Elizabeth stepped off the elevator at Harborview Towers and looked towards her left. Jason's penthouse door was closed. She had been trying to reach him all morning and well into the afternoon to let him know that she had passed her Accounting quiz with a 'B'. Her professor even congratulated her and Elizabeth was well aware that if Jason hadn't sat down and helped her with her homework she wouldn't have passed let alone with an above average grade.

She adjusted her messenger bag on her shoulder and made a right, heading towards her home. She would just have to catch up with her friend later. He was probably busy with an assignment from Sonny. She knew that's why she hadn't seen a whole lot of Sly lately. She smiled as she pushed open the door and stepped into the penthouse.

"Hey, I'm…"

Elizabeth stopped abruptly when she noticed that Lily was sitting on the couch with her head in her hands and Sonny was kneeling down in front of her, massaging her arms. Both of them looked up surprised when they heard the door open. When the recognition that it was her coming home from school Lily looked like she paled.

"Is everything okay?" Elizabeth asked pulling her bag off and dropping it by the door, "Nothing has happened to the children has it? Jason? Sly?"

"Everyone is fine," Sonny said quietly as he stood up, "Lily and I just lost track of time. I guess we didn't realize how late it was."

The strong man that she had grown to love as a father now stood before her shaken. It seemed as if he wanted to say something to her but he couldn't form the words. He took her hands and pulled her towards the plush chair in the living room, sitting her down and making himself as comfortable as he could on the coffee table across from her.

"School going okay?" Sonny asked, "You doing fine in your classes? I know you were struggling with Accounting."

"It's good. I got a 'B'," Elizabeth said with a forced smile, "But I get the feeling that we shouldn't be talking about school right now."

"That's not true," Lily said softly from the couch, "We're always interested in how your doing."

"I know that," Elizabeth said looking between the two of them, "But I also know that something is going on right now and the two of you are scaring the hell out of me so could you just please tell me so I can decide whether or not I need to scream or cry or hug someone."

Elizabeth watched as Sonny and Lily shared another silent look between them as if trying to decide what her reaction would be to whatever news they were planning on telling her. She was about to go with screaming when Sonny licked his lips and finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Lily and I, we found out some news today, and we were trying to find a good time to share it with you," he gave her a small smile, "Until you walked in on us."

"This news doesn't sound so good," Elizabeth said as her eyes flickered between them.

"Well," Lily laughed softly and Elizabeth thought she saw tears in the woman's eyes, "I guess that really depends on you."

"I'm not sure what that…"

"I'm pregnant," Lily whispered, "Sonny and I are having a baby."

"You're…" Elizabeth cleared her throat as she felt tears hit her eyes. She tried to blink them away but she suddenly found that she was having a hard time seeing, "You're having a baby. That's wonderful. That's fantastic news. Have you told the children yet?"

Sonny watched as Elizabeth stood up from the chair she was sitting in and walked away from them, wiping furiously at her face. He turned towards his wife when he felt her hand on his arm and he reached out and grasped it tightly.

"We're waiting with the children," Lily said, "Adella is still so young."

"Of course," Elizabeth said as she tucked some hair behind her ear and crossed her arms across her chest, "When is the baby due?"

Lily's eyes fluttered downward and Elizabeth noticed that Sonny was clearing his throat, as if he was struggling with the words that were coming. She hated that they couldn't enjoy this moment in their family because they were worried about how she would deal with the news.

"Early July," Sonny said quietly as his sympathetic brown eyes met hers.

Elizabeth felt as if she had been shot again, as if the bullet was now ripping through her heart instead of her gut. She gripped onto the chair that was in front of her and tried her best to plaster a smile on her face.

"I see," she whispered as the tears slipped down her face, "You're having my baby."

Sonny wished that he could deny it. He wished that he could tell her that the doctor was mistaken and there was no way he could pinpoint the time of conception that perfectly. But it could be true because both he and his wife knew that the moment Elizabeth was taken down by a bullet they were on his island in each other's arms comforting one another.

Sonny and Lily were indeed having the baby that Jason and Elizabeth had lost.

"Elizabeth, we're really…"

Elizabeth laughed as she watched Lily stand up from the couch. She wiped the remainder of her tears from her face and shook her head, "Do not be sorry that you are having a baby. I don't want this family to be anything but happy over this news. You are bringing a life into this world and you two are so much in love. Please, don't be sad because of me."

"But we love you," Sonny said firmly, "And we don't want to do anything that causes you any pain."

"You didn't do this, God did this," Elizabeth said, "And He did it for a reason and right now I'm still struggling to find out what that reasoning was." She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair and suddenly a thought occurred to her, "Jason…"

"Sonny told him earlier today," Lily said.

Elizabeth knew now why she hadn't been able to get a hold of the enforcer. He wasn't out working; he had barricaded himself into his penthouse and shut himself off from the rest of the world. She turned around and ran towards the door before turning back.

"He needs me. I…"

Sonny nodded as he watched the young woman disappear through the door, slamming it shut behind her. He felt his wife slip her arms around his waist, her cheek pressed against his back as she leaned into him.

"Would it be a problem for you to take the rest of the day off so you can just stay here and hold me?"

He turned around and pulled his wife tight against him, kissing her hair. "No problem at all."

Jason's eyes swept across his penthouse suite, taking in every detail as he took another long sip from his beer, Lily would be proud. No damage had been done, the furniture was left unscathed, nothing had been thrown across the room and the only remnants that dare reveal the mood he was in were the beer bottles left strewn about in his wake.

He had tried to unleash the fury inside of him. The minute the door was closed behind Sonny he slammed his fists against it and turned towards his room, ready to let his anger boil over, however the more things he found to break, the more reasons he found to keep them in tact.

He couldn't tear the legs apart on the coffee table, that was where Elizabeth gave him a strip tease. The couch was a place he had taken her more times than he could count. The desk that wasn't far from the door was where she sat and did her Accounting homework while he ordered Kelly's take out and the pool table, God knew that he couldn't touch the precious pool table.

He had thrown Elizabeth out of this penthouse once before and along with it he tried to rid himself of the memories. It was useless. He came home to find that Lily was cleaning up his penthouse and he ordered the repairs to be halted. He wanted to fix the coffee table, he wanted to reattach the couch legs, he wanted to make sure that the pool table was restored to its previous condition. He had broken those things and he wanted to mend them. Now, as he sat here consumed with fury, he couldn't bring himself to break a beer bottle. All he kept thinking about was her reaction, her face when she found out the kind of animal he could become.

"Lily and I," Sonny said quietly as he rubbed the back of his neck, "We're having a baby Jason."

He remembered the way his friend looked at him, pity in his eyes as he relayed the joyous news that seemed to be a burden. Sonny and Lily were carrying the child that Elizabeth lost. Their bundle of joy would be born in early July, the same due date that Elizabeth would have had. Sonny and Lily would be able to rejoice in their baby; Jason had simply killed Elizabeth's.

"We have…" Sonny cleared his throat, "We haven't told Elizabeth. We just found out actually. We wanted to…I wanted to make sure that you heard it from me."

Jason wanted to confirm with his mentor that the words that came out of his mouth were a lie. The way that Sonny was fidgeting, almost sweating, made him think that he and Lily drew straws as to who would tell the feared enforcer the troubling news. Lily usually was the one that helped him deal with his emotions but Jason knew that she wouldn't be able to handle the hate in his eyes when he heard the news.

"I'm sorry, Jason," Sonny said.

Hate for himself.

There was no need for Sonny to be sorry, there was no need for Lily to hide in her penthouse in shame and there was no need for Elizabeth to feel the loss that she was going to succumb to all over again when they broke the news to her.

If he had stepped up and been a man none of this would have happened. If he would have walked back into this door all those months ago, if he would have stopped Elizabeth from walking off with Sly Eckert, if he would have gotten her out of town quicker, if he would have stepped in front of that damn gun. No one would be hurting, no one except him.

Jason finished the rest of the beer and slammed it down on the hardwood floor beside him. He had no idea how long he had been sitting against the leg of the pool table but his back was stiff and his legs were getting numb. He had no intention of moving, he wasn't sure if he was ever planning on it, but he was annoyed at the fact that the bottle remained strong in his grip, refusing to break.

"I'll break you, bastard," he gritted.

He slammed the bottle against the floor, again and again, until the bottom half shattered into pieces and Jason was left with a cruel looking weapon. He snorted, thinking of the times he used these in bar fights, before chucking the piece aside and running his fingers through his spiky hair.

He knew that he should find Elizabeth. He should be the one to tell her that Sonny and Lily were having a baby. He was just afraid, scared of the look that would appear in her eyes, the one he was always worried about, that flicker that read that he was a monster. After all that he had done Elizabeth still looked at him at times as if he were the only man on this earth. When she heard about this she would probably wish that she had never met him.

She probably wished that he was burning in hell.

"Then I'd be burning with you."

Jason whipped his heard around and was surprised to find that Elizabeth was mere inches from him, brushing strands of hair from his face as her fingers gently caressed his cheek. She was here and apparently he was speaking out loud.

"What are you…?"

"I spoke with Sonny and Lily," she whispered as she gently sat down beside him, on the other side of the broken glass. Her eyes then quickly took in his apartment and the half case of beer that he went through, "They told me."

Jason thought that they must have told her something else. She was still looking at him the same way she always did, with a little something more mixed in, pain. Oh God she was pain and he was sure that he was the cause of it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he reached out to touch her, only to pull his hand back as if he had been burned, "I'm sorry for all of this. I wanted nothing more than to make your life better and look what I did, Elizabeth?"

"What did you do?" she whispered as she reached for his hand and squeezed it, "You hired me? You became my friend? You're helping me pass Accounting."

"I killed your baby."

He looked away from her, he had to, when he heard her gasp and she pulled her hand away, pressing it over her mouth. He could almost hear the silent tears slid down her face, almost hear the sob that she tried so hard to stop. It was all pounding inside of his head with the voice that deemed him the devil that caused all of this.

"No, no," she ground out as she took his chin in her hands and forced her to look at him, "Is that what's been eating at you? Is that what you've been keeping inside these past few months? I tried and I tried to get you to talk to me and I know that Lily has been beating her head against a wall when it came to you Jason but I can't…why didn't you come to me?"

"With what? An apology?" he asked with a humorless laugh, "Somehow 'I'm sorry I killed your child' doesn't seem suffice."

"Luis Alcazar killed my child."

"It was my bullet."

"It was my husband!" Elizabeth shouted in his ear, "And to think all this time that you've been suffering in silence. Jason, don't you think that I'm hurting too? This was our child that I lost…let me finish," she snapped when he opened his mouth, "Our child, our daughter that was taken from us, not me Jason, us. We should be sharing our grief not hiding it from one another."

"I can't share it with you," Jason said looking down at their linked hands, "Not when I made you go back to that bastard. I have done nothing but push you away and cause you pain and…"

Elizabeth laughed as she wiped the tears from her face with her free hand, "Nothing but pain? Jason, you took a lost girl in from a storm, you are the reason I had food on my table, you are the reason I felt safe and secure. I was so wrapped up in that, I forgot someone was chasing me, I forgot I was on the run; I knew nothing other than the fact that I had this wonderful man to come home to. You gave a whore a second chance at life."

"Elizabeth, you are not, nor were you ever, a wh…"

"You give me a reason to get up in the morning," she whispered as she twisted her body and leaned closer to him, "I was there. I was at that point where I wanted nothing and no one and I was ready to end it all and you came in, like this angel, and you wouldn't let me give in. You broke down my walls and you wrapped me up in your warm leather coat and you took care of me. Jason," she whispered as she leaned closer, her tears falling on his tee shirt, "You gave me a reason to dream again, to look forward to tomorrow, to be thankful for today. I only wish I could do the same for you."

Jason leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, sliding his fingers through her chestnut locks and pulling her closer. This is what she could give him, this is what he needed, to be buried inside of Elizabeth, to be wrapped up in her. He moaned softly as he moved his other hand and twisted it in her curls.

For the first time in months, Elizabeth felt alive. It as if someone had lit a fire to her veins and her whole being was ignited. Being with Jason was indeed like being home. It was the once place she could always go to when things became too much. Sliding her arms around him she pressed her body against his, her backside easily sliding into his lap.

Jason felt the temperature in the penthouse start to climb as he kissed Elizabeth over and over, her small little sighs getting caught up in his lips. Then his tongue slid out of his mouth and joined hers, the familiar taste of beer causing her to groan as she ran her nails along the nape of his neck. He knew that this was wrong but when did he ever do anything right?

"You're my reason," she whispered as he pulled back slightly and pressed kisses to her damp cheeks, her tears disappearing under the warm lave of his tongue. He moved back to her mouth again, kissing the corners before her tongue slipped out to dance with his.

"Do me a favor," Jason whispered as he pulled back and pressed a kiss to her warm lips, "Don't go."

Elizabeth moaned softly when he kissed her again, his tongue meeting with hers briefly before she pulled away this time, a smile lingering on her lips. Her eyes were sparkling and she could see a small flicker mirrored in Jason's eyes.

"Try and get rid of me," she smirked as she felt his hand sliding up her back and her body being lowered towards the floor.

She was held in place when they both heard a small knock on the door behind them. Jason righted her and she sat still in his lap when the knock came again and Lily's voice drifted through from the other end.

Jason was the first to shift beneath her and Elizabeth moved, scurrying to her feet and straightening her shirt. She looked up at him, saw the desire lingering in his eyes and decided that she had better be the one to answer the door.

"Hi," Lily smiled as she stood there with Sonny by her side, his arm lopped around her waist, "We just wanted to make sure that you two were okay."

Elizabeth turned back towards Jason and watched him walk towards her, rubbing the stiffness out of his neck as he tried to get his legs to work normally again. The desire still lingered and so did a little of the pain. She smiled up at him when she felt the palm of his hand touch the small of her back and he smiled back, a small sparkle in his eyes.

"No," Elizabeth said shaking her head as she looked back at Lily and Sonny, "Right now, we're not okay," she smiled back up at Jason, "But we will be."