Tour of Konoha...
LuVsUx
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if ya not using your soul, I have five bucks...
On with the tour...
"Hi, my name is (insert name), and I'll will be your tour guide for today. So everything I say goes, if I say to smack your mom, you'll do it, if I say to eat shit and die, you'll do it, Get it? Good, so lets start off, then. Its a misty moisty mourning in the village of Konoha. The sun is dawning, people are crowding the streets, and birds are crapping everywhere. Pretty average day in the life of a Konoha ninja. First up, in the tour is the village idiot, Naruto. Lets see what our young ninja is up to..."
Naruto: "Zzzzzzz, 'beep' you Sasuke...zzz..."
"Well then..., I guess he's asleep, Lets just make sure he stays that way... For now, anyways. Hey you..., yeah you... Here take this and knock him out. What? Who cares if its a crowbar, just hit him! Ohhh yeah, just like that... You know how daddy likes it! Alright, now that he's knocked out, and probably bleeding internally, lets take a look inside his room."
"As much of a weird dumbass Naruto is, his room is pretty normal, a little too normal if you ask me... Hey you..., the guy in the corner, go check under his mattress."
(15 min. later)
"Okay, so lets see what we all found... What nothing? Too bad, cause I found this gold chest in his closet, I hope it's cash, this job doesn't exactly pay... that... mu... ch..."
...D
...A
...M
...N
(I'm building up some dramatic suspense...)
...heh...
(okay, I'm done)
"HOLY SHIT! It's PORN! A chest FULL of PORN!"
'Cough' 'Cough'
"Erm, as a higher ranking Konoha ninja, I'm confiscating these... atrocious obscenities... (my precious...)"
"On with the Tour! Here take this camera... I'll shoot him in the crotch with this squirt gun and you will take a picture of the resulting combination of water and crotch... Cool I'll make some copies and hand them out later... Lets leave Naruto to his blissful rest, and move on to the red light district for the next part of our tour... single file everyone."
"So the next area of our tour..."
BOOOOOOM!(Cheap ass sound effects...)
Naruto: "WHO THE HELL PISSED IN MY SHOES!"
"THEY DID IT! laterz, bitches..."
Naruto: "I'm gonna RIP out your eyes and SKULL 'beep' YOU!
Well, thats day one of my fabulous, wonderfulness, cheesy-tastic tour of Konoha. Until we meet again, I'm your naughty pirate ninja guide... (insert name)... Review for the next areas of our tour, anywhere and everywhere in the village of Konoha. God, I hope you choose the, "Hotels."