Ginny-Star: Is there an excuse? I'm afraid not. There comes a time when what once was a gripping part of your life begins to loosen, and gradually you find yourself looking at real life, where it comes in the shape of applications for colleges and asks you the 'where in life do you want to be?' question. And of course, that fabulous film from 1986 which I have only just discovered- Labyrinth. Oh goodness, God bless that funky movie.

Buggering Knight in Shining Armour- Part Two

Alright then, maybe I'll just go see how Harry's getting on with that letter and not wallow in self pity. I mean, there's a time and a place for everything, and frankly I think I should just put all this behind me- look forward to a better future an' all.

Soft murmurings come from my bedroom. Huh… okay, a little weird- It's just Harry who's in the room right? Maybe he's having another dream? Or… or another vision? Cautiously, I step in front of my door and knock.

"Harry?" I said uncertainly- hah! Imagine me uncertain! I'm never uncertain! What sounds suspiciously as two shocked gasps emit from the room followed by an unnatural thumping noise that sounds like something falling onto the floor. So, me being… y'know, 'Knight In Shining Armour' again, I threw open the door. Whoops.

On second thought, 'whoops' doesn't even cover it.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Oh Harry, Harry, Harry. Even a memory charm won't help me- ever. You are dead meat, my boy. If I could see myself, I'm sure I'd have this, this, revolted and disgusted and terrified look on my face!

Why, you ask. Why am I so sickened? I'll tell you, oh yes I'll tell you right now.

Harry is on the floor, on top of my sister. MY sister!

…

I'm having a nightmare! That must be it! THAT would explain why… why…

Why Ginny is sprawled across Harry in a none-too innocent way. This must be why I'm appearing like a total idiot, why Fred and George spoke to me about se- s- se- birdsandbees! It's not real, it can't be! Any moment now, I'm gonna find myself in Hogwarts seeing Snape and Trelawney in a very compromising situation as well. Ugh, okay, now THAT isn't too pretty a mental picture either. I can just about feel my breakfast crawling back up again.

I glanced around fearfully, fully expecting the room to melt into the dungeons at school- along with Dumbledore asking me if I want a Cockroach Cluster to go with that mug of blood in my hand. Eurgh, blood.

"Oh my God, Ron! This… um… this isn't what it looks like!"

Oh. It isn't a dream. I pinched myself just to make sure. Ow, okay. Not a dream. But-Harry-and-Ginny-my sister-in-bad-position-Big Brother Protection Mode-argh!

"What the HELL is going on here!" I shouted in an unfortunately rather high pitched voice that ended up sounding more like a squeak than a roar. "I can not believe you Harry, this is my little sister you're trying to… to… sleep with!" Ahh, that satisfying drain of all colours in my best mates face almost makes up for that fact that he's lying ON TOP of my SISTER.

Not really.

"RONALD WEASLEY! We-we weren't doing ANYTHING like that!"

I rounded on my sister, practically dragging her from under the pawing lad who claimed to be my friend, and glared at the silly, SILLY girl.

"Weren't doing anything? Weren't doing anything!" I repeated helplessly, my voice doing some fantastic wobbly thing. "That didn't look like you weren't doing anything to me!" Here, I gesture with some sort of vague hand movement I'm sure is meant to explain something rather than looking like some sort of lost sign language for 'flopping dead fish'. Ginny's eye begins to twitch. Am I ever thankful it's the holidays; it means I don't have to suffer the terrifying hexes my darling baby sister can do.

Back on track! Baby sister! Baby! She's younger than Harry! That… the… CAD! He was trying to put the moves on my BABY sister! Heaven help me, all I can see is red. I'm sure if dearest Sybil could see me now, she'd have some sort of little saying for me.

"Ahh young Weasley, when the stars of Orion coincide with Saturn, the rings of fate will bring forth a visage of young marital bliss. Your young sister will conceive the children of Harry Potter… Harry Potter… Harry Potter… Harry Potter…"

"NO!"

Oops, okay, so I said that aloud did I? Might be why Harry and Ginny are looking at me in a strange way. A feral snarl emits from my mouth as I lunge at Harry. Instantly (damn that boys Seeker skills), he puts his arms up to defend himself as I try to pummel his bloody brains out with my mighty fists of power. What the hell does he think he's doing? He should take his punishment like a man! He tried to kiss-my-sister-and-more!

"OW, Ron stop it now you stupid idiot!" he yells at me as he tries to grab my admittedly flailing arms. I can hear Ginny in the background chattering like some rabid squirrel.

"Stop? Stop! I didn't bloody well see you stop when you and Ginny- ARGH!" I can't believe him! He's mean to be my best friend. Score one for me- height advantage! I grab at his neck and just begin to get a good grip when suddenly my arm goes slack.

The reason?

Oh, just that Ginny has grabbed at the hair on the back of my neck.

"AH! OW GINNY, GET OFF ME!" My knees buckle as Harry scrambles out of arms reach and I can see the rabid squirrel at the corner of my vision. Standing on tip toe, she gave me a very menacing look of awesome power before twisting the hair on my neck a little.

I gave out a very unmanly shriek of pain (it hurt, alright? More than you can imagine!).

"Now you listen here Ron Weasley!" She fumed at me with the slightest little wobble in her voice. It was the wobble more than anything that made me quieten down, not that I'm soft when it comes to my sister, you have to realise. "Harry was not doing anything to me, alright? I came in here to talk to him, even if that's so hard a thing for your incompetent little mind to understand! We were NOT doing anything like your dirty mind was thinking, so STOP RUINING MY LIFE!" The little hand that had kept a merciless death grip on my hair abruptly disappeared and as I turned around, the Ginny that was attached the hand had run off into her room, and slammed the door with enough force to make the Burrow sway.

It would be a matter of time before Mum, Dad or the brothers find out about this (no doubt Ginny will have already told Hermione, the little snitch) and I'd rather not have them find me when they do. Maybe if I camp out in the garden, the gnomes will accept me as a part of their freaky little tribe…

Oh god. Oh god, I've just realised. Ginny will tell Hermione. Which means that she'll either be;

a) Amused and laugh at me, which is not good as it will mean she thinks of me as a stupid prat or

b) Annoyed and snub me, which is also not good as it will mean she thinks of me as a stupid prat.

Why can't I win? Just for once, couldn't I get a nice win-win situation?

The slight shuffling behind me brings me back to the messy haired, green eyed cause of all this trouble. Slowly, I turned around looked determinedly at a very interesting spot just behind Harry.

"Er…"

Oh, very nicely put, Harry. Unfortunately, the rules of talking means it's my turn to speak, even if he hardly said anything.

"Ah…"

Ha, I can do it too, you know. Beat you at your own game, Potter!

"We… Ron, we weren't doing anything, honest. G- Ginny just came in to talk to me cause I'd just sent off a letter to Sirius and cheered me up a bit cause I miss Sirius. But," he added hastily, "Not in… that way. She didn't cheer me up like that, it's not what you think, really. She just came in and sat on my bed and- wait, I mean that she came in and we… just… talked…"

Despite myself, I can feel my resolve crumble. Okay, so maybe I wasn't THAT mad at Harry, now I know he wasn't messing with my sister. I can take his word for it… he IS my best friend after all. I shuffle my feet a bit, my eyes now on the floor beneath my feet (oh, pretty pretty floor, you are so good to be there for me to stare at!).

"Well… maybe I might have taken it a bit… wrong. But, you know, it looked very suspicious, what with you on TOP of my sister and all…" I didn't want to fight with him like I did last year. It would be too hard and too painful.

"So, we're alright?"

"Yeah."

There, that wasn't too hard. A few manly claps on shoulders, and we're all set. Dust under the carpet. I suspect, however, that Ginny might not think of it as… dust under the carpet. She'll probably think of it all as dust flying about, threatening to crawl up her nose of something stupid like that.

"Uh… so, is Sirius alright?" I asked with a slightly strained voice. I still can't get over that image of Ginny and Harry like that, no matter what he says.

"Yeah… and I swear nothing happened, Ron, really. On my Firebolt."

He knows me too well. How did he know that I was thinking about it? A small relieved grin slipped on my face.

"Yeah, okay. I don't suppose you were showing my sister BeWitching Witches instead, were you?" A snort from Harry and a good natured shove as his face flushed a little.

"Sick, Ron, sick." Haha, bet you didn't think I would know about that magazine under your bed, did you?

And so, in the blessed nature of lads, we were back to normal again. Harry was sitting on the bed watching me try to catch Pig, who had made a little 'present' for me on my pillow, as I scrambled around the room swearing my little mouth blue.

"Stupid little- AH!" Ahh, so THAT'S where my socks had gone to. Well, now I had become reacquainted with them, I'd best put them somewhere where I WON'T slip on them. After cackling like a hippogriff on steroids, Harry looked at me seriously.

"Ron… don't you think you should go apologise to Ginny?"

…

Ha! Funny!

"Are you mad, Harry? She'd probably make an obscene threat about my… er… man hood and warn me she'd serve it me on a silver platter!"

"Well, yeah but Ginny's a girl. Go on, she looked really upset when you were swinging your hairy arms at me like that, and you'll probably get worse off your Mum if you don't."

Silence as I contemplated that. As always, Harry had a point. I sighed.

"I guess. Alright, I'll go now. And my arms are NOT hairy." I added as I stepped out of the room.

"Sure they aren't." He replied with a smirk before holding out his arm for Pig who landed there with an insanely happy hoot. Bloody birds.

Walking to Ginny's room, I thought over the best way to apologise.

'So sorry Gin, but I thought that my best mate was trying to get into your robes?' She'd probably slap me for that, if Hermione didn't.

'I hope you're happy, I need therapy now.' Oh sure, THAT'S the way to go innit? Ron you retard.

Standing outside her door, I raised my hand to knock on the wood when suddenly, I realised I could hear Ginny and Hermione speaking in the room quite clearly. Oooh, should I or shouldn't I? Okay, so what was I here to do again? Who cares?

A slow grin worked its way up to my mouth.

This should be fun.