~ 16 ~

I don't think I've ever been so miserable…and so ready to commit murder. Dr. Nileson meets me at the gate. He's one of the patsy young archeologists that usually hangs out in a lab on Atlantis and only gets to see sunlight on occasion. He's very excited and can't understand the scowl on my face.

Well, ya see here sparky…I was all kinds of excited myself for decidedly different reasons…

Stop dwelling.

It's no use. I'm irritated, tired from two days of intensive planning, and horny as hell! You stop dwelling!

John's probably back to his quarters by now. He escorted me to the gate, though we didn't hold hands once we left the corridor. That's my thing. No reason to fan the flames of the rumor mill. Not that I mind if everyone knows I'm with John or that he's with me. I'm just not so sure he likes everyone to know. Besides that, I don't like the idea of flaunting it in Dr. Weir's face. She's been so nice to me…she's so kind.

Gawd, don't start feeling guilty now!

Yeah, but here I am, without John and I left him for god-knows-how-long, terribly turned on and alone with Dr. Weir. Shouldn't I feel a little concerned about that?

Maybe.

I sigh inwardly. Then why don't I?

Because you trust John.

That elicits a huff. No I don't. But I realize that I do trust Dr. Weir implicitly. She'd never do anything to hurt me or anyone else. Except herself, maybe. I still can't believe she gave him over so easily. Encouraged me even. I just know I'm not that good of a person. I could never give up without a fight.

You almost did.

Yeah, well I was seriously delusional at the time. I'm much better now. Gawd…I was soooo close! I worked so hard. Dammit. I deserve a Sheppard induced orgasm!

Dr. Nileson offers to carry my bag, but he looks skinnier than me and it'll probably topple him. I only brought a few changes of clothes: jeans and T-shirts. I packed my Ipod just in case. But the real weight is because I had to pack all my snacks and some MRE's that Dr. Beckett handed to me before I entered the gate. Plus my laptop, no reason to be completely bored once I'm stuck doing absolutely friggin' nothing for the next few days. I'm really gonna give McKay the worst week of his life if I don't throttle him with my bare hands.

Or stab him?

Right…

Teyla gave me a present before I left. She felt bad for me, I could tell, but I never expected such a lovely parting gift. It's similar to hers, only it fits snuggly at my waist instead of the ankle. It clips to the two belt loops at my back. I never wear belts, but I will wear this. It's a leather sheath for a single dagger. Quite the sexy look if I do say so myself.

I usually don't carry my weapons around since they're only for practice and I'm completely safe on Atlantis. But when Teyla found out I'd be stuck off-world with Dr. McKay, she insisted I take a weapon I could conceal. "He tends to instigate…problems." I'm still not sure I understand her meaning, but it did make me laugh. Perhaps she has a list of her own. I wonder if anything's been crossed off yet.

It's not an unpleasant jaunt to the site. The gate is located at the edge of a golden meadow of ankle high soft grass. The sun is shining and encircling the area are thousands of leafy green trees that make up a seemingly dense forest. Quite picturesque, in fact, but that doesn't mean I'm in a good mood.

Hope the chocolate made it into the bag, 'cause I'm so gonna need a pound or two.

As my guide leads me through the forest, I get the familiar feeling that I'm being watched. But my 'whiskers' are not picking up human eyes so much as 'other' eyes keeping tabs on us. Plus, I don't hear any twitters of lower creatures or birds, which tells me a predator is quite possibly searching for food. Now I'm glad Teyla told me to bring the knife. Given my own predilection for trouble…

Let's not go there.

We break through the other side of the trees and my jaw hits the ground and gets dragged an inch or two. The temple is a wreck. A large, two-story castle-like wreck. Okay, maybe castle is pushing it, but the damn thing is huge and takes up the entire clearing. If it had a moat, then maybe castle would be a little more fitting. Instead, I guess, it's just a stone church, steeple and all, or what's left of the steeple.

As I step inside, I realize I'm back outside because—hello—there's no real roof in the place but there are three entrances or exits because of the number of large holes in the walls. What's holding this place up, force of will? By all rights there's no way this should still be standing. And given that…there's no reason anyone—namely me—should step inside it!

Dr. McKay's snarking at one of his minions so I find a corner empty of debris or too much airflow and set my bag down, churning up a plume of dust. Maybe I should reconsider and stay near one of the walls with a convenient escape route.

Coughing and waving my hand through the dust draws attention from the 'Almighty Annoying One' and he waves to me. "Ah, Jax, so nice of you to grace us with your presence." I sneer and wave back with a single stiffened finger that elicits chuckles from everyone except McKay. He glowers at his followers and they quiet. Then he struts over to me, all smiles. "It's a fascinating place, don't you think?"

"It's a hunk of junk, doctor. And don't forget, this, right now, is my bed time." And the plans I had didn't involve much, if any, sleeping! "Don't even think about being cheerful with me."

He tilts his head back and looks down his nose at me. "Fine. Follow me then."

With a huff, I trudge after him through the muckity-muck of crumbling stone and dirt and he stops in front of a large, angled table. It looks like one of the many Atlantis consoles, only not as bright. And for some unknown reason, it doesn't look the least bit damaged by whatever disaster struck this place. I cross my arms and stare at him. "What exactly does it do?"

McKay cocks his head. "It's the power station of the outpost. This panel turns everything else on. System readouts, heads up displays. Everything."

Not dropping my arms, I twist my torso, looking around the dilapidated temple. The others follow my gaze. "I don't see anything else worth turning on, doctor." Every time I use his title, I kind of spit it at him. It's my own way of being snarky. Hey, I'm entitled. I left a perfectly pliable, half-naked, very aroused John Sheppard for this.

So close!

Not that I'm going to share that tidbit of info with the ornery scientist. But I do level a searing glare in his direction and he does have the sense to look away. McKay motions to the console and I set my hand on it. Nothing happens. I let out a deep breath and turn to leave. "Well, I'm useless here. See ya—"

"Wait!" He calls. I stop and twist back to face him. He raises his brows. "Our power supply may not be connected correctly just yet. Come back." With another heavy exhale, I take two large steps back to the console. McKay motions to one of his posse. "Well?" The woman darts her head under the table-thing then pops back up with a thumbs up. McKay looks to me. "We didn't find a ZPM so we had to bring a naquedah generator."

I point to my unimpressed face. "Does this say 'I care'?"

McKay scratches his forehead. "Just try again."

I set my hand on the panel once more and once again, nothing happens. Instead of leaving this time, I cock my head at the mad scientists. "Am I done now?"

"You're not concentrating."

"I don't have to concentrate, doctor. It's a natural thing."

"Well, maybe your natural-thing needs some concentration. Just 'think' about turning it on."

I don't want to think about turning anything on right now…

That must be the problem.

I close my eyes for a few seconds and I'm able to push aside images of a shirtless John lying face up on my bed waiting for me to do all sorts of naughty things to him and…oh hey, the lights came on. There's a gentle hum in the air as well. And suddenly a violent shaking and everyone's running for cover as the minimal stones left in the pointed ceiling start to crumble and crash to the floor, seemingly aiming directly for those of us stupid enough to be out in the open!

McKay's holding his hands overhead, but frozen in place as a huge chunk of stone makes a target of his large cranium. Don't ask—maybe it's instinct, I don't know, but suddenly I'm tackling the guy out of the way of disastrous brain trauma and then I get pelted in the thigh with the falling rock.

Nice.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" I roll away from the quivering mass under me and try to inspect the damage. There's a patch of dust on the back of my jeans, but nothing torn. However, I do have a hell of an ache in my leg. "That's gonna leave a mark." I slap McKay hard on the chest because I feel like it.

One thing about me, I may have a high pain threshold, but my body does not take abuse lightly. I bruise so easily that as a kid my parents were terrified I'd turn purple. It's not a blood disorder or anything serious, just thin skin, I guess. Or maybe not enough vitamin K—or is it H? I can never remember. Anyway, that mark on my leg's gonna be all kinds of pretty colors in a few hours and for a long time after that.

I really despise this man.

The shaking subsides and everyone comes out from hiding.

"Who touched it!" McKay looks around at his team, but they all hold up their hands in defense.

"Thanks for the trip to hell, McKay."

He glances at me. "What? It wasn't my fault," he whines and I glower at him. But then he does something that irks me to the core. He gets nice on me. "Um…thank you?" He points to the no longer falling stones. "For…uh…saving me."

Getting to my feet, I offer him a hand and he takes it. As he gets up, I say: "If I had to do it over again? Might think twice."

He sneers. "Yes, yes…no need to get sentimental. Let's get back to work people." But I catch him grinning slightly before he returns to the panel, intent on learning all he can from the blinking lights.

My leg is aching pretty good, so I drag my bruised ass to my bag and drop, draping my arms over my bent knees. Just as John said earlier: this sucks!

I've never been a wilderness enthusiast. My idea of roughing it is staying in a Motel 6 for one night. I didn't sign up for this. I do think ahead, however. I brought my very own TP just in case. Dr. Lee showed me the outdoor 'girl's area' within the tree-line. Two fallen tree trunks and a couple of wood slats and we've got ourselves a makeshift potty. I swear if I get a splinter in my butt, that knife's gonna be poking someone with too much soft flesh around his middle.

Day two and three quarters. I've been up for about forty hours now—don't ask. I don't understand why, possibly because I didn't get my jollies back home before coming here, maybe my system is still outta whack and this is one of my many energy spurts or perhaps I'm afraid to sleep in a crumbling building and—I don't know—not wake up.

Doesn't matter. I'm so bored I'd get a rush chewing on rotten nails about now. I've played so much solitaire I swear I'm seeing diamonds in the sky…hey with Lucy! Okay, so I'm a little worn around the edges. I haven't slept going on three days. Sue me.

The 'something more' Dr. Zelenka alluded to turned out to be 'nothing more' than a big old dirt hole in the ground. It's by what I assume used to be the only actual door to the place—because of the rectangle shape and the tell-tale signs of wood stuck in some of the stones—and off-set diagonally from occasionally working console on the way-way other side of the temple.

The fascinating hole is about six feet deep, three feet wide and five long now that all the rubble's been cleared out and left all over the floor nearby. Couldn't they have considered taking some of the rocks, I don't know, outside? I've stared into the dark pit a couple of times—betcha that's where the toilet used to be. McKay wasn't thrilled when I made that assessment. At least they had an indoor facility, unlike us. He grumbled something about my heritage after that one.

There's only six of us here today: our military contingent, Sgt. Elliot and Lt. Fisk standing guard—though they look as bored as me—Nileson, Lee, McKay and myself. When I asked about the minimal security—I'd always assumed the scientists were well protected when off-world—McKay set me straight. According to the long range sensor on Atlantis, this planet isn't in the path of any Wraith ships…yet. The gate is close, if there is an emergency, we can double-time it back home. And they haven't seen any local visitors since arriving.

I still don't know why I'm stuck out here, but McKay refuses to let me go home. The others got to go only because they had some 'important lab tests to run'. Like my work isn't important? Well, not so much, I suppose.

But I had plans! And I waxed, dammit!

Okay, so it has been slightly necessary for me to hang around and turn on the panel every hour or so for some unknown reason. McKay thinks it might have some kind of kill switch like a car so that it doesn't stay running all the time and that no non-Ancient can hi-jack it.

Whatever it is. Even McKay's stumped on this thing. Could it possibly be because there's nothing else freakin' here! He doesn't want to hear that. So I keep telling him over and over just because I can. I don't get why his gene doesn't work on it. Why is it only mine? I feel so 'special'…Not!

"What is that? A diary?"

Damn, Maybe I should change the names to protect the guilty…huh?

I glance up; McKay's munching on a power bar over my shoulder. So I instantly close my laptop and glare at him. "Don't do that."

"It's just that your constant tapping on the keyboard is…distracting. I was wondering what was so important."

"None of your business. And if I'm so distracting, send me home."

He laughs as if I made a joke. "You don't want to go home."

"Uh…yeah I do. Right now would be great."

"Well, you can't," he says folding his arms and staring down his nose at me. He can be so…ugh!

"Why not?"

"Because I said so. This is my project—"

"Look, McKay, I'm not one of your little toadies you can push around and be all superior with…I'll kick your ass."

"You would not."

I stand up, clapping my hands and rubbing them together. "Is that a dare?"

He backs up a step, almost slips on a small stone but keeps himself upright. "Why…don't you go for a walk into town? Get some fresh air."

"There's a town?"

He points out the hole in the wall behind me. "Through the tree line, just over the hill…not ten minutes away. Kind of cowboyish."

"And you're just mentioning this now?"

He starts talking rapidly with his hands. "Well, we haven't really explored there, trying to keep a low profile, you know, don't want to draw unwanted attention to our little… not to mention…you didn't threaten to beat me up before."

"Do they have a saloon?"

"I…don't know. Possibly."

Turning my back on him, I unzip my duffle and retrieve two chocolate bars. I catch McKay greedily eyeing my stash. I zip my bag and get in his face immediately. "Touch my stuff—"

"You'll kick my ass." He nods.

"Inside-out," I tell him without blinking. McKay swallows hard, nodding again. I think he gets it. I take my time with the walk, still wary about whatever creatures might be living in the forest. Plus, I want to ease my way into the town. Like McKay said, no point in drawing attention.

That's gonna be a problem.

The place does have a western feel to it, though no real cowboy hats, more straw and some Fedoras, like Indiana Jones. But the boots are pretty close. It's so weird coming across people that evolved one way or another in a completely different galaxy only to be reminded of Earth.

I guess I don't blend in very well, since I'm wearing combat boots, black jeans and a tight yellow T-shirt. I don't conform to the Atlantis norm either. I wear the uniform when I'm working as a masseuse and I used to wear one in the kitchen, but I'll be damned if they're gonna stick me in one of those things when I'm being forced off-world. I will be comfortable or I won't go. Dr. Weir saw my blue jeans and T-shirt the other day and chose not to say anything, so I take that as a pass on dress code.

She really is good to me.

My hair's back in a ponytail and I'm awfully dusty. I certainly don't look like most of the women in town. Talk about taking time in front of the mirror. And, man, those dresses must be seriously uncomfortable. They look like Little House on the Prairie. But it's a burgeoning place, not as quiet as I expected. Seems there are several people from off-world, lots of traders. I don't match any of them either, but it looks like this place isn't unfamiliar with travelers.

I find the saloon easily enough, manage not to get molested on the way through town, though I do spark interest, but I blow it off with a couple friendly waves. "Keep your eyeballs to yourself, grandpa," I grumble but offer a polite grin.

I pull up to the bar, getting a few turning heads as I do, some of the chairs even squeak as the asses in them twist too quickly for a look at the newest stranger. The place is busy, but mostly with townsfolk it seems. I don't really spot any of the off-worldly dressed.

The bartender looks like he could be right out of the movies, suspenders and all. He's tall and beefy with a huge mustache. His tiny eyes with long lashes look like black bugs burrowing through day old bread. He lifts his chin in acknowledgment of my presence but doesn't ask me what I want.

"You got any booze here?"

"Huh?"

"Booze…alcohol…gutrot…whiskey?" The man just stares at me like I'm insane. Well, I've looked at myself that way several times, so why not some complete stranger. I point to the brown bottles behind the man's shoulder. "What's in that?"

"Poison," he says firmly.

"Poison?" I raise my brows. "Sounds yummy. Let's have some." There's a cackle of laughter behind me and I spin on my toes to stare down my would-be heckle group. Four men sit at a table about ten feet from me, sharing a bottle of what the bartender just called poison.

The three 20-or-30-something men are the ones laughing, but the fourth man is older, maybe in his fifties. He has a distinctly weathered face, many scars and he's watching me with dark eyes. Not only dark in color but dark in soul too, instantly raising my hackles and twitching my 'whiskers'. This man's seen a lot of unnecessary death in his time, possibly been the cause of some of it too. He raises his shot glass to me then downs it, his eyes never leaving mine.

Ignoring the knot of doom in my gut, I turn back to the bartender. "How much for one drink?"

"What've you got to trade, little thing?" he ask with a grin and a wink.

"Little thing," I repeat. "Now that's not supposed to be insulting is it?" The man simply stares at me. And I sigh, shaking my head. Men are men no matter where you go. And for some reason, I didn't notice there aren't any women in this here saloon until just now. Curious.

I pull out one of my prized Hershey Bars, keeping it below the bar and out of the man's sight as I rip the paper off and unfold the foil. I break off one piece of the chocolate, lift it up to the man and hand it over. He glowers at me. "Crazy female. We don't trade for food."

I push the piece toward him. "Just taste it. You don't like it, I'll go."

The bartender glances at the still chuckling trio then shoves the candy in his mouth. Instant bliss crosses his face and I know I've got a winner. "How much you got?" he asks.

I break the bar in half and offer him the one with the missing piece. "Gimme a double, you get all this."

His tongue's playing over his eager mouth as soon as I show him the chocolate. He quickly turns and grabs a not so clean glass and pours out at least a double shot for me. His greedy hand snatches the candy as I reach for my glass. I quickly stuff the remainder into my pocket. Hope it doesn't melt.

I hold up my glass and turn to the snickering trio again. They quickly silence when they see my hold on the 'poison'. The older man, however, is smiling at me. Not in a nasty way, but as if he approves of me somehow and the knot in my gut unravels slightly.

It's been a while since I've downed firewater. I just hope it doesn't taste like tequila. I shoot the whole thing in one gulp, leaving the youngins over there gaping and gasping. And I instantly know why.

Damn fine vodka! "Wow." I turn back to the bartender. "Nice juice, mister." His lips are covered in chocolate remnants and he grins at me with coated teeth. He's blinking at me as if I'm some…well…alien. I wonder if he's ever seen a woman drink that before and not fall over dead. I look over the rack. "How much for a bottle?"

He shakes his head. "Not for you."

Deciding not to get into a battle with a sexist over this, I choose the higher ground: bribery. I pull out the second half of the candy bar and lay it on the counter. Then I pull out the second bar, still intact and place it on top of the first. The bartender's beady eyes open wide and his tongue darts in and out of his mouth. He reaches for the candy but I'm faster and I cover it with my hand. "Uh uh." I lift my chin. "Bottle first."

With a grimace the man turns and grabs a full bottle from the shelf and sets it on the counter. As I wrap my hand around the glass neck, I lift my other from the candy. I turn on my toes, lift the bottle in salute to the men at table number four. The dark-haired, older man is busy with another shot. His eyes catch mine and he grins into his glass with a shake of his head. I flash a half smirk and head out. "Gentlemen."

All four men nod to me. "Ma'am." Wow, that almost sounded polite. I grin to myself.

Yeah, I kick ass wherever I go! Hoo-ra!

It's starting to get dark, but it's a short walk back over the hill and through the woods… 'to grandmothers house I go.' I giggle at the thought, but at the same time, I'm watchful—a left-over from witness relocation—but my whiskers aren't twitching and I can hear distinct movement it the trees and on the ground…critters going about their business without worry. However, my hair does feel a little funny. Oh, and now my feet are tingling.

Wow…alien vodka has a real kick!

I could get used to this. I laugh out loud as the tingles slowly move up my entire body. Cool! I consider sharing this with the girls at poker night, but first, I have to share this stuff with John when I get back. He's so going to owe me big time.

As soon as I cross the hole-in-the-wall threshold, McKay is waving frantically to me. "It's about time."

I pause long enough to stash my booty in my bag then make my way over to the console and touch the stinking thing. Nothing happens. I touch it again. Still nothing. I shake my hands as if that might be the problem, but that only increases the fabulous tingles and I giggle. McKay turns and stares at me.

"What's so funny?"

I let out a huge burp and laugh again. Fisk and Elliot chuckle to themselves. I smirk at McKay and play at saluting him. "Sorry sir. Had a bit of a drink in ye ole town…kinda kicked my ass."

"Are you drunk?"

I flap my hand through the air, missing his face by a hair's width. "No." My eyes wander over the ruins and I can see the stars falling through the big hole in the ceiling. Pretty. I blow air through my lips, making like a car engine and nod at McKay. "Probably…I think so." McKay sighs as if I've just pressed the button that will destroy the universe. "Hey!" I snap my finger in front of his face. Or at least I try to, they don't really work so much right now. "You're the one who sent me there."

"Oh, yes, blame me for your bar-hopping, beer guzzling ways."

I hold up my finger. "One drink! One bar, no hopping. And I hate beer." And I suddenly find that finger the most fascinating thing I've ever seen. It's a bit wobbly and it bends.

~ 16.5 ~

Rodney grabs Jax by the shoulders, jarring her into looking at him and not her undoubtedly fascinating finger. "You need to concentrate."

She hangs her head slightly, narrows her eyes, pressing her lips together into a firm line. "You're right." Then she twists out of his grip, spins around him in a strangely fluid manner, though obviously intoxicated, and stands in front of the console. She claps her hands together, rubs them quickly then spreads her fingers out, wiggling them in the air and attacks the panel as if she's about to play a piano. Her eyes close. She takes a deep breath. One eye opens and she looks at the non-functioning panel. She closes the eye again and takes another deep breath.

Rodney shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. This is some sort of cosmic punishment. It has to be. Blow up one tiny solar system and get stuck with…black-haired Barbie on booze. He exhales loudly.

"Stop distracting me," Jax snaps, peering at him through one open eye. She turns her attention back to the board. "Aaaaannnnddd…" The lights come up with an audible hum. "Voila!" Jax pulls her hands away and blows on her fingertips as if they're smoking. "I'm hot tonight!"

The soldiers covering the front and back entrances chuckle, getting a stern glare from Rodney in return.

Jax waves her arm. "Back to work everyone. Ohh, hey, what's this—"

"No don't—" Rodney reaches for her but not fast enough and she presses a button on the top left of the console.

The temple shakes again, causing more rocks to fall from the ceiling. Jax looks up and yells—as if she's having a jolly good time—"Earthquake!" Then she dives under the board.

Rodney joins her an instant later. The rumbling stops and they all come out from hiding. Or rather, the others slowly come back inside the temple, having run out for safety. He should have thought about that. Jax is still under that panel. Rodney squats and sees her grinning and for a fleeting moment, he thinks 'Carter who?' She giggles. "That was fun!" Then takes his offered hand and comes out.

"I'm so relieved you're having a good time now. Do you think it's possible—however unlikely—that you don't touch anything unless I tell you?"

Her hands land on her hips as a pout hits her mouth. "You told me to touch the panel."

"The panel yes, specifically. I made no mention of the big blue button. I don't even touch the big blue button."

With exasperation, she folds her arms and scowls at him, a lot like Elizabeth does sometimes. Strangely, it's not the first time he's noticed similarities between the two women. They obviously have the same bad taste in men. "Well why not? Are you afraid?"

"What, no." He thinks about what the translation said. "Well, actually…of that yes."

"Why?"

"It's too complicated to go into right now… let me get back to work." It's not really all that complicated, he just doesn't want to get into a discussion about the possible variations of meaning in Ancient to English translation. The blue button either means: Enlightenment or Ultimate Destruction. And given the fact that it nearly caused the building to collapse, Rodney's thinking it might be the worse case scenario.

"Fine," she says testily.

"Fine."

"I'm going for a walk." She tries to step by him, but wobbles on the debris and nearly falls over. She holds out both arms and for a moment, it looks like surfing. She steadies and heads for the 'front' door. She taps one of the soldiers on the chest before going past him. The young man's eyes follow her as a silly grin lifts his mouth.

Dr. Lee and Dr. Nileson get back to work on the panel. The other day, they found a way to hook up the console to Rodney's laptop, the only problems came when the thing would inexplicably shut-down causing whatever program that was running to halt and defrag. So far he's come across limited data about Ancient technology, but most of the information has been corrupted somehow because it comes out as gibberish. Rodney just wishes he could find the pathway that disables the damn kill switch. It must be like a password protection or something. He needs more time.

"Um, Dr. McKay?" The soldier watching Jax calls.

"What?"

"I think you should…"

McKay looks up from his data. "What!"

"She just fell down."

"Is she dead?"

"Uh…no sir. She's laughing."

Rodney waves a hand. "Then let her laugh."

"Shouldn't you—"

He huffs and groans. "If you're so worried about her…"

The soldier swallows hard. "It's just that…Ronon—"

"What?" He sees the slight fear in the soldier's eyes and realizes the problem. No one crosses Ronon Dex. Or touches his things. If Jax could be considered his…anything. Rodney's far more concerned with the Sheppard factor.

The Colonel behaves strangely around the woman. Happy almost. Rodney's seen the man have fun before, but always with reservation…the wary soldier constantly on guard. But in the time Rodney spent working on the translation back on Atlantis, he occasionally saw them interacting in the city and though he's not one to watch the train wreck that is Col. 'Kirk' Sheppard's love-life unless it affects him personally, Rodney found the two…intriguing. Cute even.

He shudders at that thought.

He understands the attraction from Sheppard's part; Jax is aesthetically pleasing and, as it happens, a pheromone-rich facility that Rodney's partially responsible for creating. He's noticed, in fact, more than a fair share of people—men and women—find her pleasing to be around despite her annoying and grating personality. Since this wasn't the case prior to the 'incident', Rodney has concluded that there are too many people on Atlantis with a bizarre 'pheromone induced' crush on Jax. According to them, she can do no wrong.

He's going to have to find a way to counter-act that. He'd ask Carson for help, but so far, the Scot's high on the list of pro-Jax supporters. And so is Elizabeth. Kavanaugh hasn't shown any indication…but then again, he's Kavanaugh. He doesn't like anyone.

But there has to be more to it than that for Sheppard, however. Rodney thought that Sheppard had a thing for Elizabeth and he knows Elizabeth cares far too much for the errant flyboy, so what's changed on that front?

"Dr. McKay?" The soldier says. "She might…get hurt."

Rodney grumbles expletives under his breath. He's not one to cuss, generally, he prefers using his biting wit to get a particular sentiment out. But, of course, if something does happen to the drunken mess, Rodney would not only be killed by Ronon, but surely Sheppard would want a pound of flesh as well. And they've got devious little minds. They'd find a way to make it hurt and last a long time. With another huff, Rodney sets his laptop on the panel and heads out.

He finds her easily enough; the moon of this planet is quite close and very bright in the night sky. She's sitting in the meadow near the tree line, legs splayed out in a 'V', holding her hands up and taking imaginary pictures of the night sky, giggling. If he wasn't so pressed for time, he might find the whole thing amusing. For a short while Rodney did have a bit of a crush on the young lady even pre-pheromone enhancement, but as he's gotten to know her a little better he's discovered she's so not his type. She's a whiny, grumpy, pain in the ass. "Jax!"

She turns her head, seeing him coming at her. She gets up, rushes to him and grabs his arms in a fierce hold. "You have to let me go home."

"What?"

She squeezes hard. "I'm going crazy here. I have to go back…please." She drops to her knees and clasps her hands together. "Do I have to beg," she sobs.

Rodney doesn't know what to do. He glances back at the soldier who turns a blind eye. When he looks back down at Jax, she's rolling on her back laughing hysterically. "And the Oscar goes to…"

"Very funny."

Jax sits up, still laughing. "You're no fun, McKay." She sighs. "And I really am bored."

"Tough."

"Tough? Did you just say 'tough'?"

Rodney crosses his arms glaring down at her. "Yes. I did. Now start behaving like an adult—"

She gets to her feet, plants her hands on her hips and scowls at him. "Why should I…you don't."

"What?"

"You're always ordering people around, pushing your IQ down their throats," she pokes him in the chest. "But inside you're a scared little boy, McKay. Afraid the bullies are gonna figure it out and pants you."

"Am not!"

"Or was it wedgies?"

"Jax…" he points at the temple. "Go to your room and lie down."

Her brows rise as her eyes open wide. "I'd love to. But it's that way." She points toward the forest and the gate beyond. He's surprised she got the direction right in her wobbly state.

"You can't leave. That's an order."

"Would you like fries with that?" She pokes him in the chest again, harder. "I wanna go home!"

"You have to calm down."

Jax slides her jaw to the side and glares at him. "You're mean. You know that? And short. You're a mean, short…old man!" She growls through clenched teeth.

"Thank you for…hey! I'm not old."

Jax wags an accusing finger at him. "You're mean and…short and…nasty and….OLD!" She takes a step closer, her eyes dark and hard. "And you seriously need to get laid."

"What—"

"That wasn't an offer. Merely an observation."

"Well keep your observations to yourself! If anyone needs that…it's you!"

Her arms sweep out into the air. "I know! And I was this close!" She squeezes her thumb and finger together. "I had him right where I wanted him."

"Oh, whoa…too much information."

But she's on a rant. "You just had to screw me over with this whole—" she's motioning to the temple when there's a sudden crash of rocks inside. A plume of dust rises into the night. "Huh…well…" she tilts her head. "If they're dead can I go home?"

Rodney grabs Jax's hand and drags her back to the temple where he releases her once they go inside. Doctors Lee and Nileson are on the ground and both soldiers are checking on them. Rodney makes his way over. They're covered in dust and it looks like Dr. Nileson has a gash on his forehead.

"What happened?" Rodney asks accusingly.

"We went to move your laptop…" Dr. Nileson starts.

Dr. Lee coughs. "And it hit the button."

"Just great. You could have been killed. Do you realize what kind of setback that would be?"

"We're fine, by the way," Dr. Nileson says as he wipes the blood from his head.

Rodney sighs. "No…you're not. Both of you go back to Atlantis and have Beckett check you out. Come back tomorrow if he lets you."

One of the soldiers offers to walk with them to the gate. McKay waves all three off. He checks the board. Surprisingly, none of the raining debris has managed to hit the work station. Well, except for the dust.

Rodney watches the scientists leave and wonders if they all should go back tonight, get a good night's sleep and return in the morning. Or even a day or so down the line. If what Jax yelled at him has any merit, Rodney's suspecting there's a really pissed off Colonel just waiting to ring his neck.

Maybe going back right now isn't such a good idea. He could send Jax…let her deal with some 'issues' and have her come back tomorrow. Yeah. He'll do that. Rodney looks around, finding her in the shadows near the front entrance where he left her. She's staring into the hole that she grossly named the doody pot. Her head's tilted to the side as she contemplates something in her alcohol haze. Rodney pulls up next to her.

Now, I know I'm not drunk. And yet he too is mesmerized by what he sees. Steps. Stairs actually, a short flight of stairs has somehow appeared in the hole.

Jax points at the stairs. "Do you see that?"

"Yeah."

She backhands his chest. "Good. Thought I was hallucinating." She toes the first step before putting her weight on it.

Rodney grabs her arm. "What are you doing?"

"Following the white rabbit."

"What rabbit?"

Jax huffs and shakes her head at him. She points again. "Hole…steps. Follow the steps into the hole…door. Open door, go through door."

Rodney squints and sees what she's pointing at. True enough there is a dirt camouflaged door in the hole. Before he can stop her, Jax is down the steps. He follows quickly. Both of them search the door for a way to open it, but it's solid. "Looks like the sliding doors on Atlantis," Rodney says. He starts digging into the dirt along the side, searching for a crystal panel. He points Jax to search the other side.

Surprisingly enough, she does without complaint. In fact, she's giggling as she digs through the dirt. "This is fun," she squeaks. "Hey, McKay," she calls and he turns to face her. "Mud-pie." She slams a palm full of dirt into his face.

He manages to wipe most of the dirt from his eyes and spit it out of his mouth. "What'd you do that for?"

"Because it's funny."

"Because it's…what is wrong with you—aside from the obvious being that your nuts!"

"Don't make me kill you, McKay."

"I'm starting to think that might be preferable to actually spending time with you."

"Lt. Cadman had the same feeling about you when she was stuck in your head."

"I never asked—"

"You never ask for anything McKay, you just order. Let me guess…only child."

"No. I have a sister."

"Really? How many times has she tried to kill you in this lifetime?"

Rodney actually takes the time to think about that for a moment before realizing his answer should be: "Never!"

"Ah uh. I saw you hesitate."

"You saw nothing."

"You just have to face it McKay. You rub people the wrong way."

"I don't rub anyone—"

Jax chuckles. "According to Katie Brown that's a big problem right there."

A soft chuckle echoes overhead and Rodney knows the other soldier heard the whole thing. His face feels hot and his jaw nearly hits the ground. He holds up a hand, too flustered to argue any further. "Shut up!"

Rodney pulls out his flashlight and searches the sides of the door again. He finds a blue button similar to the one on the panel upstairs. He presses it but nothing happens. He turns, flashing the light in Jax's eyes and she quickly howls and turns away, slamming her fist into his shoulder. Great, that's going to bruise. "Look here." He aims the light at the button again.

"Oooh, a PHD," she says, blinking rapidly, seemingly trying to focus.

"A what?"

"Press here dummy." And so she does. A second later the door slides open from right to left. Jax tries to take the first step inside, but Rodney holds out his arm. She grins evilly at him. "Let me guess…the aged before all else."

Rodney growls. "I'm not old." He pushes his way ahead of her.

"Tell that to the receding hair line," she mumbles. She backs up to the stairs, lifting herself a bit higher. "Elliot…we're goin' in." She looks down at McKay. "Standard military grunt of approval." Then she follows him inside.

The short tunnel they enter is made of the same stone as the entire temple and leads to another door maybe five feet away. He whisks the flashlight over the next door, it's similar to the first, but there's no blue button, just a regular set of door crystals. He waves his hand over it, but nothing happens. Reaching behind him, he takes Jax's hand and presses it to the panel.

"Hey…take it easy, McGrabby."

As soon as her hand hits the crystals, the door slides open. The room is rather large, though dark, but the ceiling is low and Rodney has to fight the sudden feeling of claustrophobia. He takes several deep breaths, trying to ignore the stale smell and taste of the air.

The flashlight beam plays over the first few feet inside the room. But he no longer needs it the moment Jax steps inside. Just like with Sheppard, the room senses her presence and blue lights come up within the walls. The boards don't come up, but he's sure she just needs to initialize one or two of them to get the desired results.

Rodney glances at the ceiling. He looks back at the door then toward the far wall and quickly calculates the first place they have to go. Taking Jax's hand again, he drags her farther inside the room that looks to be shaped in a 'U'. He pulls her around to the other side and finds what he is expecting: an exact replica of the panel from upstairs…in the same spot. He points to the blue button in the corner. "PHD," he says.

Jax takes a deep breath then gives the button a good punch. The panel lights up as do the others in the room. A heads-up display on the wall screen spews several moments of random numbers and letters in Ancient. Then it clears and two words pop up that Rodney translates quickly. Welcome Janus. Rodney glances at Jax then at the screen and back at Jax. No…can't be.

Can it?

Rodney jumps from console to console. On a different counter under a hard transparent casing are several Ancient devices. He recognizes the personal shield, though he's loathe to try that again. There are small data pads, like the life-signs detector or medical scanner, all tagged and labeled for identification. In the wall that makes up the cut out 'U' section of the floor plan, he sees one of the stasis pods like the one they found old Elizabeth in. Rodney throws out his arms in glee. "Do you know what this is? It's amazing. It's stupendous. It's—"

"Disneyland?" she asks with a roll of her eyes.

Rodney tisks her and wags his finger. "Disney World. This is huge!" Rodney can't keep his delight from showing on his face or the excitement out of his voice. But in just a single moment, she's able to steal his joy.

"Can I go home now?"