A/N: Sorry that it took a little longer than usual to get this one out, but went through a big writers block with this chapter, then bam it hit all at once, even got some ideas for the next chapter so you guys may not have to wait as long, also when the latin speaking, green and blue spotted plot bunnies spoke into my ear they gave me some ideas for a couple more stories completely different. So who knows where it will take me.

The poem was actually given to me by Nicole101, not sure who wrote it but who ever did rocks.

Enjoy!

The door opened to reveal a very stunned Greg with his jaw dropping.

"Hey Greg" his sister called, he looked from Jenny to Sara and reached in to close the door in Jenny's face.

"Who was that?" Cathy Sanders came into the room, her eyes puffy and red.

"Greg with some woman but he just shut the door in my face"

"What!" he exclaimed in a hushed tone

"I'm pregnant"

"But I thought…."

"Well I guess they were wrong"

"When'd you find out?"

"Yesterday right after we were given the case"

"So you're really one hundred percent sure?" Greg asked disbelievingly

"A hundred and twenty percent sure" Sara assured him

"Juma Greggers Sanders" the door flew open

"Get in here and apologize to your sister!"

"Sorry Jens" he told her as he hugged here

"It takes a death to bring you home?" Jenny whispered into his ear

"It's not like that" he whispered back and let her go

"Where are my manners, I'm Cathy Sanders and my daughter Jennifer my husband and his father are out in the garage"

"Sara Sidle" she shook the woman's hand but the woman pulled her into a hug.

"Jennifer would you be so kind to go tell-" she was cut off by Jenny

"The same Sara Sidle that Greg talks non stop about?"

"Well I didn't know you talked about me to your family but yes I am" the girl pulled her into a hug. Sara looked at Greg, his whole family so far was being like him.

The minister was droning on saying things Greg couldn't understand in a church filled with people he should know but at the moment couldn't remember and he didn't want to. If he had to hear one more person tell him how sorry they were for his loss, he would freak.

"Don't think of her as gone away" the minister's words drifting inside Greg's brain for once through the whole ceremony. It was funny really how you joked about death and who would wear what, but when you came down to it what was the point? Why have a funeral to reminisce what you've lost?

Why not bury the person and be done with it? Why spend a day, listening to some minister who didn't know the real person laying at the front talk about how good of a person they were even if half of it was bull shit?

her journey's just begun

What journey? She was being buried six feet under the ground where in a months she would decompose and a hundred years later, their would be nothing but bones left if that, depending on the conditions of the soil.

Life holds so many faces

Well that was the truth if he ever heard it, he still couldn't understand he could have everything he ever wanted and be here burying his sister who had nothing. No hopes, no dreams, nothing to look forward to because she was dead.

This earth is only one

When he was growing up, his mother insisted that there was life after death much more grand then this one. 'Everyone has their own time clock, when it runs out, you move on' did she still believe that with her youngest child laying not ten feet away from her?

Just think of her as resting

He hated to say it let alone think it but maybe she was better off dead, she would have to see how cruel this world really was, wouldn't have to live with a chip on her shoulder because of a deal gone bad. Really she had it the best.

From the sorrow and the tears

The sorrow of never getting to see something as simple as a sunset or sunrise, feel the wind blow across her face, hear loud music from a passing car and thinking to herself that she knew that song. The tears of rejection but he guessed she already felt that with the boyfriend, friends and the club thing. That rejection was nothing compared to what she would have felt in life.

In a place of warmth and comfort

Warmth and comfort? How was a box that you barely fit in, supposed to bring you warmth and comfort? Warmth he could see being in the small space but comfort not a chance.

Where there are no days or years

A place where time stood still, where the young stayed young and the old stayed old. Wouldn't that place be fine and dandy?

Think how she must be wishing
that we can know today

Was it really possible there was a life after death? Once he had just to shut his mother up but now he wasn't so sure, science had always won out over the unexplainable of heaven and religion.

how nothing but our sorrow
can really pass away.

In a few years, months even people would forget her and move on with their lives, this day a soon long forgotten memory as people move on with their lives.

And think of her as living
in the hearts of thoses she touched...

Some would benefit from this he was sure of it, they would realize that as bad as it seems, it could always be worst. It's always worse before it gets better, like the calm before the storm, you get so psyched up for it, your stomach in knots anticipating its every move. And when it finally it's you think, why did I worry over such a small thing and you move on.

for nothing loved is ever lost
and she was loved so much

Damn right she was loved very much. They had bonded when mom, dad and Jenny had gotten into that car accident, well they really had no choice they were stuck with each other. It was hard at first having only Papa Olaf close enough to help out, and he wasn't much of a help these days. As much as he hated to admit it, Papa Olaf was old and growing more fragile by the day.

Sara squeezed his hand bringing him out of his daze; it was time to go. He stood with the rest of his family. Wondering how each of them dealt with their grief. His mother had never been the one to hold anything back, and this was true even in grief, she wept freely now, holding onto her husband's arm as they walked together, his father crying also except more controllably. He'd never seen his father cry before. His sister was behind his mother and father, she was crying but kept dabbing at her eyes to keep the mascara from running. Then their was him, who was over analyzing everything and not even paying attention to where he was walking or to the faces he passed as he went.

Sara turned left when she should have turned right, he was aware of that but not much else.

"You should have turned right" he told her

"I'm not going to the house" she stated matter factly, her too trying to keep a lid on her emotions, as she blinked quickly.

"Then where?" he watched as the houses molded into one big blur as the speed went up.

"Here" she pulled into a gravel drive and shut the engine off.

"What are we doing here?" he took in his surroundings it was deserted no one around for miles

"Don't you ever feel like yelling in frustration?" more than she knew

"What's this got to do with anything?" he watched as she got out of the car and leaned against the hood, he followed. Feeling the warmth of the car through his clothes.

They stood there for a few minutes before she spoke up

"I feel as if I should be doing something to get you to talk to me" she said softly as he looked to the gravel in front of them.

"What makes you say that?" he had no idea she had felt like she was useless, it was a feeling he didn't like.

"You're so quiet and you have this glazed over look in your eyes and people have to ask you three times before you finally realize 'hey someone's talking to me'" he wasn't aware of anyone else picking up on that. She cleared her throat before she continued.

"Why are you shutting me out?"

"I'm not"

"Yes you are" the only contact we've had the last few days was please pass the milk, I know this sounds selfish but I miss the touch, the feel, the taste of you" she focused on a rock once again as he left their spot and paced to the back of the his hand on the back of his neck, thinking.

"I honestly don't know, I want to I really do but then I think that I have to be tough for every one, my parents, sister even you and the baby"

"You're not superman and I don't expect you to be perfect and it's okay not to be"