A/N: Gosh, guys, sorry for the AGES since my last update. It's just… time slips by so fast! Holy crap! Procrastination is the ultimate nemesis of successful fanfiction-writing…

Professional Ninja Skills for Idiots

Chapter 10

"I've got to get out of here," Naruto mumbled inanely, edging towards a free window. Before whoever in the ceiling could appear (Naruto had never, in his life, ever seen so much Chakra!) the hyperactive ninja leapt recklessly towards the window, heedless of the half-inch thick window pane.

Shouldering it heavily, it broke apart under his momentum with a sharp crash, showering the air with shards of glass and a fine powder. Naruto winced, as a particularly nasty fragment ripped through his jumpsuit, tearing a bloody gash in his body. The forcible muscle contraction aggravated another wound – damn, the cut in his back! – causing it to burn fiercely.

The Sandaime watched, open-mouthed, as the blond fell half a dozen stories to the ground. With a snap of smoke and a few seals, he felt his body move through space, appearing in the office. Quickly, he leapt forward and looked down through the inky blackness of night.

Far, far below, there was an orange shape on the ground. Cocking his ears, he heard a small thud as feet hit the floor, followed by the pattering of feet.

How Naruto had seen him – for the Chakra threads should have been invisible, and the Sandaime clearly saw him glance at the rough location of his hiding spot – would have to wait.

Grimly, the Sandaime flashed through another series of complicated seals, pulsing a silent call to a Chuunin – Mizuki, he'd heard the name said – who was particularly susceptible to mental messages, and told him to rouse Iruka and the other Academy instructors. No matter what reasons Naruto had, forbidden was forbidden.

A manhunt was in order.

Naruto leapt through the forest with a grin on his face and a scroll in his hands. Now, all he had to do was get to where Mizuki told him... he'd named it pretty precisely, Mizuki-sensei had. "Get to an oak tree with three horizontal kunai slashes on the trunk, about a meter off the ground."

Well, he was there...but Mizuki wasn't.

"Dammit, the test was pretty easy, but I have to wait, too!" Naruto complained. "What am I supposed to do until he gets here? Sit and drool?"

Naruto tried just that for about four seconds before he gave up. God, he was bored…

Finally, his eyes alighted upon the scroll in his hand. Why not...? After all, Mizuki didn't say he couldn't… Carefully unrolling the scroll, Naruto veritably bounced in excitement, looking at the contents with a barely veiled anticipation.

Since he was looking at a small scroll, he was completely unprepared when it exploded into a cloud of smoke that he recognized as being Henge. "Shit…! A trap?" he muttered, drawing a kunai and leaping away.

But no, it was no trap. The scroll had just tripled its size, and lay on the floor, inert, practically begging Naruto to open it and look…

So he did so.

Enraptured, he spent the next few hours memorizing the Jutsus in place. He wished he had a pen to copy the seals and ideas down, but all he brought were his weapons… oh well, he would get what he could. No wonder Mizuki wanted him to get the scroll! It was to help him! Though the trap in the doorway made his eyes really hurt…

Mizuki looked around in frustration. Here he was, at the big oak tree… where the hell was the fox brat? If he chickened out, or died… Mizuki would rip his intestines out and force feed him with it. Mizuki needed those Jutsus.

The silver-haired man grunted with annoyance and nimbly leapt, branch by branch, to the top of the tree. From that lofty point of view, he peered around, trying to find any orange…

Unfortunately, the whole area was black and green and brown. The boy couldn't be here… that orange jumpsuit that he always insisted on wearing would jump out at any observers' eyes anywhere. Gritting his teeth, the Chuunin sped away.

Absentmindedly, Naruto swatted a bug on his arm and wiped it on his black pants.

At about 3.00 A.M, the Hokage finally used his Crystal Ball. What he saw baffled him – it was just a random scene in the forest, black and green and brown. The old man was gradually getting pissed off and worried in turns. He knew that Naruto would never do anything on purpose, but… it would be hard to explain this to the other villagers and ninjas.

Growling angrily, the old man stomped outside. He needed to find the Aburame Clan. Luckily, he didn't have to go too far before bumping into just who he needed.

"Sukare, I need a favour," the old man stated to the stoic-looking Chuunin that saluted him smartly on the stairs.

"Yes, sir?" the bug-user said respectfully. The whole village had immense regard for the old man, both as a nice person and as a formidable ninja. He was not known as "The Professor" for nothing.

The Sandaime inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the greeting. "Could you organize a team of some sort, to search for… someone?"

"May I enquire who that someone is, sir?" the bug-user questioned, a barely-perceptible frown on his face.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"Ah, I see." He nodded, barely hesitating when he heard the name. "Then, can I suggest that you call upon the younger members? The older ones… might get a little angry."

During the terrible time that the Kyuubi had invaded Konoha, the bugs had gone crazy. The overwhelming demon Chakra had made the insects that normally lived harmoniously with their 'homes' berserk, tearing at flesh and swarming out, attacking friend and foe and fellow insect without purpose and utterly disobeying the commands of their masters.

The Aburame clan had lost sixteen of its Chuunin and seven Jounin in that battle, and they did not even get the chance to fight. The bugs had simply surged out and tore them to bits the moment they got within forty meters of the Fox Demon.

"That would be ideal, yes. Maybe some of the Genin, and any academy students in his year?"

"Ah… there are no Genin, sir. There is only one Aburame Shino. How about the Inuzuka child in the Academy? And the two Hyuuga children, the Main and Branch house members?"

The Hokage hesitated a moment, his brows furrowed in thought. "Perhaps not the Hyuugas – it would take too long to get through the tedious administrative procedures that they insist on-" being the anal-retentive stiffs that they are, Sarutobi's mind added with a bitter chuckle. Sarutobi was not prone to swearing, but the Hyuuga clan had been one of his sorest spots – specifically, the Branch and Main house issues. "Send the Inuzuka and Aburame, though. Make sure they're backed up by other Chuunin."

"Immediately, sir."

Aburame Shino glanced around him. His normally stoic heart was now speeding up slightly from its usual sluggish pace; it wasn't often that a mere Academy student got to participate in such important missions, especially not one that warranted Chuunin.

His bugs could sense the heat off his comrade-in-arms for this mission, a loud-mouthed, cocky boy that was in his year. Shino did not particularly like him, but he admitted that the boy's dog was quite useful, helping to locate the general direction of the trail, while Shino's insects roved ahead in droves.

"Hey, Shino… why'd you think the Uzumaki brat decided to disappear with the scroll?" Kiba piped up in a particularly long intermission of following the white dog – Akamaru, Shino thought he'd heard the name be called.

Shino frowned. He did not want to talk to the boy; personally, he found conversation awkward, preoccupied as he was with the verbal and nonverbal chatterings of the insects inside him.

"Hmm. Perhaps he wanted power?" Shino suggested mildly.

"Nah," Kiba shook his head, hopping deftly over a mass of branches on the forest ground. "I don't think so… he probably did it for a prank. I mean, breaking into the Hokage Tower and doodling over the seals? Guess he got pissed that he didn't become a Genin, eh?" he added cheerfully, puffing out his chest, eyes straining to see the fore-head protector on his head.

"We're not really Genin yet," Shino reminded, slightly impressed by Kiba's evaluation – if crude – of Naruto's motives. "Remember, we still have to go through the test from the Jounins before they put us down in the records as Genin."

"Ah, whatever… we passed the Academy test, didn't we?" Kiba waved it off. Then he frowned, his expression unconsciously mimicking Shino's earlier one. "Wait, Akamaru smells something… I think I've got him! This way!"

The two ninjas and the two Chuunin behind them – Mizuki and Akiba, a Chuunin that taught the younger levels – perked up, their footsteps becoming more silent and the atmosphere becoming tangibly tense.

Sure enough, they heard miniscule cursing noises not too far away, and a Chakra surge that made the four tense up. Something was going on near the clearing.

Meanwhile, Mizuki was cursing his lack of attention. "Don't tell me I missed him the first time?" he grimaced, muttering under his breath. Carefully, his hand inched around to his belt. 'Got to take care of these nosy boys, first.'

When they reached within 100 meters of the giant oak tree that Mizuki had so carelessly passed, they stopped. Akiba reared back, and grabbed a handful of shuriken, holding up his free hand. The two Genin immediately stopped, wide eyed. Akiba said quietly, looking around,"Listen up, guys… stay back, Mizuki and I will deal with- ARGH!" The Chuunin suddenly let out a shocked cry as a blade was plunged into his back with the sickening sound of tearing skin and blood spraying.

"You were saying, Akiba? 'Mizuki and I'?" the silver-haired traitor mocked, grinning. Ever so slowly, he twisted the blade, Akiba moaning in agony and poised on the ground as the kunai ground into his flesh.

"D-damn you, M-Mizuki, what are-" Akiba choked up, before giving an inarticulate yell as he was kicked harshly in the ribs.

"You moron, haven't you figured it by now? I'm… after… the scrolls. That too hard for your little brain to understand?" Mizuki bared his teeth. "This is getting boring. See you in your next life, Akiba."

The other Chuunin could only watch helplessly, in the throes of his pain, as Mizuki's booted foot slammed into his head, the distinct sound of bone being cracked snapping into the night like a whip. The two Genin watching were scared witless.

"Holy crap!" Kiba hissed, backing away. "We've got to-"

"Going somewhere, dog-breath?" a smooth voice purred. "I'm afraid not… Konohagakure Taijutsu: Mohizashi!" With that, Mizuki snapped a foot into Kiba's stomach, hitting his solar plexus. Kiba's eyes bulged, then slid shut as he slumped to the ground.

When the Chuunin looked up at the other Genin, a swarm of bugs had already buzzed its way towards him. Shino stood behind the defensive, live shield, a calm look on his face.

Mizuki snorted. "You think you'll stop me with just that? Unfortunately for you, I am a Konoha Leaf-nin, and I know how to deal with our own – Katon: Hashire no Hi!"

A short burst of fire gusted out from his outstretched hands, and was sent crackling into the midst of the bug swarm where it set the tiny insects ablaze and made the cloud of organisms something like a light show, the miniscule animals flying madly in circles while they burnt away. Shino looked on with a slight expression of dismay, but looked resigned – he had already sent for help, to his parents with his bugs - he just hoped they came in time.

Looking up, he braced himself as a fist launched itself into his face – then all he saw was darkness.

A/N: That's it. God, I'm sorry, but I will try to update more. Be happy with this, I beg you.

Furthermore, I realize that NaruTemari might take forever to come – so, I will instead call it "mild NaruTemari".