A/N: First of all, giving credit where credit is due, my thanks to my fave workshop for their help, especially Klaske who gave some of the best ideas for royalty scandals, gossip, and the "Phantom Wink Line":-) Secondly, as always, my thanks to reviewers - TrudiRose, FairlyOddNewYorker, Anon, ShortStef, xxooEriklovesChristinexxoo, C.J., Lyndsi05, Knux girl, BookRose, and bellamegs. Personal notes: Anon and BookRose - there's still another chapter left to go (yep the last one!); if I can get any last minutes appearances in there, I will. I can't promise anything though.
Enjoy the new chapter!
Chapter Four
"And that should be all," Lumière concluded, exasperated, which assisted him in trying to sound as pompous as Cogsworth constantly did.
Reviewing the menu after that royal's doormat had taken the liberty of altering it, Lumière had to hastily revise all of the changes in time to show them to Mrs. Potts and the kitchen staff. Thankfully, he finished just in time!
Mrs. Potts, however, only looked at him strangely, though Lumière did not expect any different expression from her.
"If you don't mind my asking, Cogsworth, why so many corrections on Lumière's work?" she asked. "I mean, if there is anything that you wholly trust him with, it is this. You never questioned his plans before."
"I know, but he is not himself today," Lumière answered automatically. Dieu, how many times could he and Cogsworth have said those words today? Calling upon his best impersonation of his comrade, he added, "Besides, look at all the mistakes he has made! For someone of his intelligence, competence, and skill, it is unacceptable. For example, I ask you, who in their right mind serves red wine with le saumon en croûte? Has he gone mad?" Turning the menu over to her, he said calmly, "Do not worry, I have already spoken to him, and he has agreed to the changes."
Mrs. Potts nodded slowly, still utterly confused; Cogsworth had never shown the slightest interest in Lumière's expertise of the dining room. But, she complied nonetheless. "If you really think that's best, and Lumière has agreed, then so be it."
Just then, the door flew open and Babette ran to Mrs. Potts. The older woman offered her a motherly embrace at the sight of the maid's red eyes, obviously a result of the tears that were still flowing.
"Goodness, child, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked, worriedly.
Lumière held his tongue, deciding it was best to listen at present. He felt the instinctive emotions take hold of him: the need to comfort her and strangle the unfortunate soul who had dared to upset her. But in Cogsworth's body, he could do nothing that would not arouse too much suspicion and bewilderment, except help Mrs. Potts lead Babette to a chair.
When she was seated, Babette took a deep breath, but her voice was still choked with sobs.
"I-I am not speaking to him…ever again!" she cried.
"I'm guessing you mean Lumière?" Mrs. Potts asked knowingly. It was obvious that she must have heard this declaration a number of times before, Lumière mused despite the situation. Babette only nodded in reply.
"Why? What happened?" Mrs. Potts persisted.
"This mood swing craziness has gone to his head, simple as that!" Babette continued. "First of all, he wanted nothing to do with me; whatever I did, he tried to get away from me! Then when I tried to talk to him about it, all he could talk about was getting back to his work! I told him, he might as well be Cogsworth since he was acting so much like him, and he then had the nerve to tell me that perhaps I should also follow such an example! He did not want to be with me!"
Although he was relieved to hear that her advances had been refused, Lumière clenched his jaw angrily. Cogsworth had still broken his word that he would not make Babette despise him.
Lumière stepped forward cautiously. Babette's mood was an unpredictable thing; it could change from thoroughly upset or saddened to completely furious in a matter of seconds.
"Would you like me to speak with him, Babette?" he asked, keeping emotion from his tone with difficulty. "Such an influence is my fault after all, being the most paranoid, stubborn, uptight…!" He trailed off as he realized the unusual looks he was getting from the ladies. "…and apparently ill man that I am, not thinking before I speak."
Babette and Mrs. Potts glanced at one another before they shook their heads in defeat. There would be no explanation for the madness right now.
"Maybe that would be best," Mrs. Potts said cheerfully. "Let Cogsworth talk to him; surely this was all a misunderstanding after all."
Babette looked at Lumière uneasily, as if debating his intentions.
"Do what you will," she said quietly after consideration. "But whatever you say, do not make it sound like I miss him!"
How Lumière managed to remain serious, barely suppressing a grin, he would never understand. Babette could be so adorable sometimes, without even knowing it, never one to admit how fragile she could be underneath her brave, jaded attitude. If it were possible, he would have whisked her away then, drying her eyes with kisses and showering her with romantic apologies.
But all he could do then was nod, responding, "I will not, I promise."
Leaving them alone, Lumière went about his search, looking in every room he found like a hunter on the prowl. To deny Babette's advances was one thing; making her cry, however, was an entirely different manner. When he got his hands on that arrogant fool, he would wring his round little neck…no. No, first Lumière had to get his body back. They would break the enchantment, and then he would wring Cogsworth's neck!
"Monsieur Cogsworth! Monsieur Cogsworth!"
No matter how long it took them to break the curse, Lumière knew he would never grow accustomed to being called by Cogsworth's name. Turning to find a breathless Pierre running towards him, he said, "Slow down, Pierre, before you faint from fatigue; what is it?"
The young houseboy paused before he answered, looking at him shock. Lumière guessed this was the first time the boy had ever heard a calm or kind word from Cogsworth before.
"The master, he wants to speak with you," Pierre replied, his breaths coming out normal again after a moment of rest. "He says it is urgent, about the party later this afternoon."
Lumière inwardly panicked; whatever the master had to say, no doubt he would know nothing about the problem. Cogsworth handled all the important affairs for every occasion at the castle, not him! But right now, Cogsworth is you, you fool, he reminded himself solemnly, feeling his stomach turn nervously.
"Are you all right, monsieur?"
Lumière glanced at Pierre again, realizing that his expression must have revealed his thoughts. Grinning slightly, he nodded. "Of course, I am! Go on with your work, Pierre, but be certain you take a rest before the gala."
That being said, Lumière slowly made his way to the West Wing, leaving a stunned Pierre to do as he was told.
ooo
"You sent for me, master?" Lumière said softly after receiving the call to enter. Not since the first spell on the castle had he been so utterly timid to be in this room.
Across the room, Vincent raised his eyes from a few papers scattered on a small desk.
"Cogsworth, just in time as usual," he said, rising from his seat and carrying a few papers as he walked to Lumière. "We need to make the seating arrangements for the gala today; it is a very delicate political situation. Only someone with your knowledge, expertise, and discretion can handle it."
Lumière gave a shaky laugh; he was doomed. "Indeed, I am sure I can."
Vincent grinned. "Of course you can; I would not entrust it to anyone but yourself." He handed him the guest list. "Everyone attending is listed here; from this, I need the seating arrangements finished as soon as possible within the next few hours."
As he looked at the dreaded piece of paper, Lumière swallowed nervously; he might as well have been reading an entirely different language. This was far from his area of expertise, and he only had a small amount of time to complete the task!
"Master, this looks perfectly, uh…suitable," he said, nodding quickly as if the action would be the true reassurance that Vincent would need. "We could not simply seat the guests as they are listed here? Everything seems perfectly in order as it is."
"'Seems?'" Vincent asked, raising an eyebrow. "Cogsworth, 'seems' does not work when it comes to royals, we both know that. If you put one person out of place, chaos will break loose."
"Chaos?" Lumière asked. "Over a place to sit?"
"Such is the overblown pride of royalty, my friend," Vincent replied, shaking his head. "The tiniest detail is out of place, and they declare war immediately, just cause or not."
Lumière glanced at the evil paper once again. "Dieu, no wonder Cogsworth is so paranoid," he muttered.
"What was that?" Vincent asked.
"Oh nothing, master, just going over the list," Lumière replied, attempting to sound confident. "I will have everything ready for you right away, I guarantee it! Will there be anything else?"
Vincent shook his head with a smile. "Just that for now; I expect it ready as soon as possible."
"Of course, right away, as promised!" Lumière said, bowing respectfully before he made his way downstairs to a study room that he knew Cogsworth used often for his work.
For a long while, all he could was anything from pacing to sitting with his head in his hands, staring at that list. By the time Lumière had to deal with royals and nobles at the parties, they were all situated; he never knew there was a method to the madness! A method that he knew absolutely nothing about, one that Vincent was now relying on! Desperately, he tried to think of earlier celebrations, using his memory to figure out the best arrangement. Who sat next to whom and in what order? But all he could draw were blank ideas; curse his nerves! This was hopeless!
"How is the planning going?"
Lumière did not even turn around, hearing his voice signal Cogsworth's arrival.
"What are you doing here?"
"Pierre told me that the master had sent for you, and this is always what he asks me to do before a celebration. How is it coming along?"
"Fine, perfectly fine," he lied sharply. "Could not be better…no, actually it can, if only you were not in here."
Cogsworth frowned. "Curb your anger for just a little while longer; you and I both know that without me, you will not be able to complete what the master has asked of you."
Lumière said nothing to him; the lout did not deserve any of his words. But, while he would never admit it, Cogsworth was right. Curtly, Lumière handed him the guest list.
Cogsworth hardly took notice, sitting down as he read over the list. As he spoke, he quickly began drawing up a plan. "Hmm, thankfully this is not one of our grander galas, thus there isn't a large number of guests attending. However, you must still be careful. The Duc de Leon and Marquis de Morte do not have…shall we say, an agreeable acquaintanceship; seat their families far apart from each other to prevent any trouble. The Marquis de Mieux is attending, so you must keep him away from any liquor settings on the table if possible; learned that the hard way. Oh, and the Vicomte de Chagny is coming? Be sure to inform the master and mistress of his recent engagement to Mademoiselle Christine Daaé so they may congratulate the couple…"
Cogsworth trailed off as he found Lumière glancing out the window. "Lumière, are you paying attention to a word I am saying?"
"I am listening; I just do not have anything to say to you," Lumière snarled angrily.
Cogsworth clenched his jaw, but continued to work on the seating plans. A while later as he finished it, he returned it to Lumière.
"There," he said. "I have made amends."
Lumière glared at him, threateningly. "I could have done this myself if you had just given me time to do it. I would not call that 'making amends.'"
"You would have turned the entire celebration into a disaster is more like it," Cogsworth retaliated. "Then I could just kiss my respected reputation good-bye."
"When you keep your promises, I will keep mine."
"I did not mean to upset her!" Cogsworth shouted. "I did not want to upset her!"
"But you did, and now she hates me!" Lumière countered. "The one thing I was relying on to get me through this ordeal was knowing that Babette will be there with open arms when we return to normal, and I do not even have that!"
"You told me that if I did go along with any of her advances, you would have my head! She is relentless; what other option was there? It was a completely hopeless situation; I was wrong no matter what I chose to do!"
"You could have let her down easily, but you did not! Just you wait until this curse ends; you will regret it!"
Cogsworth stepped forward, for once towering over Lumière in a confrontation. "What exactly did you have in mind, and why are you too much of a coward to go through with it now?"
"While I may not think sometimes, I am not a fool," Lumière growled. "Your body is such a pathetic weakling; I do not have the usual vigor to do what I must in order to defend my lady's honor."
"Precisely, you are a coward."
"The body fits, and I am being forced to wear it."
"Then do what you must and prove me wrong," Cogsworth replied, letting the insult fly by. "The pain when we switch back will be worth it."
Just as Lumière was about to follow through with the request, a knock on the door interrupted them.
"What is it?" they angrily shouted in unison.
A servant peeked into the room, timidly. "The master wishes to know how the seating plan is coming along; he is growing impatient."
"Tell him I am bringing it now," Lumière answered, irritated. When the servant left, he turned to Cogsworth. "This is not over."
"You better believe it isn't."
On that note, the two men left the room, even farther from mutual understanding than they had been when they had been switched.