A/N: Okay, some people seem to have certain doubts about how Naruto/Temari could be achieved. Simple: I'll work towards it! Geez… a little bit of coincidence here, a bit of luck there, a nicely timed meeting in between… I'm pretty sure I can figure something out.

Besides this… thanks for all your reviews! xD I won't reply to them, but I will address issues that keep popping up. You guys were great… except for this dude who I will not mention by name. (Rolls eyes) Sheesh, man… must you rely on petty insults and name-calling to try and get a rise out of me? Whatever. Anyway, I won't delete your review. It makes me laugh, and adds one point to my review count. (Smile)

You guys don't like the chapter book thing popping up, you say? (Looks mournfully at page after page of information.) Oh well. That's okay, I guess. I just thought it might be easier for you to believe how Naruto got a lot better if you actually saw what he read.

Also… WTF! All the pointy angled brackets I used to signify paragraph changes disappeared! Grr… Stupid Eh. I won't be changing the ones that are already there, but from now on I will make sure they appear.

Another thing: I got 2000 hits! And 128 reviews! C'mon, guys… just leave a word. It really helps. Also… there are people who put PNSI as their favorite story and didn't review. OO Um… I really don't want it to seem as if I'm review-greedy (okay, I am, but…) but… seriously! Would it hurt you that much! It really makes my day, you know.

Sorry for whining.

So… on with the fanfiction!

Professional Ninja Skills for Idiots

Chapter 4

Naruto squatted in a clearing, squinting around him periodically.

The blond ninja crouched, hands on his knees, eyes flickering around him as he tried to detect any sign of life. He was in the forest (not that that was a very definitive term; most of Konoha was forest), waiting… for something. Anything, really.

Why was he doing this? Well, it was pretty simple.

A few days before, he had been in the training area near to the Academy. It wasn't very good. The equipment was old, rusty, and seemed to break and collapse apart, more often than not hurting someone in the process.

On the other hand, it was raining. Since training in the cold, biting air with lancets of painfully frigid water stinging his skin really didn't appeal to him, he had no choice but to train here.

It had almost become a habit, really. Wake up, take a slow jog around Konoha to loosen up, then return home and gulp a cup or five of ramen down. Then, head to school, sneak peeks out of what he had come to think of as 'The Book' while pretending to listen to Iruka-sensei, and then finally spend some time practicing his Taijutsu (and lately, some Ninjutsu) in the afternoons. The weights he had sort of gotten used to, and besides the occasional muscle cramp (which hurt like hell!) it was pretty okay.

Anyway, that day, he had been methodically beating up a scarecrow-looking dummy, performing a series of three quick kicks over and over again on it. 'Head, chest, knee, twirl, head, chest, knee…' Naruto thought, bored. Finally, in order to amuse himself, he decided to try changing the twirl a bit, pirouetting in the air. It didn't work very well.

"Oof!" He exhaled forcefully, the air knocked out of him. He lay face-first in the straw, panting tiredly. Faintly, he heard someone laughing behind him.

"It's not funny!" he complained from his position. Due to the odd position he was in, it came out more like "'fhish mot sunny!" which, as you might have expected, confused whoever it was behind Naruto.

"Whatever…" a lazy-sounding snort emanated from behind him. Rolling over, Naruto stared at the figures, wet straw sticking to his face and making him look slightly comical.

"Hi, Shikamaru, Chouji! What're you guys doing here?" he asked curiously, reclining on the floor.

"The floor's not exactly clean, you know…" Chouji remarked to nobody, in between a break from munching on the bag of fried potato crisps he held. "Kiba trained in here yesterday, and Akamaru… well, you know how he gets."

"What do you mean, huh?" Naruto inquired, his mind baffled by the leaps of logic required. "Akamaru and Kiba… get…? OH! EWWW!" Naruto screamed, pulling his legs back and using his hands to springboard himself into a standing position, his legs snapping back to support him. "That's SO GROSS!" His voice reverberated throughout the space, as if mocking him.

"Stop screaming, will ya?" Shikamaru grumbled, leaning against a wall. "You're so troublesome."

"You guys didn't answer me the first time," Naruto said hurriedly while brushing off his back, wrinkling his nose and cringing every time he looked at the floor.

"Well… normally we go to the top of a building close to here to… well, to stare at clouds and eat, but it's being renovated now, and since it's rainy…" The plump boy shrugged, continuing to stuff himself.

"Oh…" Naruto said, looking down, depressed for a moment. That kind of thing would probably be fun… if he had someone to do it with. But the blond boy was not one to dwell on such matters. Within seconds he forgot it and moved on.

"So, do ya want to fight? Huh?" Naruto smiled, cracking his knuckles. "I've improved a lot! You guys won't be able to touch me! Taijutsu only!" he boasted.

Chouji glanced at Shikamaru, who appeared to be snoozing. "Taijutsu…?" he said. "That wouldn't really be fair…"

"Huh? Whaddya mean?" Naruto asked, confusion on his face.

"Chouji comes from the Akimichi clan. They have their own special brand of Taijutsu, and their family Jutsu… he's been trained in it since young. Since the Taijutsu you know is the one taught to most ninjas – and which Chouji's Taijutsu is meant to counter – it wouldn't be fair." Shikamaru said, dark eyes flashing, before he closed his eyes again.

Naruto was freaked out. "What the! I thought he was asleep!"

"He gets like that sometimes."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I can beat you, no matter what Taijutsu you have! C'mon, let's up and at it!" Naruto cheered himself on.

"If you say so…" Chouji muttered to himself, readying his stance. He dropped into a wide horse stance, arms spread out slightly.

"Defensive? Well, that's too bad for you… 'cause I've been practicing just for this!" with that, Naruto sped towards Chouji, a confident smirk on his face.

Chouji really was surprised as the blond moved towards him, an orange figure growing bigger at a rapid pace. He was faster than most of the other students, though he was still slower than Kiba, Sasuke and a few others. But he had improved tremendously in a few weeks! 'Naruto… when did you become so strong?' Chouji wondered, remembering the joker only few weeks before who had, it seemed, been on a failing streak.

But speed wouldn't help. It was the nemesis of the Akimichi clan… until Chouji's great-great grandfather, Tamure, had devised the defensive Taijutsu that had become the signature style of the Akimichi clan.

Naruto, charging at his opponent, didn't notice the subtle forced relaxation of Chouji… until it was too late.

The hyperactive ninja abruptly stopped, snarling incoherently as all his momentum was suddenly transported to his leg, which pivoted and blurred towards Chouji. His arm was already raised, swinging towards Chouji with the intention to hit him if his first blow missed.

So he was unprepared when Chouji calmly used his left arm to ward off the blow, ducked beneath his arm, and slammed a beefy palm into his chest.

A meaty 'thunk' sounded, and Naruto flew backwards, flipping and sliding on the floor, as he coughed hard, trying to recover. Pain bloomed in his chest, a pulsating ache that really hurt. "Oww…" he mumbled as, leaping backwards, he managed to narrowly avoid Chouji's next powerful strike.

"Are you okay?" the boy asked concernedly. Naruto really was quite extraordinary. Usually, people were knocked out by the first hit. When he could hit them, anyway. It wasn't every day that his opponents just charged straight up at him and tried to land a blow.

"Yeah…" he wheezed. Suddenly, though, a sly smile crossed over his face. "But you should really look out for yourself." He had maneuvered the two of them over to another section of the training area, filled with weapons, rope, strings and the like. Grabbing a long rope that Chouji was conveniently semi-tangled in, he heaved mightily.

"Huh? Wha- ah!" All of a sudden, Chouji found his leg strung up with a tangled mess. "Hey, no fair!" Grabbing a kunai from his belt-pouch, the plump boy attempted to slice through it.

Naruto, grinning now, finally regained his breath. His second wind had come. Knowing that this was the best time to attack, he sprinted towards his opponent, closing the distance. Chouji sawed furiously at the rope, but knew it was futile – he was only starting to fray it. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact.

The kick sent him flying back, and he rolled for a while, a fiery pain in his stomach. After he rolled to a stop, he gasped for breath, opening his eyes to see Naruto looming over him. He dodged the first punch that slammed into the floor, but fell prey to the sliding kick Naruto delivered smoothly. "Owch!" Naruto whined, when his hand hit the hard ground.

Puffing, Chouji tried to stand up, but was forced to drop to the floor when Naruto advanced and sent a leg swerving through the air. "This is really tiring," he complained, lurching forward and rushing Naruto with a shoulder. The hyperactive energy ball leapt back.

"Give up, then!" he yelled, placing his hands on the floor to spring himself forward, kicking Chouji in the face. Chouji grunted, stumbling backwards, then falling over as Naruto did crouched and sent his leg in a circle around him, sweeping Chouji's legs from under the plump boy. The ground shook slightly. A red-faced Chouji gasped, "I give up!"

"Hey, you okay?" he said, a confident smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah... you win. Good for you." Chouji grumbled, feeling slightly disgruntled (but better physically).

"Nah, it was just luck. I see what you mean, though," Naruto commented, as he helped pull Chouji to his feet.

"About what?" Chouji said, shaking his head to clear it. They started their way back to Shikamaru.

"Taijutsu, of course! That was really cool! It was totally different from what they taught us at the Academy… I mean, you used your palm, instead of a fist, and all that other stuff! Can you teach me? Please?" Naruto begged, grabbing on to Chouji's arm.

"Uh… I can't. But you can make your own!" Chouji hurriedly added as Naruto's face fell.

"Really?" Naruto's face lit up again.

"Yeah, lots of Clans do that! Sometimes, they just use what they're good at to create a form of their own, like mine."

"Well… I don't really have anything I'm good at…" Naruto pondered for a moment. Soon, they reached Shikamaru, and both of the boys sank down next to the lazy, dark-haired boy.

"Why don't you use an animal, then?" Shikamaru suggested. His eyes finally opened.

"Geez, why don't you give us a warning before you do that!" Naruto snapped, his hair standing up on end for the second time that day.

"Well, if you don't want to hear it…" Shikamaru shrugged.

"No, wait! C'mon... just tell me already," Naruto grumbled.

"I already did. Use an animal." The heir of the Nara clan shot back.

"Oh! Um… how do you do that?" Naruto hesitantly asked, scratching his head.

Chouji thought hard for a second. "I remember reading somewhere… you're supposed to just observe it, as it eats and feeds and moves, that kind of thing. So you've got to pick a predator… After all, anything that eats veggies can't be too powerful." Chouji stated, showing his contempt of vegetarians.

"In that case, I'll go and find a pred-… a pred-… whatever, tonight!" Naruto grinned and gave a thumbs-up sign.

Which was how he was now in a forest clearing.

"What animal do I pick…?" Naruto wondered out loud, slapping his arm as a mosquito stung it. "Hmm, mosquito…? Nah, not impressive enough," he sighed, turning around to peer behind him. "How will I choose…?"

"I know! I can just choose the first proper animal that comes in." He decided.

As it was, it didn't take long.

His eyes widened.

A/N: Don't you hate me for ending it here? Yeah, I know, it's not much of a cliffhanger. Oh well.

Curse me, I'm too lazy to count all the scores. All I know is that NaruTemari is winning. (Shrugs). That isn't too bad.

Remember, vote and review! xD

SD