The first party (Teddy) has agreed to stop using any kinds of magic against the second party (Hermione Double and Ginny-Star) on the grounds that more reviews are given and that a Brilliant Elves Are Resourceful (B.E.A.R) group is started with the first party as the manager. Failure to comply with these conditions will result in a major disappearance of the second party. We have reason to believe that the first party is in the employment of a Mrs Hermione G Weasley.

Ginny-Star- *Gulp* Well… you can see for yourselves what Mr. Teddy wants.

Hermione Double- Yeah. Please! Save us from a lifetime of slavery and trimming bear-ear fur!

Both- *shudder*

Disclaimer- The day we own Harry Potter is the day we also turn into Veela and capture the attention of some certain lads… yum. (It means we don't own it)

Thick Vik

It's been two days, 6 hours and 46 minutes since Hermione kissed me. God, I am really pathetic. I'm sad, counting the bloody time since she kissed- she kissed me.

Oh, it's 47 minutes now.

Pig's just come in through my window! I think… yeah, he's got Harrys reply! Maybe Harry's got a plan to help me…

WHAT THE---?!?

Tuesday 21st July

Ron,

You can be really dense sometimes. Pretty much the whole school knows that you fancy Hermione! It's not exactly a closely guarded secret! I'll bet anything that Dumbledore fixed it up so that you'll go out with her… let's face it, you and 'Mione are pretty much the gossip of Hogwarts.

Don't worry, I'm sure Hermione will see past your annoyances and freckles (joke).

See you in three weeks,

Harry.

P.S. Tell George to change the date from 6th August to the 18th. Tell him I think it's gonna take longer.

What's he on about?!? That's it, he must have gone crazy watching to Dudley scoff cakes till he gets sick and bloated like he's gonna give birth to a nest of flobberworms!

And being the gossip of Hogwarts… HA! Funny, Harry, really funny. And I DO NOT fancy Hermione! I mean, she's fit and all… but I don't fancy her. Nope.

Anyway.

Feeling bloody miserable, I headed downstairs to the kitchen when I suddenly heard a potentially blackmail-worthy conversation taking place. I stood outside out of sight as the voices of Hermione and Ginny drifted by.

"Well, what about when you want to pretend that you don't like him? When you don't want him to know that you…?" Oh? So Hermione likes someone? For no apparent reason, I can feel a sudden rush of jealousy run through me.

"It's just a simple thing of being more chatty and seeming like you don't think of him anything other than a friend. Like, going out with another lad. Harry thinks that I've grown more confident, because I've stopped doing embarrassing things. Thing is, I read that boys like confident girls and I noticed that I hardly get any attention from him, unless I'm in some life threatening danger of sorts." What the hell? I know Ginny can talk alot, but this was first time I've heard something so… clever from her.

"Hmm… well I don't think subtle changes of personality will work on him. He's just so… erm…"

"Dense?" HA! She fancies someone dense! Wonder who it is? I'd probably wouldn't like him anyway.

"Yeah! It's like, he doesn't believe me when I say- and I say it a lot- that there's nothing going on between me and Viktor." Funny. There is everything going on between her and Viktor. Stupid bushy-eye-browed git. I can be good at playing Quidditch too, y'know.

Well, I've established that Ginny fancies Harry again, and Hermione has the hots for someone below her 'smart' standard. Enough to blackmail them? More then enough! I think I'll make my presence known.

"Ahem." Result! Hermione looks like she just failed all her NEWTS, and Ginny… uh-oh.

I've awoken the sleeping beast.

"RON!!!" Ow ow ow ow ow! I've never understood why females have such a high pitched voice!

"Ginny! You've just about deafened me!"

"Good!"

"Alright, alright, no need to wake the bloody sleeping dead just 'cause I know who you fancy!" Ginny fixed me with one of her famous 'One More Word And I'll Get Mum On Your Back' glare.

They're never good.

And with that, Ginny flounced out of the room, managing to look down at me even though I'm taller. Odd, but really really scary. I swear, it's like having a mini version of mum round.

And that just leaves me and 'Mione in the kitchen.

"So…" I said as I lowered myself into the now vacated (what the bloody hell is with these words?!?) chair. Hermione looks decidedly uncomfortable, which was what I was after.

"What do you want Ron?" she mumbled, with the slightest hint of irritation. Ah, was I getting on her nerves? I wonder… not. I always get on her nerves.

I decided to out and say it.

"So who's this fella you can't get your hands on then? The one you're trying to pretend you don't fancy?" Hermione looks at me with a mixture of horror and… I dunno, surprise at me.

"Erm, well, I don't know what you're talking about!" I smirk and lean closer.

"Who is it? Is it someone I know?"

If it is, I'll kill them.

Whoa, where did that come from? I'm not a particularly violent person (unless it's Malfoy of course. He's just a bloody pain.) I shake my head to clear it of weird thought and feelings and try to focus on the embarrassment of Hermione.

"Ron, don't be stupid! Now go away, I want to write some letters to some people."

For some reason when she said that, something in me just snapped.

"Writing to Lover-Boy then?"

"Lover-Boy?"

"Vicky."

"Well, yes I am. And don't call him Lover-Boy or Vicky- you know I hate it."

Well DUH! That's the point! Honestly- and she supposed to be clever. Oh what am I on about? Of course she's clever. And fit. Nope, I did not just say that. Hermione may be nice looking when she can be bothered, but it's not like that. I mean, I don't fancy her or anything. Honestly.

"Honestly 'Mione- I think he'd prefer that name. He obviously fancies the pants off you."

Hermione glares angrily at me.

"Ron, if you're going to be like this, I'm just going to leave," she said huffily.

"Go ahead- why not go to Bulgaria and bunk up with Thick Vik then?"

That did it.

"How dare you! I do not fancy him- how many times do I have to tell you?"

"You can tell me a million times- I still won't believe you."

"Fine!" she screamed, and ran out of the room, leaving me and the light scent of perfume (or something) hanging in the air.

And to think I have Vicky's stupid autograph hung up in my room!

There's a time for muggle scissors, and I think it's now.

***

Ginny-Star- Please forgive us for not updating for so long! We just could find our muses!

Hermione Double1- Yeah! It's been the summer holidays and we've been kind of busy.

Ginny-Star- *ducks all rotten food thrown* Hey! We said we were sorry! Anyway, if you must blame someone, blame Ted-- *Hermione Double1 covers Ginny-Stars mouth*

Hermione Double1- Shh! He finds out we've been badmouthing him, he'll feed us to the hammerhead sharks he has in his room.

Ginny-Star-… He has sharks?

Yours, Lataz!

Hermione Double1, Ginny-Star (^-^)/