~ 17 ~

So I shoved the dirt into McKay's face and we bickered like a couple of school kids, but I bested him, got him flustered. I had to use the sex card, of course, because it's the only way to get to a man like McKay. I can't call him an idiot or anything absurd like that because, let's face the facts the man's a genius and lets everyone know it over and over and blah, blah, blah. So pulling out the old performance anxiety play is low, but…I never said I don't play dirty.

Anyway, we found the tunnel. Fun…more stones. My tingles took the high road about five minutes ago and left me almost completely sober and very frustrated…again. The moment I get back, John had better be waiting for me naked, otherwise I'm gonna attack him in public and give the whole city a free show.

There's an end to the tunnel and Dr. McGrabby's pulling me along like his own personal valet. Lovely. Another room. I was in a room. My own room! And John was there…and John was half naked, looking so yummy and…oooh, lights. That still gets me; that a room can know when I come in. It's strange that McKay can't get things happening around here. Maybe he's not rubbing something right here either.

Mental snicker.

Oh, I'm hungry. Time for a snack. But McGrabby's pulling me around the room again. "PHD," he says with a crazy looking grin. Okay, so I didn't wait for any kind of translation 'cause you know, looks kind of straight forward now that I notice it. The board is exactly like the one upstairs. So I push the button. And voila! Blinky lights and a little vibration too. Mmm, interesting.

So obviously the console upstairs is a big old nuttin, like a red-herring thing maybe. Unless…? Doesn't matter; let the big brains figure it out.

"Can I go home now?" I know I sound like a whiney child, but do I care? That would be a 'NO', big letters, neon sign. McKay's so keen on his new toys he doesn't seem to notice me at all until I ask the fateful question.

With a wave of his hand, he shoos me toward the entrance and I'm all giddy, clapping my hands and rushing with new found energy toward my freedom. I want a shower and some John and some more—"

"Wait!" McKay calls as soon as I step into the tunnel. I turn to see him coming out of the dark room.

"What?" He motions to the room. I shrug. "Again? What?"

McGrabby pulls me back inside and the problem is like a bucket of cold water right in my face. The lights come back up…but only if I'm in here. "Fuck!"

The four of us: McKay, Elliot, Fisk and I are standing outside the engaged wormhole, but McKay refuses to return to Atlantis. He's on the radio talking to Dr. Weir. "The power only engages if Jax is here. It has to be gene specific. I have a theory it has something to do with Janus. Fascinating really—"

He listens to something I can't hear. "She's fine, Elizabeth, tell Carson not to worry so much."

I reach for the headset and he bats my hand away. I would run for the wormhole, but he told me the shield is active for security measures. I'm not so sure I believe him, but I can't risk being a bug on a windshield, now can I.

He tried unsuccessfully to keep me imprisoned in the underground lab that apparently only my 'special' gene can manipulate. As it turns out only I can press the blue button for the passageway to open or close as well. McKay got stuck in the dark for a good fifteen minutes until Fisk begged me to let him out. So I made a deal with McKay before releasing him—okay, I blackmailed the man. He had to contact Atlantis and let them know what's going on and have Dr. Weir tell me I had to stay and help.

We left the door open so that McKay could go in without my assistance—my idea because I'm hoping not to stick around—but covered the hole with plastic sheeting held down by stone debris then tossed a whole lot of dirt on top of it, just in case any townies got interested. Being uncharacteristically optimistic, I grabbed my bag of goodies and trucked it back to the gate. If anything, I need to do laundry and get more clothes. I figured bringing my stuff along would be incentive for McKay to relent. But it turns out the man's not really human. He's a machine with one program constantly running.

"No, I want to stay and start work immediately." Dr. Weir must say something else because McKay's face falls. "I'm sure she can sleep in there just as easily as upstairs."

"What sleep?" I growl.

McKay sneers at me. "How's my team?" He gets his answer and glances at me, nodding. I guess that means they're fine. "Okay, here's what I need. Zelenka, Lee, Chung, Harris and that brit…uh Dr. Morgan." He stops. "No, Nileson can stay. Have him work on some of the tablets or…whatever." He listens. "Because he's an archeologist, not a physicist. I'm talking top of the line material here. Besides, his head's a little banged up, he could use the rest." Dr. Weir says something and he makes a face. "Of course I can be magnanimous."

I cross my arms and glare at him. "Give me the radio."

"What?"

I step into his personal space. "Give me the radio," I say slowly, then raise my 'don't fuck with me' brow. McKay takes a step back, but does as I say and hands me the headset. I settle it on my ear. "This is Jax."

"Hello, Jax, how are you?" Dr. Weir asks.

I sigh heavily. "Is Col. Sheppard there by chance?"

"Right here," he says. Oh, his voice is so delicious.

"Do you have that list I gave you?"

He chuckles lightly then clears his throat. "Uh…I haven't added to it."

I close my eyes, imagining him pliable in my hands. I glare at Dr. McKay. "I'm going to go with number 6 in just a couple minutes."

John chuckles. "You have a hatchet handy, do you?"

"I'm resourceful," I say with a snort.

Everything's silent on the other end for a brief moment then Dr. Weir returns to the line. "Jax, let me speak with Dr. McKay again."

I tear off the headset and thrust it back to him. Dr. Weir says something and McKay's eyes widen and he takes another step back from me. "But—" He's obviously cut off. "Fine." He scowls at me. "We're going home…for a rest."

I glance at Elliot and Fisk, both grinning back at me.

"The shield is down," McKay relays.

He doesn't have to tell me twice. I grab my bag and rush up the wide stone steps and through the wormhole. I'm on the other side instantly. The city is bright with morning or afternoon light and it's slightly jarring so I have to cover my eyes for a moment. When I can focus, I see Dr. Weir coming down the steps to meet me with a polite grin. She nods. "You sounded like you needed a break."

Behind me, McKay, Elliot and Fisk stroll through the gate, having to adjust their eyes as well.

I nod to her, surreptitiously glancing around, but not finding the face I want. "If I wasn't so gross, Dr. Weir, I'd hug you."

She chuckles softly, catching my gaze. "He just went off-duty," she says offering a quick smile. She pulls the list from her pocket and hands it to me. "Very… inventive."

I stuff it in my pocket and bob my head. "Well…it's McKay…has to have that something extra, you know?"

"With what?" McKay asks. "What was that?"

She nods again. "Well…I'll let you get cleaned up and rested. Dr. Beckett would like to see you first though. Briefly."

I expected that much. "Thank you…again." And then I hustle down the corridor towards the infirmary.

I hear McKay yelling after me. "Eight hours! No more."

Beckett gives me the usual once over, it takes less than ten minutes. He hands me more supplements and makes me eat two granola bars as I sit in front of him then orders me to bed for at least nine hours. I sigh gratefully. "After my shower…that's the plan." Before leaving, I glance back at him. "Dr. McKay expects me back in eight hours."

Beckett flashes his dimples. "I'll have a word with him."

Some people are just so cool!

At my door, I know he's in there even before I palm the crystal. It's like the whiskers twitching, but not. More like a flutter in my belly and that tell-tale tingle that hits me a bit lower. He's standing in front of me, fully clothed…in his black shirt... I love that shirt. I drop my bag, practically drooling at the sight of him. He grins at me, showing the dimples and I sigh happily. "Can we get naked now?"

John grabs me up and kisses me eagerly. "That's the plan." He caresses my face with his hands as his eyes study me as though I'm some sort of apparition. His eyes are so green today, but I can still catch the subtle blue and brown mixed in. He looks so pretty.

Ugh! And I must look like crap!

Yet, here he is, holding me close, peering at me with that smoldering gaze that gives me all kinds of tickles. But as he tries to run his fingers through my hair, they get tangled in the mess. I groan with disappointment but he simply chuckles deep in his throat. A moment later, he's leading me into the bathroom where I see a tub full of bubbles.

"Okay," I sigh and he slowly undresses me. Oh heaven.

He sits in the tub behind me and reminds me how attentive he can be to a task. Especially as he washes my whole body with soothing, gentle strokes. He's exceptionally benevolent in his ministrations and it makes me melt. Later, he massages my hair and scalp with tons of lathery shampoo. His strong hands and fingers, usually so powerful, are amazingly tender. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensations.

I don't realize I've fallen asleep until I feel myself floating through the air. I vaguely remember John standing me up and plying a towel to my whole body. Yes, I do remember because he asked me about the bruise on the back of my leg. I don't think I got out much on the topic though…very fuzzy.

But I'm in his arms and that's all I care about. Then I'm settled between my crisp, expensive sheets and I'm alone. My eyes pop open. John's getting dressed! "Stay," I manage groggily. "Please." I hold out my hand and he takes it. Leaving on his boxers, he slides into bed next to me and I actually snuggle up against his warm chest, my hand still grasping his. "You make me wanna cuddle."

He chuckles lightly, now able to comb his fingers through my hair. "I do, huh?"

Oh, that feels so nice.

"Yep…bastard."

The rumble in his chest makes me smile and then I'm gone.

~ 17.5 ~

John slips out while Jax is sleeping peacefully.

He told Elizabeth he was taking a couple hours off-duty and she didn't argue. She had to know he planned on spending that time with Jax, but if it hurt her, he couldn't tell. Ever since he and Jax openly started dating, Elizabeth's been more closed off to him. She's not unfriendly or hostile, just…cooler, more professional. They still banter, but it's with reservations on her part. They don't touch…or at least if he touches her even a little, she pulls away.

That's what she's doing. She's pulling away. She's pushing him toward Jax so that he's happy. She's stepping back so that she's safe.

Damn, how'd this get so complicated?

It hurts that there's this wedge between them. He loves Elizabeth, he knows it. But he also realizes that if he isn't in-love with Jax already, he soon will be. He can't help it. They are great together. And he can relax around her in a way that he can't with anyone else…not even Elizabeth.

Jax doesn't make any demands on him. At least none he doesn't want anyway. They have an amazing amount of things in common, plus she gets his sense of humor and he likes her dry wit as well. She's clever and doesn't let him get away with things…unless she wants him to. He doesn't have to be on-guard, worrying about her stress level or if she's working too hard. And they laugh…a lot. He likes to laugh. Since coming here he hasn't done too much of that.

But there's still a secret part to Jax he can't reach. He feels it. She's not totally open to him. She holds back. He knows on some level Jax is afraid of him.

But Elizabeth trusts him…completely. And that's really important. He needs that. Relies on it. And they're good together. Strong. And she's been there for him, even if only during one of their silent balcony sessions, he felt her there. They need each other.

...that's it!

Elizabeth needs him and he needs her. Jax…he may need her because of their new connection… but he's not so sure it goes both ways. That's what she holds back from him. He still gets the impression that she could walk away in a moments notice. Turn her back on him even now.

Elizabeth would never do that…and neither would John.

It's like he's choosing between two runaway trains and each has only one passenger. If he chooses Jax, Elizabeth crashes. If he chooses Elizabeth, Jax crashes. Either way, someone's gonna get hurt.

Including him.