The Wishing Well

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters associated with it.

May contain spoilers for Season One and Two.

Chapter Fifteen

"Anna!" Sheppard screamed her name and lunged weekly for the door. His hands connected with a cold, solid wall. He dragged himself up by his fingertips and searched for a knob or button, some way back into the padded room, finding nothing, not even a crack where the door used to be. Horrified by the thought of Anna and her reality disappearing, he balled both hands into fists and battered the wall until his hands were slick with blood. "Anna! Chaya! Let me in! You promised! Anna!...Why?..." He slipped to the ground when his head began to swim.

He wasn't sure how long he remained there on the fetid stone floor, devoid of energy and emotion. Frozen with cold, his body shivered so hard his teeth rattled like loose pebbles in a ceramic jug, the sound reverberating through his mind. He felt as if six woodpeckers had taken up residence inside his head and were trying to peck their way back out.

His head shot up when he heard a derisive snort and the sight of himself in the dim light not three feet away, leaning against the wall, ankles crossed and arms folded, unsettled him.

The other John Sheppard sneered. "What's wrong, Ace? Girl got the better of you?"

"You're not real." Sheppard stated flatly and looked away.

His twin pushed away from the wall and advanced rapidly in Sheppard's direction. When he reached Sheppard, he latched on, dragged him up by the front of his fleece shirt, and smashed him up against the wall. "Don't ignore me, fly boy! I'm as real as you are!"

Sheppard just hung there, limply, pressed against the wall, and watched his alter self with dull eyes. After a moment, he blinked once and hung his head. "Go away."

"Sorry, Ace, no can do. If you want to go home, then you and me, we have a little talking to do." Twin Sheppard pulled back and slapped Sheppard across the jaw….hard! "Snap out of it!"

Sheppard's head snapped back; he gripped his jaw in pain and tried to remain upright. "I don't want to go back. Just leave me alone!" He slumped down until he landed on the molding stone floor. "Chaya promised she would send Anna back, not me!" He ground out through clenched teeth.

"So, she lied. The poem warned you that 'some tell lies'. You should've seen it coming, but you didn't. So what! Get over it! You think you don't deserve to go back; that it should have been Anna?" Twin Sheppard knelt down, reached out a rough hand and yanked Sheppard's face upward. "Think you're less important than your friends or that sacrificing yourself would have saved everyone? Why should you get to live?"

Sheppard watched his other self through blurry vision. He felt numb, chilled to the bone and just wanted to lie down and disappear. "I shouldn't live," he murmured and closed his eyes.

"Hey! I'm not done talking to you yet!" Twin Sheppard jabbed him in the right arm several times with a jousting finger.

Sheppard forced his eyelids upward until he could see his doppelganger leering at him in the semi-darkness. "What's to talk about? You and I agree. I shouldn't be the one going back. There's nothing I can do to fix that, so just let me die in peace!" He gave the other Sheppard a hard shove and issued a humorless laugh when the man landed on his ass, looking extremely irritated.

Twin Sheppard raised himself up on his knees and leaned in close. "We're not in agreement, you idiot. You need to go back."

"Anna's already dead, her reality is gone. I'm just adding her to the list of people I've already failed in my life!" Sheppard's head fell forward to rest on his knees.

"Yeah? Well if you give up now, you're going to have a hell of a lot of names to add to that list, namely the entire Atlantis Expedition Team!" Twin Sheppard stood and looked down the shadow-filled tunnel, deep in thought. "You could always go back and try this whole thing again."

Sheppard's head shot up. "What are you talking about?"

"I can't believe I'm going to suggest this, but here goes." Twin Sheppard leaned back against the slate stone wall and crossed his arms. "Go back. When you get there, instead of destroying the well, drink the water and make your wish again. Maybe you can make it come out the way you want it to the second time."

Showing interest for the first time, Sheppard gave the idea some thought. "Might work."

"Do you hear that?" Twin Sheppard cocked his head and listened to muted sounds echoing down the empty passageway.

"Hear what?" Sheppard was aware of a distant buzzing echoing within the murky passage.

"Voices calling you," Twin Sheppard indicated the long passageway with a jerk of his head. "Coming from down there."

Sheppard slowly hauled himself up and propped himself against the damp, unyielding wall. He listened as the buzzing solidified into voices, echoing from a point of bright light that appeared at the distant end of the passageway. He could hear words of encouragement, voices filled with varying degrees of demand, love and fear. Their voices tugged on his subconscious like an invisible chord connected directly to his heart. He took an involuntary step toward the sounds.

"Who…?"

"Your teammates, along with Lorne, Elizabeth and Carson; they're all out there calling for you to fight. Do you want to fight, John, or are you going to give up on your life?" Twin Sheppard shoved away from the wall and approached Sheppard. "What's it gonna be, fly boy? Do we go back and drink the water, try this whole thing again, or do we go back and destroy the well, protect the other realities from all the ghastly monsters that could use it as a portal for evil?"

Sheppard listened as the voices reverberated in his head. He heard Weir's terror and McKay's desolation above the other emotions mixed in with the words. He caught Beckett's order to fight and it caused another tug on his heart chord. He took two tentative steps toward the light. An unexpected stab of pain punched his chest and drove him to his knees. It radiated throughout his body and caused his breath to catch in his lungs.

"What the hell was that!" he managed to choke out through tight lips.

Twin Sheppard grinned. "Carson's flashing the porch light. He says playtime is over and we need to come home."

Sheppard had just managed to get back on his feet when a second searing pain exploded in his chest. "Damn it, that hurts!"

This time Twin Sheppard caught him before he collapsed. "Well, I suggest we start for home!" He threw one arm around Sheppard's waist and Sheppard put an arm around his twin's neck. They shuffled down the passage in the direction of the voices.

"Wait! I don't think I can go back without Anna!" Sheppard tried to dig his feet in or latch on to a handhold, but the walls and floor were smooth stone. Twin Sheppard stopped short and gave him a disappointed frown.

"Yes, you can. Do it because it's what she wanted you to do, because she loved you." Twin Sheppard eyed him with a steady, honest look. "Don't let her sacrifice have been for nothing."

The third jab of pain pierced like a knife straight to his already broken heart. "That's it! I'm gonna kill Carson when I get back!"

"Well there you go! You can complain to Carson in person!" With a smirk, his twin moved off down the passageway leading Sheppard in a haphazard little two-step dance. They halted a few feet from the opening. Sheppard spied his team surrounding his cot, Weir and McKay sitting on the edge. He looked closer. Are McKay and Weir hugging?

"Looks like we may have cut it too close….What the Hell, let's go, Ace!" His twin gave a cavalier grin and leapt forward, connecting with and combining into one Sheppard. With the little energy he had left, Sheppard thrust off in a sluggish dive toward the cot, toward home…..

Beckett prepped Sheppard's chest and zapped him with the paddles. Sheppard's body jerked up off the cot then fell back and was still. Beckett turned his head to check the monitors. Still a flat line, damn! He was distantly aware of everyone chanting the ending of the poem, but his focus was on his patient. Beckett recharged the paddles and zapped Sheppard a second time. He was rewarded with a few blips on the otherwise flat line. He watched and waited. A few blips, then nothing.

"John Sheppard, you listen to me, lad!" Beckett leaned down and spoke in a ferocious voice directly into Sheppard's ear. "Don't do this! Fight!" He recharged the paddles and issued a third jolt to Sheppard's broken heart.

Silence. No blips at all. Emptiness. Sheppard was gone.

Beckett set the paddles aside and turned to the chanting group, his sad, ocean blue eyes clouded over with pain and remorse. He looked from face to face, unable to vocalize his thoughts. Words seemed meaningless given the current situation. The voices dwindled and then ceased completely.

Silence hung heavy on the air for a few long, agonizing seconds before McKay leapt forward. "No! He isn't dead! This should have worked!" He gasped out as he latched on to Sheppard. Looking at Sheppard's face, he thought the man looked as if he was taking a nap, but McKay could feel the stillness, no breathing, no twitching, nothing left. He slowly gathered Sheppard's lifeless remains close, buried his face in his friend's neck and rocked back and forth. "Oh, John…"

Weir stepped forward, sat down behind McKay, and gathered both men in her arms. Tears ran in torrents down her ravaged face and quiet sobs escaped between tightly clenched lips. Beckett hung his head, turned away and silenced the screaming monitors. Ronon wrapped his arms around a now shaking Teyla, who returned his embrace, burying her face in his shirt.

"McKay," a faint voice whispered through his mind. "Rodney," it whispered again. McKay shook his head and spoke to Weir, "I'm losing it! I hear Sheppard calling me!"

"I heard it too, Rodney." Weir leaned back, shooting a confused look at McKay.

McKay's look of anguish rapidly turned to one of disbelief. He pulled back and stared once again at Sheppard's face.

Sheppard peered back at him from half closed, dazed hazel eyes. "Padded cell….big screen T.V….realities." Sheppard swallowed hard, "Chaya? Anna? Where are they?" His weak voice called out.

McKay's incredulous laugh burst forth. "Yeah, yeah Dorothy, and I'm Auntie Em! You're back in Kansas now! Chaya was there? Did a house land on the wicked witch of the Ancients, hmm?" McKay hugged the rambling Sheppard close once more before alerting Beckett. "Carson! He's alive, a bit punchy, but alive! Get over here!"

Weir stared down into Sheppard's exhausted features, a small grin warring with the tears on her face. "Glad you decided to rejoin us, John."

Beckett shooed McKay and Weir back and began to examine Sheppard with his stethoscope. "Good to have you back, son! How do you feel?"

"Almost…dead." Sheppard managed feebly as he blinked a few times and glanced around. His eyes landed on the well a few feet away. Suddenly remembering the decision he had to make regarding the ancient device, he tried, unsuccessfully, to sit up.

"Whoa, Colonel, where do you think your going?" Beckett's strong hands pushed him back down onto the cot. "You're in no condition to be getting up on your feet yet!"

"Chaya said…destroy well…gotta do what she…" Sheppard struggled weakly, his agitation clear.

"Destroy it? Why? We need to study it! We can learn…"

Sheppard cut McKay's tirade short.

"Rodney…it doesn't…work. Trust me…I was…there." Sheppard's weak voice washed over McKay.

"Well, that's an oxymoron! If you were there, it must work!" McKay put on his stubborn look, chin pointed outward and arms crossed.

"Doesn't…work…right!" Sheppard breathed out slowly. "Can't…let…Wraith…find…"

Lorne stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on Sheppard's shoulder. "Sir, I'll take care of it. I'll destroy it, don't worry!" He gave a confident smile to his commanding officer.

Sheppard relaxed, "Thanks Major…do it…soon." Sheppard fought the tug of darkness as it pulled at him, trying to drag him under once more. He was bone weary and mentally exhausted.

"All right, let's get the Colonel back to Atlantis so I can treat him in a proper infirmary!" Beckett started directing soldiers on what equipment needed to go back now and what could wait. Dr. Seace assured him she would pack up the remainder of the medical supplies and return them safely to Atlantis.

As he was being moved past the well, Sheppard called out, "Wait! Take me…to the…well."

Weir shared a concerned look with McKay and Beckett. "John, are you sure that's wise? We just got you back! I don't want to lose you again!"

"Just…need…one…thing." Sheppard managed, with a thick tongue.

At Weir's nod, the men carried Sheppard's makeshift gurney over to the old weathered well. Sheppard reached out weakly and wrapped his fingers around a handful of the aromatic purple and white flowers. He gave a frail tug, but the flowers didn't budge. "Rodney…"

McKay aimed a questioning look at Weir who just shrugged and issued a brief nod. McKay leaned over and yanked the flowers loose.

Sheppard raised the flowers up to his nose and inhaled deeply. He hugged the flowers close to his chest. His lips curved up into a brief satisfied smile, and then he gave in to the inevitable and drifted into darkness. He wasn't aware of the trip back to Atlantis or the next week spent in the infirmary.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews. Lady Sidera & highonscifi, you've been there through the whole story. Thanks for sticking with it. Titan5, I'm honored because you're one of my favorite story weavers. One more chapter to go.