~ 13 ~

I wake rather slowly, which is so not me. Usually I'm jerking upright, suffocating from nightmares, my heart drumming some insane beat through my body. Well, this time is different. I hear the subtle beep of a computer…or something and it drags me out of the darkness, like an alarm clock almost. And there're soft whispers, though I can't tell who's doing the talking or what they're saying.

I open my eyes and I don't know why or how, but I'm in the infirmary staring up at the white ceiling. Wow…that's a weird design…the ceiling looks like a cat's eye. Funky. I notice my hand isn't my own and I roll my head, seeing Ronon grinning at me. I smile back. "Hey," I say, my voice a bit muffled and my throat scratchy. "My usual haunt, I see."

Ronon leans over and kisses my cheek. "Feeling better?"

My stomach rumbles. "Kinda hungry actually."

"Good," Dr. Beckett says, pulling the curtain aside. "That's what I want to hear." He taps his headset and says something about a food order.

I sit up very slowly and Ronon pushes an extra pillow behind me. "What's going on? Last thing I remember…" I narrow my eyes on Ronon. "You didn't."

He shrugs. "I had to." He raises one hand. "I didn't see a thing, I swear." I don't believe him, but at the same time, I do. That's the thing with us. We may not be related, but if anything happened…the thought is just…yucky in big bold letters. I know it doesn't make sense, he's a hot, towering man of muscle. But he's so…Ronon.

I look to the nice doctor. "You gonna explain?" And so he does, telling me I'm the victim of the lovely lust-o-rama device yet again. That damn thing is gonna get me killed, I just know it. "So…am I okay?"

"Let's get some food in ya first. Then we'll see. You're going to have to make some changes, Jax. I'm creating an eating schedule for you to follow. You must keep it up. I don't want to see ya back in here…ever if you can help it."

I nod. "That's a good goal. I'll try to keep it." The doors part and my heart skips a beat until I see it's Dr. H. Who was I expecting? John, maybe? Not likely. I did tell him to get lost, in no uncertain terms.

"He was here all night. Same as me," Ronon says.

"What?"

"You were hoping to see Sheppard."

I shift uncomfortably in the bed. "No I wasn't." Ronon raises a single brow, narrowing his gaze on me at the same time. I roll my eyes. "Maybe a little."

"How are you feeling?" Dr. H. says. She looks all kinds of pretty today. Must have a date with Dr. Z later.

"Better, according to Dr. Beckett. Sorry if I put anyone out. Wasn't exactly a plan or anything."

Dr. Beckett pats my leg. "We know that, lass. Like I told ya. I should have seen this coming."

I wave him off and flash a smirk. "Not blaming you. So this…metabolic thing. It's gonna be on-going?"

"I'm afraid so." Dr. Beckett nods. "You've had a shift in your brain chemistry. I don't see it returning to…"

"Factory standards?"

He grins. "Exactly. It's nothing to worry about, as long as you eat in a timely manner. And I want you to gain some weight. Which means…some junk food might be necessary."

I grin at that. "Junk food…this coming from a doctor?"

"Well, there are many junk foods that have beneficial side-effects, in moderation."

"Chocolate."

He nods. "That is one."

"Pop tarts? No…marshmallows."

"Hmm. I'll give you a list. Try to steer clear of the bad cholesterol though. Don't need to work your heart too hard."

That reminds me of my dreams and the ice cubes. I look at Dr. H. "Something weird happened."

She sits on the edge of the bed next to mine. "What?"

"I had the strangest dream."

She settles in, crossing her ankles. "Why don't you tell me about it."

"Want me to go?" Ronon asks.

I grin at him, give his hand a squeeze. "You do look like animal dung." He wrinkles his nose at me which only makes me smile more. "You don't have to stay. I'm good. You should get some sleep." He squeezes my hand then gets up from his stool, leans over and kisses my forehead. Our hands don't part until he's too far away for me to keep touch. "Ronon." He's still watching me in that protective way that always makes me feel special. "I knew you were with me. Thank you."

His smile is huge and his chest pumps up. "That's what I'm here for, Cheetah."

Glowering, I reach behind my head, yank out the pillow and toss it at him. Unfortunately, he's already to the door…and my throw is exceptionally weak. The pillow lands on my feet. Dr. H. grabs it and stuffs it behind my head again. "Now. Tell me about the dream."

~ 13.5 ~

Ronon catches Sheppard in the corridor. He's carrying a tray towards the infirmary, obviously Angela's food. He raises a hand and Sheppard stops a couple feet from him. The Colonel is clearly wary. "Sheppard."

"Ronon."

"She's awake."

He motions with the tray. "So I figured." He licks his lips. "So…is this going to be a problem?"

Ronon shakes his head. "I don't have a problem…as long as you don't make one."

"I'm just bringing her food."

"She's falling for you, Colonel."

Sheppard's whole face scrunches up in disbelief. "Don't be ridiculous."

Ronon huffs. "I'm not as…uncivilized as you might like to believe. I've seen it before. I've seen what it can do to a woman if the feelings are not returned." He lifts his chin. "I made a promise to Jack."

"General O'Neill?"

Ronon nods. "If she gets hurt…by anyone…I take action."

Sheppard swallows hard, drops his gaze and nods. He bites his bottom lip. "I'd have made the same promise," he says firmly then latches his eyes onto Ronon's. "I'm not out to hurt her. That's a promise."

Ronon nods. "Fair enough." Then he starts down the hallway again. "But if you do," he tosses back without looking at the man. "I'll tear you're arms off and beat you with them." He grins when he hears Sheppard clear his throat.

John almost drops the tray. Ronon probably could tear his arms off and beat him with them. Damn, what a thought! Well it won't be necessary. While getting cleaned up, he came to a decision. No matter how hard it is, how many symptoms he might have, he's going to stay away as she requested. That's what he plans on telling her right now.

The fact that he really hasn't had any symptoms…not even a headache since he kissed her yesterday didn't really factor into his decision. Well, maybe it did a little. After all…if the headaches are gone, doesn't that mean his brain is back to normal? That the addiction is over? He should let Carson know.

The curtain is closed around her bed, but he can hear Dr. Heightmeyer's hushed voice. "How do you interpret what happened?"

There's a rustle of fabric, probably the bed sheets. "Well…I'm thinking it was pretty straight forward. Don't you?"

"I don't think Col. Sheppard wants to kill you."

John jerks at that. He sets the tray down quietly and is tempted to push open the curtain, but changes his mind and turns to the door instead. Still, he doesn't open it. He stands there…waiting. He knows he shouldn't be listening. It's so wrong, on so many different levels. But…she thinks he wants to kill her?

"Yes…well, no… I know it was just a dream image, but… You didn't see his face. Somewhere in my subconscious…yeah, I believe it. I think he really blames me for all this. I did cause everything."

"On purpose?" Jax doesn't respond. John wishes he could see through the curtain. See her face. "You care about him."

"Too much, I think."

Is Ronon right? Does she have…

"Is there such a thing?"

Jax laughs but there's little humor in it. "From me…yes."

That's it, either stomp in there and say something or leave. Stop spying. It's not right and it's not fair. John swipes his hand over the door crystal and steps into the hallway. He doesn't move far enough out for the door to close so it stays open. If I leave the tray, they'll know someone was here listening.

John picks the tray back up and clears his throat, announcing his presence.

"Who's that?" He hears Jax whisper. A moment later, Dr. Heightmeyer pulls aside the curtain. Jax stares at him with wide eyes. "Jo…Col. Sheppard." She glances at the doctor then back at him. "How long have you been here?"

He motions to the closing door. "Just now." He holds up the tray. "Someone ordered room service."

Jax's smile is full of relief. Dr. Heightmeyer nods, pushing the curtain around the bed. John moves in, setting the tray on Jax's lap. "We'll talk more later," Dr. Heightmeyer says. She nods to John, offering a professional smile then heads out the door.

Jax picks at the food on her tray. John quirks a brow. "They said Beckett was specific about what to send up."

Her upper lip curls. "Great."

John pulls the knife and fork apart and sets them on the sides of the plate. She's faking a smile. "Thanks."

He grins. "My pleasure." Now she pokes at the food with the fork. John bounces on his feet for a moment then claps his hands together lightly.

She takes a bite of the mashed potatoes, then nods side-to-side in acceptance. "If I'm keeping you from something…" She motions to the door with the fork.

"No, I'm good." He bounces some more. She looks so…adorable sitting there making faces at the food. John realizes he doesn't even know what she likes to eat. What's her favorite color? Where'd she go to college or did she?

And suddenly he really wants to know these things. He wants to see her making more of these silly faces at food as she pokes at it. He needs to know everything about her. It's like his whole body is on fire wanting these answers. Wanting to know her.

Maybe Elizabeth is right. Maybe he does need Jax. "Would you go out with me?"

Okay, where did that come from? That was no where in the decision. Not even a blip on the 'decision' screen.

Jax must be thinking the same thing because she's staring at him, mouth open, fork halfway inside, eyes wide. She blinks a couple of times then closes her mouth around the food and slowly swallows. Then she sips her drink. All the while, her eyes stay locked to his. "Excuse me?"

Exactly! I clearly remember making a plan to stay away…

…it's not a bad idea. John leans against the empty bed. "You know…dinner, a movie…a date."

She wipes her mouth with the small napkin. "Is this a joke?"

John shakes his head. He's beside her in an instant, leaning down and kissing her lightly. "I was really worried about you," he says, catching her gaze and the surprise in her eyes. He was really worried. He just hadn't wanted to admit it even to himself.

She smiles nervously. "That's me…big drama queen."

John brushes the back of his hand across her cheek. "I think we should consider our previous deal null and void."

"What do you mean?"

"The rules have changed," he says softly, searching her face, her eyes, seeing things he hadn't before. There's a softness to her eyes now, a warmth that wasn't there previously. "And it seems…so have the players."

Then he's kissing her again, gently catching her bottom lip with his teeth before gliding his tongue over it. He can feel her tremble slightly but she kisses him back. Before it gets too heated, John pulls away, but keeps his face close to hers so he can feel her breath on his lips. "I'm not going to hurt you. I promise."

"You should know by now-" Her brows crease ever so slightly with concern as her eyes stay on his and her hand comes up to his cheek. "I'm not worried about me."

John grins. "Then there's nothing to worry about."

She swallows hard, watching him. Her eyes full of emotions that he can't yet discern, but he doesn't see the familiar wall coming up to block them either. Something has happened since they last spoke, last kissed…for both of them.

Jax smiles lightly. "Okay."

He smiles again and kisses her, keeping it chaste. He catches her eyes with his. "How's your head?"

Her brows wrinkle in confusion at his topic change. "Fine."

John nods, raising his right brow. "So's mine."

After a moment, realization dons on her, glimmers in her eyes. "Oh…" She sounds slightly shocked by the revelation. Her wide eyes catch his again and another, softer "oh" escapes.