"It's about Nick."
Hodges' words echoed in his ears, as an only too familiar feeling of extreme worry entered his system and for a fraction of a second stopped his heart.
He slowly made his way to the table, where a plain, medium sized envelope looked no more sinister than a letter you'd receive every now and again. He picked up the package and weighed it in his hands.
His eyes met the rest of his team, and he gave them a look of painful recognition of what was happening. He took it upon himself to investigate what was in the parcel. It was his duty. He already felt responsible for whatever has happened to Nick and he wouldn't feel comfortable letting anyone else do it.
Carefully as only he could, he examined the package and its contents. He took out a tape and a wireless USB flash drive. The rest of the team joined Grissom, as he put the tape into the player and listened, as "Outside Chance" started to play.
"Son of a bitch!" Catherine exclaimed, angrily. "He's screwing with us."
Grissom didn't say a word, as he took the USB drive and put it into the computer. He read the message on the screen, now fully understanding the enormity of the situation.
His hand hovered over the mouse, and for a split second he hesitated whether to press the "WATCH" button. He did and the screen changed.
And Sara appeared in his view.
Her face was full of fear, as she tried to make sense of her surroundings. The light that came on, when Grissom pressed the button, blinded her and her initial shock turned to panic. The confusion over her precarious position and the realisation of what might happen, made her scream with terror and hysteria took over as she kicked and punched the walls of the small, glass coffin in vain effort to break herself free.
Grissom could only watch. The look on his face now mirrored Sara's, full of numb shock and devastation.
He stared at the monitor, where she fought for every breath, her face on the computer screen only inches from him, yet separated by miles, maybe even tens of miles, and God knows how many inches of thick ground.
Sara continued to scream, her petrified voice shattering his heart into million pieces. Until she stopped, the exhaustion and the ominous realisation of running out of air calming her.
She turned to lie on her back and opened her eyes, unwittingly meeting Grissom's. Hollow and full of tears, she stared into space, accepting her fate. She couldn't fight. She had no reason to.
Getting out the pistol she discovered earlier, she checked the bullets magazine again. Swallowing hard, she cocked the gun.
Grissom fixed his look on Sara. He saw what she was going to do, yet he knew he couldn't do anything. He could only watch with trepidation, sickening feeling in his stomach, as the only person he loved in his life, was slipping away from him and there was nothing he could do about it.
The deafening noise of the exploding gun shattered every bone in his body, every one of his muscle tensed and he collapsed to the floor.
He couldn't even scream. Sara was gone. And his life ended in a heartbeat.
---
Grissom woke up with a start. He could feel sweat trickling down his face, mixed with tears, which were flowing freely from his eyes.
He looked around, realising he's fallen asleep on his couch. He was home.
And he's been dreaming. No, wait, dreaming was not an appropriate word. He's just had his worst nightmare. Sara was dead and it was his fault.
Grissom disentangled himself from the tousled blanket he'd covered himself with and sitting down, he tried to take in the events of the afternoon.
He covered his face with his hands and exhaled deeply, wiping the sweat and tears from his face. It was only a nightmare. Sara was fine.
Yet, despite being aware of the reality, his heart constricted with unbelievable pain at the fresh memory of the dream. He admitted to Sara earlier on, that he couldn't stop thinking of her, when meeting up with Walter Gordon. He told her that she was the one on his mind.
He hadn't lost her then, but now it looked like he might be losing her anyway.
Grissom smiled at the memory of kissing Sara, the taste of her sweet lips on his. He remembered the emotions that were running through his head when he held her, if only for a moment. He had her, and the time when her mind, heart and body was his, had made him complete.
Yet he still let her go. The hurt he saw in her eyes, as she walked away, was ten times bigger than anything he's ever done to cause her pain. Grissom hated himself for letting Sara suffer this way, but he didn't know how to convince her that he needed her.
He took a look around his empty apartment and suddenly he caught the sight of the photo on his cabinet. It was the photo of his whole team, taken two years ago, during Christmas party.
Grissom didn't normally keep a lot of photos, but he did take this one and kept it at home, reminded of Catherine's words years ago, when she made him realise that people were making a family around him, whether he liked it or not.
He took the framed picture and wiped the invisible dust off the glass with his thumb. His eyes focused on Sara, who was smiling broadly, playfully punching Greg in the arm, who in turn tried to smear some whipped cream on her face. Catherine was laughing at Warrick, who was busy with attaching a piece of paper to Nick's back. Then he shifted his gaze to himself in the photo.
He was smiling too, remembering the moment as if it had happened yesterday. He was standing next to Catherine, but he was looking at Sara, admiring her beauty and innocence, and listening to her light-hearted laugh. The warmth in her eyes made his heart skip a beat.
Grissom had promised himself right then, that if he could ever make Sara happy again, he would do whatever it took to make it happen.
His eyes stayed on her smiling face for several minutes, until he made a decision.
He'd wasted enough time. He needed to act on his feelings. As he left his apartment, he could only hope that he wasn't too late.