Chapter 9: Pennyroyal Tea

Sakura sat huddled in the corner of her bathroom, sobbing. It was destroyed, all gone.

Why? Why must everything be destroyed? Why couldn't anything go right for her, just once? But what was she supposed to expect, that she could just get the abortion and get away with it? No, that was not how her life worked, it always came to pieces, to tatters.

The child was gone, of course. It was gone. Dead. No longer there. The guilt burned into her like a hot iron. No, Juliya and Roxy were wrong. She hadn't 'terminated the pregnancy' she had killed a little baby. The funny thing was, Sakura had never bought any of that christian right-to-life bullshit, and a part of her still didn't. She had every right to do with her body as she wanted... But...

She had looked in the basin where the little thing lay dying. Oh, why did she have to look? It... actually had he beginnings of a face. Or more to the point, Sasuke's perfect shaped eyes, only colorless. Theeye shapethat she, as a young girl, had practically worshipped. And now... they were gone.

She felt so sick, so sick, like nothing ever before. Like nothing had even come out of her stomach. Awful. Awful. Awful.

And worst of all, Sasuke knew. He had met the doctor on his way out, who unwittingly told him that Aira Watsuki required his services. Why on earth did that have to happen? Why? Why? No, memories just swam along.

Sasuke had stormed into her room in a horrible rage and shook her awake. She awoke, frightened, to see his glaring eyes.

"Tell me it's not true, Sakura, and I'll believe you," he had muttered to her.

She hung her head and started to cry. "I didn't know what to do. If I became pregnant, all hope for me getting free would be lost. And I couldn't tell you because I knew you would not let me. I didn't know what to do! I'm sorry!"

He pushed her violently back on the bed. She groaned in pain and looked at him pleadingly. He stode over to where the basin sat, took off the sheet.

"No!" She croaked out desperately, but he looked.

It would be impossible to describe the look on his face when he saw what lay in the basin. He just stood and stared. "Sakura, come look," he said in a pained voice.

Sakura hesitated, but he just called her again. "Sakura, come look."

She trembled as she got up and looked in the basin. The sight of it made her cry even harder. Sasuke just looked down at her more fiercely. "You look. You should at least deal with some of the consequences of your actions."

Sakur slapped him. "Well, it's all well and good for you, isn't it? You aren't the one caged up and desperate, you weren't the one carrying it? And let me remind you, I wasn't fucking myself all night!"

Sasuke just stared at her stonily. "Ino, Shika, Naruto, and Hinata have arrived on a mission to oust Tojo and set the girls of the Harem free. They are on the brink of success, so we no longer need to carry out our plan. We no longer require any association with each other. You'll be out in a month."

Without another word, he was gone. Sakura howled and shrieked. How could this all be ruined! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

She stumbled to the bathroom and ran to the toilet, throwing up violently, this time not due to morning sickness. When she was finally done, she fell backwards, cracking her head upon the bath tub. But she didn't care, she just sat there and wept untill there were no more tears.

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She awoke to see the faces of four girls she knew. Hinata, Ino, Roxy, and Juliya stared down at her worriedly, not blinking, as if movement might kill her.

"Oh, thank God, you're up," Juliya said, clueing Sakura in to their level of concern. Juliya never thanked God for anything.

Sakura sat up and rubbed her eyes. "What's going on?"

"That isn't important right now, oh Sakura, are you okay?" Ino asked desperately, taking Sakura into her arms. Sakura just sat there woodenly, trying to figure out what Ino and Hinata were doing there. And then she remembered.

"Where's Sasuke?" She asked, breaking away and looking at all the girls. All of them glanced at each other nervously.

"S-sasuke i-is in the Harem, around," Hinata said, looking down.

Sakura's anger rose. Why hadn't he come to check on her? "Where? I need to speak to him, right now."

"Sasuke? Whose Sasuke? Do you guys mean Davey?" Roxy asked puzzledly.

"Yeah, oh, Sakura, I'm sorry, but Sasuke's still mad about, well, you know.."

Before she knew it, she was screaming. "WELL HE CAN JUST GET OVER IT! HE'S THE ONE WHO GOT ME PREGNANT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT IT HAPPENED, AND I COULDN'T GIVE UP MY CHANCES AT FREEDOM TO HAVE A KID! TOO MUCH WAS BEING RUINED BY IT! I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE, BUT I GUESS HE'S TOO FUCKING UNFEELING AND CLOSE-MINDED TO GIVE A SHIT!"

"Riding on what? Your name is Sakura? What the hell is going on?" Juliya asked, looking back and forth between the other four girls.

"N-naruto and Sh-shike are t-trying to m-make him come around. D-don't worry, Sakura, h-he'll get over it." Hinata said, not feeling to sure.

"And what if he doesn't, huh?" Sakura challenged. "Then what?"

"Well, then, you'll get out of here in a month and be back home in Konoha and writing in Cosmopolitan Magazine about what an asshole he is," replied Ino simply.

Sakura looked down. It was all over, the fairytale was gone. Her life was shattered, and worst of all, Aira's life was gone too. How the heck was she going to take care of her after she got out?

She asked as much to Ino and the others. "Don't worry, we'll help you, you don't need Dav- I mean, Sasuke," Roxy said pulling her into a hug. The other girls joined in.

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Naruto's words kept echoing in his head, and he wished they would shut up. But he knew he was wrong. But, how could he admit it, after what he had done? And could he ever really forgive Sakura, either? It seemed impossible after seeing that little bean-shaped body. A bean-shaped body with no scent, just like him. A bean-shaped body that never had one. A tear fell off the tip of his nose. Great, Sakura, now look what you did.

It wasn't her fault entirely. He should not have fooled around, and he should have known I mean, all the signs were there, he just hadn't seen them. But it was now so obvious to him, he could not help but feel sorry for her. He should be helping her now, especially after she had to go through that. She could probably use his support. But maybe she didn't want it after what happened. Maybe she didn't need it. After all, Ino and the others were there...

He was just making excuses, but he couldn't help but be angry for some reason. Maybe it was the way it had looked, maybe it was the way it had no smell. Maybe it was the fear in her eyes when she admitted what she had done and told him she was afraid of his response. She was afraid of him, like he was a monster, an unnatural thing that she didn't want. Just like that little fetus...

He sighed and buried his head in his hands. He had such high hopes for him and Sakura. That maybe she would be able to be the one to help him restore his clan. But it now seemed clear as to how she took responsibility when it was thrusted into her hands. But... He couldn't do it with anybody else...

"That's so far from the truth, you have no idea."

Sasuke looked up to see Naruto standing over him angrily.

"I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?" Sasuke asked sarcastically.

"Yes, you did, idiot. And let me tell you something, when we heard you were dead, she was completely broken up and depressed, didn't eat or sleep for a week.When her parents died a few months later, it only got worse, Sakura was left in extreme debt. It was so bad she had to quit her ninja training and give up her dreams to pay it back. It crushed her, but she did it all for her sister. She gave up everything she hoped for just so Aira could havea decent life. Even when Aira got sick and lost her speech and movement, Sakura didn't give up. She worked three part-time jobs at night and took care of Aira during the day, only getting a few hours of sleep and almost every scrap of food and money was given to her sister. And finally, when it seemed that the debt would never be paid and this disgusting little man showed up, hitting on her, well... you know the rest. But don't you ever say that Sakura can't face responsibility or hardship, because you'd be dead wrong."

Sasuke stared at Naruto stupidly for a few minutes. "so what makes the baby any different, why couldn't she take that?"

"Because she was willing to risk her happiness with you and give up her child o help the women around her gain freedom. And now you won't even speak to her." With that, he left the room.

Sasuke looked down at the ground. He was just... such a total idiot. How much did he know about Sakura, anyways? They didn't talk much, they never did. Even when they were kids, all he focussed on was his stupid revenge, ignoring her and her emotions completely out of complete selfishness.

He hadn't grown up much since then.

After all, was he not just sitting here, brooding, drinking tea, doing nothing while the woman he said he loved sat in another room crying over what something he'd done? If he really cared for her, he would comfort her. He was such a stupid fake.

He felt sick and tired, and just, so worn out. He was already destroying his life a second time because of his own pride. And once again, he had alienated the one person he cared for most. But he would save self-hate for later. He had more pressing matters to attend to.

But no, he was still sitting here. God damn it. Why wasn't he moving? With Naruto gone, there was no other human. No scent. No smell at all. It sickened him. Sasuke desperately inhaled the steam of the tea, taking in the fumes of Pennyroyal. Ugh, he felt sick. No smell, no smell, no smell...

Sasuke collapsed on the ground, withering in sickness and self-hate. He was a scoundrel, a fake, evil, disgusting...

NO! It was back again, the feeling he got when he was a kid, when he thought of Itachi. The sight of his brother's face flashed before his eyes. "See little brother? I still win, I still remain. I reduce you to nothing, I remain. I live inside you and I control you. You shall never know peace or love... Foolish little brother? You are merely a has-been avenger, Nothing... You are nothing, nothing to anyone. You were once, but you won't be again.."

"NO!"

Sasuke stood up, clutching his stomach. He went into his bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a box. He filled a glass with water, and dropped two cherry flavored ant-acids into the cup. He watched them dissolve, smirking. As the pills dissolved and disappeared, so did his brother's voice. When they were done, he downed the glass and headed out.

Good-bye, Foolish Big Brother.

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AN: Short chapter, sorry. But the next one will rock! Also, Let me make it clear that I'm not a right-to-lifer. I just thought this might make an interesting plot twist. Oh, and anyone who hasn't done so already, read my new story: Tainted Angel