CHAPTER 12

OVER A MONTH LATER: COTTAGE

Sark looks at Lauren who is curled up on the couch, "How are you feeling?" He asks concerned as he sits on the edge of the couch.

Lauren shrugs "Still don't feel good."

"Bath's ready."

Lauren nods sitting up "Thanks."

"Do you want some tea?"

"Sure."

Sark heads into the kitchen filling the kettle with water he sets it on the stove. "Lauren what kind of tea do you want?" He calls frowning when he doesn't get a reply. "You couldn't have fallen asleep already" he calls heading back to the bathroom entering to find Lauren on the floor in obvious pain. "Lauren what's wrong?" He asks concerned as he goes to her side "Lauren" he frowns when he notices her expression... an expression of pain, surprise and fear. "Lauren?"

"Not again" Lauren whispers tears falling.

"Lauren what is it?" Sark demands worried by her tone and expression.

"The last time I felt this" Lauren bites her lip blinking back tears "I think I'm losing our baby." She says pained tears falling, "I didn't know Julian." She leans into him tears falling. "I didn't know"

Sark strokes Lauren's hair as he gently rocks her talking to her softly. "It'll be OK sweetheart." He murmurs noticing the blood he feels, for one of the few times in his life, sick.

WHILE LATER

Sark enters the bedroom where he finds Lauren curled up in bed staring at the wall. He sits on the edge of the bed, "I should take you to the hospital." He strokes her hair.

Lauren looks at him, "No."

Sark nods leaning down he kisses her temple, "Its going to be OK."

Lauren grabs his hand tugging him down to lie beside her facing her. "I didn't know Julian."

"I know." Sark strokes her cheek with the back of his fingers then kisses her forehead. "You really should go to the hospital."

"I'll go to the doctor's tomorrow."

"Promise?"

Lauren nods burrowing into his chest, "Why does this keep happening?" She murmurs her voice thick with pain.

"I don't know sweetheart."

LATE THAT NIGHT

Lauren curls up in Sark's arms staring into the fireplace, "Before Sophia I never thought of having kids." She sighs. "Now I just wonder if she's going to be an only child."

"I'm sure she won't be."

Lauren closes her eyes taking a deep breath trying to control her tears.

Sark presses his lips to Lauren's hair, "I promise everything will be OK."

"I'm sorry."

Sark winces at her tone, "Its not your fault." He whispers, "Its just something that happened. I don't want you to blame yourself."

"Just hold me." Lauren whimpers

LATE NEXT MORNING: REED HOUSE

Lauren stands in the entryway of the living room of her parents house as she watches Sophia sit on the floor. 'My Sophia. I'm glad I didn't lose you.' She blinks back tears then takes a deep breath, "Sophia" she smiles walking over to where Sophia is.

"Mama" Sophia grins

Lauren hugs her girl 'My little girl.' She takes a deep breath, "How was your night?"

"OK. Grandpa read to me."

"Good." Lauren smiles "Sophia I have an appointment so Grandma is going to watch you for a while longer OK?"

Sophia nods "Mama what's wrong?" The little girl asks concerned.

'Just like her Daddy.' "Nothing you have to worry about." Lauren assures kissing Sophia's forehead. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"OK." Sophia smiles

"I love you Soph."

"Love you Mama."

COUPLE HOURS LATER: CAR

Lauren dials Sark's number as she sits in her car in the parking lot.

"Well?"

"Nothing caused it. Just happened."

"And?"

"Later?"

"Sure."

"I better go pick Sophia up."

"All right." Sark hangs up

Lauren closes her phone and sighs starting the car.

LATE AFTERNOON: REED HOUSE

Lauren sits on the couch watching as Sophia plays nearby. 'She should have her siblings here.' Lauren blinks back tears, 'Is she ever going to have a sibling?'

Sophia looks up and frowns, "Mama why are you sad?" She abandons her toys joining her Mama on the couch.

"No reason sweetie." Lauren pulls Sophia onto her lap hugging the girl. "I love you lots you know that right?"

Sophia nods "Love you lots too Mama." She says solemnly.

8PM

"I forgot to say goodnight to Julian." Sophia scrambles out of her bed.

"Sophia" Lauren sighs watching as the girl runs out of the room. She follows the girl downstairs stopping in her tracks when she sees Sophia in Sark's arms.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Sark asks with a smile.

Sophia shrugs "I forgot to say goodnight."

"Well then you better say goodnight because Mama is giving me that look."

Sophia looks at her Mama and grins, "I always get that look."

"Same." Sark says dryly.

"Say goodnight to Julian then lets get you tucked in."

"Night Julian." Sophia hugs him.

Sark returns the hug, "Goodnight Sophia." 'My little girl.' "Sleep well."

Lauren takes Sophia from Sark, "Come on you. Its time for bed."

Sark watches as Lauren walks out of the kitchen with Sophia in her arms. He turns back to cleaning up the kitchen.

A few minutes later Lauren returns to the kitchen, "You don't have to clean up the kitchen."

"I want too." Sark shrugs wiping his hands dry he looks at Lauren. "What happened at the doctor's?"

"Said I'm fine. Same thing the doctor in LA said." Lauren shrugs hugging herself. "She said it just happens."

Sark steps up to her cupping her cheek, "Its going to be OK."

Lauren nods "I better go pick up some of her toys." She steps away from Sark heading into the living room.

Sark watches Lauren pick up the toys, 'I want to help her but there's nothing I can do other than be there when she needs me.'

COUPLE HOURS LATER

Lauren crawls into bed and looks at Sark as he sits on the edge of the bed. "You could sleep in here."

"Its better if I sleep on the couch. Get some sleep." He kisses Lauren lightly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Julian"

"Yes?"

"Stay until I fall asleep?"

"Sure."

"Tell me a story"

"About what?"

"Anything. About when you were a boy."

"When I was a boy... that's a long look into the past." Sark says dryly "All right then"

Lauren closes her eyes listening to Sark's voice.

WHILE LATER

Sark looks at Lauren and smiles faintly, "Sleep well." He leans down kissing her forehead then quietly walks out of the room.

NEXT MORNING

Lauren smiles seeing Sark asleep on the couch with Sophia curled up in the crook of his arm. 'My sweet Julian. He adores Sophia so much. He'd adore all our babies... I think he'd even have it in him to adore Michael's. I'll never know that.' She walks over to the couch and leans down kissing Sark's forehead. She smiles as Sark slowly opens his eyes, "Shh don't wake her." Lauren nods at Sophia.

Sark lifts his head looking at Sophia he smiles faintly.

"How long as she been down here?"

"Since five. She came down to get a drink but didn't want to go back up to bed. She fell asleep watching cartoons."

Lauren regards Sophia thoughtfully, "You know I think she looks like you when she's asleep."

"Oh really?"

"A little." Lauren smiles faintly "She bites her lower lip in her sleep like you do when your thinking. Sometimes I wonder" Lauren trails off her eyes on Sophia.

"Lauren stop hurting yourself like that." Sark says softly. "The past can't be changed."

"I wish I hadn't done it."

"I know you do but as much as it hurts, both of us, it was for the best." He looks at Sophia, "For all of us. I was barely able to stay away from her... how could I have stayed away from another."

"Julian"

"Hmm"

"What if I hadn't lost one of Michael's and this still happened... would you have cared about that child? As much or even similar to how much you care for Sophia?"

"If your asking me if I would feel exactly what I feel for Sophia for that child? Probably not. But yes I would care for that child because it was part of her... of you."

Lauren smiles faintly, "Thank you." She kisses him lightly.

"For what?"

Lauren shrugs "Everything."

"I'm around whenever you need me."

Lauren nods "I know."

"Its going to be fine Lauren. You'll see."

AN: I know a lot of you are probably going to point out issues with this chapter but I wrote it how I wanted. Sorry if you dislike.