Let me know.

A.N.: This is my very first published JAG story, so bear with me. Reviews are very much appreciated.

Disclaimers: Every night I wish I own DJE, but so far, no luck. They're all still Mr. Bellisario's. So don't sue me.

Spoilers: set during "Death at the Mosque ", after the scene in which Harm sends Mac away at the hospital.

'Let me know when you need me'. Such simple words, spoken to one friend from another. Very normal words, hard to misread. But, in the typical Harm and Mac way, these words become awkward and ill-timed. Timing has never been our strong point, right Mac?

I mean, I did try to tell you I needed you, but you couldn't even answer the phone, find a secluded spot to hear me out. I heard the music coming from the room at wherever the place in San Diego was you were at. And I could tell by your choice of words that you were not alone either.

I understand, though. This was a mandatory occasion after all and even if it wasn't, you deserve to have a good time after all that has happened to you these past months.

And if I did tell you about Mattie straight away, you would have found a way to get back to D.C. ASAP, I know that too.

Truth is, I couldn't let you do that. Not just because I want you to have some fun in your life, but because…well, because…okay…because I'm already damn close to breaking down. Having you here with me would have been my downfall. And I'm not ready to fall yet, I have to stay strong. For Mattie.

But then you did show up. You tried to show your support and in itself it was a balm to my heart. Until you touched me. That simple gesture almost became the end of me. Do you know how tempted I was? To lean into that touch, to rest my weary head against your chest and let your presence engulf me? I was so close to giving in.

But I can't. The timing has never been more wrong. I am in full father-mode and I can't deal with any other long suppressed feelings right now. Besides, we've been down this road so many countless times, and it doesn't get us anywhere. I'm too old to mistake friendship for love, comfort for sex.

God, Mac, the two of us are so depressing at some point, even more so than the beeping of the machines designed to keep Mattie alive. The doctor mentioned that a whole lot of 'ifs' are always better than one 'no way', but I don't think the same applies to us.

Minutes drag on and become yet another hour of nothing, just waiting. My back aches as I try to get comfortable enough to get some much needed shut-eye. But real sleep eludes me, I only manage to drift off into uneasy fits of slumber.

The doctor hovers over me and I'm instantly wide awake. But there'sno change in Mattie's condition. he's here bacause of mine.His voice is commanding, where as I'm not the Navy Commander by a long shot. Despite my 6'4" frame he practically kicks me out, with the promise he'll call me if anything changes.

So here I am, on my way home for some real sleep, a shower, some food maybe, when I change my mind. You asked me to let you know when I needed you. I need you now.

You open after what feels like minutes, dressed in nothing but a skimpy shirt you obviously use as a nightgown. Wait, wasn't that one mine a long time ago? It clearly has 'US Navy' printed on it? Why do you sleep in my shirt?

I'm too tired to ask, and you're too understanding to make me motivate my decision in coming to you in the middle of the night. Instead, you give me the warmest smile I've ever seen on your face. You stretch out your arms to me in an unspoken invitation. I give in. I do need you now. Willingly I succumb to your embrace. Willingly I let you lead me to your bedroom, where I sleep soundly in your arms, finally at peace.

Maybe this timing thing is improving anyway...