Author's Notes: Amy wanted this posted ASAP and I'm here to follow through. And what's all this talk about me writing smut? Ay! Alas, my !#$ notebook is hidden well away from any prying eyes. I'm still debating whether I should or not. Last time was a fluke. Have you read firegoddess's? OMG! Damn! Anyway, thanks for the reviews everyone. Don't worry Joseph, unless it fits the tone of the storyline itself, there won't be any gratuitous off-the-wall descriptions that are completely unecessary tothe story. Lex and Lois's friendship was going to deteriorate from the getgo. There was no getting around that, for me. It's sad on behalf of Lois. I'm glad it got across well. rhenq, thank you for the kind comments. I made the same psyche out in Chapter 30 from the very beginning. LOL! I love doing stuff like that. It keeps me on my toes too.
Metamorphosis – Chapter 31
I could recite my speech a million times over and it still isn't good enough. On the way to Lois's place, I go over in my head the exact words I'm going to say and every time I hear myself say it, it keeps changing. Like a bad draft that keeps being returned for rewrites. It's a lot more different trying to gather the right words to tell Lois than it was telling Chloe.
For one, I'm in love with Lois Lane, which counts for a lot.
I reach my place but I don't quite seem to be able to turn the knob and enter. No amount of preparations could help ease my mind for the impending discussion. I stand in front of my door, unmoving.
Sighing, I turn and lean back on it. Sliding myself down until I reach the floor. Thinking. My heart races and I feel like a total wreck. I shouldn't be, though, Lois has had it hard this week. I shouldn't have any excuses.
But I'm still nervous.
Not dreadfully nervous, just nervous.
"Smallville?"
I look up and see Lois gazing down on me, concern on her face. I must look crazy just sitting out there in the hallway.
"Lois"
"What are you doing sitting outside your door? Lose a key?"
"No… I… um… I've got something to tell you"
Lois looks at me, her eyes full of amusement and I wonder what she's thinking.
"You think we could do this inside or is a live audience more preferable for you?"
"Oh," I realize and I mentally smack myself. I get up from my sitting position and quickly unlock the door to my room. I ask her in first and she obliges. "I thought you'd be here all ready"
"I spent the day with Chloe"
"Right," I remembered. I gave Chloe my spare key to check up on Lois this morning. I'm so glad the two of them have become close friends. They're like sisters now.
"So, what's up? You sounded serious out there"
I take in a large intake of air. This is it. The moment of truth. I cross my fingers behind my back and pray she doesn't freak out. I can never tell how people would react to my secrets. With the exception of my parents and Chloe, everyone else that's seen me use my powers was either meteor-influenced people or millionaires who want something in return.
"There's something about me that I've wanted to share with you"
"Oh yeah. What is there about Clark Kent that I don't already know about?" she says with a playful smile.
"A lot of things, actually"
Lois raises an eyebrow with interest.
I know what she's doing, and I love her even more for it. She did the same thing when we first started dating. Whenever I felt nervous about breaching a sensitive topic or any kind of topic, she would start it off in a fun and relaxed manner and it helps me open up without feeling too embarrassed about it.
"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" she asks, her tone teasing. I shake my head, trying to stop the grin forcing its way to my lips.
"God no!" I reply wholeheartedly.
"That's a relief," she nods. Sometimes I wonder if she does this just to rile me up because she can. And if so, I don't blame her because I'm probably the most insecure person in this city.
"To be honest, I hope that after I tell you what I've wanted to tell you for a long time, it's you that won't break up with me"
The smile on her face slowly became serious.
"You make it sound like it's something life-alteringly huge"
"It is," I say truthfully. "And I know the wound is pretty fresh right now, but everything I'm going to tell you now is everything Lex has wanted to know about me since the day I saved his life on that bridge five years ago"
The silence that followed was excruciating to my ears. I don't think I've ever been more scared of anything my entire life until this moment. I hope I haven't lost her before I even get the chance to explain, but I know that's just my fears bubbling to the surface again. I really need to get rid of that, it just prevents me from moving forward.
Lois made her way to my bed, sitting on the soft cushion, both hands on her lap waiting for me to make the first move. I pull out a chair from my desk and placed it in front of her. I realize now that I'm not the only one who's afraid.
Somehow, it makes what I'm about to reveal a little easier to bear.
"When I first met Lex, his car went off the bridge and into the water. I swam down and helped him out of it," I recalled softly. I've went over the events probably just as much times as Lex has.
"I know, Clark, Lex told – " I stop her with a couple of fingers to her lips. I wanted to tell her in my words, not Lex's.
She let's me continue.
"He was driving at over 80 miles per hour when he hit me on that bridge"
Lois opened her mouth to speak but closed it soon after. And when she found her voice, "He hit you?"
"Yes"
I could see her squeezing her jaw shut and the image of disbelief crossing her features. But she didn't say anything further and I took it as a sign to continue.
So I did.
"I ripped his car hood off and took him ashore. Since then, he's been trying to figure out how he survived that crash, and every time I feel like I could trust him, he'd do something questionable and I'd fall back to keeping my secret to myself. Lying to him wasn't a plan and it wasn't intentional. It's who I am and it's what I do to keep myself… my family… and my friends' safe"
A long moment passed before Lois speaks. "So you were affected by the meteors too?" She looked like her mind was having a deathly debate in whether to believe my story by keeping an open mind. Her own experience in Smallville was enough to help her do so.
That would be my normal assumption, but I already knew that what I'm about to reveal to her next was going to change everything. Possibly even our relationship, but good or bad, it's a risk I want to make. We both deserve that much.
"No, Lois, I wasn't affected by the meteors"
She looks at me confused.
"But you just said…"
"I know. But the meteors had nothing to do with who I am"
"Who exactly are you?" she says softly. I could feel and hear her heart racing as fast as mine. I could even see her hand slightly tremble, and for a brief moment, I contemplated stopping… but I knew I couldn't. I needed to see this through. If not now, I may never.
"I'm a man that can do a lot of things… a lot of amazing things. I wake up sometimes and wonder how I could do all these things, and I ask myself why did it have to be me? I always looked at it as a burden but I don't anymore. I'm happy with who I am now and I want to share that with you." A pause. "I'm a man that can fly but it's you that sweeps me off my feet"
Something clicked inside of me when I said those last words. Like I knew what I was supposed to do. Like my abilities are suddenly connected to one another and I can sense how to use them without even thinking.
Lois remained speechless; she honestly didn't know what to say. I'm sure the words 'I'm a man that can fly' is still processing itself in her head. I can't even believe I said that either.
She stood up abruptly and I follow.
"Are you okay?"
Please don't run away from me.
With all the schooling and worldly travels that Lois has experienced throughout her relatively short life, she didn't see my confession coming at all. Regretfully, her life's experiences were all useless to her now that she has a boyfriend claiming that he can fly right in front of her.
"I… I don't know"
She's not running away from me and that leaves me with more hope than I could hope for. I turn to the window and opened it wide. I stare back at Lois and hope she could see all the emotions I was feeling right now that I lay bare in front of her.
I hold my hand out. "Fly with me, Lois." In my heart and in my soul, I knew how to and I wanted to cross that barrier with the woman who taught me how to live life, and how to cherish it.
I could tell that a part of her doesn't believe me, and I don't blame her with that either. I've never given her any doubt to think I was anything other than a farm boy from Kansas.
She looks away from me, surveying my room like there was something missing.
"You can't fly, Smallville. And unless you've got an advanced jet pack hiding somewhere on you, humans don't fly"
I realize then that she hadn't yet realized what I am exactly so I stepped away from the window and I move towards her.
She doesn't flinch.
I cradle her chin with my fingers and lift her lips to touch mine.
She still didn't flinch and she returned my kiss as passionately as I give myself to her.
"I'm not human," I say in a whisper and I can feel her gasp softly at the revelation. I keep her close, one arm wrapped around her waist while the other stayed caressing her cheek. "Fly with me," I ask again. "I won't let you go, I promise"
She looked down when she felt her feet go light. We were floating a couple of feet off the ground. Lois's mouth was left agape as she looked back and forth from my eyes to my feet and back to my eyes again.
I could tell she was surprised, but she didn't look the least bit afraid. I inwardly thank her for that.
"We're flying," she describes, her voice expressing still shock.
"Technically, we're floating, but I do want to fly with you." I lean down and kissed her again, and for the second time tonight, she didn't flinch or back away. "Will you fly with me, Lois Lane?"
She nodded before letting out a soft yes. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me tightly.
I do the same.
We're going to fly, and tonight, I could take her anywhere.
To be continued…