Thanks to Merowen for inspiring me :) And to everyone who reviewed and screamed at me :p, I hope you like this chapter more then.
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'You will dance at your wedding'I keep thinking about this, but I find my mind wandering to a different part of the sentence
'...your wedding'
Wedding? My wedding? I'm going to get married? I wanted to get married before the accident. I always secretly dreamed of having a family. Something like this: A little boy to teach him everything there is to know about every sport. A little boy to show how to be a gentleman to the ladies. A little girl that Kevin Jr. could annoy all day long showing her gross stuff like bugs or mud. A little girl to overprotect and spoil. A little girl to walk down the aisle on her big day. A baby that cries all night long and makes funny noises when is happy. A baby whose first words could be "daddy" or "donut". A loving wife that even though has had three kids is still as beautiful as the day I met her or more. The perfect woman to call the mother of my children. A loving wife that knows how to cook, because let's face it, food is important. A house with a white picket fence and a big tree in front with a tire swing for the kids to play.
But now... now I don't know if that dream still can come true. I mean, I've talked to the doctors. I know I can still have kids. But I don't know if I'm still confident enough to find that woman from my fantasy. It used to be so easy for me to get chicks before.
'...will...'
Will. I have to want it. This isn't going to just happen to me. I can't stay in my room forever and hope that someday I'm going to magically appear at my wedding and I'll be dancing. I have to stop dividing my life in before and after. If I don't change, then nothing is going to change. I have to get over this and finally move on.
'...dance...'
But what if dancing doesn't mean walking? They are two completely different verbs after all. I've seen the videos, books and pamphlets that mom brought me. I can dance in my chair. I even heard from some girls when I was in therapy that it can be quite romantic to dance with a guy in a wheelchair. They said that they felt more connected and closer. I'd have to practice of course. I don't have that much control of this chair yet. But I'm sure I could get the hang of it.
'You will dance at your wedding'I know that I want to... And I know that wanting it will help me get it. I can't stay like this forever. To hell with percentages and doctors and all that medical stuff only they understand. If I dance at my wedding it will be because I earn it, because I want to.
"Beware everyone! Kevin Girardi is back, and he's taking control of his own future."
-FIN-
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I think it's good, but then again I wrote it. Now back to the physics project my mom thinks I'm doing :)
- Crazy little witch -