grin. I noticed everyone else seemed to have run out of the restaurant.

Once again I had a gun in my face and I'll admit I was afraid. Not so much of getting my head blown in, oddly enough. I was afraid I'd get my head blown in and I'd never get a chance to rip of Hayes' arm and beat him over the head with it.

My priorities were so in order.

"The Visser will be pleased with me for disposing of you." I wrinkled my nose; this guy was so excited there was spit flying from his mouth. Or, rather, the alien in his head was so excited. I'm pretty sure I remember Visser from my crash course in aliens and world conquest.

There was a shattering noise, like someone had just dropped a box of glass on the floor. The guy holding onto my arm was so surprised his grip went slack. I wrenched my arm back, grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward enough to slam my knee into his groin. He grunted then fell over, curling into a ball.

Good to know that having an alien in your head didn't make that hurt any less.

Tobias grabbed my arm and started all but dragging me towards the shattered window. I frowned at him but allowed it. How come when I said the window it was a bad idea, but when he actually went and shattered the damn thing it was a-ok? The hypocrisy of it all.

Still I hopped over the windowsill, hissing as I cut the palm of my hand on a jagged piece of glass still in the frame, and ran for all I was worth. We hopped out of the back and, other than a dumpster and a meat truck, had a clear shot back into the forest which we took advantage of.

Still, being the strange guy that I am, I couldn't help but wonder what a frozen meat truck was doing in the back of Subway. Last I checked they were mostly lunchmeat and pre-sliced chicken types of guys not the type to have huge slabs of meat delivered.

Still, I decided not to worry about it. It wasn't my business after all.

Jake

Marco likes to get on me about how responsible I am all of the time. To be perfectly simple, someone around had to be responsible or we'd all die.

Case in point, I walk into my house after school hoping to do some homework and get a bowl of cereal before I left to watch the kid for a few hours. Instead I got a call from Marco, who tells me to turn on the news, before adding that I can't blame this one on him.

I knew it was something bad not to mention probably Marco's fault. Most things are.

I turned on the TV anyway, to the local news, just in time to catch the end of what the mildly attractive news chick was saying.

"-Child. While he and his companion have disappeared yet again the police are searching for him. He's believed to be very dangerous. Suspected of killing his mother, stepfather, and younger sister; he is not to be taken lightly or pursued by civilians. If seen contact the number below. In other news, gaming genius Tsuzuki Yamcha is in town for a gaming conference and-"

They showed a picture of the kid before switching to the other story and I nearly screamed. But that might have attracted some seriously unwanted attention from Tom, or rather the thing in Tom's head, so I managed to keep it to a string of rather colorful words. Marco snorted humorlessly.

"My thoughts exactly. And you can't blame this on me, this one is obviously Tobias' fault."

"Whatever." I said, looking up at the ceiling as if it would provide me some form of a plan. Sadly the ceiling gods weren't feeling up to bestowing some knowledge at me and I was left to curse their stubbornness. Stupid, spiteful ceiling gods, can't help out the mere mortals in…

Sometimes I wonder when I lost my mind.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Okay. Why don't you call Cassie or Ax and see if they have their notes for History. I'll try Rachel."

"Alright. See you to study in a few hours?" Marco asked.

"Of course."

I hung up and then dialed Rachel's number. Jordan answered. I cut off her greeting and demanded to know where Rachel was. She huffed, apparently offended that I didn't want to speak to her, before answering my question.

I made a mental promise to take her out for ice cream another day. Maybe win back some 'favorite cousin' points with her.

"Rachel isn't here. She said she was going to Cassie's if anyone needed her."

Why did this not surprise me in the least? Of course Rachel wouldn't wait for any kind of signal or plan, she just ran off. I could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on even as I hung up with my younger cousin.

I made a quick stop in the bathroom to grab a few aspirin then scribbled a note for my parents, though I had my doubts about whether or not they'd notice I was gone. They were pretty much used to me coming and going at all hours.

I was on my way out when Tom came in. His eye was twitching and I briefly considered seeing what was up with the Yeerk in his head, but I figured the situation at hand was a little more serious, so I left.

Because I'm the responsible one. And because of that I was going to kill Tobias.

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(1) Jono's a fire starter/pyrokinetic in another life. In this one he's just a pyromaniac. The figure on his back is Helios, God of Fire in Jono's actual…world…universe…thing.

Mechante: Jono has laid of the sarcasm as much as someone like him can. Instead he's going for being a grabby little pervert. Rachel is the sort of girlfriend Tobias is referring to and I agree, they would have made much better friends than anything else. You're moving a bit fast, bit it's okay…we all know where it's going eventually. Truth, Justice, and the Canadian way, actually, but yeah…no. That's so not Jonathan. He'd much rather sit in the background and be snarky while the other's try to save the world.

Plz: Not much of a personality beyond 'bitch mode' but yeah, he has one. Or…had one. He's going to do his damnedest to destroy that part of himself. Maybe Tobias will be able to stop him but…well, Jonathan has been known to have an overwhelming personality.

Dragon: That's good. I try to temper angst with sarcastic humor as best I can. Obviously what's going on is serious, what with the aliens and the dead families and whatnot but I don't want to bog anyone down in it. At the moment anyway.

Mabby: Eh, it's not the number of reviews; it's the content of said reviews. I'd always rather have two thoughtful than sixty two worders. Jono is fun and will keep up his own brand of humor when fifteen seconds from dying because…well, that's all he knows how to do.