Standard Disclaimer: Likmutow wangshoudigi you slappywag! And that's Sonikku-speak for 'I don't own Digimon, you slappywag!'
Author's Notes: Free cookie to whoever gets the above reference. Also, I'll have finished my SATs by the time you read this.
To the reviews (congrats to everyone who guessed 'Star Wars' as the theme)!
Trey Miller: Hmm…you a Naruto fan?
SalanTrong: Welcome! And what do barrettes have to do with anything?
Anthony1: Perhaps…(hides Izzy)
Dark Qiviut: Nope; Episode III: Revenge of the Sith will be the first PG-13 Star Wars movie EVER.
Lord of swords and waffles: YARGH!
Yamimaru: …what is it with you turning Kari into a lesbian? O.o
Mewgia Mirrorcoat: I'll say this; Oikawa and Blackwargreymon WILL appear in future stuff.
minimoon4me: Actually, it's just normal pranks, without the foolish twist of April 1st. :P
Digi fan: Thanks!
Kmoney: About the last bit…Gabumon's too shy to go nude. :P
Cloud-821: Meanness equals greatness? Eek. O.X;
feral-halliwell: Welcome! And yes.
ficmaster: o.o;
Bluesv20: POWER RANGE-ERU!
DTV: …I'm going to walk away now.
: …short name. O.O;
As for 'Miss Month'…well, you know Jun? Jun equals 'June'? A month? Miss Month?
Ninetalesuk: (sigh) Look, I don't have a lot of free time. I have not one, not two, not three, but FOUR stories going on right now (one is for school). Come summer, more time will clear up. Until then, be patient; I'll catch up.
Dot Cubed: Heh…here's how I went on Christmas morning. (GASP) OH WOW! I GOT THE MEGAZORD! RAR! SMASH!
Silver Warrior: The original: Jason.
spadaken: I sense sarcasm. And welcome!
duskmon87: Actually, it would probably be Davis going for Kari, not the other way around. ;)
Begin!
xxxx
Chapter 15: The Prankster Menace
xxxx
/Inoue Apartment, Odaiba, Monday, November 28th, 6:53 AM/
Davis…was a man on a mission. A mission that meant a great deal to him…a mission that held great significance. A mission that would shake the world…a mission that would alter the very balance of life itself.
"…there."
Because after Yolei Inoue took her morning shower, he might as well be extinct. Davis quickly closed the cap on the milk jug and rushed out of the bathroom.
xxxx
Yolei yawned as she slowly trudged into the kitchen. She felt particularly hungry this morning, so that meant one thing.
Order up!
She quietly rummaged through the fridge, standing in nothing but her customary red T-shirt. Davis was sitting at the table with the rest of the Inoue family.
"Gee Davis, slow down," said Mantarou before chomping down on a piece of toast.
As Chizuru spread jelly on her piece of toast, she calmly uttered, "He has a point. Wouldn't do you much good to joke."
Davis swallowed one huge mouthful of chewed up cereal before replying, "Yeah whatever." He took another bite.
"SOMEONE'S sure in a hurry today," joked Jun before sipping her orange juice.
Davis didn't reply. He merely gulped down the rest of the milk in his bowl before glancing down at Veemon. "Let's go Veemon!"
"Coming Davish!" exclaimed Veemon as he swallowed two apples in one gulp. As Davis and Veemon left the kitchen, Yolei sat down in her own spot to eat her frosted flakes in silence.
Several moments later, Davis ran back into the kitchen, rubbing his head out of embarrassment. "Permission slip please."
Subaru calmly handed Davis a slip of paper. "Here ya go." Davis immediately ran out again.
"What was the slip for?" asked Momoe.
"Davis needs that to bring Veemon to the school," replied Sasuke as he chewed into some scrambled eggs. "Don't forget yours Yolei."
"Sure thing." Yolei's tone was dull and lackluster as she ate; she would need a shower before getting charged for the day.
xxxx
Crick.
Sheeeeeeeee…Yolei sighed as the warm water washed over her hair and her body. She was feeling more energized by the second. Aah…that's more like it. She quietly reached for the shampoo bottle and poured some onto her head.
"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!"
Yolei shrieked as a cold white liquid washed over her head. She immediately fell backwards into the shower curtains, pulling them down with her. She fell onto the tile floor in a heap, wincing all the while.
As the Child of Caring sat up, she grimaced. "What the…that's not shampoo!" She quickly rubbed some of the liquid off of her face and licked it. "This is MILK!"
But how? Why? Who?
Then…it dawned on her.
Her grimaced turned into an angry scowl.
"DaaaaaaaaaaaaaVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
Davis had been right about one thing: his mission was going to shake the world.
Because right now, all the way across the world, an earthquake struck San Francisco.
It was a coincidence of course (a 2.3 coincidence at that)…but that's beside the point.
It was a harbinger for things to come.
xxxx
/Hallway, Odaiba School, Odaiba, 7:21 AM/
Daichi Etsuya grumbled as he shut his locker door. "Darn it…darn it darn it darn it…"
He was not in a happy mood. Due to the new guidelines, he required written permission to bring Impmon along. And THAT was the problem.
His dad was a drunkard who had a bit of a mean streak…and his mom was never around, preferring to spend time with her friends instead of her family. A situation like that would NOT be good for his partner. To top it all off, Impmon had nearly trashed his room out of anger when he found out he couldn't be brought to school that day.
And you wonder why he was ticked off?
Gah…this sucks. Sucky suck suck, thought Daichi with a scowl. His yellow eyes glanced at the several students that were at the school; they regarded him with wary eyes.
The feeling of suspicion…he had gotten it before, when he been a bully and an ace lock-picker. But now…for getting it just because of Impmon…it seemed a bit different. It felt different…it felt more personal.
"Daichi!"
Daichi tilted his head around to see Davis running up to him. The black-haired boy asked, "What's up? Where's your partner?"
"Outside…at the elementary swing set. And Impmon?" replied the Child of Miracles.
Daichi slightly faltered. "Oh…he's fine. What's with the rush?"
"I need your help…to set up a prank against my 'sister'." Davis snickered as he patted his backpack; he had spent a lot of time last night prepping for this prank. He quietly looked around – making sure there were no eavesdroppers – and whispered, "I know you used to be a lock-picker. Do you know the combo to Yolei Inoue's locker?"
Daichi frowned…then he smiled. "Prank, huh? Very well…" He quietly pulled out a notebook from his backpack and opened it. "My personal database for most of the lockers in the school. You'd be surprised how many people throw away their papers after memorizing their locker combo."
Davis blanched; at the very beginning of the year, he – like most of the students in the middle and high school branches of the facility – had thrown away their papers depicting their locker number and the combination to its lock. "Do you…have mine?"
"Yep," nonchalantly replied Daichi. "Ah, here we go. Locker number 8-067. Eight grade, sixty-seventh locker."
Davis grinned. He had only just begun.
xxxx
/Eighth Grade Lockers, Hallway, Odaiba School, Odaiba, 7:51 AM/
Yolei seethed as she stomped through the halls toward her locker.
She was angry.
Not only had it taken a good ten minutes to get rid of the feel and stench of milk in her hair, but she had had to rush to get to school on time! Stupid Davis and his stupid pranks… Thoughts delighting in the downfall of Davis ran through her mind as she fiddled with the lock on her locker. Once I get home, I'm going to prank HIM!
She opened her locker.
"WAAH!"
A bunch of wadded up papers fell on Yolei, smothering her. Her locker had been stuffed full of the stuff (pun fully intended). Several passersby grabbed the papers, straightened them out, and looked at the pictures on them.
The laughter immediately ensued. Yolei grimaced as she looked at the papers…and paled at the sight of what was written on them.
Crudely drawn pictures of her as a fat lady. Of her stuffing herself with fudge brownies. And the most heinous of all…her and Ken smooching to the words of the infernal 'K-I-S-S-I-N-G' song.
She could practically feel the searing heat of the giggling. The pointy jabs of the chuckling. The ferocious punches of their laughter.
Yolei's eyes flared with angry fire. Davis…I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!
And somewhere, Davis was laughing.
xxxx
/Science Lab, Odaiba School, Odaiba, 10:39 AM/
"Now class, be careful when dissecting the frog; if you cut too quickly, then you might accidentally cut into the liver or the intestines. Pull out unnecessary organs if needed. We're trying to dissect the stomach, so be careful," droned the science teacher, who wore a spotless white coat that all stereotypical scientists wore. Similar garments had been provided for the students in the class.
Kari cringed at the sight of the wet insides of the dead, yet perfectly preserved frog. "Yech…I could do without the dissection."
Her partner, TK Takaishi, somberly said, "Just calm down Kari. Just be glad it's not of the digital variety." The statement was disquieting to the Child of Light; what if in the future, humans found a way to preserve Digimon that had lost their life? A way to keep them from dissipating into data? If so…it wouldn't be long before school children began dissecting Digimon instead of frogs or rodents. She shivered; such thoughts chilled her too much.
Meanwhile, at a different dissection table, Davis and his partner Daichi were busy working.
However, it wasn't what the science teacher had in mind. As Daichi dissected and pulled out the lungs, the gall bladder, and the heart, Davis shuffled those organs into a small plastic bag.
The Child of Miracles grinned; this was only going to be the third of the five pranks he had planned for Yolei.
xxxx
/Lunch Table, Odaiba School, Odaiba, 12:03 PM/
Yolei groaned as she sat down at the same lunch table she and the new Digidestined always sat at. To her surprise, they weren't there. Huh…where'd they go?
Then it dawned on her. Since lunchtime and recess were the only times they could associated with Digimon during the school day, her friends would undoubtedly be eating with them. She should probably go as well…
"Oh Yolei…"
The sound of that voice sent Yolei into a flaming rage. "DAVIS!" She immediately stood and looked around, trying to pinpoint the location of the prankster. In a matter of seconds, Davis rushed behind her, did something to her PB&J sandwich, placed a paper under it, and disappeared into the crowd.
With a huff, Yolei turned around, angrily grabbing her sandwich. "Stupid Davis…I'll find him…" She took a bite.
To her confusion, her teeth and tongue felt something…mushy…and squishy. She finally noticed the paper that had been slipped under her sandwich.
xxxx
Dear Yolei,
Hope you like frog guts.
Davis the Prankster!
xxxx
Yolei's face turned green. She immediately ran from her lunch tray and towards the girls' bathroom. The sound of hurling ensued.
As this occurred, Davis slipped ANOTHER piece of paper under the miniature carton of milk inside her lunch box, stashed a pill into the carton, and then ran off again.
Yolei was back one minute later. Her face was still green…but her eyes was red with rage. I live to maul Davis, I live to maul Davis, I live to maul Davis, I live to maul Davis…
She needed to calm down. Hawkmon and the other Digidestined would be helpful with that. But first thing's first: she needed to wash that awful taste out of her mouth. She quickly opened her milk and drank it all in one gulp.
She suddenly paused; the carton had been opened…but…how…
Yolei paled. She looked down to see another piece of paper. What now?
xxxx
Dear Yolei,
Hope you like laxatives. This one works REALLY fast!
The Prankster formerly known as Davis!
xxxx
Yolei's face turned from green to white in seconds.
Then…
Squuuiirrrk.
That was the sound of very icky bowel movements emanating from her gut.
For the second time in a span of three minutes, Yolei rushed to the restroom. The sounds of number two followed.
Outside, the sounds of Davis' laughter followed.
xxxx
/Sidewalk, Odaiba School, Odaiba, 3:21 PM/
"I live to kill Davis, I live to kill Davis, I live to kill Davis…"
"Lighten up sis! His pranks couldn't have been THAT bad," consoled Momoe, although it was clear she was trying hard not to laugh at Yolei's misfortune.
Yolei shot her oldest sister a fierce glare. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AFTER THAT LAXATIVE? FIVE TIMES! THE TEACHER LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GOING TO BLOW A GASKET EVERY TIME I RAN OUT WITHOUT ASKING!"
"You're attracting attention," replied Jun; the three girls were calmly walking home together. Davis and Veemon had left the school immediately after three, thus ensuring safety from Yolei's wrath…at least for now.
Poromon poked his face out of Yolei's backpack. "Davis sure seemed to be having a good time when he got see Veemon during lunch!"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT POROMON!" roared Yolei.
Squuuiirrrk.
Jun and Momoe blinked. Yolei growled as she clenched as hard as she could. "Pardon me; gotta make it home!" She immediately dashed as fast as she could to reach the Inoue Convenience Store.
She burst through the double doors, quickly shouting off a 'Hey' to her folks before reaching the back room.
She ran up the stairs to the apartment.
She dashed through the hallway.
She slammed into the bathroom door – which was partially open – all the while reaching for her pants' buckle.
SPLASH!
Yolei froze as a bucket of water splashed down onto her head; it had been propped onto the top of the doorway. She was so startled that she completely loosened up.
SPLURK.
Yolei furiously scowled as she accidentally soiled herself. Poromon gagged. "EEW! That smells Yolei!"
The Inoue girl didn't register her partner's words. She was too busy seething. So Davis wanted to play rough, did he? Fine then. If he wants to be a prankster…then I'll prank him twice as hard!
But first, she had to change.
Then she would throttle him.
And THEN she would prank him.
At this precise moment, Davis and Veemon – they had both been hiding in one of the snack aisles before Yolei come in – snuck out of the Inoue Convenience Store. Davis smiled. "Well, THAT felt good!"
Veemon scratched his head confusedly. "I still don't get the point Davish."
"Eh, you don't have to…up for a visit to Daichi's?"
"Yeah!"
xxxx
/Daichi's Room, Etsuya Apartment, Odaiba, 3:30 PM/
Impmon grumbled as he fiddled with the blankets. "Feh. I'm gettin' bored of waiting for that bum to show up!"
It wasn't fair; after everything that had happened last week at school, he was expected to stay at home?
"Like heck I will! That joik can rot for leaving me here," muttered Impmon as he ventured outside Daichi's room for the first time that day. So what if he had been told not to? He didn't care.
After several minutes of looking around, Impmon found the kitchen; more specifically, the fridge. "Jackpot!"
The rookie rummaged through the fridge…and to his delight, he found several bottles of sake and beer. "Booyah! Booze! I'm in heaven!" He quickly stepped out the fridge, amber bottle in hand.
"What…the…a Digifreak? What're you doing in my house?
Impmon blinked as he tilted his head upward, staring straight into the angry visage of Daichi's dad.
You see, Daichi had neglected to mention a very important fact to Impmon; his dad didn't work on Saturday-Monday. Which meant he was home all day.
"WELL? ANSWER!"
Impmon was silent.
Then, he sweatdropped as he held the bottle of beer up to Mr. Etsuya. "Eh…truce?"
xxxx
To be continued…
Next time…
Chapter 16: Fixing What's Broken
xxxx
Author's Notes: SATs are finally done! Hoozah!
What do you think of Davis' pranks:P
See you soon, and please review!