NOTES- Sly Cooper and related characters are property of Sucker Punch. Macavity's based on a character own by Andrew Lloyd Webber and/or T.S. Eliot. Nee's characters are property of Nee. The Great Pretender by Queen (What a great band). Here's part 2 of the previous chapter.
Oh lookit, more peeples have reviewed Nee's writings. Thanks go's out to Noalyn, Purple Carnation and AngelLadyG. Hopefully more will join your names next chapter.
Ch5 - The Great Pretender
It took all of ten minutes to get to a small alley one or two rooftops from the theatre, as Sly and the gang wished to stay out of the sight of the police surrounding the building. After getting the layout off Bentley's computer and coming up with a plan of attack, Sly was out the van and up to the rooftop.
'Just a simple break in,' Sly ran through the plan as he carried it out with his eyes shut. 'Hop three roofs, slide on the phone line above the police for seventeen seconds, cane to the theatre sign and drop in through the hole in the ceiling to the foyer.' Sly opened his eyes when he landed. All around him was tired, old red and gold fitting of the once majestic Great Pretender Theatre. 'This is so easy, someone with a joypad could do it.'
"'Sitting Duck', do you read me?"
"Sure 'Wizard', I read ya." Sly pulled the benoc-u-com from it's place on his belt to reply. 'I still think using codenames is stupid.'
"Do you see your host anywhere?"
"Nope. I'll have to look around. Say Ben... 'Wizard', why haven't the police stormed the place yet?" Sly said as he grab a Drifter bar from the concession stand in front of him. "I mean why just surround the place?"
"One moment I'll check." As Bentley fingers tapped away at the keyboard, the thief looked around some more at the foyer. The doors of the main entrance had been boarded up for years from the look of them, the posters on the walls were tatty and yellow with age and much to Sly's horror, the food from the concession stand was of the same vintage. "SLY! SLY!"
"What happened to 'Sitting Duck'?" The thief would have followed that train of thought if it weren't for the turtle's response.
"Sly just get out of there! The police aren't advancing because they received a report saying there's a whole audience hostage in there!"
"Bent, this place ain't been a theatre for years. Which ways the auditorium?"
"Up the stairs to the right. But I strongly suggest you think about this before..." Sly put the benoc-u-com away before starting up the stairs.
There had be some traps on the staircase, like the fall away steps, some with tar on, followed by some with nails on. 'Guess who's watched Home Alone.' These traps were all useless against someone who can simply run along the thin stair-rail. The peeling wooden doors at the end of the stairway creaked as Cooper pushed them opened a crack to check for the so-called hostages. As Sly had suspected there was no audience, this Henri guy had lied so well to the cops outside, he even convinced the ever-sceptical Bentley. Had the city not been burnt for him, Sly would have applauded Henri, but it had, so no chances of that. With no one else to worry about Sly hopped into the vased auditorium.
Like much of the theatre, the large room was old, dated and ragged. The seats were stained by drinks long since drunk, the giant curtain on stage was moth-eaten and parts of the floor had dust a inch thick. Expect for a corner of the room which had actually been cleared of dirt, grime and... chairs?
"What the heck?" Sly walk over a row of seats to the far corner where the theatre seats had been removed and a bed had been put in their place. The bed had various bits of medical equipment surrounding it and it's occupant. A very, very old lady laid there. The elderly tom was asleep in a oxygen mask with eight different tubes stuck in her.
"Too real iz this feeling of make believe,
Too real when I feel want my heart can't conzeal,"
'Great. You try to do something original and by the next day there are already imitators.' Sly turned to see the stage curtain raising to reveal the younger ginger tom from the cellcam footage, sitting on a stool, facing the ground. Although Sly thought this song was a mere rip off of his heist, he decided to humour the performer and listen.
"Oh, oh, yes, I'm the Great Pretender,
Just laughing and gay like a clown,
I zeem to be what I'm not you zee,
I'm wearing my heart like a crown,
Pretending
that you're ztill around." Henri looked straight past the thief to the
old woman, smiled softly and turned to Sly. "It iz her favourite zong,
and one ,which unfortunately, mirrorz my life. Wee, Queen iz truly the
only good thing to come out of England. Zo what'z your name officer?"
"I'm Sly Cooper and I'm not a cop."
"You're not? Then may I azk what you're doing in my home?"
"There are hundreds of people now in hospital because of you and your gang."
"Oh... zo you're here for what?... Revenge for your home? Friendz? Loved one?"
"Yes."
"Which?"
"My Home. The whole of Paris is my home." He had wanted to say Carmelita, but it was at that point it hit him. He didn't know what his feelings were for the Inspector, was she friend or... other. Did he actually...
"Well that plot has hack-writer written all over it." The tom response reminded Sly there was work to be done. "The villain hurtz the city, the hero appearz from no where to level justice with his own hand and the villain getz his azz handed to him no zweat. Hollwood would love it, but here..." The villain of the piece then whipped out a remote, leapt in to the air, twenty-two feet in to air and landing on a old dusty chandelier. "...you have to zuffer for your art."
'How the hell did he do that?' Sly didn't ponder the answer for long. The light emitted by one of the four chandeliers suspended in the room became caught on something heading for Sly's neck, fast!
SWISH
Sly looked up to see the razor-wire carry on it's path. He thanked all the gods he could think of for the Cooper Blood he had in his veins, anyone else would not have been fast enough to dodge razor-wire travelling atthat speed. Still below seat level, he looked up at the joker on the chandelier laughing his head off.
"So Macavity, Henri, whatever your name is, is that the only way you stop the audience leaving during the performance?" That stopped the laughter. "I mean I heard you're a bad actor but this is ridiculous." That started other pieces of wire. 'Cooper, You've GOT to learne to quit when you're ahead.'
Now there were a hundred pieces of that deadly wire whizzing around the room in all directions. Their wall mounts, now clearly visible, started just above the old woman's bed and continued up to the bottom of the chandeliers. The only way to reach the figure near the ceiling, had just became a tangled web of death... Sly smiled. Up till now, the whole theatre experience had been boring.
After studying the paths of the wires for a few moments, Sly lifted his cane above his head and caught one of the fast moving threads. He wrapped his body around the tough wooden part of his cane, not wanting to catch an part of himself in the passing wires. Five jumps later and Sly hooked a wire that took him within jumping distant of a chandelier. As he jumped up on to the top of the chandelier, his prey leapt to one on the other side of the room. 'He's wearing a harness. That fake! And here's me thinking he jumped that twenty-two feet all by himself.'
"I zee you're quite good at wire work, Monsieur Cooper. Let'z zee how good you are at the prat fall."
"I don't like the sound of that." A second later the chandelier Sly was on fell to the floor. Sly however had been able to jump to the one next to him. As did the guy in the harness.
"Your timing waz way off, Zly. I'm afried we've just got to do that zcene again."
"I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but could you cool it with the puns!"
"Hmmm... No." The crazed actor once again worked the remote and sent a second chandelier crashing to the ground, snapping all the wire below it. The thief only just made the jump to next platform and the tom who occupied it. Scared that he only had two chandeliers left, the villain jumped the short distant to the final one and activated a set of security bars that surrounded him and his last chandelier. Cooper would have been able to reach his prey before the bars came down if he hadn't looked down and seen what was below him.
'The Old Woman!' Sly was still. If this one was released, it would kill the bed-stricken woman, no matter how much medical equipment surrounded her.
"WAIT!"
"Zorry, my friend, but its time to leave you on the cutting room floor." Before Sly had a chance to stop him, the tom sent the weighty object hurtling towards the ground.
"Crap!" Sly knew there was a way he could save himself and the old girl, he also knew it would hurt like hell. He'd have to combine the slow-motion move and the fast time move that his ancestors had come up with. Focusing the slow-mo on the rest of the world, whilst keeping a fast time focused on himself. The racoon had tried this once before... out of curiosity... he wasn't curious for long. Running through the still air particals felt like being sandblasted and although it left little physical damage, the pain was very extensive. But he had to do it.
Cooper jumped from the falling chandelier and started the combined techniques. Almost instantly the young thief passed the over-sized Christmas bauble and landed on the ground with a thud.
'Next. Time. Cooper. Get. Closer. To. Ground. Before. Jumping.' Thought Sly biting through his pain. He ran to the elderly tom, pick her up with the utmost care and walked as slow as he could in his "Fast timed" state away from the chandelier. 'Got. To. Be. Careful. She. Might. Not. Be. Up. To. The. Pain. Of. Passing. Particals.'
CRASH!
"I... did it." The young tom just stood there. He'd seen the crystal chandelier fall and create the huge dust cloud that now obscured the ground. "I did it, Kofi zaid I didn't have it me. And I did it. I can't wait to zee that giant jackazz'z face when he zee I proved him wrong." He then launching into movie-villian maniacal laughter until the dust cleared and he saw where his last hanging death trap had landed. "MAMA!"
"Don't... don't worry I got 'er." On the stage was a very out of breath racoon kneeling next to the old woman. "Got... to far into character hmmm."
"You zaved my mama... Why, when I juzt tried to kill you?"
"Because."
"Thank you Zly Cooper." The final chandelier desended to the ground slowly. When he reached the floor, the young ginger tom got rid of his cage and walked up to his mother.
"I did it... for her. Too many have already been hurt because... of you tonight."
"Wee... it waz not my idea. The actor iz juzt the director'z tool."
"So you're not really... Macavity, I take it?"
"Non. I'm only me. Poor weak Henri."
"Then why the whole theatre death trap?"
"I'm paid to zay I am Macavity. I play all my partz to the hilt." Henri looked to his mother. "I'm the fifth Everett to play the role. It'z a family tradition. When the malez in my line reach nineteen Macavity gets us to 'be him'. Zo I get zhot at, arrezted and the rezt of the hazardz that come with being a crimelord and he get'z to walk the ztreetz az no one knowz what he really lookz like."
"Why do all that?"
"You azk alot of questions, don't you? The fame and money I guezz. Az Macavity everyone knowz your name and mama'z health care iz very coztly... I'm zorry for what he did to your home."
"Don't worry. It's his doing, not yours. He'll pay for it."
"Zhame I won't be here. I would have liked to have zeen that."
"Why? Where are you going?"
"When the police finally break down those doors, which they will and arrezt me for the second time, that when I face my final curtain. Macavity has a rule, The Deadmen Tell No Talez rule. You're arrezted once, its because the copz got lucky, you get caught twice and you could be being caught on purpoze..."
"On purpose? You mean so they have a reason to meet with the police..."
"And exchange information? Wee, that iz what I mean. You zee, Macavity didn't get where he iz today by being zloppy. The zecond time, you don't get zprung, you get... typecast as a deadman."
"Why don't you make a break for it?"
"I can't leave my mama." Henri reached into his pocket and produced some pills. "Itz time for her medication."
"But if you stay, the police will take you away from her." Sly watched as a worried son took care of his ill mother, it reminded him of the hours after the five had attacked his own father. Something else was similar...
"Then they do zo against my will, I will never leave her willingly. And that thought will keep me warm even when 'zhe' comes for me." Tears started rolling down Henri's cheeks. The old woman had stopped breathing. She hadn't drawn breath since Sly took her from the bed. This guy was trying to care for a dead body, that's what was similar. In the hours before the police came, Sly had tried to care for his dead father, even given the old man some pills like Henri had tried to do for his mother.. The tears still flowing Henri managed a smile. "Zhhhh... Zhe rezting."
"No. No she's not, man. She's gone." Sly remembered those same words being used on him. "I'm so sorry..."
"Don't be. Zhe'd been like thiz for yearz. Doctorz alwayz zaid zhe waz dead, it waz only thoze ztupid machinez..." Herni pointed to the now crushed medical equipment under Henri's last attempt to kill Sly, "...that kept her alive. I guezz I truly am ze great pretender..."
"Come on, there's nothing left for you here." Sly said, partly feeling glad he had not been the thing that killed her and partly feeling guilty for feeling glad at a time like this. He also knew the answer he'd get.
"I will never leave her willingly."
'Yep the same answer.'"Then I'll leave you two here." Sly remembered the hatred he'd felt and still felt towards the men who forced him to leave his father. There was no reason behind the hatred, he just did and he wasn't about to make someone hate him the same way. He turned and walked away.
"Zly." The thief stopped and looked back at the actor. "I may not know where you can find Macavity but... here." Henri tossed Cooper a small gold object.
"Thanks... What is it?"
"I don't know what it iz, but it zhould help you with your zearch for the bozz."
"How?"
"If you have zomething of hiz, he'll find you. Good luck."
And with that the actor turn back to his mother and rocked her in his arms. And the thief went back to the foyer and out in to Paris.
Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Pretending I'm doing well (ooh ooh)
My need is such I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell
"... how's my hair? What's that? We're on? Oh, Hello I'm Scott Crawford of SCES News. Tonight the great city of Paris experienced a level of carnage, the like which this report has never seen. Fires, jailbreaks, all leading up to an attack on a police convoy..."
Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh)
I play the game but to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
"... the convoy was escorting a unnamed prisoner back to Interpol when it came under attack from a mysterious sniper. The assassin shot the driver of the prison transport van through the windscreen and caused the vechical to crash, killing everyone aboard..."
Ooh Ooh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not (you see)
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're still around
Yeah ooh hoo
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
"Althought the police are yet to comment on the matter, all these horrors are believed to be connected and down to one organised crime-ring. Once again for those who have just joined us, a sniper has just killed four police officers and a prisoner. Our hearts go out to their families. More at eleven... This is award winning stuff, wish I got a story like this everyda... What's that? We're still on? Well turn it off you fu..."
Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're -
Pretending that you're still around