Points of Authority

O.O Oh my God! Four reviews? On the first chapter! Wow! That's a record for me::feels über loved: Alright! And not one flame… X3

Wow, gosh, I wish I could respond to my reviews… Too bad I can't… If I could, however, I'd tell one of my reviewers that no, Envy is not a girl, though he does have the capability to be one, and yes, depending on the gender Envy chooses to be (though here, it shall remain male… usually), this could be considered yaoi or hetero.

I would also thank those that think so highly of my first chapter and would celebrate because they thought it was funny (I, personally, was afraid it was a bit dull… ''), and would beg them to continue reading and reviewing. But, since I'm not allowed to respond to the reviews, I'm afraid that those options are out of the question.

Disclaimer: Do I look Japanese to you? Do you really think I'm creative enough to create such a story as Fullmetal Alchemist? Do you see Ed and Envy hooking up in either the anime or the manga? No? Okay then. So, obviously, I do not own FMA.

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"Tch. Like hell. Who would be happy to see you?" Ed spat venomously, glaring at our favorite palm tree.

"Well, I don't know. Some people would, I'm sure of it…" Envy paused, thinking of all the people that would possibly be the least bit happy to see him. The list wasn't very long. Actually, it was basically non-existent. (A/N- Poor little palm tree… I'd be happy to see him, I dunno about you guys…) He shrugged it off, deciding he couldn't really care less. Besides, there were more important things happening now. Like the torment of Edward. "Okay, so maybe not. What makes me so bad?" He put on his best innocent look, quirking his head to the side in mock confusion and curiosity.

"Hm. Let's think about this. Oh! I've got it! The fact that you're a murderous, blood thirsty monster that's out for my head and I'm constantly having to go around and fix the messes you and your little posse make!" Ed said. Envy glared.

"You don't have to go 'fix' what we do. We'd rather you didn't. We do all those things for a reason, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Which is why I have to go fix them."

"Oh, so you want to get in our way."

"Sure, since you won't kill me anyway." Envy gave him a dubious stare. "….. Right?"

"Don't be too sure of yourself, Pipsqueak. You may be valuable, but you're not irreplaceable. We could always find another pawn in our plan if you get too… difficult, shall we say?" Ed's eyes narrowed.

"What plan?" Envy smacked his forehead.

"You mean this whole time we've been telling you and you haven't been listening! To make the Philosopher's Stone, you moron! Of course, then again… now that we have Wrath… I suppose you could be disposed of…" He grinned murderously. Edward gulped.

"I thought you didn't like fighting…" he said, hoping to remove the mischievous and deadly glint from the Sin's amethyst eyes.

"Tch. Like a fight against you could be considered any such thing. You think too highly of yourself, Hagane no." His lips curved into a smooth smile as he transformed his right arm into a large blade and lunged at Edward. (A/N- Let me take this moment to remind you that they are in a dark, abandoned room. Well, maybe not abandoned, but deserted for the moment. Now, Envy wears black and has very dark hair. Would you be able to dodge him? I wouldn't. Good thing Ed's not us, huh? . Just had to say it, sorry… n.n''')

Edward yelped and jumped aside just as the ground where he had been standing exploded into minute fragments upon the impact of Envy's blade. Envy smirked and kicked out at Ed, landing a kick square in the gut. He rolled, stunned by the impact, trying desperately to regain his breath, keep running, and transmute his arm all at the same time. He made it to the door of the room, which Alphonse was holding open, preparing to slam it shut, just as Envy reached him. Al slammed the door in Envy's face, and the brothers heard a distinct 'thud' followed by "OW! Bloody fucking hell ow!" On the other side of the door, Envy held his forehead, which now dripped a line of blood from a gash where the door had rent his flesh. He transformed, growling under his breath, into an uninjured body, then tried to yank open the door. Note the word 'tried'. Ed, in a stroke of momentary brilliance, had transmuted the door to the walls, creating a solid stretch of stone. Envy swore loudly several times before just kicking the damn thing down. He then stalked down the hallway after Ed and Al.

The Elric brothers, meanwhile, had reached the street at breakneck speed and were charging towards Headquarters.

"At least we know who did it now, eh, brother?" Alphonse stated, always the optimist.

"I'd rather we hadn't. I swear that just took five years off my life," Ed replied, grimacing. "That wasn't fair, surprising us like that. I just hope he's not too pissed about us getting away…"

"Why would you care how angry you made him, Ed?" Al questioned, looking at his brother as the continued their flight.

"Well… you know how he is… He'll probably… I dunno, try to find me tonight when I'm sleeping or something…" He shuddered at the thought of waking up to the effeminate man, grinning down at him with transmuted arm from his window sill, certain death reflected in his feline eyes. "Aw, man, now I'm gonna have nightmares… Ugh. This is shaping up to be a great day, don't you think?"

"Heh. I guess it is…" The two stopped, one out of breath, at the front doors of HQ. Ed pushed open the door and made his way down the candle-lit hall to the Colonel's office. He didn't even knock before barging in. The sight he saw made him clap his hands to his face to hold back his laughter.

Colonel Mustang sat at his desk, furiously writing on and stamping papers, while a none-too-happy First Lieutenant Hawkeye held her loaded gun to his temple. It was unbelievably obvious that the Colonel had been using the current situation to try and slack off on his paperwork. It was also unbelievably obvious that Riza had seen straight through the act. Ed somewhat regretfully cleared his throat. The two looked at him, and Riza dropped her gun. Roy's face was the very picture of relief.

"Fullmetal. You here to report your findings?" the Colonel asked, his voice totally serious.

"Yeah. The whole generator's busted up. I was going to fi-"

"Didn't you try to fix it?"

Edward twitched. "If you'd shut up and listen you'd find out, wouldn't you?" Mustang gave him a look, but rested his head on his hand and waited for him to continue. And continue he did. "As I was saying, I was going to fix it, but then I was stopped by the homunculus Envy. It turns out that they're the ones behind the whole generator ordeal."

"Why? That's so… Trivial."

"Eh. I dunno. Maybe they got bored? Anyway, that's all. The whole generator's busted up, so it's going to need to be totally replaced."

"You mean you couldn't go back down there and-"

"No. Goodnight, Colonel." And with that, he saluted and left. He met up with Al in the hallway and they went off to the hotel where they were currently staying. (A/N- That is where they stay, right? When they're in East City? Or do they stay in the military barracks? You know what? They stay in the hotel. There. Problem solved.)

After the short walk to the hotel, the two arrived in their room. Ed immediately flopped onto his bed and sighed heavily.

"I dunno about you, Al, but all I want's some sleep. I'm turning in for the night."

"I'll do the same. Goodnight, brother."

"G'night, Al." And with that, the two got situated in their consecutive beds and went to sleep, totally unaware of the grinning figure on the balcony, waiting for Morpheus to lull them into serene slumber before he struck.

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Whew. Yeah, I know, kinda anti-climactic fight scene, but I've always wanted to see Envy slam into a closed door, and what better way to see it happen than to write it? XD You gotta admit, it was funny. Oh, and for all of you mythologically illiterate (not meaning to be insulting, please don't take it the wrong way!) people, Morpheus is commonly known as the Sandman. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Quick poll: Who thinks there should be a lemon later on? Not, like, immediately, but eventually? I'll keep the poll up for the next… Oh, three chapters or so, but if I don't get, let's say ten votes for it, I'll probably just drop the idea. Just figured I'd let you guys decide. Now… You know… It doesn't take that long to click that little review button down there… I'd love to hear your criticism, comments, or compliments! Don't forget, flames are openly welcomed!

Until later!

Envysloyalservant