Love Me For Me Chapter 5: Love makes the world go round, a degrassi fanfic

Chapter 5: Love makes the world go round

((Mandy's POV))

Here, here I am again
And I'm staring at these same four walls
Alone again
And now, all the colors blend
And im growing numb and I've become
This empty page

I think it's the hormones or the pregnancy, but I've felt totally depressed lately. I mean, look at me, I'm 6 months pregnant, and I'm barely 15, I'm not even 16 yet! What am I thinking? I'm not fit to be a mother. Why oh why did I go through with this shit. Oh yeah…Craig, he convinced me, he wanted a family, he thought it'd be perfect. Does he know the nights I don't stay with him I cry myself to sleep? Does he know how much I hate being like this that I just want to be normal again? He doesn't know how it feels to be in high school and pregnant. He gets a pat on the back from his buddies for "scoring" with a chick. While I walk around, everyone's favorite rumor. Sadly, Manny warned me, Emma warned me, I couldn't resist, the hot older guy wanting to be my boyfriend…everyone's dream right? Not until the night you have sex with him, and he doesn't protect himself properly. Besides the depression, he doesn't understand the nicotine fits I have because he made me quit cold turkey. It's not too easy to quit something you've been doing for 3 years. I'm just going to keep this bottled up inside me, and cry myself to sleep every night. I mean, seriously, that's the same thing I'll be doing once these children are here, cry with them. What else can a motherless child do to raise her children out of wedlock? I mean, what's the worst that could happen? He claims he loves me, but sometimes I'm not so sure he does.

Hold on, its tragic
Stumbling through all this static

I just want to talk to you
And my broken heart just has no use
And I, I guess promises are better
left unsaid, yeah
Every time you try to tell me
You say the words that I'm the only
But I'm the one who's crawling on the ground
When you say love makes the world go 'round

It kept me thinking the whole night as I was asleep in my own bed for once. I had hardly slept, and the babies started kicking a lot lately. 'maybe they're crammed, maybe I sleep weird, and they can't move' I thought as I laid on a position on my back. Soon, I felt a small lightening sensation, sort of weird down my stomach 'oh god, what's this?' I thought as I opened my eyes wide in fear. Soon, I dug through me nightstand, and found my cell phone. Going through the directory I found what I was looking for "Craig Manning".

Ring…

"Come on Craig answer."

Ring…

"Please come on…"

Ring…

"Hello"a groggy Craig said at 3 in the morning

"Craig, it's Mandy."

"What…are you having cravings again?" he said nonchalantly

"No, I think it's the babies, I think something's wrong…we need to go to the hospital!" I said as I sat in bed in pain and fear.

"Ok, don't worry, I'll be there in 5 minutes" he said and hung up quickly.

And again, a minute before Craig arrived, I felt it again, I had another pain in my stomach. Not soon after, Craig was there, at my door, in pajama pants. My dad and his wife weren't home, they were at some party, so they didn't want me to stay at Craig's again, and said to stay home, and rest peacefully. As soon as Craig got there, he helped me walk down the stairs to Joey's car (which he had borrowed). He tried to go as fast as he could without getting into an accident, and we then arrived at the ER.

As soon as Craig and I walked in, we came up to a window, with a chubby little nurse guarding the office.

"What's ya problem?" She said while smacking on her gum, and thumbing through a magazine.

"Uh…it's…it's…uh…--" Craig tried to explain but couldn't

"Son, if you can't explain, let the young lady." She said as she looked down her glasses at him.

"Hi…My name is Mandy and I'm having shocking pains in my stomach, and oh yeah I'm 6 months pregnant…and we're worried." I said as carefully as I could to the idiotic nurse.

"Alright…Orderly! Bring out a wheelchair please and take her up to the maternity ward!" The nurse exclaimed.

My love, look at what you've done to me
For someone who has felt so strong
It's amazing I'm completely gone

After 3 hours of uncomfortable probes, and pricks…the doctor finally figures out what my problem is. I hate what I have to hear what he says. I mean, one thing the doctor can say, can completely change everything. What if my babies died. What if I have to have them now. I'm not ready at all, oh my goodness…too much stress in my life right now! Here it comes…

"Mr. And Mrs. Manning…everything seems fine with the babies. Luckily we don't have to induce labor or anything of the sort today. But I do have some unwanted news. Amanda, it seems you have severe high blood pressure. Unfortuantly, it's bad due to the fact that you are pregnant, with twins I might add, and you need all the strength you can get. My diognostic is that you will be on bed rest for the remaining months or until your water breaks. I will make weekly house calls, and check up on you, but for the mean time, take your vitamins, and I'll have a nurse explain all you can and can't do in this time." The doctor said as Craig and I stared in utter shock, oh yeah, we didn't use my real last name because we didn't want people to think horribly of us.

After the nurse explained everything to us, we found out bed rest meant, I could only get up to go to the bathroom, and nothing else…oh god, these next three months will be hell.

Hold on, its tragic
Stumbling through all this static

So after all this mess, Craig insists that I stay at his house from now on. In case of any possible emergencies. So yes, we stay together like husband and wife, sleep in the same bed, and argue every so often like them, how awesome! Sometimes it's over the stupidest things, like most recently, yesterday…

"Craig, why were you gone for so long?" I said as I was angry because I've been in bed for the past 2 days.

"I was at band practice…we need it, and me and Marco were writing another song." Craig said as he chuckled walking in.

"Are you really sure Craig? Were you Really with Marco at band practice? Were you with Ellie or Manny Craig? I can't stand that you're with those sluts a lot too" I said in disgust as I talked to him.

"What sluts? You mean your friend Manny and my friend Ellie? Yes, I hang out with them because they're my friends, and Manny and Ellie are in the band, you know that."

"I hate that you undermine me Craig." I said as I started crying. "Do you know how hard it is for me? I can barely walk on my own to the bathroom without help, I just, I need someone here for me a lot of the time, and I get lonely."

"It's ok, I don't fully understand, but I want to, I wish I could stay with you at all times, but you know that during the day I work with Joey at the car dealership, and nights are all yours. Emma's always here for you too." Craig said as he tried to hold me in our bed.

"Just stay with me now." I said as I fell asleep, the frustration made me too tired to fight anymore…god I hate being on bed rest, I feel more sluggish and useless than usual.

If that's the kind of love you give me
I'd rather be alone, believe me
it's not the way you're supposed to treat me
I'd rather walk away

So, that's how it's been these past few days. I've been a total bitch, and he's been nothing but perfect, as always. I'm always the screw up; it's my fault if he ever leaves me. If he ever cheats on me. God, what am I going to do if I screw all this up. Oh yeah, I'll be a 16 year old mother with 2 children, no husband or boyfriend, and no mother to help me out…just an almost homeless mother, how great. I'm thinking way to into this. How about I enjoy it every night, sleep cuddled up to Craig, and sleep fine…or not…?

I just want to talk to you
And my broken heart just has no use
And I, I guess promises are better
left unsaid, yeah
Every time you try to tell me
You say the words that im the only
But I'm the one who's crawling on the ground,
When you say love makes the world go 'round, yeah
You say love makes the world go 'round
Every time you try to tell me
I don't care you're not the only
Don't you know I'm coming back around
Cause I say love makes the world go 'round, yeah
Cause I say love makes the world go 'round…

A/N: How was it? Good? Bad? So horrible I should die? Well, only way I'll know is if you Review my story! And encourage me to update more! yay! oh and that's Love makes the world go 'Round by Ashlee Simpson!