Bo's Story
Luke wants to tell them, wants to tell Daisy and Uncle Jesse what happened in Atlanta. I can't I don't know how to tell them, what if they blame me, what if they think I deserved to be..., Lord I can't even think it, how can I tell them? I know he's right, I haven't had a nightmare since we came home, until last night, thank God I didn't wake anyone up except Luke, this time. They've both wondered since we came bace why we've been so protective of Daisy more so than we ever used to be. Hell it was bad enough to make Daisy move out, I know Luke was as worried as I was when she left. We both know Hazzard ain't Atlanta but that don't mean she can't be hurt. I know Luke feels like he failed me in Atlanta, that if we hadn't been fighting I never would have been in that bar. He's right, but that don't make it his fault, it ain't his fault anymore than it's mine. The only one to blame is that man in the bar,...I ain't never been so terrified in my life.
So Luke was determined Daisy would never go through anything like I
did, of course I was just as determined. I wouldn't wish that on my
worst enemy, and when the Beaudry's took Daisy all I could think of was
Milo, of what he might do to her. The guy who attacked me was big like
Milo and big as I am I couldn't stop him, I knew Daisy wouldn't have a
prayer. Guess that's what had mad me and Luke so protective, before
we left Hazzard for the Nascar circuit we both thought Daisy could take
care of herself. After what happened to me though we know better, I'll
never forget the terror I felt when he cuffed me to that bed and started
taking off my jeans and boxers, I don't want Daisy to ever feel like that.
It's what scared me the most, that we'd get there too late, that Daisy
would find out what it's like. She'd find out what if feels like to
stand under a hot shower 'til the water turns to ice, to scrub your
skin until it's raw and still feel dirty. That she would have to
experience horrible nightmares, to live in fear that someday he'll find
her again, that he'll finish what he started. Standing here watching
all of them as they go about their chores I know Luke is right, we have
to tell them before I wake up screaming and we both know I probably will
now that the memories have been revived. Maybe before all of this we
could've just said we'd seen things on the road and that's why we were
being overprotective, probably wouldn't work now. Especially with Daisy
I know she saw the fear on my face when Milo was towering over me, heard
the panic in my voice as I called for Luke. No after what she saw and heard
when we rescued her from the Beaudry's she'd never believe we were
protective just cause of seeing things while we was on the road.
I need to talk to Luke first,...oh who am I trying to fool I just need him, need to feel his arms around me, need to feel safe. I hate this, I thought I was finally past it, after all it's not like I'm ever gonna see him again. But I can't seem to help it, I can still feel his hands on my body, feel his breath as he whispers in my ear telling me what he's going to do to me. I shudder as I remember the smell of his sweat, the feel of his hands as he pulled off my clothes. And suddenly Luke is by my side just like always, he's always been my hero, always been there to protect me. I snuggle as close as I can but I can't seem to get close enough, God I'm so cold, thank you Lord for giving me Luke I'd never make it without him. I don't know how he knows when I need him most but I sure am grateful he does, he got there in time to save me from that man in the bar, and now here he is to help me through the memories. He holds me, running his hands up and down my back, soothing me with his simple presence until I finally stop shaking, stop feeling so terribly cold. He wants to know if I've thought anymore about telling Daisy and Jesse, all I can do is nod my head. Eventually when I'm able to talk again I agree to tell them, I want to do it now though before I lose my nerve.
I have to look away, it hurts to see the tears in Daisy's eyes, but
it nearly kills me to see Uncle Jesse's eyes fill with tears. The only
time I remember him crying is when Aunt Martha passed on, before I'm
even aware of moving I'm beside him putting my arms around him. Apologizing
for not being stronger, begging him not to cry, but this just seems to
make him cry harder, I'm such an idiot, I never should have told him,
after awhile he wipes his eyes and asks me if I'm okay. He wants to
know what he can do to help, thank God neither him or Daisy hates me or
blames me. Uh oh, I said that out loud, they both rush to reassure me
it's not my fault and that they could never hate me, especially for
something that's not my fault. As I'm surrounded by my family, sheltered
in their love I realize how truly blessed I am. I could have lost Luke
when he saw me in that room, he could have been so disgusted he would
never have been able to look at me again let alone touch me. Then there's
Uncle Jesse and Daisy either of them could have turned their back on me
and Luke when they found out about us, or they could now blame me for
what happened, for nearly being raped. I'm so glad Luke suggested telling
Jesse and Daisy, it's like a load has been lifted from me. I still have a
ways to go I know that now but with the love of my family and with Luke
to stand beside me I can get through anything.
The End